Her heart was pounding furiously against her chest. She could not keep the tears from flowing down her cheeks. She had tried at first. Tried to blink away the tears which painfully reminded her that she was letting go of all the good things in her life. They reminded her that she did not know whether she would ever get them back. She looked after the plane which had just taken off. She watched how it became smaller and smaller until it was just a little blinking light in the faraway night sky.
"It was the right choice Ziva" she mumbled to herself, wiping away the tears. She knew that it was the right choice but saying it felt reassuring and somehow helped her to keep it all together. Tony's scent was still lingering in her nose and she knew that it would be for a long time. Somehow this didn't feel so dreadful after all.
xxx
The front door to Gibbs' house was unlocked. He smiled, some things never changed. Without hesitation Tony made his way down into the basement. He saw his boss sitting on a wooden stool, nipping at his bottle of beer and at the same time pulling up a chair without looking up once. Tony grabbed the second bottle, which was undoubtedly intended for him, and sat down.
"She called you didn't she?" He took a sip from his beer. It was a little warm but Tony was thankful for it nonetheless. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Gibbs nodding. Gibbs was calm and collected as always but Tony could feel the sadness lingering in the room. It was comforting in a strange way. Abby's sadness, McGee's sadness; they would all be genuine but he was sure they would not be as comforting.
"Ziva knows how to take care of herself."
Tony nodded. "I know." His voice was hoarse and he sounded exhausted even to his own ears but Gibbs didn't say anything. Tony silently thanked him for it.
"You know she might change while she's gone." Gibbs took another sip from his beer. Not once had he looked Tony in the eye. Out of courtesy, Tony knew that. Right now he was grateful that Gibbs didn't try to comfort him in a traditional way. His presence was comforting, his silent mourning helped and Tony knew that their relationship had reached a new level of mutual understanding. One that didn't need to be verbalized.
"She will change. She wants to change. We both know that Ziva always gets the things she wants one way or another." A small smile escaped his lips as he said it. She was the most stubborn and driven woman he knew. She always found a way to make things work. "She always gets the job done." They both laughed.
"She might not come back." Gibbs said after a short pause and for the first time looked at Tony. He didn't return the look but nooded, silently looking down at the floor. Of course there was a possibility of her not coming back again. Hell, there even was the chance he'd never even hear from her. Maybe she'd meet someone on this journey to find herself. Maybe someone would help her rediscover who she once was or create an entirely new Ziva. Still, Tony believed. He believed that she would come back and that she would come back for him. He needed to believe. He needed to focus on his hopes to move on. "She'll never be gone." He said after some time and Gibbs silent nod confirmed his belief.
"Do you want to take some time off?" Gibbs asked although he was perfectly aware of the answer.
"No boss." There was no doubt in his voice. He hadn't even thought about taking time off. It was so unlike him that the question kind of struck him as odd. It was so unlike Gibbs too.
They shared some more time together, just sitting in Gibbs' basement and drinking beer. There was no need for words as the hours went by until Tony rose to leave. He was halfway up the stairs as his boss spoke up.
"Don't be late tomorrow morning DiNozzo." A smile crept on Tony's face. He wouldn't be.
