He Is Not Real

But Glozelle stopped to stab his own King dead where he lay: "That's for your insult this morning," he whispered as the blade went home.

- Prince Caspian, C.S. Lewis

"That's for your insult this morning," hisses Glozelle as he smiles vengefully. That added blow by that traitor, that backstabber – it will finish me, I know. Bugles blow and the armies cry, both positioned for battle. They charge.

Theblooddoesnotstopflowing.

The battle continues around me, without me. My men – now they are the men of those lizards Glozelle and Sopespian – charge at the terrible, strange creatures we Telmarines thought our ancestors had wiped out long ago. Swords clash and arrows fly. The Narnians have received reinforcements by air – great winged creatures that swoop down at the terrified men. I see that dastardly Glozelle falling before the so-called High King. He can fight, that Peter, even though he is only a boy. Under such cowardly generals and inferior conditions Telmar – will – fall.

Thebattlefadesbeforemyeyes.

Telmarines are men who believe in their own strength, not by any god or spirit. It is foolish to rely on the power of unseen beings, whose existence one can never be sure of. Telmarines trust only their eyes and fists. We have always refused to acknowledge the existence of the creatures of Old Narnia – Talking Beasts, nymphs, dryads, fauns, centaurs… yet they are the very same creatures attacking us now. That part of the old myths have been proved true, and proved us wrong. What about the others? The central legend of them all, of Aslan?

Itisgettinghardtobreathe.

That fool of a nephew Caspian heads a haphazard army who swear allegiance to Aslan. They say he is a Talking Lion who is the son of some Emperor-over-the-sea. They even claim he defeated some White Witch, hundreds of years ago, and came alive after he was killed. Absurd. Any sane person knows that the dead are dead. They remain dead. And so will I, when I draw my last breath. Aslan is not real. He cannot be.

Myendisnear.

What is beyond death? Happiness? Eternity? Judgement? Or just plain darkness? No one knows. But I will know soon, for death comes swiftly. Telmarine folklore has always maintained that one crumbles to dust, into nothingness, when one's life concludes. The idea does not settle well with me. How can I, a great King, end in oblivion, forgotten by the world? I rebel against the notion. But there is yet another myth in Narnia that says those who depart from life are welcomed in Aslan's Country. That blasted Lion again. He is not real. He cannot be.

Deathbeckonscloserandlullsmetosleep.

When I close my eyes for the last time and wake, who will I see? Will it be Aslan? Or nothingness? I would choose endless void over an eternity with a dangerous beast. Lions are not gentle and kind, as they claim Aslan is. Aslan is not real. He cannot be. He does not exist.

AndMirazisnomore.