HAT: I was watching stuff on Youtube and I messed with the Random Pairing Generator and then I got this!

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, I don't even think I own all of the plot... just part of it.


Old Deuteronomy stands on top of the tire and looks down at the Jellicles that he's gathered. They stand there, or sit, looking up at him in confusion and expectation. They're all wondering why they're gathered and what he's looking at on that clipboard. Even Munkustrap isn't allowed to look at it or even Gus, who's a bit older than Deuteronomy. So, there they sit, in confusion and waiting for whatever to happen to happen. Still, he just looks at that clipboard.

"So, there's a little experiment that Macavity thought I should try-"

"Why're you listening to Macavity?" demands Tugger. "He's a criminal."

The old leader glances up at his second eldest son and sighs. "There was a video... and we play poker sometimes." This causes a few tribe members to blink, but he continues anyway. "So, each of you will do something, depending on what I draw from this hat... and you'll do it to the cat you're assigned to."

Coricopat and Tantomile's eyes widen. "What?! We're doing what?!"

"What're we doing?" Tumblebrutus asks his queenfriend.

Tantomile runs a paw through her head fur and sighs. "You'll see... there's two options, neither one a really good one... though one, I'm sure, will go better than the other."

"Oh, yeah," Coricopat mutters.

Deuteronomy rolls his eyes. "Okay, so... Tantomile and Electra... Munkustrap and Rumpelteazer, Jenny and Jemima... Alonzo and Gus... Mistoffelees and Exotica, Tumblebrutus and Victoria... Admetus and Demeter, Skimbleshanks and Asparagus, Mungojerrie and Coricopat, Bustopher Jones and Pouncival... Tugger and Etcetera... and Plato and Bombalurina... So... have fuuuun," he says as he reaches into the hat and picks one, making the mystics relax. "Slapping one another!"

"I am not slapping Etcy!" Tugger says immediately.

"I-I can't slap uncle Gus," Alonzo says in distraught.

"Lucky Jellylorum, out collecting herbs," Bustopher complains.

Plenty of protests rise until Deuteronomy crosses his arms and raises one eyebrow and goes into "daddy mode" to make them quiet down. "It's a bonding experience, just trust me!"

Everyone shares looks and looks back up at their leader, unsure, but he hasn't let them down so far, so they might as well trust him with this... with reluctance, I might add. Everyone turns to face the person that they're assigned to and are very reluctant to slap anyone.

Tantomile & Electra:

Tantomile looks at the queen-kit and bites her bottom lip. She doesn't want to slap the kit, but it's better than what was originally planned. "Um... how's your morning been?"

"Pretty tired, I'm sleepy now," she replies with a yawn. "I guess we're supposed to slap each other."

"So... do you want to go first or me?"

"You, I need to wake up anyway." Tantomile reaches forward and then pulls her hand back in reluctance. This continues for about a minute before she closes her eyes and kits the kit in the face and hearing a cry. She opens her dark brown eyes and moves forward, guilty for what she's done and apologizing profusely before stuttering to a stop when the black and brown she-kit laughs. "Wow, that woke me up! I guess it's my turn."

Apparently kits have no reluctance when it comes to slapping others before she slaps and it's a pretty good slap, the female mystic had to admit. "That was a good one."

"I'm sorry," Electra says, batting her big, dark brown eyes.

"Oh, it's okay, I'm sorry, too," Tantomile says, gathering the kit in a hug.

Munkustrap & Rumpelteazer:

The silver tabby looks at the tri-colored calico awkwardly. Rumpelteazer smiles sheepishly, her dark brown eyes gaining that tint of green. They only exchange awkward smiles before Munkustrap points to her and himself, a silent question. The she-thief grimaces and hits Munkustrap in the face and then giggles, a guilty look on her face. Munkustrap hits her lightly on the face, enough so she won't think that he went easy on her and make him hit her again, but soft enough that he won't feel guilty.

"Come on, you can hit harder than that!" complains the Cockney young queen.

"But I-"

She slaps him and it stings, causing him to look at her in shock. "Hit me like that."

He grimaces. "But I don't-"

"Do it!" she yells. "Are you a cat or a mouse because quite frankly you're seem pretty mousey to me."

With a heavy sigh he hits her harder, enough to leave a red mark and she grins. "Thanks!"

"Why are you thanking me for hitting you?"

"Because I know you'd be willing to do something like that for me."

He hugs her. "I really didn't want to hit you."

"Yes you did... somewhere in there."

He chuckles. "I suppose."

Jenny & Jemima:

Jemima shifts from foot to foot and looks up at Jennyanydots with uncertainty. "But, I don't want to do it... you said-"

"I know, but since Old Deuteronomy's giving us no choice and others are doing it, I give you permission to hit me."

"But-"

Jenny lightly slaps the kitten rather gently, but she made it sound louder and harder than it actually was, and her chocolate brown eyes hold guilt. "Come on, just hit me, as hard as you want to."

Jemima moves to make it hard, but she merely taps the queen's cheek. "There, that's how much I wanted."

The Gumbie Cat smiles and rubs the kitten's hurt cheek. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble, you did what I asked and stayed true to yourself... that's all I could ask for."

Jemima grins, proud of herself and glad that the mother figure in her life is proud of her, too. After all, this queen, along with Jellylorum, have acted as her mothers since she didn't know her birth mother, unlike her older siblings, Mistoffelees and Victoria, so they're as close as she's ever gotten to any type of mother.

Alonzo & Gus:

Gus sits there, a bored expression on his face as he looks up at the black and white patched tom. Obviously he doesn't want to slap the elder tom, who's been an uncle figure to him, to a lot of them despite having been the Heartthrob before. Dark brown eyes stare into bright blue ones with boredom and he sighs.

"Seriously, I've been hit pretty hard back in my day," assures the black and brown stripped tom.

"I-I know, but-"

"He never said how hard you had to slap me," the actor says, trying to provide some sort of comfort to the patched tom.

A slow nod before a small smack hits the wrinkled cheek of the Sr. Asparagus, who blinks in surprise. No, not in pain or even a sting, but at how... she-kit-like it is now. He lifts his paw and hits Alonzo like a tom, hard and fast, making the mostly white faced cat stare in pure and utter shock.

"If you're gonna hit me, hit like a tom instead of a she-kit. Jemima's hit me harder than that!"

Okay, granted it was an accident because she was squirming and kicked him in the jaw and she apologized for a week straight before he assured that he was fine with it, but it still counts and it was still harder than how he was hit just now.

"Okay, fine!" Alonzo hits the tom like the tom he's supposed to be and the slapped tom gains a grin.

"There's a real hit!" proudly says the striped tom. "That's the hit of a Jellicle!"

The patched tom stares at the one he's slapped and blinks. "Wow... I don't feel as guilty as I thought I would after that reaction."

"You shouldn't," grunts the one with shaky paws. "You nearly disappointed me."

The two laugh and watch the others slap each other, finding a surprising amount of joy in doing so.

Mistoffelees & Exotica:

The black and white tux walks up to the dark brown queen reluctantly and as soon as he opens his mouth, he's slapped. He gapes for a moment before he blinks. He's shocked that they didn't even have a decent, yet awkward conversation, much like the others, before slapping one another. Of course Exotica, much like her sister, likes to get to the point and save awkward conversations for later, a habit that the both of them, as Gus has said, got from their mother, a queen named Kohana.

The dark queen raises an eyebrow. "So? Are you doing to slap me back?"

"Oh," the conjuring cat murmurs, his dark eyes looking up at the queen, sister of his sometimes assistant, and sighs. "O-okay..."

He slaps her, not as reluctant as with it as others and not as softly as other have begun either. To his surprise she laughs.

"That was a good one! Wanna do it again?"

He chuckles nervously. "Okay, I guess we can keep going," he replies, getting slapped and he slaps back immediately, laughing at the pain and how awkward, yet... intimate everything is.

Tumblebrutus & Victoria:

Oh, boy, Plato's gonna kill me... and Misto... and Tugger and Munkustrap, thinks the white and brown young tom.

"Come on, I'm not afraid to get slapped, Misto's done it plenty of times in the past," Victoria says with a smirk.

"W-well... I mean-"

"You think I can't handle it... Here, I'll slap you as hard as I can and you can slap me back and see if I can handle it," she says.

The blue eyed tom-kit nods reluctantly. "Okay."

She cocks her arm back and swings, hitting him on the cheek and he stumbles a little. "Think I can take it?"

Most definitely, he thinks, unable to move his jaw other than to try and make it work at the moment. "Okay, I see... but if your brothers and mate kill me, it's not my fault."

She shrugs. "Okay... go for it!"

He hits her just about as hard as she hit him and she giggles. They slap back and forth, him flinching back every now and them, but for some odd reason they can't explain, they're having a good time just... slapping one another.

Admetus & Demeter:

"Come on, don't be a wimp," Admetus insists, tilting his cheek toward her. "I can take it."

The skittish queen shifts. "I don't know."

He lightly taps her face. "Okay, now hit me back, harder, okay?"

The black and gold queen grimaces as she hits him and the grayish brown tom laughs. "Whoa, that's some power!"

"You're taking this surprisingly well," the blue eyed queen murmurs.

"Well, I've got Plato so I've got a lot of practice being hit on by him, since that's what brothers do... yeah."

She observes him for a moment, as if to gauge his sanity, but realizes that if Munkustrap and Tugger were paired together, they would've slapped one another until one of them passed out. Sisters are a little different, but she can somewhat understand with Alonzo being like a brother to her... still, she's not a tom so she doesn't know. Oh, well, she'll just leave this alone and talk to the tom that she doesn't know as well as some other cats.

Skimbleshanks & Asparagus:

Neither of them wasted any time in slapping one another, in fact, they slapped one another at the same time. Seeing as they're just like brothers, there's no hesitation with stuff like this.

"Harder!" The two yell, getting slapped to the point they'll probably bruise.

"You hit like a queen," Asparagus complains.

"You hit like a queen-kit," Skimbleshanks complains.

The two end up wrestling, acting like two tom-kits would. Some of the others briefly pause their slapping to observe the two, but they've all seen something like this at least once before and they know that neither mean to hurt each other so they won't be in the Gumbie Cat's den any time soon.

There's not much else to say about these two besides they do this for the duration of the... slappage.

Mungojerrie & Coricopat:

The two toms stare at one another, dark brown eyes staring into bright blue ones. The one with bright blue eyes slowly raises his right paw before bringing it down swiftly on the other's face and a Cockney accented voice shouts out in pain.

"That hurts!" Mungojerrie complains.

Coricopat shrugs. "It's a slap, it's supposed to hurt."

The calico slaps back and the two end up in a staring contest, one of which the thief loses, making the mystic smirk. "You suck."

"That's just what you think," he grunts. "You're nervous about Munkus hitting Teazer... she's fine, she actually made him hit harder."

That makes the Notorious Tom relax. "Thanks, Cori."

A shrug. "No problem, it's just something that I do... Tantomile did not want to slap Electra, though."

Mungojerrie, though he doesn't know it, melts a little inside at the mention of his crush. "So, uh... how'd it go?"

That knowing smirk from the black and white mystic. "They're fine, they didn't slap one another too hard... in fact, Tanto got slapped harder."

That's my queen, the brown eyed young tom can't help but think.

"I wouldn't say that."

"Quit that!"

An amused chuckle.

Bustopher Jones & Pouncival:

Pouncival looks up at the cat in white spats and shifts awkwardly. He hasn't talked enough to the black and white tux in order to be comfortable with jumping up and slapping him. Sure, he has a high respect for him and wants to get a nod of acknowledgement from him now and again, but he doesn't know him that well. Bustopher feels that he shouldn't have to slap a tom-kit, that it's rude and he doesn't know him well enough to do it, even if his mother is Jennyanydots and uncle is Skimbleshanks.

"Well... I suppose that we'll have to slap one another," the large cat grunts.

"Uh-huh, I guess," the patched kit agrees. "So who goes first?"

"Well, do you want to go first?"

A shrug. "Okay, then, fine."

Bustopher moves to bend down, but the kit shocks him and jumps up to slap him. "Impressive."

"I'm sorry, did it hurt?"

"Not... too bad," admits the dark eyed tom before he does a slap like he would for a little kitten trying to touch something like glass.

Pouncival knows that he's held back, but he can't help but be grateful. "So... why do you always carry a spoon?"

Tugger & Etcetera:

The Rum Tum Tugger looks down at the silvery white queen-kit, and bites his bottom lip. This is his biggest admirer and he doesn't like hitting queens, even enemies that are queens, but he will if he has to. He glances up at his father and when he gets a stern look he groans. he doesn't want to hurt Etcetera, is that too much to ask? Could he just skip out on this? They stand there in silence before he just can't take it anymore and speaks.

"So... you wanna do it first or should I or... should we both do it at the same time?"

She seems to consider this before breathing out. "Same time."

"One..."

"Two..."

"Three!" they both say before slapping one another with a decent amount of strength and immediately hugging one another and apologizing repetitively.

I didn't want to do it! Tugger thinks, unknowingly with Etcetera.

"Wimps," a certain mystic male "coughs" into his fist, earning an amber glare.

Plato & Bombalurina:

"So... go on and slap me," the crimson queen asks, an eyebrow lifted.

The copper tom pales. "U-uh... I guess..."

She tilts her head so he can get to her cheek better and he slaps her hard enough to leave it red, but definitely not hard enough to get him beat because he left a bruise. She smirks and slaps him so hard that he ends on on the ground unconscious.

"Oh, crap! Plato, wake up," the spotted queen begs the patched tom and shakes him.

"Dang, Bomba, you still got it!" Alonzo calls from next to Gus.

She manages to get him up after a little while and some use of Jenny's smelling salts.

"That was a good slap," he says with a smirk. "Got some anger in there?"

She doesn't answer so it's a yes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, gonna be bruised, but nothing I haven't gotten from Admetus."

She thinks about it and shrugs in agreement. "I've seen you two, you're pretty rough."

An amused chuckle.

"Crap!" Rumpelteazer cries, causing heads to swivel direction and they find that Munkustrap is on the ground holding his jaw with a surprised and impressed look on his face. "I'm so sorry!"

"No problem."

A LITTLE WHILE LATER!~

Deuteronomy smiles at how close everyone's become... but there was something that he couldn't quite remember about Macavity's results.

"hey, we should try slapping each other," Rumpelteazer says to Mistoffelees.

The Jellicle leader's ears flatten and dark eyes fill with worry. Oh, yeah... what have I done?! I should've just chosen the other!


HAT: The next one will be the other option. I just wanted everyone to slap each other. The other option is... more or less as intimate.

Jemima: How is slapping someone intimate.

HAT: Well, you see, you have to know someone to slap them. You either hate them, knowing them and hating them because of what you know, and slap them out of spite, or you love them.

Jemima: Why would you slap someone you love?

HAT: It could be alight, playful slap, or a light/hard slap to get some sense into them because words don't work, so basically you slap them because you care... or it's a baby and they want to go near the outlet... that could be something too.

Jemima: Okay...

HAT: Mima?

Jemima: *kitten eyes and pouty lip* pwease wevew?

HAT: How can you say no to that?