A/N 1: This is dark and I really didn't mean for it to be. It just always seems to happen. It's slightly AU since they aren't sleeping together on the show. What is up with the document loader today?
Sometimes they get piss drunk. Sometimes they fuck like rabbits. Those two usually concur with a bad case.
They never get drunk together. No, he goes down to the bar just blocks away from her apartment. He'll sit there and have 5 or 6 beers until he can't feel his feet anymore. She'll drink at home alone with a bottle of vodka. He likes the bustle of the bar while she prefers the quiet. That way he can lose himself in the crowd and she can pour her own drinks.
But they always reunite when they get this drunk. Elliot never goes home when he's this bad. He's always too drunk to explain to the wife and kids what the hell has happened that makes him want to lose his mind in a bottle of beer. Instead, half the time he ends up on Olivia's couch. That's probably why he bitches and moans so much about it. It's too small for his frame.
The other half though is spent in her bed. That's the place he likes the most.
In bed it's all slick and sweaty between the sheets. Sometimes though, they go without the sheets. Sometimes, they leave lights on and he likes it that way. So does she. He can see her face when she comes. His wife never lets him do that. With them it's quiet and quick because god forbid the kids might suspect something. No, with Olivia its mind blowing monkey sex.
With her, it's hot and pounding and 'I think my heart might explode' sex. But sometimes, it's not. Sometimes it's sensual and slow and it makes his heart ache. Makes everything in him ache because he should be with her and not his wife.
It's not that he doesn't love his wife but he's not in love with. She will always be the mother of his children and his first love but that's it. The worst part is, he realized this awhile ago and hasn't been man enough to do something about it. Him, not man enough, makes him think how ironic. Big bad Stabler isn't man enough to divorce his wife.
He really shouldn't be blaming his wife. She doesn't even know that he's having an affair with Olivia. He only has himself to blame. It's not like he really meant for it to happen. He was so damned lonely after Kathy left him and then when Olivia left him for another division and that undercover assignment with the Feds. So damned lonely that he walked around for a whole month with what felt like a gaping hole in his chest. It was only resolved when he started sleeping with Olivia.
But one morning, years into the affair, she finally brings it up.
"I can't take this anymore," Olivia says sitting up in bed with her knees drawn to her chest.
"What?" He asks as he straightens his tie in the early morning.
He'd planning on heading home for a little while to see Eli. He'd told Kathy that they'd caught a hot lead in some case and that he'd be home in the wee hours. Truth was, he had caught something hot and that was Olivia
"This affair. I'm tired of being the other woman. The awkwardness and being second. I'm just so tired. I never knew it could hurt this much but I want this to be over Elliot," her voiced faltered with that last sentence. Her voice cracking as she tears up slightly. She wanted to end something that had been so momentous in both their lives.
He was slightly stunned by her admission but somewhere deep down he knew it was coming.
"Okay then," he said as calm as could be as continued to fiddle with his tie. "I'll get the divorce papers started today."
It was Olivia's turn to be shocked. She hadn't expected him to leave his wife. Never had. She had never put limits on their relationship or voiced her opinion about the situation until this morning and here he was, ready and willing to leave his wife at a moment's notice.
"Why the hell didn't you tell me this earlier?" She asks with venom seeping into her voice.
"You never asked," he says picking up her meaning easily. He has his back to her now as he's searching for his wallet.
"Fuck you Stabler," she says in such a menacing tone that it catches his attention and turns to face her.
"I really do want this to end. I don't want you leave your wife for me. I want you to leave me. Maybe if you had told me earlier that this is what you wanted, then maybe I'd be willing to be with you. But I will always come second, no matter what and I'm through doing that. So, get the hell out of my house and go home so you can go fuck your pretty little blonde haired wife," Olivia says as if she's speaking to a suspect and it shakes him to the core.
He never thought she could hate him like this because he doesn't hate her. No, he loves her to the depth of his soul.
"This is what you want?" He asks clearly shocked.
"Yes," she says and that simple word destroys his world.
"Okay, I'll see you at the station then," he says in a shell shocked way. He simply wants to leave.
This wasn't the way it was supposed to end. No, he envisioned them growing old together one day. But instead it had ended in hatred from her and love from him. What a screwed up way to end the most important thing in his life.
A/N 2: See, I told you dark and half the time I'm never sure where it comes from. Leave a review if you would.
