Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight
"You already have everything. You have a whole life ahead of you — everything I want. And you're going to just throw it away. Can't you see that I'd trade everything I have to be you? You have the choice that I didn't have, and you're choosing wrong!"
Rosalie Hale, Eclipse
Rosalie Hale walked briskly down the street hugging herself as the rain soaked through her skin. Funny, she was supposed to be heartless. She was supposed to be perfect. She was supposed to be a vampire. She was supposed to be invincible, and maybe she was. Maybe she was all those things, but she just couldn't shake the cold seeping through her marble bones. There was just something about "this" street that had a way of making her feel almost- human. That was why she returned to it every year. "The Incident" was what she called it for years now, the way she died.
She had always wanted to be the most beautiful girl in the world, and she envied the Cullens because of their god-like beauty. A beauty she would have killed to get, funny now that is. Murder apparently was the only way to obtain it. She laughed at herself at the thought of her former self's perspective.
I was so shallow. I would've given anything to be like them, and now-
She didn't finish that thought. Finishing it only made it worse knowing that what she really wanted is no longer an option anymore. Suddenly memories were flooding into her mind replaying her unnatural existence, the existence she never should have had.
She remembered waking up to a voice that sounded like pure silk and suddenly being unnaturally aware of everything around her, the sound of talking, the light graceful footsteps, the appealing scents- but the burn; oh that treacherous, un-ignorable burn raging in the pit of her throat and before she knew it, she was crouching low on the floor to the complete opposite of where she had been previously laying.
She blinked in confusion and suddenly became afraid. 'How did I-
"Rosalie, I need you to calm down. Okay, just calm yourself and let me explain all of these changes going on inside of you." Came that same silky voice.
She scanned the room and her eyes landed on none other than Carlisle Cullen. She became even more confused. She didn't remember ever going to his house or seeing him last night at all for that matter.
Last night.
Vera's house. Curly haired baby. Walking home late.
'Royce.' Was the only word floating in her mind.
Then without warning, without mercy, the memories flooded back to her.
The mocking. How he called out to her in a slurred voice. How she so easily complied because she thought she could trust him, because she loved him. And well, she thought he loved her too. The way he always held her hand, the way he told her how beautiful she was, the way he said that she would always be the one for him. The way he promised they would have a beautiful life together. A beautiful life?
She screamed. Screamed in agony. Screamed in rage. Screamed in utter despair. Screamed in loss.
'Royce' The name unfolded in her mind and violated her. The metallic taste in her mouth. She had trusted him and he betrayed her, and not just privately but in front of his sick friends. Oh the audacity! 'How dare he!'
"HOW DARE HE!" She screamed out while pounding on the floor.
'Royce'
She felt as if she wanted to vomit but soon realized her body was not reacting that way, only her mind in pure disgust. How he so treacherously grabbed her hand and thrusted her in the middle of the group, how he so violently paraded her around like a notch on his bed post, how he –
Touched her-
Used her-
Raped her-
Beat her-
Betrayed her.
'Royce' She now screamed even louder and twisted and thrashed in pure hate and agony on the cold floor. She felt so useless, dirty, and cheap. 'A beautiful life!"
"What life!" She screamed out, no longer caring who was watching her.
Somehow she knew she was already dead. She had no heartbeat, no life running through her veins, only coldness. She banged her fist on the floor harder noticing the dents she was creating all the while screaming louder.
"How" She yelled. "How could you-" pause "Do this to me." She finally whispered brokenly.
The storm was over, but the brokenness laid in its place, unfolding, spreading, and filling the gaps. She looked up and saw Carlisle was still there and she saw sympathy in his eyes. She then closed her own eyes and bit her bottom lip in anxiety.
"What am I?" She asked slowly.
There was a silence in the air creeping its way to every corner of the room as he just stared at her. Then she knew, whatever it was, it had to been bad.
"You're a vampire." He finally said.
She stared at him incredulously. 'A vampire? Is he serious?' She continued to stare at him before scoffing. She then picked herself off the floor in an attempt to regain some of her dignity.
"Dr. Cullen, I believe you and I are both aware such fairytales do not exist. Now, I would appreciate if you would stop mocking me and tell me what I have become." She said curtly.
She noticed the heaving of his shoulders and the sympathy still very much in his eyes.
"You're serious." She said incredulously. "Look, vampires don't-
"The burning-" He stated interrupting her sentence while pointing to her, "The burning in your throat means that you need blood." He said matter-of-factly.
Immediately her hand flew to her throat and raging fire returned. In her rage, she had forgotten all about it. 'But, how would he know about the burning?' She questioned herself.
"I know this is hard for you to take in, but you feed off blood now. You're not- human anymore Rosalie." He said quietly and for some reason she believed him. After all, when she woke up there were things she did that no human could do and the fact she felt no heartbeat said everything for itself.
"Okay, so I kill humans now?" She answered confusingly.
"No, well, Edward and I don't that is. We hunt animals but ultimately the choice is yours." He said coolly. "But there is something you need to know." He said while slowly walking towards her with a mirror in hand. "Being a vampire means, your body won't change. You will never grow old." He stated while handing her the mirror.
She slowly brought it up to her face and noticed the most beautiful girl she had ever laid eyes on.
"You're frozen, Rosalie." He stated.
Suddenly the face in the mirror twisted her features in disgust. She had gotten the one thing she had ever longed for, her only desire. But the only feeling she felt as she stared at herself was loss.
A beautiful life she was never going to have.
Rosalie shivered involuntarily at the memory. Everything she ever really wanted in life was over, her life was over. She had sworn to herself that day that she would never fall in love again, never make the same mistake twice. Then Emmitt happened.
She inwardly cursed at the thought and wished she had left him in the mountains to die. She remembered feeling so alive when she saw him. He had looked just like Vera's baby, a little piece of her human life that was left.
He became her love, and slowly her heart had begun to thaw and she began to feel again. Soon trusting was not so off limits anymore and love became appealing. She never wanted to end up alone and he was there to save her from an eternity of loneliness. He was perfect, in every way. He had a perfect body that would turn on any girl, but it was more than that.
It was always more than the uncontrollable sexual tension and lust, there was an understanding; an understanding that he would never be enough and if given a choice, she would take being human over him any day but yet somehow he still managed to love her anyhow. She had only loved one man before him and their relationship never got passed his drunken rage.
Things with Emmitt were different. She remembered how their first real meeting went. She got herself dressed up really nice to get his attention, but was completely ignored. Actually, he showed absolutely no interest in her for about four months. She did everything to just get him to take a double look, after all, she was the one who saved his pathetic little life.
He always thought of her as cold, heartless bitch and would constantly remind her of it daily. After awhile, she just quit trying. She would get ready for school, go to school, come home and immediately retreat to her room. It got so bad that she barely said a word much less acknowledged his presence in the room. The two never spoke a word to each other for nearly three months.
Of course, one day that all changed. She remembered the day where everything shot itself to Hell, the beginning of her making the same mistake twice.
Rosalie stared silently out the window. Life had become so mundane and the constant remoteness she had been immersing herself in was starting to become second nature to her. She was becoming numb. And then Emmitt's head surfaced its way to the forefront of her mind. She heard a small groan from Edward's lips but ignored him. 'Don't like it, stay out then.' She thought to him.
Emmitt's head lingered but then the image began to morph and it was Vera's child she was seeing, the child she would never have, a life she could never get back.
'Some beautiful life.' She thought mockingly to herself. A small anguished laugh escaped her lips.
She tried to tune out the images but she had now opened Pandora's box and she couldn't slam the lid shut. Memories flooded back into her head and suddenly everything she had been started to feel overwhelmed her. The sadness was replaced with anger.
"Just get over it already, okay? Anyways we're home now and you need to get some self control." Edward's thick velvety voice said harshly.
The anger doubled at his words. After nearly four months of being completely ignored aside from the occasional remarks of "You're such a bitch" "You're so vain, get over yourself", when she saved his pathetic life, she was beyond caring about Emmitt.
"You know what-" She said icily staring straight into Edward's eyes. "To hell with Emmitt!" She said angrily as she opened her door, jumped out and slammed it shut.
The memories just kept flooding into her head, her parents, the way her mother brushed her hair, the way her father sang lullabies to her, her running hand in hand with her sister, and oh god- Royce.
The mocking, the beating-
And she finally let all self control go out the window. She was angry, no- she was livid. And oh how she wished she could bring Royce back from the dead to kill him all over again. She stalked to the front door and threw it open. The first thing that came to her sight was Esme's vase, Esme's precious vase. But in that moment, she could care less what it was. She just picked it up and threw it across the room.
Memories
Every fiber in her being was on end, screaming in the rawness of agony. She then picked up a chair and threw that too screaming loudly. This was all his fault! He took away the most important thing she ever wanted, life. He killed her. He killed her. And that was the only thought processing through her mind as she picked up every piece of furniture and blew holes in the walls of their precious home. 'That's right, their precious home. This is their home, not mine. This is Hell!' She thought as she screamed louder.
Memories
By now Edward and Emmitt were just staring in complete shock at her outrage. She saw them staring at her but didn't care. Actually, she didn't care about anything anymore. She was as good as dead and longed actually be put in the ground where she belonged. She wanted to die.
Memories
She then fell to floor in complete misery as the only image in her mind was Royce. She screamed and pounded on the floor twisted and thrashing with all consumed hate. She hated him. She hated him. She hated him. Then a hand was placed gently on the side of her face.
"I know you do. We all do." Came Edward's soft voice.
She stayed broken on the floor sobbing with tearless eyes. She couldn't even cry over her situation. And before she knew it, a warm figure was laying right beside her, holding her closely and fiercely to himself. She didn't even have to look to know who it was, the earthy smell gave it away.
"I would've killed the bastard for taking everything away from you." Was all Emmitt said.
That was all that ever needed to be said.
She wondered as she arrived to her destination how they both got to where they're at today. Everything was so perfect. He loved her and loved her passionately. Now though, all they ever do is fight.
She stood on the cold street where it all happened, where her life ended and turned her into this monster. The feelings came rushing back to her as if she was almost human again. Life was just so unfair. Why couldn't she have been dealt better cards?
There would always be questions.
Questions that would always go unanswered.
Suddenly she felt two warm arms embrace her from behind and a musky, earthy smell invaded her nostrils.
"I wish I could give it all back to you." Is all he says, and in that moment she feels selfish, that maybe their marriage is two part problem.
He would always give away anything for her, including her and she would always take everything away. She was selfish and hated herself for it and so desperately wanted to turn around and say- "No baby, you're enough" but that would be a lie, because he would never be enough.
She then turned around and kissed him softly.
"I'm sorry, so so sorry!" She just says over and over again as she lines his jaw with sweet kisses back to his lips.
"I know you are baby. Let's go home." He says sincerely as he wraps his arm around her waist holding her to himself.
Why couldn't Bella see what she was throwing away?
She was making the wrong choice.
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