Thanks to Kate yet again for being such a great and efficient beta *hug* I love you! I'm going to dedicate this one to all my fellow Spuffies ;)

Buffy felt numb. Her Mom had passed away not long ago. She felt no pain at all, just a numbness that had crept over her like some sort of disease. She was terribly worried that something was wrong with her.

Buffy sat on the couch staring into space. Her baby sister was upstairs crying endlessly. Dawn wouldn't speak a word to anyone since she had broken down, after seeing her mother's body in the morgue. Whenever she went to check on her, Dawn would stare at her morosely, let out a devastated sob and bury her face in her pillow. She refused to go to school and barely ate anything.

No matter how hard she tried, Buffy couldn't get Dawn to eat or get out of the day-after-day funk she was in. All her friends had tried to talk to her, but after an hour of no response, they had trudged back down the stairs, hanging their heads in defeat.

The only person who hadn't tried was Spike.

He hadn't been around much lately and she suspected that the bleached blond, toothless Vampire was trying to keep a respectful distance. Buffy didn't want to deal with him right now, but Dawn was undeniably attached to him. She sighed and trudged up the stairs to her room. She got changed into a pair of dark-blue baggy shorts and a light-blue camisole top. She walked down the hall to the bathroom, cleaned her teeth and splashed cold water on her face. She looked up at her reflection in the mirror. Dark shadows surrounded her eyes and she realised that she hadn't slept in days.

As she walked back down the hall, she noticed that Dawn's sobs had subsided. She paused at her sister's door and carefully opened it. Her sister had fallen asleep fully clothed amongst a pile of photos, a frown still on her face. Tear tracks marred the skin on her cheeks.

Buffy stealthily gathered up the photographs and placed them in a neat pile on the night stand. She then carefully stripped her sister of her clothing and pulled a purple cotton night-dress over her head.

Gathering Dawn into her arms, she got into the bed. She held her tightly as she began to whimper in her sleep. Buffy softly stroked her hair and the noise subsided. The calming motion, having soothed her sister, stopped as Buffy succumbed to her tiredness and fell into a dreamless sleep.

Buffy awoke early after only a few hours of sleep. She moved quietly out of Dawn's bed and went into her own room to get dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans and a plain purple t-shirt. She twisted her hair up into a loose bun, then set about to the task of cleaning the house.

Dawn had stopped crying and she came downstairs to watch TV. Though she still refused to eat anything or speak a word.

Buffy was getting increasingly worried about her. She had an idea of what could snap her sister out of it, but the execution of it would have to wait until nightfall.

She spent the rest of the day watching TV with Dawn, trying to engage her in conversations and looking at the clock, willing it to be later in the day. At last the sun descended bellow the horizon and nightfall came. "Dawn I'm going out for a little while" she called out, there was no response. "Is that OK? Will you be all right here on your own?" Still no acknowledgement. Buffy sighed (a thing she had started doing a lot lately) and left the house. She walked briskly through the cemetery. For some strange reason, she was nervous about seeing him again. Ever since he had declared his love for her (by chaining her to a wall no less) she had felt extremely awkward around him.

She often questioned why she had rejected him. He was funny (though she would never admit it to him), kind to her sister, strong, completely in love with her and drop dead gorgeous. The problem wasn't that she didn't have any feelings for him. It was that she was worried about what her friends would think of her if she and Spike became an item.

She pondered this thought in her head and before she knew it, she was standing right outside his crypt.

She opened the heavy stone door and walked calmly into his dwelling. "Spike, are you in here?" she called out into the gloomy darkness of the crypt. There was no reply. She walked further into the room, but didn't see any sign of him.

"Maybe he's downstairs," she thought to herself. She climbed down the ladder leading to the underground section of his home. A few candles gave light to the large cavern. She looked around and didn't notice him at first until her eyes fell on the bed. He was asleep, apparently wearing nothing at all.

She walked slowly over to the bed "Spike wake up!" she called softly. He didn't stir. "Spike!" she tried again with a bit more volume. He slept like... well, the dead. She laughed inwardly as that thought occurred to her.

She knelt on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on his arm. 'Ooh nice,' she thought at the feel of the hard muscles under her hand. She gently shook him. He moved suddenly. She jumped and lost her balance, tumbling onto the bed next to him.

'Uh oh. not good,' she thought as she felt him wrap his arms around her and bury his face into her neck. He nuzzled at her neck. 'OK maybe not so bad after all...'

She felt a little thrill go through her 'Don't be silly Buffy,' she thought as she looked down at his handsome face. He looked really cute when he was asleep. 'He's probably not even thinking about you.' She started to shift him off of her gently. He was quite heavy and she found it hard to do so from her awkward position.

"Buffy!" he moaned and hugged her to him tighter.

She froze at the sound of her name and smiled in self-satisfaction. 'Hmm so he was thinking about me.'

After several attempts at trying to get away, she gave up.

"Spike!" she said loudly, "can you wake up?" She smacked him firmly on the arm. He whimpered and curled up to the side, releasing her from his grasp. 'OK, slightly better off now, still need to wake him up though.'

She spotted a glass of water next to his bed. She picked it up, looked at it thoughtfully for a moment, then threw the entire contents over his face.

"ARGH!!!"

He woke with a jolt and sat up spluttering. "Bloody Hell woman! What did you have to go and do that for? 'Specially as I was having such a nice dream about..." he looked up at her, "er.. never mind."

She noticed that he was blushing slightly. She ignored it however.

"Spike I need your help. Will you help me?"

He contemplated her for a moment "Yep! Let's go" he jumped up and began to get dressed. Buffy quickly averted her eyes and cleared her throat "Er... don't you want to know what I want your help with?" she asked.

"'Course." he replied "Tell me on the way. I'd do anything for you Kitten. You know you got a willing slave."

It was her turn to blush. "So. What kind of demon is it?" he asked.

"Actually this is about Dawn," she informed him.

He stopped buckling his belt and looked up at her with concern "Nibblet? What about her?"

"I'll explain on the way... I don't want to leave her alone any longer than necessary." "Why do you think she'll listen to me?" he asked as they made their way up the stairs.

Buffy pondered this remark. "Personally I have no idea why she likes you, but I know that she thinks of you as... well, as one of her best friends."

"Have you tried her other friends?" he looked concerned. "I mean, are you sure I'm the right person for her to be talking to?"

"Spike! You and I both know that she hasn't got any other friends," she hissed angrily as they came to a stop outside Dawn's bedroom.

"Don't know why," he whispered back "My Nibblet is a bloody nice person, you'd think people would consider themselves lucky to hang out with her."

She took a deep breath "it's because of me," she said sadly.

"That's ridiculous Slay-"

She cut him off. "I know it's because of my reputation. People have heard about the things I did, they're worried that Dawn's the same.... I once heard some lady warning her daughter not to talk to Dawn incase she got her into the 'bad crowd'... poor Dawnie. She doesn't deserve that. It's not her fault that I'm The Slayer"

"It's not your fault either Luv," he said softly.

She smiled weakly. "I used to wish for a normal life, it was what I wanted more than anything in the whole world."

"What changed?" he asked, Interested.

"I got a taste of normal," she told him, "and you know what? Normal is overrated. I think some people need to be normal, to fit in, to be happy. But I know that I need more than that, I've realised that being The Slayer is who I am. I can't run from it, it's what makes me, me. I have to embrace it... does that make any sense to you? I guess it's hard to explain."

He looked down at her with awe, she was so amazing, never in his 121 years of existence had he felt such strong emotions for anyone. He ached to reach out and touch her, press his lips against hers. She was strong in so many ways but also fragile. He wanted to hold her, comfort her and protect her from the cruelties of the world. He didn't want anyone to damage this amazing, incredible woman's spirit.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah Luv, I think I know what you mean."

She gave him a sad smile. Now he felt heart-wrenching sorrow. Here was the most beautiful woman in the world, turning to him to try and comfort her devastated sister because of the death of their mother. Who was there to look after her? She shouldn't have to go through that alone, but here she was, with no-one to support her. Her father had abandoned her and now her mother was gone too. She had to look after her younger sister. A responsibility that she had put above all else. He hated that she was in pain. He just wanted to take her in his arms and kiss the hurt away.

She glanced up at him and saw many emotions in his eyes, mostly she saw the love, love for her, an extremely powerful love that radiated from him and made her heart suddenly pound and ache. She was amazed by the look of unquestionable devotion and admiration that shone from him. It made her knees weak and her pulse race. She couldn't bring herself to look away from his turbulent blue eyes.

"If there is ever anything you need from me, no matter how small and inadequate it may seem. don't hesitate to ask. Luv, I want you to promise me," Spike said, his voice breaking slightly with his emotional request. She managed to tear her gaze from his concerned one and stare down at the floor.

"I promise," she mumbled, embarrassed by his request. "Oh. and Spike?"

"Yes Slayer?"

"Thank you."

He gave her a small nod. She left him outside her sister's room. "If you need me, I'll be downstairs," she called over her shoulder.

He stood facing Dawn's bedroom door.

"You can do this Spike. Buffy's counting on you." He took a deep breath, rapped once on the door, and softly slipped into Dawn's room.

Dawn was sitting on the edge of the bed, shoulders hunched, apparently staring off into space. Spike walked over to her and sat down next to her. Without turning to look at him, she leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and wrapped an arm round her thin shoulders. "Platelet, talk to me? Your sister is very worried about you."

Dawn started to sob into his shoulder. "Nibblet. I know it hurts, I've seen many people I love die in my life time and it never really gets easier."

She buried her face into his chest. He tightened his arm around her and rocked her slowly. "Buffy told me you haven't been eating?"

"Oh Spike! I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I feel like if I stop looking at pictures and thinking about her, I'll never remember her the way she deserves to be remembered. I'm worried that I'll forget her and I don't want her to go un-remembered!"

"Everyone goes through this, Pet. Eventually all the things that need to be remembered find their place in your heart. So a person is never really gone. Your Mum will always be with you."

"But... she was all I had."

"Nonsense. What about Buffy? And me? And the Scoobies? And..."

She interrupted him. "The gang only put up with me because I'm Buffy's sister. Buffy only puts up with me because it's her job to protect the Key."

"Don't be silly Bit! Buffy loves you, and even if that wasn't true, you still have me." He shifted her onto his lap and put both of his arms around her, hugging her to him tightly. "I love you."

"Really? Do you mean that?"

"'Course I do. If you weren't around, I'd have to play poker by myself and tell myself stories."

She gave a small smile. He did the same, glad that he was able to cheer her up even a little bit. Then his expression changed back to serious.

"I know you miss Joyce. So do I. She was a brilliant woman and was always there for me when I needed to talk. But you need to start moving on Platelet, people go through this every day, and I'm not saying that they're feeling what you're feeling right now. I know that loss feels different for different people. You have to remember that you're not the only one in pain. You're sister is hurtin' a lot more than she's letting on."

"She is?" Dawn considered this. "But she acts like nothing has changed. Like it's just a normal thing."

"Buffy is a very special person. She was given all these powers and the most important job there is, to protect the world. She grew up fast, but she still leaned on your Mum. Joyce supported her and helped her in any way that she could. Now Buffy knows that she has to find a way to earn money and look after you when she's never had to look after anyone other than herself before. You're growing up and thinking about how you're going to go out and make your mark on the world. Buffy's responsibilities prevent her from that. She must be finding it hard and rather overwhelming to be without Joyce. You need to look after each other."

"Oh! I never thought of it that way," Dawn said thoughtfully. "Poor Buffy. We should help her if we can."

"Your Sis also told me that she's been able to obtain full guardianship of you, on the condition that you both have monthly interviews and every couple of weeks a social worker who comes to check that the house is in order."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked.

"Well you see Bit. If a social worker decides to make a surprise visit and notices that you haven't been eating properly, Buffy may not be seen fit to take care of you, and I don't want my Poker partner taken away now do I?"

"OK Spike. I'll start eating again....we must find a way to make things easier for Buffy...I can't...I can't lose her too," she said, determined. He placed a light kiss on her forehead.

"And we will Sweetbit!" He passed her a tissue from her night stand. She wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and blew her nose. She stood up with a determined look on her face, offered her hand to Spike and when he took it, helped him up. Without letting go of his hand she led him downstairs.

"Buffy!?" she called out.

"Dawnie?" Buffy came out of the kitchen. "You're talking again!" she hurried over to her sister and wrapped her in a big hug. Spike stood to the side watching the scene with a satisfied smile on his face. "Spike." Buffy released her sister. "Thank you."

She gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

"Wow! Well I guess we've finally answered the question of whether or not vampires can blush," Dawn said with a mischievous smile on her face. Buffy turned to the beet red vampire who had a slightly dazed expression on his face.

"I'm gonna order some pizza, and Dawnie, you wanna watch a few movies?" Buffy paused and looked up at Spike "You're welcome to join us, if you want."

He snapped out of the daze, and cleared his throat. "I'd, uh, love to."