Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own the Harry Potter series,
or the song Clowns by: t.A.T.u.
Blow a kiss, I run through air
Leave the past, find nowhere
Floating forests in the air
Clowns all around you
Clowns that only let you know
Where you let your senses go
Clowns all around you
It's a cross I need to bear
- Clowns: t.A.T.u
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My breathing was shallow, but still I ran, swiftly dodging the many trees that stood in my way. I needed to escape. I turned wildly, looking desperately for an exit. Should I encounter any of the creatures lurking in the dimly lit forest, I surely would never again see daylight.
A branch snapped to my right, but I didn't dare stop to check what might have made the noise. All of my attention was focused on running; not so much on where I was actually running to. Was I even heading in a remotely helpful direction? I slowed for a moment to check.
There were lights to my right, not much brighter than the forest, though clearly visible from quite a distance. Eagerly, I pushed through several branches, swearing as one of them drew blood from my forearm—but still I pushed on.
I knew I was getting nearer, though it seemed no closer now than it had when I first saw it. Hushed whispers came from its direction, growing louder with each step I took.
A few minutes later, the voices rang loudly in my head, though I could not make out any of the words being spoken. Closing my eyes, I strained my ears, willing them to hear more. I couldn't. I edged forward carefully, no longer in a rush to leave the forest. Not until I found out what was in the clearing, at least.
I peeked out through a gap in the large bushes and my eyes widened in shock. The thick shrubbery had concealed the entrance to a final exit to the forest, not simply a small clearing as I had thought. Beyond it was a sandy beach, completely empty- containing crystal clear water that stretched as far as the eye could see. Awed, I stepped onto the sand, taking in my surroundings.
The voices spoke once more. As clear as ever, though the words remained just as muffled. I spun around, half-expecting to see the speakers behind me, but they were not. I sighed in resignation. I wasn't completely sure I'd be happy upon discovering who the people might be, so why should I bother seeking them out?
Curiously, I wandered over to the water. From a distance I could see the trees mirrored on the smooth surface so perfectly that they could be mistaken for the real thing. I inched forward, almost fearful to see my reflection. After the dash through the forest, I could hardly look anywhere near decent. Finally, I peered over the water's edge, but drew back quickly in disbelief. That couldn't be me. My hands flew to my face, gliding smoothly over plastic. It was there. It wasn't my imagination gone wild. I looked back over the water for a second look.
The mask was primarily white, though it also contained various shades of red and blue, littered across it in no apparent pattern. It seemed eerily familiar, though I couldn't place where I had seen it before. My fingers laced the edges of the plastic monstrosity, and I tried in vain to pry it from my face.
A loud laugh came from behind me. My head snapped to the source, nearly causing me to trip over a nearby stone. Had someone been following me? A man stood quite far away, and donned black robes; a large hood covered his face.
My first thought commented on the nature of his dress. Why, the heat was sweltering, surely it wasn't practical. I hoped to God it wasn't the man's style preferences that convinced him to wear the hideous rags. My worst robes were far better than those, but I suppose not everyone can afford the quality my family was capable of. I smirked; the advantages to being a Malfoy were numerous. Still, what was the purpose of the robes? Why the hood- to conceal his identity? My head was spinning with questions, and the man was approaching.
I stood to my full height, arching my back, attempting to look imposing. The person took a few steps towards me, still laughing to himself. I took a step back, preparing to run should need be. My foot landed in shallow water. Instinctively, my hand flew to my pocket, searching for my wand. I was disappointed.
Shit, I thought angrily to myself—where the hell could it have gone? My father had warned me of this, more times than I could remember. Always leave your wand in a place you have quick access to it, because the moment you don't is when you'll need it most. This had to be the most inconvenient thing he'd ever been right about.
I spared a glance behind myself to check if my wand had fallen somewhere while I had been unaware. The water held no clue as to where it might be—just that it was nowhere close.
As I turned back, there was a flash of blue light and I was knocked off balance and fell into the water. It wasn't shallow anymore. I hung, suspended in the water for a few moments before my instinct kicked in. I squirmed, legs and arms flailing as I tried to rise to the water's surface—but swimming had never been one of my strengths. My struggling was definitely slowing the process down, but I was inevitably sinking into darkness. I relaxed for a moment, letting my fate sink in. I tried to breathe in, but that only resulted in a lungful of water. I choked and sputtered, my chest heaving as I tried to clear the water from my system.
Rolling over in the water, I heard a voice, clear as the water I laid in; each word lingered in my mind: "Remember who you are, Draco." I stared in confusion. Where was that voice coming from? It was vaguely familiar, though I couldn't recall exactly where it was from.
Remember who I am? I wondered. How can a person remember whom they are if they don't know—or never have?
My legs touched the sand. Had I sunk to the bottom that quickly? That seemed the case. A rushing sound in my ear told me different—just as I looked up, I broke through the surface of the water. The shallow water had returned, leaving me to sit on the sandy surface, trying to steady my breathing.
I looked up. The cloaked figure was only a few feet from me now. I attempted to see under his hood and discover his identity. There was nothing to be seen under it, so I directed my attention elsewhere. In his right hand, a wand was raised high—it must be him controlling the water. In his other hand he held a second wand. It was mine.
He must've seen me looking; his response was to take a few steps closer and extend his arm. Confusedly, I got to my feet and extended my own. With no signs of danger apparent, he returned my wand. I stared at the figure in disbelief.
A deep, throaty laugh emerged from under the hood as the man turned, motioning for me to follow. I did so, rather reluctantly. We were heading around the forest, along the coast of the beach.
"Where are you leading me?" I demanded haughtily, trying without success to keep my voice steady.
He laughed again before replying, "You'll see, Draco."
"Tell me who the hell you are!" I stopped in my tracks, glaring. "Or I'm not following you any further. Remove your hood." He did not comply, or even bother with an answer. He continued down the shore as if nothing had been said, leaving me where I was, and feeling like a fool.
I was about to turn and leave before realizing that there wasn't a way out of this place—that I knew of, anyway. Following the man might be my only way out; that might even have been where he was leading me. I paused before scoffing at my momentary naivety.
Though despite my wariness of the stranger, it only took another moment before I scrambled after him, trying to catch up. He did nothing as I fell back into pace beside him.
Around the next turn I could make out the silhouettes of a few people standing in a circle. I squinted in an attempt to see more. They had their backs turned to me, but they were, as the one beside me, dressed in long black robes, with raised hoods.
They obviously sensed us approaching, because without breaking formation, they stepped aside, making space for the two of us to join the circle. As we did so, I looked around in confusion. The circle comprised of seven people, not including myself, all standing with their heads lowered, saying nothing. What was the point?
One at a time, each individual's head lifted, staring intently into the middle of the circle. I looked along with them. We stood there, staring, for what seemed like ages until a swish of a cloak revealed itself in the middle. He had only been there for a moment before the circle dropped to their knees, bowing before the newcomer.
"My Lord," they murmured in reverence.
So, this was him? The terrifying Dark Lord. Beholding him in his present state was a horror. His ghost-white complexion and ruby eyes were glaring at me now, questioning why I remained standing while all the others were bowing before him. Realizing my error, I fell to the ground as well, and he looked away, satisfied.
"My faithful Death Eaters," he greeted, the corners of his mouth turned downwards in distaste, "It seems as though some of our number thought they could skip this little meeting." He counted our number carefully, "Eight. How... pitiful. When did the lack of loyalty to your master escalate to this proportion?" He paused, taking his time looking at each of us in turn. The severity of his anger was so obvious in his gaze that when he looked at me I nearly flinched back in shock, but I found myself captivated. He held my gaze for a few moments, sensing and enjoying the fear he instilled in me. After the moments that felt like hours he looked away, and the fear was replaced by a strange sense of helplessness.
I looked down in confusion. I couldn't be as helpless as he made me feel. Malfoys were above being belittled like this.
Lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed that the Dark Lord had finished his rounds. It was only when his chilling voice re-entered my ears that I came back to myself, and listened again.
"We cannot afford this if we are to succeed. Any who show signs of disloyalty amongst you will be eliminated. Any foolish mistakes like the ones you have made in the past? You will be eliminated. There is no more room for mistakes; I will tolerate them no longer. Many of you have much to be thankful that I'm showing you mercy this one time. Do not disappoint me,"
"Thank you, my Lord," they murmured in unison, before getting to their feet.
"Remove your hoods," he commanded.
All at once, the hoods were swept off their faces. In their place were plastic masks—the same style of the one that currently decorated my face. We were all the same.
The truth of these words hit me quickly. Was I like them? Just another mindless drone, obeying every command given to me by my Lord?
I'm a Malfoy, god dammit! I'm supposed to be the one in control, not the one being controlled. I had servants, girls falling over me for both my money and good looks. This was not who I am.
This isn't what I want.
In a puff of gray, the scene changed. I was still on the god-forsaken beach, atop a tall wooden stage. I looked out across my surroundings. Had the others disappeared?
I scarcely finished my thought when they dropped—literally—onto the stage. They were motionless, until a small squeaking sound to my right revealed a spotlight, which lit up the stage and sent the figures into movement.
I felt a tug on my arms, changing direction from side to side every few seconds. I went to scratch one, only to feel my hand brush a thin wire, connecting me to somewhere above. I looked up.
Marionette strings. Attached not just to me—to all of us. At the top of the wooden structure, the Dark Lord hovered in the air, his wand out, spinning it in circles while looking down at his creation. Every foul-masked person was spinning around the stage, gaining speed as they went. I gave in to the violent tugs on my arms and went along with them.
"Good, you're learning your place. You don't want this. Then you could end up like all the others. Do you remember? Maybe a demonstration is in order." His high, cruel laugh filled the air.
In five little clangs, five others fell onto the stage. Unmasked, clearly confused and afraid. The youngest was a girl of about five years, who began wailing uncontrollably. Tears poured down her pink face as she surveyed those in masks. All movement had been halted, leaving us standing, staring at the Muggles. It didn't have to be said for us to know that they were.
"Time to have some fun," Voldemort's voice boomed above us all. "Draco, if you'd do the honors. Now."
The ropes tugged on my arms, ordering me to move. I disobeyed for a few short moments, before one ferocious tug set me off balance. Upon regaining it, I found myself only meters away from the family. The little girl continued crying, her breathing uneven as she gasped for breath. Her parents tried to sooth her, but it was no good, and even they could see their battle was lost. No form of escape would be possible with their kids in tow, and unwilling to abandon them, they awaited their fate. The mother was calm as she comforted her kids. Their father stood defiantly, staring through our masks, his pride and courage boring into me. A tug on my arm raised my wand.
I couldn't do this. Was there no other option? All eyes were on me as I stood in confusion, battling my conscience. I wasn't a bloody Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake. I was a Slytherin. It was supposed to be about what would serve me best in the future. And this was it- wasn't it?
"Say the words, Draco," my Lord commanded, "or I might not be very forgiving."
Right as I opened my mouth, the voice I had heard in the ocean returned.
"You don't have to do it, Draco."
I turned my head to the left. The Weaslette? It was an inconceivable notion, yet there she was. Standing before the stage—the sole audience member to my moment of 'greatness.' The fiery temper I would have normally expected from her at a moment like this was absent. There was no sign of temper in the look she gave me. She felt sorry for me, it was clear.
She was walking around the stage to the stairs, climbed them one by one, and never did our eyes lose eye contact.
"You have a choice. You're not like them; you don't owe them anything." Her words were the fleeting burst of fresh air I was looking for—but they were lies. I had no choice. I was like them. The strings and mask proved it. She raised her wand. "The strings can't hold you here, and the mask doesn't need to stay. Your mind is the only thing standing in the way. You just need to choose."
She expected me to go with her right then. My hesitation caused a flicker in her deep brown eyes—her temper was coming through. That much was apparent. The Dark Lord took this time to intervene.
"She tells you nothing but lies, Draco. I am your master, and this is your future. Now, a little change in orders is needed. She will do instead." His voice floated into my head, the sounds wrapping around my eardrums. He was right. There was no other option. The family of Muggles disappeared with a lazy flick of my Lord's wand.
I faced the young Ginny Weasley, who looked at me so confidently. She really believed that I could be saved. It was almost comforting to know I hadn't lost everyone's good faith.
She took a step closer, opening her hand and presenting it to me. "Come with me," she whispered. "It won't all end like this. Because even if you kill me, the rest will keep fighting, and you'll have chosen the wrong side of the battle."
She wasn't lying. It was her truth—could it really be mine?
"Draco," Voldemorts voice rang, "now." My decision was made.
"Avada Kedavra."
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A/N: Well, here it is, after months of steady procrastination. You probably owe it to Emma (WishfulWhispers), as it was one of her fantastic reviews that made me sit up and think that I should probably get off my lazy arse and complete all my half-written creations.
Of course, I need to thank my lovely beta Roma (cadaverousapples) who edited the first draft of this story. She hasn't seen the finished product so any mistakes are because of me. Also, thanks to Goldie (GoldenFawkes) for looking at the finished draft of the story for any small changes that could be made before posting.
All three of you are great. =)
Please review after reading, everyone.
