Christian opened the door of the flat, Syed holding on to the back of his coat. The intimacy of that one small thing filled Christian with emotion. He led the way. This was what he'd wanted for so long. Syed was here. With him.

"I choose you Christian"

The words were still playing in Christian's head. Words he'd begun to think he would never hear. Syed had reached for his face, in the street, in full view of his parents. It had been such a small thing and yet it said everything. Christian had let go at that moment, stopped resisting, closed his eyes and let Syed back into his heart. But then, had he ever really managed to shut Syed out? The truth was that however much he'd tried, he had never loved Syed any less or been able to diminish the longing for this day to come.

When they got into the flat it was as if they were both suddenly shy of each other. There was awkwardness, as if to suddenly fall on each other at that moment was too much, but what else was there? Both of them felt as if some inner wound had been miraculously healed although they could not have put it into words. Christian moved to fill the kettle. They were finally here. So much had happened. Both had been on a journey. They were both different because of it, because of each other. Christian knew he would never be able to look at Syed enough, touch him enough.

"You want something to drink?" he said pointlessly.

But drinking wasn't on either of their minds. They had been living half lives, both stranded in a desert of longing. The only thirst they had was for each other.

Syed looked at him.

"No."

He smiled, looked Christian full in the face as if he too would never get enough of the looking. Christian saw how different he looked today. He seemed calm and sure, coming back into his own. He was not the tormented Syed of recent months. Heart beating, his whole body shaking with his need, Christian stepped forward, reaching for Syed's hand and put it to his face, taking them back to the moment in the street. He closed his eyes for a minute and then wrapping his arm around Syed's back he pulled him in closer still.

"Christian….." Syed breathed.

Nothing compared to this. This was a place that felt like home to them both. They began to kiss. Gently at first, with great tenderness, with deep love, drinking in the feel of each other. It had been so long. Christian moved his hand from Syed's face to the back of his head and into his hair, his desire shooting through him, his body aching with the sweetness of it. Then their kisses became more passionate, tongues' thrusting into each others mouths, body's coming alive with overwhelming sensation. Syed was so lithe; everything about him had movement and grace. Christian's body was hard and urgent, driving Syed wild with desire. They pulled at each others clothes, needing to be naked. to feel skin against skin. Neither tried to slow things down. Their passion had no brakes. It erupted like some wild thing finally bursting from its chains. Their hands ran over and over each other. There was nothing but each other. The only sounds were Syed's low pitched moans of pleasure and desire and Christian almost growling as he held Syed's writhing body against his own. They licked and sucked and stroked until the need to fuck had become almost painful. Syed wanted Christian inside him and Christian was so hard when he finally penetrated, Syed shouted out. Neither could get enough. Syed was on his back and Christian lifting his body easily to his own, one hand buried in his hair, pushed deep, Syed urging him on, holding the back of his head and never breaking eye contact. Looking at each other like that while they were so raw in their connection made the feelings even more acute. Then Christian was coming in great shuddering waves, calling out and moaning so much it brought Syed instantly to the point of ecstasy. The moment seemed to go on and on until both closed their eyes with the intensity of it.

They lay after, legs touching. Both needed to breathe. Still neither of them spoke. Syed looked at Christian and saw that his eyes were closed and his face wet with silent tears and Syed felt himself moved to the same. Christian was so strong, so proud; it always left Syed feeling undone when he saw how vulnerable Christian was to him. He too, could have wept when he thought of what it had taken to get here, the thought that he might have lost this man he loved so much, that he may even now have lost his family. But he felt that if he started he might never stop and so he held it back. He moved to Christian, and murmuring his love, kissed him, stroking his back and pulling Christian against him until passion ignited again. This time they took things slowly, savouring every moment.

"I love you Christian, I love you so much. I always loved you you know, I just couldn't… I didn't …."

"Shhhh It's okay. You're here now. that's all that matters to me. All the rest …it's gone, done."

Syed lent over, stroking Christian's face, kissing his neck and Christian let him take the lead. Lying back, eyes closed, Syed licking and sucking at his nipples, stroking and massaging his cock, Christian allowed Syed to make love to him, slowly and sensually. Syed ran his mouth and hands over every contour of Christian's body, his hands appreciating the beauty of him, his mouth loving the taste of him.

"Christian, I'm going to make you come"

Syed lifted himself and lay on top of Christian and then gently and slowly slid up and down the length of Christian's erection with his own. They looked at each other, their faces so close, seeing the effect of the sex in each other's eyes. It was Syed who began calling out first and then Christian was with him. Christian had always been with him.