Barely Breathing: A Songfiction From the untold view of Ms. Macey McHenry.

Based off of Breathe (2 am) by Anna Nalick. I suggest listening to the song while you read it.


My eyes were glued to the ceiling as my heart ached with only the thought of him. I'd never really been in love, although I'd actually thought I had. But I guess I never knew how much a person could change.

I glanced over to the small alarm clock on my bedside table.

The little red numbers glowed bright through the darkness of my room.

1:59 am, it read.

I couldn't believe myself. How did I let all that happen?

I was a Gallagher girl—not to mention the fact that I was also the daughter of a world famous senator!

I got sloppy. I totally screwed up.

And now . . . I really didn't know what to do.

I looked back to my clock. A single tear fell down my cheek.

2:00 am.

I picked up my phone, dialing Cam. I needed her help.

2 am and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake.

Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?

I don't love him, Winter(s) just wasn't my season.

Winters.

Preston Winters.

Everything had happened so fast.

And I guess I just needed some help.

I guess he just wasn't the one.

"Cam? . . . Can you meet me somewhere?"

"Macey? Are you Okay?"

She sounded exhausted.

But was I okay? I didn't know if I could answer that.

"Sure," Cammie started, "Where?"

"I'll meet you near that coffee shop on 24th."

"See you in a bit," she said.

"Cam?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah?" she responded.

"You're the best."

"Love you, Mace. See ya soon."

"Love you, Cams," I whispered.

And with that, I hung up.

I rolled out of bed and, as quietly as I could, changed out of my pajamas.

I slipped on my jacket, pulled my hair back, and slid open my second story window, praying my parents would hear me, as I climbed out of the fortress they called home.

I rappelled down the rain gutter and landed softly on the grass. I made my way to the coffee shop slowly in the darkness. So far, so good.

I reached the shop within minutes, only to find Cam waiting, inside.

The glow of the sign illuminated my face and read: 24 Hour Coffee Shop—24 Flavors—on 24th street.

I opened the door and took my seat next to Cam.

"Hey, Mace . . . What's up?"

"Cam . . . me . . . and then . . . Preston . . .and like . . .it just . . . happened . . . we were at a party . . . and drunk . . . and it's just—"

She cut me off.

"It's okay, Macey. Bex told me."

How Bex had known? . . . I had no clue.

My palms were sweating. And suddenly, it felt way too hot in here.

"So . . ." she began, "Are you . . . ya know?"

I nodded. Yeah, I was . . . well, prego, as they say.

And I seriously didn't know what to do about it . . .

I was supposed to return to my final semester at Gallagher in less than a week . . .

Senior year . . .

Graduation . . .

"I think I know what to do," she said slowly, her eyes filling up with tears. We stood up and went outside, slowly making our way to the hospital.

We finally arrived, parked the car, and got out.

Yeah, we walk through the doors, so accusing, their eyes.

Like they have any right at all to criticize—hypocrites,

you're all here for the very same reason.

"Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable.

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button, girl.

There was no I way I could fix what had happened. No going back. No second chances.

And it seemed as if this was the only other solution. . . to put my life back in order . . . well, as back in order as a Gallagher girl's life could ever be . . .

I could work through this. I just needed to relax.

So cradle your head in your hands.

And breathe, just breathe. Oh breathe, just breathe.

May, he turned 21 on the base at fort bliss.

"Just a day," he said down to the flask in his fist,

"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."

Ever since our fathers had lost the election, Preston had started all the drinking. He was a few years older than me. So he had just turned 21.

Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,

but my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles.

Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

He texted me a while ago, telling me about how they had put him on restraint from alcohol, so he said he was doing better.

But he didn't even ask about me.

I thought he had loved me.

I guess I thought wrong.

I'd eventually just . . . get over him.

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable.

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button, boys.

So cradle your head in your hands.

And breathe, just breathe. Oh breathe, just breathe.

There's a light at each end of this tunnel.

We shout "cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out.

and these mistakes you make, you'll just make them again if you only try turning around.

I was stick in the middle of a total suckfest.

There was goodness on the outside. And I didn't know if I could ever get out. And I could never redo it. Any of it. Ever.

2am and I'm still awake writing a song.

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to.

2am and I'm still here in the hospital . . .

Waiting . . .

Committing this all to memory.

I thought that maybe if I got it all out . . . then maybe . . .

Just maybe I could feel . . . better.

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd 'cause

these words are my diary screaming out loud and

I know that you'll use them however you want to.

I was so embarrassed.

What if someone else. . . on the outside . . . found out?

But you can't jump the track we're like cars on a cable

and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button now,

so sing it if you understand. And breathe, just breathe.

In and out.

Oh breathe, just breathe.

Oh breathe, just breathe. And breathe, just breathe.

"Macey McHenry?" a young nurse called, "The doctor will see you now."

Just relax Macey . . . and everything will be fine . . .


A/N: yayyyy songfiction-y-ness. just to letcha peoples know, i am going to continue this story but its not gonna be a songfic. you'll see what happens.

review. :)