Moron

Close your eyes and imagine. Imagine like you haven't ever before. I mean really see and feel your surroundings. Its hot… really, really hot. There is abrasive sand leaving burns across your bare arms and legs. The sun beats down on you with relentless waves indicating that its high noon. You know that its in a desert and that its most likely tragically beautiful in a lethal way, but you can't see any of it. You're blind as a bat.

"I'm certain a blindfold would have sufficed, this is highly unnecessary," I complained in the whiniest voice I could muster with my newly deepening voice.

"The Melon Lord is not impressed by your vocabulary. You'll have to better than that Sokka," Toph replied. Her fingers were held in the air in a spindly kind of way that I couldn't see. They were willing the oh-so-annoying sand grains into my eyes as an irritant. I clawed up at my face to try to furiously rub the sand from my bloodshot eyes, but it was to no avail, it could have been due to the fact that they were earth bended into my eyes.

I opened my aching eyes to see sand everywhere. I was being guided through the tan tides of the desert by a blind girl. The idea in itself wasn't comforting, but knowing that she was playing out her plot of revenge while we struggled through the dunes made it all the worse.

"Its not like I was going to peek," I insisted wanting so badly to grab Toph and force her to earthbend it out, but this desire was not feasible because of the leash like rope tied to my bound wrists. At this point I was actually wishing I could scratch my eyes out, but besides the fact that it would really sour my day, my fingers were becoming sunburned with the rest of my body and were burning and itching.

"Oh, quit running your mouth! All of this verbal vomit is hurting my ears," Toph said scornfully. "You are better seen and not heard… no pun intended." Usually I would have toppled over in laughter, but by the tone of her voice I could tell that she was dead serious.

"Are we-"

"What did I just say?" she yelled.

"Sorry," I murmured so quietly that I doubted she even heard me.

"You should be. Just remember that I believe in revenge next time and maybe after this you'll figure out that I'm pretty darn good at it," she gloated. I sighed largely and immediately regretted doing so because of the mouthful of delicious sand that I had inhaled. My mouth was dry and coated with sand. I was about ready to pass out of dehydration, and I knew she'd be happy about that. Dump Sokka's body in the desert and blame the lack of water and his inability to hold forty gallons of water.

I thought I was imagining her voice saying it, but when she repeated it three times I figured that I wasn't insane… quite yet. "Sokka, I said we're here!" she exclaimed. At first I was excited, then I remembered that here was where Toph was going to kill me, not literally of course… I think.

I dropped to my knees and grabbed a handful of sand. It sifted through my fingers as I blindly gazed up at Toph. "Where exactly is here?"

"If I told you that it wouldn't be here, would it?" she interrogated, trying desperately to confuse my already throbbing brain.

"No, 'cause we're here, you said it yourself. It doesn't matter whether you tell me where here is because we're still here, even if you vocalize where we are standing… which is here."

"Spirits Sokka, one can only hope for the day that you have nothing left to talk about," Toph chortled exasperatedly. "Sit down, Meathead," she ordered, putting a foot to my chest and pushing me backwards into the sand. After constructing a mini-prison she handed me a suspicious smelling water-bag and sat down next to me. She playfully earthbent the bars of the cage as a distraction.

"Its hot," I squeaked, with my parched tongue flailing like I was trying to pant like a saber-tooth moose-lion… ah memories.

"Yes you are," Toph muttered strictly to herself before stating, "Good."

Three Months Earlier

Frost bit at my nose, but I didn't care it was comforting almost. My furry coat was tickling my neck and my boots had become much too small over the time I was gone. I was bundled like a child in my parka. I walked through the unnaturally lively town and made it to an igloo near the sea. I called in, but when nobody answered I figured that Toph was asleep.

I pushed the fur panel aside and climbed in, first sitting aside and watching her sleep. When the snow had melted onto my backside I figured that I was already in trouble that nothing I did could make it any worse. I climbed onto the blanket next to her and snuggled up close. At first I just breathed in her scent and lied my arm across her body, but eventually my eyelids were drooping and I fell asleep next to her.

When the sun was visible through the ice blocks I woke to Toph nibbling my ear. I turned and her jade eyes stared at me contently. I kissed her and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I felt her warmth and strangely her indecision as she shared a kiss with me. I pulled back to wish her a good morning, but before I could Toph sat up and screeched.

"Tophie, are you okay?" I asked, putting my hand on her thigh… as if that would help.

"No, what did you do? I can't see!" she yelled. "I can't see the ground and I can't see through you… where the hell are we?"

"Relax, we're at the South Pole. I had to fly all night to get here, but surprise! I can introduce you to my Gran Gran, you'll like her; she's a lot like you," I explained and rubbed little circles with my thumb as if it would calm her… if I need to say it didn't.

"Great surprise Sokka! Now I'm going to have to stay in here for the entire day. I can't do anything… so I hope your happy that you destroyed my day! I'm glad you found something worse than flying…. Ugh Sokka," she complained, shoving my hand from her and scooting cautiously to the wall.

I stood up and kissed the top of her head before leaving. I shut the flap on the igloo and left for the day. I hung out with Katara and Aang for a while. We went penguin sledding like kids and I wished that Toph was there the entire time. Afterwards we went to see Father and Gran Gran. She was happy to see us, but dismayed that she wouldn't get to meet Toph as promised. After that I taught some of the little boys how to fight and go fishing. By the end of the day Toph was still good to her word.

When the night sky was filled with stars I navigated to her igloo yet again and snuck in. She hated me for sneaking when she was truly blind and nearly smacked me when I spoke.

"Toph, I came to say goodnight," I whispered. Usually that was code for a kiss goodnight, or a few, but Toph turned to my voice and sneered. Her eyes were puffy and I could tell that her cheeks were wet. I put a warm hand onto her ice cold, pale skin and wiped as many tears as I could before she swiped my hand away.

"Goodnight Sokka," she said coldly and curtly. I didn't say anything I just watched her as she sat looking pitiful and vulnerable, which had to be the reason she was so upset.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked her imploringly searching her face.

"Honestly?" she asked, smiling wryly. "Revenge."

"Excuse me?" I asked, certain that I'd heard her wrong.

"You didn't think you were getting away with this, did you? Oh, you're going down… maybe not today or tomorrow, but your going down," she hissed. It was almost playful, but not quite. I made a face that she later described as a shocked Koalaotter… apparently incredibly cute and undeniably stupid.

"How long have we been here?" I moaned. "I'm so thirsty!"

"Its only been a few minutes," Toph murmured, without actually paying any attention to me.

"What's this?" I asked, sniffing the water-bag. She laughed and looked over to me. I pointed so she knew what I was talking about, before realizing that she was blind.

"Its in a water-bag isn't it?" she inquired. I rose my eyebrows at her and reached through the bars to tickle her foot. She playfully swatted my hand.

"Sure, but that doesn't mean anything. It could be… ew, it could be anything," I continued pressing my face into the sand-blasted glass bars of my cage.

"Okay, its cactus juice," she giggled, like she was the all knowing or that she was a child that'd just pulled off an awful trick.

"Cactus juice?" I asked gaping at her. She still hadn't taken the sand from my eyes and at this point I already felt like I had drank the cactus juice because I was so delusional.

Thirsty.

Parched.

Panting.

Gasping.

Wheezing.

Suspiciously staring at girlfriend.

Suspiciously eyeing water-bag.

Grudgingly drinking.

Chugging.

Swallowing.

"Toph," I said. She bent the sand out of my eyes and for the first time in what felt like forever I could actually see. After that point I can't remember much. I don't really know what she did with me, but I was insane. I lifted my lip and eyebrow in confusion. It couldn't be.

"Toph, how are you floating?" she giggled a tinkling laugh and smiled at me. "You're like an angel. I love you," I drunkenly said. There was silence for a minute and just as my sanity was slipping away I could swear she muttered something.

"Moron."