Title – Trish Stratus: Secret Santa (Story 1 of 'The Right Guy' series)

Rating – PG-13

Summary – When Trish's secret santa goes above and beyond, she starts to wonder if what she has is really what she wants.

Characters - The Raw roster, plus Jessie from Tough Enough 2 (as a production assistant/general stagehand type deal)

Disclaimer – I don't own the superstars mentioned in this story. Their bodies are owned by themselves and their souls are owned by Vince McMahon.

Note - I use a mixture of real and fake names in this story. If names are obviously fake - ie The Hurricane or Test, I use their real names, otherwise I use their stage names - eg Molly, Victoria, etc. I think it makes it easier to identify people that way. Also, it's part kayfabe and part not, in that I'm writing about the characters and not the real people, but the shows/storylines and the characters' real lives are still separate, ie the matches are "real" but the storylines (eg Jericho and Trish) are "scripted". This allows me to make it so that the divas mostly get along and it's how I'll be writing the rest of this series. Clear as mud? Cool.

"Oh, the Secret Santa policy. Started last year because Eric Bischoff was desperate to pretend he actually had friends," Trish muttered under her breath as she watched that damn butt-licker Jonathan Coachman select a paper from the bucket. "Please God don't let him choose me."

Lita smirked at her. "Since when did you become so cynical? It's Christmas, Trish."

Trish shook her head. "It's not Christmas, it's November and this is a bad idea. If we wanted to get each other gifts we'd just do it. Then at least we'd be giving stuff to people we actually know. You're lucky you missed out last year, Li. It's tragic. The sleazy smirk on Hunter's face as Stacy opened up this disgusting little set of novelty breasts marked with the words 'get some today'." Trish shuddered at the memory of Stacy's face, not to mention Drew's.

"Novelty breasts, doesn't seem like Hunter's style," Lita commented. "If he really cared you'd think he'd have given her a gift voucher so she could have had the implants done for real."

"Twenty dollar limit," Trish sighed. "Not only is Bischoff a sad, lonely man, he's also cheap."

"So what happened with Stacy? Andrew wasn't happy, I'll bet."

"No way," Trish confirmed. "If you thought things got ugly when Hunter stole Stephanie from him, you should have seen it this time. Uncomfortable isn't the word."

Lita cocked her head, her hazel eyes filled with amusement. "See, unlike you, I think I might have liked to see that."

"Trust me, be glad you weren't there. My secret santa was RVD. I got a pair of socks. And not just socks, Christmas socks. I guess he was high when he went shopping."

Lita laughed. "You're mean. Christmas socks - I think that's sweet. And besides, what do you buy the woman who has everything?"

Trish just rolled her eyes as the bucket reached her. "Just please don't let me get Hunter or Drew." She picked out a slip of paper and passed the bucket on to Lita.

For the first time during the entire production meeting she actually smiled as she read the name on her paper. Bubba Ray Dudley. Same name as last year. Actually, maybe this secret santa thing wasn't such a bad idea. If it hadn't been for last year's ballot, Trish and Bubba might never have gotten together in the first place. Having drawn Bubba's name, Trish pondered for weeks about what to get for him. Nothing had seemed quite right and definitely nothing under the twenty dollar limit. Eventually she'd realized something - she had a crush on Bubba Ray and the reason no gift seemed good enough was because the thing she really wanted to give him was herself. In the end she'd taken a huge chance and when it came time to exchange gifts, Bubba was the only one not to receive a thing. His present came that night when Trish showed up at his hotel room door wearing just a robe and some expensive (well over twenty dollars) lingerie. The rest was history. Eleven months down the track and they were still together, despite the fact that the heady days of new love had disappeared along with last winter's snows. Now they were well and truly coupled. They were a pair, a partnership. It was reliable and comfortable and with good sex on tap whenever she wanted it, who could complain?

"So, who'd you get?" Lita pried, glancing over Trish's shoulder before she could cover the name. "Oh, too easy!" the redhead protested, showing Trish her paper. Stacy Keibler. "What am I going to get her?"

Trish just shrugged. "Anything but breasts."

* * * *

Four days later and the Raw crew was back on the road. After having worked off the cobwebs in the ring with Lita, Trish made her way backstage.

"Hey beautiful," called a deep voice with a New York accent.

Trish broke into a grin at the sight of her boyfriend leaning up against the wall next to the divas' locker room. "Hey. Been waiting long?"

"Naw." Bubba leaned down to brush his lips over hers. "Just missed you, is that so wrong?"

Trish giggled. A year together and he could still be completely sweet. She played the cool modern woman and arched her eyebrows at him. "Didn't I see you like a couple of hours ago?"

Bubba shrugged. "Any guy with a woman as hot as you's gotta keep an eye on her."

Trish's sculpted eyebrow arched even further. "You know that's sexist."

"Yeah? Well you're sex-y," Bubba replied simply, drawing her into his arms again. "But you know what? I just remembered 'bout this secret santa deal. If we get a chance tomorrow you wanna hit the mall and pick something out?"

Trish blinked and thought quickly. "Actually, I already promised Lita me and her would go." She paused, noticing the disappointed look on Bubba's face. "You can come too, if you want."

"Go shopping with the girls?" Bubba cried. "I don't think so."

"Oh, and why not?" Trish asked, offended.

"Simple, Trish. I go shopping alone, I'm done in thirty minutes. When you and me go, it takes around two hours, but put you with another girl and it's gonna take all day, not to mention tire us all out so by the time we get to the house show tomorrow night we're dead on our feet. It's not gonna happen like that, Trish."

"Okay, grump," Trish nodded. "Just me and Lita then. But so you know, a lot of things in life aren't all about how quick you can do them."

"Don't I know," Bubba smirked.

"And I'm not sure I'm going to like my Christmas presents this year if it only took you half an hour to pick them out," Trish added.

"Oh, don't worry 'bout that," Bubba promised. "When you know what you want, it don't take long."

Trish grinned. "Bubba, it took you two years, and even then I had to do the work for you."

"Hey, I had to open the door," Bubba protested.

"Yeah," Trish nodded. "And I'm glad you did." She gave him a quick peck on the lips. "I'll see you after. I'd better go get changed. Trish Stratus does not wear gym pants to the ring."

She squeezed his hands, then released them to walk into the women's locker room. "Hey Li, we're going secret santa shopping tomorrow," she announced, heading over to her things.

"Cool," Lita replied simply, not even looking up from fixing her makeup.

"Oh, Trish!" Molly cried. "I was waiting for you to get here. Someone left a gift addressed to you."

"Really?" Trish frowned, taking the small package and card from Molly. She skimmed the card, looking for the sender's name. "It's from my secret santa. Did you see who left it?"

"No," the small brunette replied. "There was no one here when I arrived. Just the gift."

"Hmm," Trish murmured, undoing the gold wrapping to find a small jewelry box. She lifted the lid and there was a pair of earrings, long and thin with tiny crystals like droplets of rain hanging from them.

"They're beautiful," Lita called from over her shoulder. "I hope my secret santa gives me something half as good."

Stacy snorted. "I'll be happy with anything but what I got last year. I hate this secret santa thing."

"Hey, isn't the gift exchange date December 15th?" Victoria piped up.

"It says something about that in the note," Trish told them, before reading it out. "'Trish, I know this is early, but I saw it at a market and thought you might like it and I didn't want to lose it over the next few weeks. Merry Christmas, Trish. Your Secret Santa.'"

"So any idea who it is?" Lita asked her.

"No," Trish shook her head. "Could be anyone, but whoever it is has great taste. They're gorgeous!"

"Must be a woman," Terri called. "No man I know has an eye for beauty like that."

"No, it's a guy," Gail Kim argued. "It came early. It's gotta be a guy."

Trish left them all to speculate as she tried on the earrings. She hoped that her secret santa would ultimately reveal himself (or herself) at the official gift change, but whatever happened, these gorgeous earrings sure beat a pair of Christmas socks!

* * * *

"Hey Lita," Trish said listlessly as she opened her hotel room door the next day to find her friend waiting to go shopping. "I'm going!" she called over her shoulder before stepping into the hallway.

"Something wrong?" Lita asked her as they started for the elevators.

Trish gave an angry shake of her head. "It's this secret santa thing. I should never have showed Bubba the earrings. Apparently there's some kind of unwritten guy rule that says you can't buy jewelry for someone else's girlfriend."

A smile crept onto Lita's lips. "He's jealous?"

"Very," Trish confirmed. "He doesn't even want me to wear the earrings, so I can't because it upsets him, which really sucks because they're gorgeous."

"So wear them when he's not looking," Lita suggested.

"I am," Trish announced, pulling the box from her purse and using the elevator's mirrored walls to help her put them in.

"How does he even know they're from a guy?" Lita asked.

"He doesn't," Trish replied. "He's assuming."

"Ass-uming," Lita repeated, drawing out the first syllable. "Well, let him. It's good he's jealous. Means he'll get you something even better for Christmas just to out-do the secret santa. Men are predictable like that."

"Yeah, maybe. I just wish I knew who it was. If it turned out to be a woman, he'd get off my case and I could wear the earrings whenever I wanted. Maybe he'd even tell me to my face they look good on me instead of flying off the handle about how they must have cost over the twenty-dollar limit."

"Well, let's figure it out," Lita suggested. "First of all, the note said the earrings came from a market. How many men do you know who'd actually shop at a market, unless their wife or girlfriend dragged them along?"

"Rico?" Trish shrugged.

"Rico's gay, so if it is him, you don't have a problem," Lita pointed out.

"Not true," Trish argued. "Straight men feel threatened by gay men, so we have a new problem instead. But I think it has to be a guy. He said he hoped I'd like the earrings, not that they'd look great on me. See what I mean?"

"Yeah," Lita mused. "If only there was some way to figure out who it was before December 15th. . .then you could find out it was Eric Bischoff and you wouldn't want to wear the earrings anyway."

"Funny," Trish muttered. "But you're right. I need to find out who this secret santa is."

* * * *

"Any ideas, girls?" Trish asked, after having shared her predicament with more or less all the Raw divas.

"Why does it matter?" Ivory asked her. "You let a man control you for one minute, you got problems, girl. Men are good for sex and sex alone and they're not even so great at that!"

Trish sighed, turning away from Ivory. "Any other ideas?"

"You could ask Bischoff," Molly announced. "I heard him telling Coach that the draw this year worked even better than last year, so that must mean he knows who drew who."

"Great," Stacy muttered. "I got the breasts last year. Who bets this year I get a penis or something?"

"We're not talking about your private life, Stacy," Gail stated acidly.

"Like you can talk," Stacy retorted. "Who is it this week, Gail? King and JR?"

"No, actually it's Conway and Dupree," Gail replied simply. "Dupree's a better screw, but Conway gives good head, so it works."

Lita raised her eyebrows. "If you're so into that kind of thing, maybe you should move over to SmackDown. I mean, they do have the World's Greatest Tag Team over there."

"And so have I," Gail announced, continuing when she was greeted with blank looks. "Had them, I mean. Trish, if you want to find out something, why don't you just ask me? Men can not keep their mouths shut when they want sex and anything you want to know is yours."

"You really think one of your toys is gonna know who my secret santa is?" Trish asked skeptically.

"Trish, one of Gail's toys could be your secret santa," Lita pointed out.

"Okay," Trish nodded. "Gail, if you think you can find out, go for it."

"I don't think I can, I know I can," Gail replied. "Come in!" she shouted as someone knocked at the door.

In walked Jessie, her head bowed. "Hi, Trish, someone gave me this package to give to you."

"Thanks," Trish smiled.

"Bye guys," Jessie said quickly, darting from the room.

Trish look down at the slightly larger package in her hands. "Weird."

"Maybe Bubba's trying to make up," Lita shrugged.

"Stranger things have happened," Trish agreed, opening the card and beginning to read. "Let me take that back. Stranger things haven't happened."

"What's it say?" Lita prompted.

"'Trish. When I look at you I lose track of time. I thought maybe you could keep it for me. Merry Christmas. Your Secret Santa.'"

"Hmm, I think your secret santa has just become your secret admirer," Molly announced.

Gail rolled her eyes. "What, is this high school? Let me guess, he gave you a watch."

Trish undid the packaging and sure enough, there was a watch - a funky silver Fossil watch.

"Uh, Trish, that costs a lot more than twenty dollars," Terri announced.

"Try seventy," Lita added.

Gail rolled her eyes again. "I'm gonna nip this in the bud right now. Trish, you want to know who your secret santa is? I'm going to find out for you."

And with that, she left the room.

"Or you could just ask Jessie who handed her the package," Molly suggested.

"Yeah, I think I like that way better," Trish nodded. "Not quite as nasty. Wish me luck."

* * * *

Trish finally tracked Jessie down to a corner just inside the entry door. The girl was trying to look inconspicuous as she shouted into a cell phone. Trish waved in front of her face and she hastily ended the call.

"Look, I'm hanging up on you. Bye." She frowned warily up at Trish. "Do they need me again? It's my break time."

"No," Trish assured her. "I just wanted to ask you something. Who gave you that package to give to me?"

Jessie paused. "I really don't know," she admitted. "It's been crazy tonight. Nick had the day off and they forgot to replace him and it feels like we're all doing double or triple duty. I was trying to pass around final schedules when suddenly I have this package in my hand and it's addressed to you. I'm sorry,but I have absolutely no idea how it got there."

Trish gave a frustrated sigh. "You don't remember anything? Who was around at the time?"

"Just the usual guys," Jessie shrugged. "No wrestlers."

Trish nodded. "And you production people don't do the secret santa thing?"

"No, we do our own," Jessie told her. "Was that what it was? A secret santa present?"

"Yeah, only it was a little too expensive to be a secret santa thing," Trish explained. "Listen, if you remember anything, can you let me know?"

"Sure," Jessie nodded. "I guess I'll get back to fighting with my boyfriend now."

"Well, you don't have to call him," Trish pointed out.

Jessie broke into a smile. "You're right. I don't." And with that, she put her cell phone away.

* * * *