Ok, so I had a dream last night where Sam's in despair, on the phone to John and asking about what happened to Mary. He's feeling really guilty after finding out that the Yellow-Eyed Demon came after him like that and his mum and girlfriend died because of him. It's not surprising what set it off, I was watching Salvation just before I went to bed. I know exactly how the story went. So, I decided to write out my dream. Hope you like the random crap that occurs in my subconscious mind. :D
Title: Culpability on the Deathbed
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the dream. Wow, imagine if you could sue for dreaming about a character you owned.
"It's going after families," John said, sitting at the desk. "Just like it went after us."
"Families with infants?" Sam asked, as he leant by the kitchen sink, looking down at his father.
"Yeah," John replied. "The night of the kid's six month birthday."
"I was six months old that night?" Sam asked, unknowing until now.
"Exactly six months."
"So, basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason," Sam said, scoffing in desolation. "The same way it went for me?"
Neither John, nor Dean replied to Sam. John looked away, awkwardly, not making any eye contact with Sam. "So Mom's death? Jessica? It's all coz of me?"
"We don't know that, Sam-"
"Oh, really? Coz I'd say we're pretty damn sure, Dean," Sam said, raising his voice, Dean's following very soon after.
"For the last time, what happened to them is not your fault."
"Yeah, you're right! It's not my fault, but it's my problem!"
"No, it's not your problem, it's our problem!"
~ Season 1, Episode 21 - Salvation
Sam was alone. He, Dean and John were staying in a knew motel, losing the trail of scent from the vampires they'd met in Colorado. They were pretty pissed about the death of Luther, particularly Kate and it seemed they'd wanted revenge. The boys weren't so worried. They'd lose the trail or kill them somehow, no matter how nasty those sons of bitches could be. And Sam found out how nasty they could be as he lay on the ground, blood slowly leaking from his gut and staring at the severed head of Kate on the other side of the table in front of him. She was angry as hell, jumping Sam when he was alone, ready to kill him. But Sam was a good hunter. It took a good amount of fighting. Hell, the bitch stabbed him. Yet, Sam sliced her head clean off. There was very little time for a moment of victory as Sam collapsed to the floor, white hot pain taking over.
And there he lay on his left side, staring blankly into space, able to make little movement without pain, his eyes clouded in despair. Slowly fading into sleep, trying with all his might to stay awake. He knew he needed to stay awake. Just stay awake.
John and Dean were doing research over children due to have their six month birthday. They wouldn't be back for a few hours, at least. Sam was hoping somehow, they'd turn up any minute. Dean forgot fake-id. Dad forgot his diary. But Sam knew, deep down that neither of them were that careless. His mind was all over the place and it lingered back to what his dad told him. About why his mom had to die. Why Jessica had fallen victim. He'd felt guilty, like he was to blame for the deaths of his loved ones. His mother, a woman he couldn't even remember and yet he'd loved her like a mother whether she was living or dead. The Yellow-Eyed Demon was after him and she was killed as a result. And Jessica, a girl he'd fallen in love with, who'd died because he loved her. How could you not feel guilty?
A noise woke Sam up fully, making him flinch and cry out in pain. He looked down, seeing the blood trail from under his shirt, staining onto the carpet. He soon realised an annoying tune coming from his back pocket and frowned at what it was at first. He recognised the sound as his ringtone. Someone was calling him. This was his chance to get help. He slowly reached for his phone, being careful not to damage himself even further as he reached, but hasty as he didn't want it to stop ringing. He managed to get it to his ear and he heard his Dad's voice on the other line. Sam rested, exhausted with pain and blood loss. "Hey, Sam, it's Dad," he heard. "Dean can't remember if you checked the west or east Salvation hospital, which one was it?"
Sam didn't reply. He had a tremor of pain through his stomach and he froze, taking in little breaths and trying to move as little as possible until the pain subsided. "Sam?" his dad prompted, slight apprehension in his voice.
"Dad," Sam breathed back, pained.
"Sam? What's wrong?" John said. He was driving in the Impala, Dean glancing over to him as he drove behind the wheel.
"Kate," Sam panted. "She came back."
"Dean, get back to the motel, fast" John said, hurriedly. Dean obeyed without hesitation, turning the car around. Dean was immediately anxious. It would definitely take more than thirty minutes, even with Dean driving and he didn't know what was wrong. John spoke back down the phone to Sam. "Sam, what happened?"
"She found us," Sam said with difficulty.
"What's wrong with you?" John asked hearing the rasp in Sam's voice.
Sam didn't reply immediately, he was in a lot of pain. He breathed rapidly, preparing himself to answer. "Stabbed me."
"Ok, just hang in there, Sammy, we're on our way,"
"Dad, what happened?" Dean asked, scared, but John ignored him and put his full attention on Sam.
"Where's Kate now?" John asked, hearing Dean repeat her name. He could tell Dean was scared for his brother, being kept in the dark like this but right now, Sam need John to talk to him.
"Dead," Sam said, hoarsely. His eyes and nose scrunched tight in pain, trying to deal with it and block it out.
"You're gunna be fine, son," John said. "Stay on the line, I'm right here."
Sam didn't reply. He was tired. So, so tired. If it wasn't for hearing his Dad's voice on the other end of the line, he'd probably be unconscious right now. John slightly panicked when Sam didn't reply. "Sam?"
"Dad," Sam said, still pained, "what happened?"
"What do you mean?" John asked, in a caring and fatherly way.
"That night," Sam said. "What happened?"
John instantly knew what Sam was talking about. He didn't know what to say. "Sam, don't worry yourself about it."
"But…Mom," Sam said.
"Sam," John said, a little authority in his voice. "She went in to save you. Any mother would. But…" John struggled to relive what had happened, but he knew Sam needed to know, whether he was injured or not. "She didn't stand a chance."
Sam didn't know whether the tear falling past the bridge of his nose was from his guilt of what happened to his mother or the pain from his stab wound.
John took a deep breath, knowing what Sam was thinking. "It's not your fault." Sam opened his eyes. "You're not to blame, Sammy."
"Dad, what's wrong with him?" Dean asked, desperate to know. John turned the mouthpiece of the phone away as he turned to Dean.
"Kate found us. She stabbed him," John said and turned back to the phone. Sam didn't hear John telling Dean, nor was he paying attention. He was so exhausted and fed up of the pain from the stab. He wanted to sleep. Just to rest and not feel any pain, just for a little while. He just wanted to sleep. He just wanted to…
"Sam?" John called down the phone. He got no reply. "Sammy?"
Dean looked at his dad, nervously, still keeping an eye on the road. John looked anxiously at Dean as he lowered the phone. "He's not replying. Step on it, Dean."
Dean was already going well over the speed limit but didn't care if he was speeding even further. He needed to get to his brother. And fast…Sam could be dead for all they knew.
The End
Ok, so I just felt inspired to write that for a little. I don't know what happens after this so I figured a little wonder of what would happen would make a good ending. Is Sam dead or alive? Who knows. Like the movie that ends with the bus hanging over the ledge. You never know if they make it or not. (:
Hope you enjoyed :D
