I was almost dead. ALMOST , 6 fucking letters. I wasn't sure if I've gone mental because I kept thinking straight but none of my thoughts made sense. Maybe the majority of my brain was dead and the only living part was desperately wanting to quit with itself? Nothing was important enough to think about. But could I even think properly? I've seen images. Lots of images. All blurry , moving too fast to even notice all of them. I've seen Lucas .I've even smelled him but it must have been some kind of illusion since right after that I could smell migdals and daisies. I wasn't scared even though I was surrounded by darkness. There was silence. Nothing . I wasn't even breathing. There was no ground below me, but I wasn't falling. I tried to remember what exactly happened.

There was Lucas , standing on the sidewalk and begging me not to run away again. There was noise. Noise that I couldn't label in any way. It was raining. Yes, it was raining pretty hard. I could remember my long blond hair stuck to my t-shirt. I remember the sound of cars coming through puddles. My body was cold. I had gooseflesh. I was sick of everything. Sick of Nathan making out with this girl right in front of me. Sick of what I felt , what I wanted to feel. There was no future for me. Not in Tree Hill. Not anymore.

The hospital room was full of people. They were not welcoming a newborn or saying goodbye to an old family member. They weren't even related but when they heard the news about this horrible accident that she'd come through . . . Their hearts stopped. Their feelings were mixed. Some of them hated her , because she was too perfect for the world they were living in what was obviously not her fault. Some of them loved her or maybe some were just in love with the idea of her.

Lucas looked at Jules and sighed. He was fighting with the idea of holding her hand, kissing her lips in front of Nathan , Karen , Brooke and the rest of people in the room. None of them knew they were back together. Because they were back together , weren't they? He wanted them to disappear. To leave them alone forever. But was it what she really wanted? Since he met her , she was wanting attention. Right from the start when she stepped out the car that parked in front of their school. Shey played with them , more , she played them. She didn't pose like she was shy and lost in new environment. Right from the beginning . . . she made her decisions . She seemed to make herself drawn to them.

"What is he doing?" Nathan thought. Every muscle in Lucas' body was tight , but still he seemed to be half-awake. Nathan was the first one to break the ice and hold Jules just like he meant to. He didn't notice Lucas' reaction when his fingers slipped into her hairt that hasn't been shaved. She's stayed unconcious for 4 weeks. Her heart was doing just fine but her brain was seriously first , her head was bandaged so she didn't look quite like herself. More days passed by but she was still gone.