Chapter 1
Starfire had received a transmission from Kid Flash that someone would be arriving that afternoon to speak with her, much to her surprise, but she had never suspected Jinx to be sitting on her bed when she walked in after lunch. The pink sorceress was staring determinedly at the sheets and drawing lazy patterns into the fabric with her finger.
The sliding doors to her balcony were thrown wide open, and Starfire floated before them, tugging them closed.
Jinx cleared her throat noisily behind her. "Kid Flash said it would be courteous to say thank you," She hesitated. "Not many Titans would have been willing to speak with me."
She's not truly grateful – not like Kid Flash who had been delighted that there was someone willing to 'calm her troubled mind,' as he liked to put it.
"I am pleased," Starfire said softly, sitting at the edge of her round bed, "that you requested my help. Most of the team would have preferred to speak with Raven. Her emphatic abilities allow her to be more understanding of what they are feeling."
"I don't need someone to try to get in my head." Jinx defended fiercely, aware of Raven's powers.
"Because that would leave you vulnerable, yes?"
Jinx gritted her teeth and dragged her finger over the cotton sheet with vigor.
"You are entitled to your emotions and I will not take them from you." Starfire promised gently, because she understood Jinx's disposition. Raven's powers were ruthless, they divested wall after wall of emotion until they could get to your heart and it was then that you realized she knew every part of you including those dark little thoughts you entertained hours after midnight and it wasn't fair.
"Is your relationship with Kid Flash fairing well?" She inquired neutrally.
Jinx snorted and rolled her eyes."He's not around long enough for it to go anywhere. He puts the bad guys in jail and I put dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Compromise you know?" There's a tinge of sarcasm that goes amiss by Starfire.
"A generous trade."
There was a pregnant pause, and Starfire shuffled closer to Jinx, stilling the girl's finger on her bedspread.
"Please, why are we here Jinx?" She asked. Of course there was a 'we,' because no matter what Jinx had done in the past, she was a Titan now, and she'd never have to be alone again.
There was another heavy silence and Starfire could sense Jinx's inner turmoil, the girl's eyes looking anywhere else but at Starfire.
"Jinx, please. I would like to help you."
"I need a reason," She started off quietly, "for picking the 'other' side."
Starfire was momentarily stunned by the admission.
"You miss the darkness?"
It comes as a shock because Jinx has always appeared happy with her new life with Kid Flash, surrounded by his loving remarks and kind gestures.
"I'm bad luck. Good was never an option for me, Starfire." She repeated, just like she had explained to Flash and to Madame Rouge.
"And playing the other option was the option of bestness?"
"I was good at it. I liked it!" Jinx argued, and there's a hint of anger and desperation, her pink nails digging into the sheets. It is the latter of the two emotions that Starfire grips at.
Starfire was familiar with lies, she'd been lied to by too many people (Blackfire, Terra, Robin…) including herself, to not know the tremor and hatred in the voice of a liar when she hears one.
She knew what darkness taste like, how it takes you, and knowingly murmured, "No. You did not. It scared you. Robin has told me that the darkness enjoys feeding from its victims. It consumes all of you including the light. Your memories, your happiness, your friends and family, yourself – did you wish to give those up to the dark?"
"I tried to kill you."
The anger bloomed, crackling up the walls in pink static and Jinx's hands glowed pink, singing a hole into Starfire's sheets.
"I was the enemy!"
Starfire narrowed her eyes, "Yes, you were and now you are not. You were once Jinx of the H.I.V.E; now you are Jinx of the Titans."
Jinx laughed dryly. "Are you blind? Has that green energy of yours finally fried your eyes? I want to be the one endangering people's lives, I want to be the one playing the villain, being looked at with disgust , and getting my ass handed to me – I want it back!"
"Then why the Kid Flash."
"I DON'T KNOW!"
Pink magic clumsily bounced off Starfire's vanity and the furniture creaked to pieces and dust.
"In some regards I hate him." Jinx whispered, voice breaking, watching the dust settle from the explosion. "Hate the way he makes me feel, hate the number of times he's fooled my plans, and there's the pent-up rage. So much of it that it's hard to even breathe," She inhaled sharply and flicked her wrist, the two paintings Starfire had nailed on either side of her vanity come crashing down. Jinx closes her eyes and listens to their pains, loving the way the glass cries out and shrieks when it hits the floor.
"I wonder if a part of him hates me too. I spent years trying to kill the Titans with him as my target. You don't forget those feelings overnight."
Starfire watches the chaos eat up her room with silent wonder.
"Does offering you his home – his heart, not qualify of his 'forgetfulness' of your past deeds?"
Her pink eyes finally find Starfire's and there's a burst of flaring shame.
"You selected to leave the Brotherhood of Evil for Kid Flash and subsequently for the Titans."
"People know that I didn't change sides on my own stride. I switched for Kid Flash, and it worries them. They're worried I'm getting too close, that if things fall through with Kid Flash, I'll end up back on the other side. They won't let him forget." She spat. "And some nights it worries me too that I would. That I would leave for the H.I.V.E." She swallows thickly.
"What happens when Kid Flash isn't reason enough for Jinx?"
"I'm his girlfriend. You tell me."
She's stuck a hot, jagged dagger through Starfire's heart and twisted it in deep with the harsh truth of her situation.
Jinx would never be Jinx of the Teen Titans. She would always be Jinx the girlfriend of Kid Flash of Teen Titans, an ex-villain who fell for the good guy who was too wrong, too soon, and too bad...for Kid Flash.
"Let us hope that your relationship with Kid Flash stays at its best."
She shook her head slowly in disbelief. She's always imagined that there would have been something for her after Flash, even if it wasn't the H.I.V.E.
"I still have ghosts waiting for me in my dreams – skeletons in my closet. Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night wanting to kill the person you're sleeping next to, only to remember at the last second that you can't because you're someone else now? That if you do then you'll have no one?!"
Starfire struggled to find words. "No…I cannot say that I am familiar with such an experience." But she's woken up in the middle of the night displaced and lost. Trying to figure out where she was and why, and then it comes rushing back to her like a freight train slamming into her chest again and again when she finally does.
Jinx's face darkens, and its such an ugly expression on her lovely face, a scratch on her diamond exterior.
"They think it's hard for them to get past what I've done to them, but it hasn't been easy for me either! I gave up every bit of myself for Kid Flash. I left everything behind knowing I couldn't come back to it!"
Truthfully Starfire was awed by Jinx's passion, how this ex- villain turned a blind eye on everything she loved and everything she knew for something she loved more and knew nothing about. She wonders if Kid Flash appreciates the depth of Jinx's betrayal to the dark.
"You cannot. Perhaps never." Starfire agrees, eyes downcast and troubled. "But you must understand Jinx. They are simply confused. You were once the enemy and you are correct, they cannot forget."
She's struck a nerve now, and Jinx's back tenses involuntarily.
"You do not think much of yourself, but Kid Flash does, and so do I. Heroes are not born, they are made warriors in battle, Jinx."
"So my betrayal made me a hero did it?" The sorceress baited, and she's off the bed now, staring off into the distance through the clear balcony doors.
Stafire doesn't offer a response because she knows the morally correct answer, but she's not sure if it's the right one.
"If I knew I had to give up being a villain for Kid Flash…I pathetically would have done it again. But I know him now and I know the Titans, and if he leaves, I have no one left."
Jinx clenched her hands at her sides, nails digging into her palms and shoulders stiff. She opens the balcony doors with a sharp snap and a flurry of pink magic, Starfire's gaze hot on her back as she exits the room…but she pauses over the railing, contemplating deeply before she asks, "Tell me Starfire, if Robin had chosen the other side – if he had chosen Slade, would have you?"
Then she jumped and was gone.
A/N: After many years I've rekindled my passion for writing and the Teen Titans was the one fandom that deserved the spotlight all over again. The TV series was one of my absolute favorites as a child, and I'm still a little brain numb that Cartoon Network actually pulled the plug.
So for this particular series I really want to create this new age of mature Titans – how they all come to terms with themselves and Terra's betrayal, the aftermath of the final stand against the Brotherhood of Evil, and how they succumb to love. They're the underdogs in the superhero world, and there's a plethora of undiscovered talents and underestimated potential that Cartoon Network never bothered to unleash.
To start off the story I wanted to introduce Jinx and give an inside look into her head after her betrayal to the H.I.V.E. I don't think fans have really been able to appreciate the depth of Jinx's betrayal to the dark, and while it's beautiful, I can't imagine it not being a nightmare for Jinx. She was 'born' bad and now she's trying to discover her good. In my mind she's a lot like CatWoman, who isn't really evil but enjoys being on the opposite side of the law. She's an antihero even with her recent status on the Teen Titans.
For Starfire I wanted to plant a seed of doubt into her head and really make her evaluate her feelings for Robin. We've always seen Starfire as the alien princess with a crush on the Boy Wonder, but we don't really see the extent of her feelings. Now I know that Starfire did have a minor showdown with Robin as Red X, but this kinda plays off that very moment – what would she have done if Robin was a true villain?
Next chapter we get to see the aftermath of the fight against the Brotherhood of Evil and how the Titans have changed for better…and for worse.
