Katy Perry had a drink of her delicious glass of red coloured wine and looked out over her view of the seaside from the balcony of her luxurious Hamptons mansion. It was good to be Katy Perry.
But what was that she could see in distance? The lights of the beach house. That beach house hadn't had lights on for years... not since...
At the beach house the realtor, which is what American boys and girls call estate agents, handed over the keys.
"Normally I wouldn't do this at night, but I do like dramatic tension, and massive amounts of money," he said, in his despicable estate agent voice.
"Thanks," said the beautiful red lipped blonde who was wearing a tight little skirt as you know she does.
"It's weird, because you look just like..." said the realtor.
"I get that a lot," said the woman who didn't even know about her future husband who writes weird supposedly ironic fan-fiction about her yet.
"Are you sure..." he said before she cut him off
"No. It's Becky."
'Becky' had been planning this for a long time. After leaving her bags at the beach house she went to visit her best friend, Sheeran Ross, the billion dollar entrepreneur who'd made a social network for weirdly successful ginger men.
"Right, T... I mean Becky, what's our next move?"
"Our next move is well in hand" said 'Becky' who had planned her scheme expertly and to be honest only needed to talk to stupid Sheeran as a bit of an exposition device.
"I bet I could help though" said the idiot, playing with his 15 collars that he wore because you know he always overeggs the pudding, "Maybe I could make you a Lego house?"
'Becky' sighed. She didn't need any more Lego houses. She'd had to buy another actual real house just to keep all the Lego houses that idiot Sheeran kept sending her.
"What if I did all a biro tattoo on my arm of a My Little Pony who says Katy Perry smells of a fart?"
Tay... I mean 'Becky' sighed. But at least tonight she would show Katy Perry that there was one person you never cross.
It was the night of Katy Perry's Lollipops and Tigers party, the biggest night of the Hamptons season and everything was perfect. Everyone was dressed like a lollipop and/or a tiger and it was so nice you wish you could be all a rich person and go to such a party where you don't even have to bring a bottle of very cheap wine and peel the price off so people don't know.
"Everyone!" said Katy Perry, "Here is my big moment!" she was about to reveal a very important thing that to be honest the writer of this couldn't even be bothered to imagine for essentially it is just unnecessary set-up I don't know maybe she is announcing an amazing film about a pony that she has made in secret.
But just at that moment everything was ruined! As 38 Russell Brand impersonators ran in.
"Apples and pears on me bawbags, I expect. Heroins! Don't vote! Pip pip!" said one of the Russell Brand impersonators who had not really done all that much research.
The party was completely spoiled. 'Becky' laughed and laughed and laughed... but it was not Becky! It was Taylor Swift!
"Oh no Taylor Swift you done a Revenge on me!" said Katy Perry with sad fireworks streaming out of her boobs.
"No! I have done... Better Than Revenge!" said Taylor Swift referencing her song that you know!
"But WHO HAS SHOT ME?" said Sheeran, in an amazing twist, before he died as that was not part of the twist he was definitely dead and could never come back.
TO BE... CONTINUED?
