Sequel to 'What she would have wanted.' Spike returns from LA, he is
dispirited and finds it hard to cope with looking after Dawn and Anne.
Spike awoke with a jolt. He sat up in her bed. His bed, he corrected
himself. He sighed deeply and climbed out. He automatically went through
his nightly routine of comforting Anne and settling her back to sleep,
because she always awoke crying at the same time each night.
He loved his daughter with all his heart, she was his pride and joy. But sometimes he couldn't bear to look at her. She reminded him too much of Buffy.
She had white-blonde curly hair, she had the bluest eyes and the cutest dimples. She was beautiful. The most perfect baby. Spike was proud that she was his daughter and under different circumstances would have loved to show her off to anyone that would look.
Giles had helped Spike obtain a marriage certificate and a will saying that he would be Dawn's guardian. That way, Spike had full custody of his daughter, Dawn and the house (which was left to Dawn).
Dawn helped in any way that she could, though Spike insisted that he was perfectly capable of looking after 'his girls.'
He was trying his best, really he was. But he couldn't seem to function properly without her. She was always on his mind, he constantly mourned her. He was prepared to go and sit on her grave and wait for the sun to take away his life, and he would have if it wasn't for Anne.
As he climbed back into her... his bed, a blinding white flash lit up the room and the sound of crackling energy filled the air.
"Bloody Hell!" He leapt back out of the bed and turned to face whatever it was.
"William The Bloody." A deep voice resounded from a tall heavily built man, he wore some sort of armour and carried a long silver staff. He had a gold symbol on his forehead. He reminded Spike of that guy on that TV show where those people from the army jump through a ring and get sent to other planets.
"I have a proposition for you."
"Right down to business then is it?" Spike snarked, after getting over the initial shock.
"You have been given a gift from the Powers That Be."
"Is that right? And what is this gift that I'll be getting?"
"Your grief shall end. The Slayer of Vampires shall be returned to this plane of existence."
Spike couldn't believe his ears. "I get Buffy back?" he asked incredulously.
"Indeed. But you have to be willing to make a trade."
"What could I possibly have that I wouldn't be willing to trade?" he asked excitedly. "Let's get on with it." He rubbed his hands together.
"Very well. Your daughter shall be of sufficient value."
Spike froze. His heart sank. Why did that have to be the price? He thought of how he would feel if Anne was dead. It would be the same pain as he was feeling now. He was silent for a few minutes.
"I would give anything," he said, voice low and even, "except my daughter." He hung his head in sadness at the hopeless situation.
"That is too bad. I shall inform the Powers of your decision." The Messenger turned to leave.
"Wait!" Spike called out.
He turned back around.
"Would my life be 'of sufficient value'?"
"Indeed it would. Is that your decision? You give your life for the Slayer's?"
"It is," Spike said softly.
"Very well then we sh-"
"Wait!" Spike interrupted again.
"Can I say goodbye to my daughter first?"
He got a curt nod of consent.
Spike went into Anne's room and lifted her out of her cot. She opened her eyes sleepily but surprisingly didn't make a sound.
He kissed her on the forehead. She grabbed onto one of his fingers.
"I love you sweetheart, but Daddy's got to go away. I hope you always know that I love you very much. I wish there was someway to stay with you, but you need your Mum."
He placed her back in her cot and tucked her in. He gave her one last look.
"Goodbye cutie."
When he left the room, he wiped the tears from his eyes.
"OK I'm ready," he told the messenger.
"Close your eyes," he was instructed.
Spike complied without hesitation.
An eternity seemed to pass. Spike wondered if Hell was just the mindlessness of having to keep your eyes shut for all time.
"You may now open your eyes," boomed the messenger.
Spike opened his eyes and stared in awe at the vision on the floor in front of him.
"Buffy?"
Her eyes fluttered open.
"Spike?" she murmured.
He sank to his knees in front of her. He pulled her into his arms and wept into her hair.
"Oh God! I thought I'd lost you forever. I tried to be strong for Anne and for Dawn, but I couldn't do this without you."
She looked up at him with concern. "Spike, what's going on? You're acting like I died or something."
"You did Kitten, and I wished every minute that I was with you. But I kept my promise, to look after Anne."
"H-how long?" she asked in shock.
"127 days yesterday, 128 today, but today doesn't count does it?" Spike said.
She clung to him like a lifeline, like he was the only thing keeping her from having a full blown panic attack.
He stroked her hair soothingly. "Easy Kitten. Breathe. Just breathe," he instructed.
Buffy struggled to control her breathing. As soon as she got it in control, she looked up at Spike.
"I don't remember."
"Don't remember what Love?" He was worried that she wouldn't remember the last year, that they had finally come together and shared their love.
"I don't remember death, or an afterlife, or anything about what happened to me." She looked at Spike questioningly.
"Well, do you remember finding me and Cordelia in the basement of The Hyperion?" He continued at her nod. "Well, Angel wasn't himself, he threw you into a wall, Cordy staked him, I went to help you up, but you had a pole through your stomach, a fatal wound. You died in my arms."
He stared at the ground. "And a part of me died with you."
She looked deeply into his eyes. She was startled to see that he was crying. "Spike?"
"It just hurt so much, I love you so much."
She wiped away his tears gently with the pads of her thumbs. She took one of his hands in hers and placed it on her chest, over her heart.
"I'm here now, everything's OK, we're together, everything's OK," she whispered. She lightly brushed her lips over his. "I love you."
"I love you."
"Why did I come back?"
"I asked the Powers to trade my life for yours."
"Then why..."
"Why am I still here? I don't know."
There was yet another blinding flash.
"I have been instructed to inform you that you passed the test the Powers set for you. You put both the Slayer and your daughter's lives before your own. You now get the Slayer back, no catch at all and you owe us nothing. Enjoy your gift, vampire."
"Well I guess that settles that," Buffy said brightly.
He intertwined his fingers with hers.
"Buffy...before, I didn't get the chance to tell you...that I got my soul back. For you."
Buffy didn't know what to say. "Um...what...what does that mean?"
"Love, it doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything, except that I feel emotions stronger that I did before. I've dealt with my guilt at one hundred plus years of wreaking havoc throughout the world. I've also come to grips with my feelings for you. If I loved you without the soul, which I did, I loved you to the capacity that a vampire can love, but it's nothing compared to what I feel for you now. It fills me and burns in my very soul. I had the soul when I came back, and it didn't make a difference then, the only difference is what's in my heart."
"Spike..." She took a deep breath. "Can we make this work?"
"If anyone can Kitten, it's us." He kissed her again, more deeply this time.
"Now, you've got a little girl who I'm sure will be very pleased to see her Mummy again, and another who will be glad to see her sister."
They both got on with their lives, always together, always very much in love. It wasn't easy, but they managed to pass every hurdle that got in their way. Never was there a pair as strong as The Slayer and Her Vampire. The End
He loved his daughter with all his heart, she was his pride and joy. But sometimes he couldn't bear to look at her. She reminded him too much of Buffy.
She had white-blonde curly hair, she had the bluest eyes and the cutest dimples. She was beautiful. The most perfect baby. Spike was proud that she was his daughter and under different circumstances would have loved to show her off to anyone that would look.
Giles had helped Spike obtain a marriage certificate and a will saying that he would be Dawn's guardian. That way, Spike had full custody of his daughter, Dawn and the house (which was left to Dawn).
Dawn helped in any way that she could, though Spike insisted that he was perfectly capable of looking after 'his girls.'
He was trying his best, really he was. But he couldn't seem to function properly without her. She was always on his mind, he constantly mourned her. He was prepared to go and sit on her grave and wait for the sun to take away his life, and he would have if it wasn't for Anne.
As he climbed back into her... his bed, a blinding white flash lit up the room and the sound of crackling energy filled the air.
"Bloody Hell!" He leapt back out of the bed and turned to face whatever it was.
"William The Bloody." A deep voice resounded from a tall heavily built man, he wore some sort of armour and carried a long silver staff. He had a gold symbol on his forehead. He reminded Spike of that guy on that TV show where those people from the army jump through a ring and get sent to other planets.
"I have a proposition for you."
"Right down to business then is it?" Spike snarked, after getting over the initial shock.
"You have been given a gift from the Powers That Be."
"Is that right? And what is this gift that I'll be getting?"
"Your grief shall end. The Slayer of Vampires shall be returned to this plane of existence."
Spike couldn't believe his ears. "I get Buffy back?" he asked incredulously.
"Indeed. But you have to be willing to make a trade."
"What could I possibly have that I wouldn't be willing to trade?" he asked excitedly. "Let's get on with it." He rubbed his hands together.
"Very well. Your daughter shall be of sufficient value."
Spike froze. His heart sank. Why did that have to be the price? He thought of how he would feel if Anne was dead. It would be the same pain as he was feeling now. He was silent for a few minutes.
"I would give anything," he said, voice low and even, "except my daughter." He hung his head in sadness at the hopeless situation.
"That is too bad. I shall inform the Powers of your decision." The Messenger turned to leave.
"Wait!" Spike called out.
He turned back around.
"Would my life be 'of sufficient value'?"
"Indeed it would. Is that your decision? You give your life for the Slayer's?"
"It is," Spike said softly.
"Very well then we sh-"
"Wait!" Spike interrupted again.
"Can I say goodbye to my daughter first?"
He got a curt nod of consent.
Spike went into Anne's room and lifted her out of her cot. She opened her eyes sleepily but surprisingly didn't make a sound.
He kissed her on the forehead. She grabbed onto one of his fingers.
"I love you sweetheart, but Daddy's got to go away. I hope you always know that I love you very much. I wish there was someway to stay with you, but you need your Mum."
He placed her back in her cot and tucked her in. He gave her one last look.
"Goodbye cutie."
When he left the room, he wiped the tears from his eyes.
"OK I'm ready," he told the messenger.
"Close your eyes," he was instructed.
Spike complied without hesitation.
An eternity seemed to pass. Spike wondered if Hell was just the mindlessness of having to keep your eyes shut for all time.
"You may now open your eyes," boomed the messenger.
Spike opened his eyes and stared in awe at the vision on the floor in front of him.
"Buffy?"
Her eyes fluttered open.
"Spike?" she murmured.
He sank to his knees in front of her. He pulled her into his arms and wept into her hair.
"Oh God! I thought I'd lost you forever. I tried to be strong for Anne and for Dawn, but I couldn't do this without you."
She looked up at him with concern. "Spike, what's going on? You're acting like I died or something."
"You did Kitten, and I wished every minute that I was with you. But I kept my promise, to look after Anne."
"H-how long?" she asked in shock.
"127 days yesterday, 128 today, but today doesn't count does it?" Spike said.
She clung to him like a lifeline, like he was the only thing keeping her from having a full blown panic attack.
He stroked her hair soothingly. "Easy Kitten. Breathe. Just breathe," he instructed.
Buffy struggled to control her breathing. As soon as she got it in control, she looked up at Spike.
"I don't remember."
"Don't remember what Love?" He was worried that she wouldn't remember the last year, that they had finally come together and shared their love.
"I don't remember death, or an afterlife, or anything about what happened to me." She looked at Spike questioningly.
"Well, do you remember finding me and Cordelia in the basement of The Hyperion?" He continued at her nod. "Well, Angel wasn't himself, he threw you into a wall, Cordy staked him, I went to help you up, but you had a pole through your stomach, a fatal wound. You died in my arms."
He stared at the ground. "And a part of me died with you."
She looked deeply into his eyes. She was startled to see that he was crying. "Spike?"
"It just hurt so much, I love you so much."
She wiped away his tears gently with the pads of her thumbs. She took one of his hands in hers and placed it on her chest, over her heart.
"I'm here now, everything's OK, we're together, everything's OK," she whispered. She lightly brushed her lips over his. "I love you."
"I love you."
"Why did I come back?"
"I asked the Powers to trade my life for yours."
"Then why..."
"Why am I still here? I don't know."
There was yet another blinding flash.
"I have been instructed to inform you that you passed the test the Powers set for you. You put both the Slayer and your daughter's lives before your own. You now get the Slayer back, no catch at all and you owe us nothing. Enjoy your gift, vampire."
"Well I guess that settles that," Buffy said brightly.
He intertwined his fingers with hers.
"Buffy...before, I didn't get the chance to tell you...that I got my soul back. For you."
Buffy didn't know what to say. "Um...what...what does that mean?"
"Love, it doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything, except that I feel emotions stronger that I did before. I've dealt with my guilt at one hundred plus years of wreaking havoc throughout the world. I've also come to grips with my feelings for you. If I loved you without the soul, which I did, I loved you to the capacity that a vampire can love, but it's nothing compared to what I feel for you now. It fills me and burns in my very soul. I had the soul when I came back, and it didn't make a difference then, the only difference is what's in my heart."
"Spike..." She took a deep breath. "Can we make this work?"
"If anyone can Kitten, it's us." He kissed her again, more deeply this time.
"Now, you've got a little girl who I'm sure will be very pleased to see her Mummy again, and another who will be glad to see her sister."
They both got on with their lives, always together, always very much in love. It wasn't easy, but they managed to pass every hurdle that got in their way. Never was there a pair as strong as The Slayer and Her Vampire. The End
