A LITTLE MAC MAN

© TONI

It's not all the time Mac gets time off from work. I mean, of course he does have the mandatory week-off every quarter, but he seldom avails of them. He loves being in CSI, being in the force – it's his life. I remember before he would work even on his off days. Danny would trade off Mac's off days in exchange for extra workdays. The younger CSI would not get it but he gets kicks out of being in Mac's hair all the time.

Now, Mac makes sure that he's making most of those days off. Especially since three years ago; his life changed – our lives changed – for the better.

We've been friends since he and his late wife, Claire, moved to New York. We were next-door neighbors. They were the perfect couple: loving, understanding, and caring. Mac was happiest with her. Until 9/11 took her away from him. He never smiled the same smile again. His work became his life – rarely rested or slept. It took him a while to accept the fact that he needs to be taken care of too. I tried to be there for him as much as I can, and I think I did a pretty good job. Year after year, he learned to smile again. I admire this man very much. He said he admired me too. I don't know why, but he did. Somewhere inside me said that maybe he's ready… but for what? I don't want to be Claire's replacement. She still held his heart.

I remember working one case with Mac; he found a kid in a museum without his parents. Mac took him in, even delaying the report to child services. He played 'daddy' to that kid Sam, giving him a proper lunch before giving him candy, getting him clothed. Lindsey thought she'll never see the day. Quite frankly, me neither. Sam looked at Mac with a smile – and he smiled back. After the case, after Sam left with his parents, Mac and I were having a late dinner. He had a dopey smile pasted on his face. I asked him why and he brushed the subject off.

I know what that smile was for. He and Claire didn't have kids. Sure they tried but I think Claire was the one who gave up. After all, she was a career woman. But deep inside, I felt that Mac wanted to have a kid. I saw – we all saw – how he was with little Sam. I personally saw how his eyes lit up when I asked him if he pretended to be a super hero when he was a kid. Imagine a little Mac man!

I never brought the 'kid subject' up again. Okay, once I did. But instead of smiling, Mac had the look of longing instead. Cases with children were particularly hard for him, so he let me handle it. But he'll be breathing down my neck all the time. He's busy with his own cases but he would have time to check up on my case… or just checking up on me, if I was okay.

One of the traits I admire about Mac was being self-less. He gives everything for his loved ones, leaving just a little for himself. That's why I have appointed myself to be the one caring for him… until he tells me to quit it. (As if I would.)

Through the years, I accepted that fact that he's untouchable. From me anyway. He likes women who are motherly, who knows her way around the kitchen, smart and pretty. Okay, I have one – smart – but as for the others? Er… I was told that I was the only one who could bring a M16 in his office in rage and he'll be cool with it. And I'm better with mixing chemicals than cooking food. Never in a million years did I imagine that I'll be where I am now…

"You guys be careful, okay?" I yell over the happy chatter of kids playing in the park this wonderful Sunday morning.

"We will, Mom! Because I'm a super hewo!" my three-year-old son Michael cried back. "Come on, Daddy."

I settle myself on an empty park bench, a picnic basket on my left and my husband's bag on my right. I finally am on my maternity leave, something I was looking forward to. I can spend time with my son and that means my husband, Mac would gladly max out on his days off so he can be home with us.

Yeah, Mac Taylor. My husband. Although at work, he insisted that I still use 'Bonasera' to avoid confusion. You can't have two Detective Taylors in the same team. We have come a long way from being neighbors to being a happily married couple. We have been for five solid years now. And we have a little boy already. His name is Michael David and he's three years old.

Mac and I getting married came as a surprise for the whole lab – even for the both of us. When our 'more-than-friends' relationship blossomed, we tried to keep it under wraps, testing the deeper waters and acting as natural as before. Until maybe we realized that we have known each other enough that a long engagement wasn't necessary. So one summer day after shift, we secretly passed around invitations to our closest friends. Mostly just the people in our shift: Danny, Sheldon, Lindsey, Sid, Flack, Adam and Pino. We had some – emphasis on some – friends outside the job who came to our wedding that same afternoon. Mac was scared that they had something planned for the day already but they all attended our ceremony held at our new, recently bought house.

The next day, we went back to work. So much for a honeymoon. But he did treat me to a nice dinner at the Hilton that week! Then took me to the zoo. We both agreed that we'll enjoy our first year of marriage, just the two of us.

But trying for a kid was a bit harder for us. It took us two years before we conceived Michael. Mac was so involved during those nine months that he even used his sick leaves to be with me. It was a fairly easy pregnancy for me but labor… was hell. Mac and Danny were out on a case then where they had to go to Albany to catch the perp. I was talking on the phone with him when the contractions kicked in. The good thing was they were already on their way back.

He had Flack rush me to the hospital. Don's sweet like that, staying with me when I need somebody. It took Mac six hours to get back and we waited six more hours until I was ready to deliver. I probably broke one or two of Mac's metacarpals during the whole ordeal but it was well worth it. Michael was born exactly 8lbs.

During those times, I was thinking of taking a break from CSI. Mac gave me a green light on it so I became a stay-at-home mommy for Mike. Only when he turned three did I decide to go back to work.

Everybody in the lab loves Mike. My little one especially has a fondness for Danny. I'm not exactly sure if that's a good thing but at least we have a free babysitter. Mike would be sitting by Danny's feet playing with his trucks, blocks and army men while the Danny's typing up his report. He likes Flack too. Oftentimes, he'll be in the break room on Flack's lap playing airplanes and copters. Lindsey would amuse him by telling him stories about horses and showing him pictures of the ones she has on their ranch in Montana. He would run to Hawkes as soon as we arrive at the lab asking for a cherry-flavored Tootsie pop.

I would always ask Mac if he would want another baby. He said, "It's up to you, Stell. I mean, Mike's a handful already. Just settle back to your job and we'll talk about this again, okay?"

You know what, we never did talk about it. A few months after I went back to my old post in CSI, I got pregnant again. It was unexpected but to tell you the truth, I really wanted to have another baby. I asked Mac about it because I wasn't sure if he felt the same way as I did. I'm glad that he did. We both wanted a girl this time.

"Daddy, this way!" I could hear him say. My boys are in the sand box, pretending to be on the moon and chasing duck-shaped aliens (the stationary rides). "Zap! Take that you alien ducky!"

Mac tied a little red towel around our son's shoulders and was carrying him around like he was flying. They wore identical smiles and the same twinkle in their eyes. He waved at me and I waved back, my right hand caressing my bulging tummy. I could feel our little baby move around a bit. A few more months and there'll be another little one with us here.

"Hi Mommy!" Mike calls from Mac's shoulders. "I'm a superhero! Whee!" Mac sat him down next to me and the little guy snuggled closer. "I can fly, Mommy!"

"Oh yes, you can, baby boy," I coo to him. Mac held me closer. Being sandwiched by my two boys is the best feeling in the world. "Save the world for me, hun?"

"Yesh, I will," he said looking up with his big twinkling eyes. "But I will save you first, Mommy! And Daddy, too." I couldn't help but hold him closer and rain him with kisses. Then he jerks back, "Ooh, something's moving," he cried out putting his palms on my tummy.

"Mikey, that's someone," Mac said ruffling our son's hair. He has his chin on my shoulder. "It's your little sister in there."

"Huh? How'd she get in there?" he asked, having the same 'how did this happen' look in his eyes as his father.

I looked at my husband and just smiled. He's not even in his teen years and we were feeling very uncomfortable with the very thought of that subject. "Uhm… let's just say, Mikey that," Mac stammered, "that your Mommy and I told someone that we wanted a baby sister for you. And that guy said okay."

Still with that look, Mike asked, "But why izzit inside Mommy?"

"Well, Michael," I said. Now, he knows that he has to stop with the questions. "Uh, do you want a pretzel?" Lame, I know.

"Yes, mommy. Thank you," he said defeated – but still cute. Mac chuckled from behind me. He was caressing my tummy and it felt so good. "Daddy, save the world?"

Mike was munching on a cheese muffin on his left fist and his right hand extended in a Super Man position with his daddy swinging him around. I pretended to be scared of the butterfly flying in front of my face. My baby boy decided to play superhero again.

Finally, both of them got tired and we decided to go home. In the car, Mike was at the verge of sleeping. He said, "Mommy, I know my super name now."

"What is it, baby?" I asked caressing his brown and slightly wavy hair.

"Mac Man!" he said in a sleepy voice. And he dozed off, sucking one corner of his red 'cape'.

I look at my loving husband and then my son and down to my pregnant stomach. Mac takes my hand and gives me a kiss. "My hero," I murmur before taking a nap of my own.

27.08.06