Title: A Lifetime
rating: pg (language)
warning: angst??
category: pure Jinter
Summary: Deb and Carter finally hash it out about their "incidents"
and Deb's true feelings about Abby!

OOC- Jinter interaction! Jinter interaction! *does little dance
around the computer* Jinter interaction!!!!!!


Allie woke up 8AM
Graduation day.
Got into a car,
And crashed along the way.

When we arrived late to the wake,
Stole the urn while they
Looked away,
And drove to the beach
'Cause I knew you'd want it
That way.

*********************************************

"John!" She ran after him,"john!!"

"Go away Deb!" he called back behind him

Deb froze in her spot,her arms hung at her side,"What did I do?"

"I don't need this,ANY of this!"

"What did I DO, John?"

Carter took a deep breath,"It's not you,Deb"

"Don't give me that shit"

"Deb"

"But it's all about Abby,right??I saved your fucking life,John"

His face dropped to the darkened ground,"I know"

************************************************
And you were standing
On the hood of the car
Singing out loud
When the sun came up.

And I know I wasn't right,
But it felt so good.
And your mother didn't mind,
Like I thought she would.
And that REM song was playing
In my mind.
And three and a half minutes
Felt like a lifetime
***************************************************
"I even forgave you for not coming to me in your time of need,even
though I came to you for support!"

He nodded slowly,"I said I was sorry"

"This isn't a friendship"

Carter looked up,startled,"Deb?"

She shook her head and continued walking to the parking structure.

"Deb!"

Deb kept walking , listening to the pounding of his feet behind her

"Deb!"

"How's it feel John?" Deb turned around to watch his face

"I don't understand"

"YOU chased after me this time." the anger slowly dissolved from
Deb's voice,"YOU were confused and scared,you didn't know what you'd
done wrong"

Carter swallowed hard

"It was wrong of me to drag Abby into this"

"Deb...."

"I don't hate her.At times I resent her,only because you give her
your full attenion" Deb turned her face to the sky

"Stop"

"Why John??" Deb crossed her arms over her chest,"So you can work
your charm and tell me from now on we're going to the best of
friends??"
*************************************************************
It felt like a lifetime

And you move like water
I could drown in you.
And I fell so deep once,
Till you pulled me through

You would tell me
"No one is allowed to be so proud
They never reach out
When they're giving up."

***************************************************************
"What do you want me to say Deb!" he cried out suddenly,making her
jump

She shook her head

"If you don't tell me,how can I make things okay??"

A tear slid down her cheek,"You should know"

"I'm sick of SAYING I'M SORRY!" Carter yelled,"Ever since I came back
from Atlanta,all I've been doing is apologizing!!"

Deb nodded

"But I'm sorry I hurt you" he said gently,"I regret Rena and spilling
my guts to Abby..it came back to haunt me by the look on your
face.But I'm sincerely sorry for causing you pain"

She closed her eyes as tears slid down her cheeks

"I should have been there for you,instead of..." Carter's voice shook

"Instead of?" Deb walked slowly towards him

"Focusing on me"

She bit her lip

"Trying to fulfill all the stuff I thought I had lost"

"Like?"

Carter shook his head violently,"No,I'm not doing this"

Deb caught his eye,"John?"

"Close intimate relationships" he looked away from her,"Friendships"

"A partner?"

He looked up at her,surprise in his eyes,"A partner"
********************************************************
And I know I wasn't right,
But it felt so good.
And your mother didn't mind,
Like I thought she would.
And that REM song was playing
In my mind.
And three and a half minutes
Felt like a lifetime

Are you sitting in the lights?
Or combing your hair again,
And talking in rhymes?
Are you sitting in the lights?

When I got home, heard the phone,
Your parents had arrived.
And your dad set his jaw
Your mom just smiled and sighed.

****************************************

"You mean like no one wanting to date a woman who gave up her child
from a one night stand for adoption?"

Carter studied her face quietly,"Deb?"

"Instead of going inwards,I reached out for a friend" Deb took a deep
breath,"But I understand why you weren't there"

"I didn't know" Carter said quietly

Deb reached out for his hand,"I didn't know you were hurting either"

"But that's how I wanted it"

"Me,too"
****************************************************
But they left soon
And I went to my room.
Played that disc that you'd given me,
And I shut my eyes
Swear I could hear the sea.

When we were standing
On the hood of your car
Singing out loud when the sun came up.

And I know I wasn't right,
But it felt so good.
And your mother didn't mind,
Like I thought she would.
And that REM song was playing
In my mind.
And three and a half minutes,
Three and a half minutes,

Felt like a lifetime.