He's Hurt

Title: He's hurt

Author: videokid-x

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Lucius/Draco

Summary: What goes on inside Draco's mind. He's hurt.
Warnings: Self-injure, smut, incest. XD

Disclaimer: Don't own.

AN: Switches from third to first pov's. Sorry 'bout that. Hope you like it, it's pretty dark, but really short.

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Third person.

Lucius had never been very lenient with Draco. Every time Draco would make a mistake, even the smallest; Draco was in for it. Draco never cried when he did it, he never even screamed or begged for it to stop. Lucius had thought maybe his son was thinking he deserved it. Lucius never knew what was going on inside his son's mind as he hit him countlessly when he did something wrong. Lucius thought maybe Draco deserved the privacy of his thoughts, but every once in a while, Lucius would cast Legilimens on him just to check up once in a while. Draco could always tell when his father was digging through his mind; he could literally feel it.

Tonight wasn't an exception. Draco had made a fool of himself at the huge ball that the Malfoy's threw at their manor. Draco hadn't run out of the room, but hung his head in shame and tried to avoid his father's gaze. He knew what was going to happen later on that night. The pain.

Lucius glared down at his son. It was now 10:34pm and they were in Lucius' study. Draco had the most sincere look on his face, he thought maybe his father would have some mercy, but he never had.

One. Two. Three. Four hits. Draco rubbed his redenned face. This wasn't it. One, two, three hits to the stomach. Draco was on the floor panting for air.

Lucius bent down and trailed his finger from Draco's face to his shoulder, grabbing both his shoulder's, Lucius thrust Draco upwards and slammed him against the wall.

"You aren't going to do that again, are you Draco?" Lucius growled to his son, which in turn, winced and held onto Lucius' arms.

Draco quickly nodded his head and tried to take a deep breath, but found it painfull. Lucius had hit him hard in the ribs.

"No... father." He gasped.

Lucius let go of Draco, only to throw him to the floor once more. Draco felt his father's foot collide once more with his ribs. Draco winced and rolled over and into the fetal position. Draco couldn't count how many times he had been in this situation, but it seemed worse each time.

Draco thought that it wasn't over, but when he finally got the courage to look up, he found that the door was just closing. Lucius' footsteps echoing outside in the hallway.

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Draco's pov.

Why does he do this to me? So frequently. Sometimes he does it even when I didn't even do anything, sometimes just because something didn't go his way, or according to plan. I'm like his personal punching bag, to take things out on. Blames everything on me. Takes his anger and hate out on me. He's a heartless bastard, my father.

I'm left in his study, still panting for breath. I hate but love him. This is the only real contact I ever get from him. His abuse. I never say anything because I feel ashamed. Ashamed for these corrupt feelings that invade my mind. I hate him so much. He causes me so much pain and trouble, and mother doesn't even do anything. She even watched while he did it a few times, it was horrifying.

He's gone now. I'm not sure why he let me off so easily, I made a fool of myself and probably of him too. Maybe he's coming back. No, I better go before anything else happens.

I run out of the study and through the hallways down to my bedroom. I know he would come looking for me, but I don't care anymore.

Under my mattress. I grab the tiny peice of shiny metal. Old splatters still left there. Maybe I should clean it, it could become rusty and become dull.

I don't know why I do this still. I know nothing will change, I know he won't ever stop doing this. He's so forcefull and it hurts. My hands are shaking as I clean the blade with a dampened cloth. He's everything and nothing to me. I want to block him out, but then again I don't. I hate him so much. That fucking bastard can rot in hell for all I care, I don't care anymore. I want this to finally end. He's the reason everything turned to shite.

I walk up to my large open window and look out into the sky. All of the stars twinkling, for me. I know that this time, I want it all to just go away.

Holding the small but sharp blade in my right hand, I bring it to my forearm. Here goes. I glide it slowly across my pale scarred flesh. I wince and bite my bottom lip. It stings, but I don't give a damn anymore. One slit done.

I let out a breath and open my eyes that were shut tight, looking up into the night's sky, I bring the blade back and make another one. This time, I make it quick but very hard. Every time it hurts more, but that's one thing I love. He makes me feel pain, so I inflict it upon myself as well. Maybe he'll finally see my pain.

My tears are finally leaking, this is where it all gets worse. I bring that blade back to my arm and keep cutting, I bring it to my wrist, bend it and cut deeply. I can feel the sharpest sting I ever felt in my life, I've never cut myself there... I was too afraid to bleed that much, to cut a vien, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't care about me, he likes to hit me. I like to punish myself.

I can feel his aura coming closer to my room, so I switch hands and take the blade in my left hand, but that's a pretty hard task to do with all this blood flowing. I bring it to my right wrist and lead a long cut up my arm, making sure to try to put my weight into it. He deserves to see me this way, what he's done to me. His derranged son.

The blade drops to the floor with a small clatter. I let my arms hang as I look back up into the night's sky. The beautiful stars twinkling for me alone. The moon so full, this sounds so cliche, but its so beautiful. The scenery of my deathbed.

Something inside me hits me, and I feel this urge to hide my wounds, because I can feel him even closer now. So angry, so powerful. He doesn't know yet, what he's done.

My heart is racing even more now, the thrill of being found out. I decide to reach down and grab the blade again. I'm not through. I bring it to my left wrist that is slowly losing feeling. I cut once more, over a scarred cut, re-opening it.

I hear the door open violently, and my hand is going more faster as I dig the blade into my flesh. My clothes are damp with blood and I can feel it sliding down my legs.

"Draco! Gods, what are you doing!"

I hear him shout, but it seems more like a muffled scream. I feel so weak now, but I keep cutting, and I know I'm going insane now. Why stop? It's all gone to crap anyhow.

I feel my fathers hold on me, he grabs the blade out of my hand and he throws it somewhere in the hallway. At that second, I manage to scramble away from him and I crawl quickly on the floor to where he threw my tool.

"Leave me alone, Lucius! I can make it all better!" I scream as I crawl on the floor.

I hear him behind me, he grabs me and turns me around, I'm being cradled in his arms. I feel so weak. He's looking into my eyes, our identical grey eyes. I turn away and look at the blade on the ground, it is in my view. I reach a hand towards it, but my hand is brought down by my father.

"No... Draco. No." he whispers to me in a soothing voice.

I think I may be dreaming, because I can see his eyes watering, his expression softening. I continue to bleed as I lay in the arms of my father.

I see him rustling through his pocket, pulling out his wand, he is about to mutter something under his breath.

"No... leave me. Please." I whisper, my tears still leaking.

He shook his head, I can see him crying now, and I don't know why he doesn't just throw me down and heal me while he can. I can't move now, my arms are limp and my legs won't budge. I smile.

"You need to let me go, father."

"NO!" He shouts, his arms still cradling me.

I see him lean down, and our lips brush against each other briefly, I can feel the tingle and I move into him, our kiss deepening. He pulls away.

"You're not going anywhere, Dray..." He whispers softly.

He mutters the healing spell and I look and watch as my wounds heal themselves, but that won't help the fact that I just lost about 5 pints of blood and feel incredibily dizzy and lightheaded. I can't even move, even after he heals me.

"I'm numb." I mumble, my eyes closing from exhaustion.

"Draco... please..." He says, pulling me to his chest.

I open my eyes. "Please what? ... you're the one that caused all of this." I hiss.

I can feel him shaking beside me, his arms are firmly wrapped around me. "You're going to be alright... I'm so sorry, Draco. I-I ... didn't know."

I could laugh at the irony. "No, you're not." I say and kiss his neck and move up towards his lips. I cover them with my own and I lick at his bottom lip, he gives me entry and I can taste him. I breathe in his scent as I feel me fade, maybe this isn't the end, but it's a nice feeling. I pull away, looking into his watery cold eyes. And everything turns to darkness.

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Right after Draco blacked out, Lucius thought that that was it, he thought his little boy was gone, but then he felt his heart still beating, and he rushed him to St. Mungo's. His son would need alot of treatment, and he would make sure that he was there every second. He loved his son, he just had a derranged way of showing it. Through pain. The Malfoy's would always maintain their superiorority.

End.