Standing there, at the bottom of the marble stairs was a blue turkey. Said turkey is pecking at my pet Mongoose, Geraldine, who is staring glumly up at me, despair filling her eyes. I giggle and then frown at something else the turkey is doing. I can't see but as I creep closer I understand what its doing.

AND OH MY GOD, IT'S EATING CHEESE! CHEDDER CHEESE!

What respectable turkey eats cheese? You'd think it'd give them heart burn, and suddenly the turkey looks up, malice clouding its beady little eyes.

Oh no! The turkey has seen me! I better run! But not into a wall. Like last time, and the time before that, and the time…oh never mind.

I scream in pure terror. Mr Turkey is chasing me around the banana tree! (And running pretty fast for a turkey)

Save me! Someone! Anyone! The killer turkey will devour my toes.

"Edward" I scream, throwing myself into his arms.

Regardless, that he is supposed to be ignoring me, he is suddenly wearing a cape around his neck.

"FEAR NOT, INNOCENT BYSTANDER I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE EVIL, and MUDERING TURKEY!" he yells into the air with a mighty baa, but just as he gets ready to defend me…BAM! The turkey ate his toes!

He screams like a baby kangaroo and then hops away on his nose. Both I and the turkey watch him go, strangely solemn faced.

The turkey and I exchange glances and then saunter off into the living room to watch Neighbours. The turkey is gob smacked when Harold proposes to a llama using one of those gummy rings as an engagement ring, but Madge so wasn't impressed and sent a message from beyond the grave, written out in beef jerky, so Mr Turkey (now named Bob) then decides to follow his example, so Bob the Turkey gets down on one knee and proposes. I agree and we go live happily ever after in a cherry tree, living off of toe burgers. Yummy. Although I don't like the ones with nail varnish on, I feed those to Geraldine. (Who is apparently a boy, gay and in love with my chair, but then again, it's a sexy chair so I don't blame him, who wouldn't be in love with the chair?)

So anyway, we held a wedding for them, the chair was dressed I the most stunning tux.

Okay, yes I know this I utter rubbish but I have writers block and can't think of anything else other then this sort of thing. My friends are getting scared because I'm being strange and random and kind of scary. I need more time to write! It's really hard sometimes when I get writers black. Which is a lot of times.