Game: Mass Effect
Pairing: Shep/Miranda
Rating: T
Genre: Romance/Angst
Timeline: Post Mass Effect 3
A/N: I ship male Shep with just about everyone he can be shipped with in all honesty. I find that kind of funny because I can only ship Fem!Shep with Garrus (although I did romance Kaidan in the first game with her and I am rather fond of Kaidan/Fem!Shep at times). My top ship with M!Shep is Shep/Miranda however, with Shep/Tali, Shep/Liara, and Shep/Jack following shortly after. I've been thinking of doing at least a oneshot for each pairing eventually, but for now I hope you enjoy this!
Also, I will be continuing with my other ME fanfics. Just getting this out there to generate some interest!
Flawed
/1
Benign neoplasm.
Benign: of a mild type or character that does not threaten health or life; especially, not becoming cancerous.
Neoplasm: tumor.
"…While we cannot firmly attribute the cause of the benign neoplasm to the irregularity in your genetic makeup, we can confirm that the progressive damage renders you unable to conceive a child…"
She knew what the words meant. She knew their definition, origin, and how to speak them in several different languages. She knew just about everything there was to know about genetics, biology, tumors, diseases, mutations, human evolution, alien evolution…you name it, she knew it. But knowing about something and knowing how to solve something were two completely different things.
Miranda Lawson let out a frustrated scream and overturned the table in front of her, datapads, old medical texts, and a computer terminal going flying across the floor. She stood there, panting heavily and mind raging, her normally neat hair in a tangled mess as her bloodshot eyes darted around the room that served as her office. She wanted to hit something, wanted to scream some more and throw a tantrum. The calm, cold, calculating ex-Cerberus officer had finally lost her temper. And it was not pretty.
She had been designed to be perfect, to be beautiful, powerful, intelligent, gifted. And yet, for everything she was and everything she claimed to be, she couldn't fix it, didn't understand how to fix herself and it was driving her insane. She could bring someone back from the dead, but when it came to her own body she was unable to do a damn thing.
If I can save one life why can't I make a new one?
Her hands balled into fists at her sides, her legs nearly giving out as the momentary energy spike the adrenaline rush had granted her disappeared. The anger that had been burning brightly within her began to subside and she was left with a dull ache in her heart; an ache of desperation, longing, and hopelessness.
What good was her intelligence? What good was it to be the perfect specimen, the epitome of the human race, and be unable to pass on what made her so special? All creatures were born with the instinct to mate and pass on their genes, so why couldn't she? Why was she doomed to be a genetic dead end? Was it because she had been born unnaturally, created by artificial means? Because she was nearly perfect? Because her father had decided to take the role of God? Was that why she was cursed?
"Whoa…I didn't miss our anniversary or anything, did I?"
Miranda's eyes widened as a familiar voice reached her ears, her heart picking up its pace.
Shepard.
She looked up to see the Commander leaning against the arch that separated her office from the lab, surprised to see him dressed in the formal attire that Kasumi Goto had acquired for him a few years earlier. It was rather funny that he still had it, at least she thought so. The man could buy anything he wanted with the credits he had accumulated from his time in Cerberus and his service in the Reaper War, but he held on to the fashion relic stubbornly. Not that he didn't look good in it—and she rather appreciated how it complimented his natural rugged good looks—but still…If she didn't know any better, she would have said that the reason he clung to it so was because he had a crush on the thief.
"Shepard. I wasn't expecting you till Friday," she said calmly, her tone not betraying the embarrassment she felt at the state he had caught her in. Self-consciously she smoothed the front of her white uniform, hoping that she hadn't gotten any coffee stains or crumbs on it. One of those little grins of his was on his face; he was obviously amused at her attempt to cover up her distress. Oh, she could hit him.
"Yeah, I know…" Shepard said, walking in, head swiveling around as he took in the fruit of Miranda's labors over the past few days. "…Funny thing is, it's Friday."
Miranda frowned.
What? Friday? It couldn't be, could it? Last time she had checked it had been Wednesday. Was it really Friday? Where had the last two days gone? It couldn't…but then she had…but no…
She crossed her arms over her chest, raising one eyebrow as she looked at the war hero dryly. "Are you sure? This isn't another one of your jokes, is it? I'm not exactly in the mood."
"Me? Joke with you? Perish the thought," Shepard teased gently as he came up to her. Smiling, he wrapped his hands around her waist and brought her in closer, bumping his forehead against hers affectionately. "I know how you get when you're working. It's rather adorable actually."
"Watch it Shepard," Miranda said with a hint of danger in her voice, trying but failing to not let on that she was pleased with his comment. "I brought you into this world. Twice. I can take you out and make another one just like you."
Shepard laughed. "I don't doubt that you could."
"Yes, well…" Miranda gently broke his grip on her, turning around to survey the mess she had made. Sighing, she shook her head in dismay. She would have to clean up.
She stooped and began to pick up the datapads, checking each one for any sign of damage. "If it really is Friday, then I haven't bathed or slept in two days. Best to keep your distance." She paused, teeth worrying her lower lip before she continued, albeit with a more apologetic tone. "I'm sorry Shepard. I'm in no condition to go out tonight." She looked over her shoulder at him, true repentance etched onto her face. "I know you were looking forward to it, but I…I'm sorry."
"Hey, don't worry about it," he reassured her, walking over to the upturned table. He picked it up and returned it to its regular spot before bending over to grab the computer terminal. "I know you're busy, though I'm not quite sure with what."
He found the whole situation rather funny actually. Usually it was the guy forgetting things like dates and standing up the girl, but not in Miranda's case. Not that he minded or ever got mad at her; Miranda was Miranda and Miranda was nothing if not dedicated to her work. She was passionate, quick witted, intelligent, deadly, unique. He wouldn't change one iota about her and had known from the moment he had awoken on her operating table for the second time in his life—once again pulled from the jaws of death by her nimble fingers—that she was the one he wanted to be with forever.
He hadn't realized just how much he wanted—no, needed—her in his life until he'd almost lost her to that damned Cerberus assassin. He would always thank whatever gods were watching out for him that he'd had the opportunity to warn her about Kai Leng and therefore given her the chance to prepare for his attack.
"Sure wish you would tell me what it is you're doing. You never know…maybe I could help." He shot her a seductive glance. "I'm handy with more than guns."
Miranda rolled her eyes and let out a chuckle at the innuendo. "That you are Shepard, but…this is…something…" She let out a breath, her countenance darkening. "This is something I have to do by myself."
Shepard's eyes narrowed in concern. There was very little she didn't tell him and while he trusted her with his life, when she said things like that…It made him worry.
For as strong as Miranda was, she was also fragile. Pushed to be perfect from a young age, robbed of normality, blessed with beauty, gifted beyond belief, yet unable to-
"Miranda," he said suddenly, a thought dawning on him. "Please tell me that all the late nights are not because you—"
"I have to Shepard. I have to fix this," she cut in sharply. "I have to fix myself."
"But there's nothing wrong with you," Shepard said softly, walking over to her and squatting down next to where she sat. He took her hands in his and squeezed gently. "You haven't been pushing back the date on the wedding because of this, have you? Is that why you don't want to go through with it?"
The biotic shock her head, avoiding his knowing eyes. He knew how to read her so well that is was annoying at times.
"It's just…I want to have children, Shepard. Your children," she said quietly. "You deserve that much. To have your genetics passed on." She let out a bitter laugh, finally looking at him. "Just imagine what a child of the luckiest hero in the galaxy and the epitome of human evolution would be like."
"Miranda..."
"Oh! Just listen to me! Concerned with genetics! Preserving your legacy! I sound just like my father…"
"Miranda…"
"But that's not why I want to have children! I swear! I just...oh! Never mind! You probably think I'm terrible now!..."
"Miranda—"
"I can't describe why I want children so badly. Biologically it makes sense, but it's more than that. I just want to—MMF!"
Shepard's lips crushed Miranda's silencing her babblings. She let out a moan, allowing him to deepen the kiss before pressing back with just as much ferocity. No one could do this to her, make her feel this way.
Only Shepard. Kisses like there's no tomorrow.
Before either one could get more riled up then they already were, they broke apart, both breathless.
"Shepard—"
"Hey, not now, ok? I know you're not up to anything fancy but I still think you should get out and remember what the rest of the world looks like. Take your mind off things for a while. Then…then we'll talk. Deal?"
Miranda smiled. There was no point in arguing with Shepard, especially if he was right. She was going to forget what it felt like to get out and interact with human beings (in her mind, Shepard didn't count). Perhaps if she stopped thinking about her problem the solution would come to her. A watched pot never boils, as the old human saying went.
"You win. Wait here," she said, "you can clean up while I clean up."
"Are you sure you won't need…assistance?" Shepard asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Miranda snorted. "Positive."
