Author's Note: Written for the Valentine's Day fic challenge on the "Tsukimine Shrine" community on Live Journal. Reviews are more than welcome...please let me know what you think.
It was the perfect picture of domestic bliss. The night before Valentine's Day, and Sakura was at just the perfect age to learn about the holiday and give her first gifts. Fujitaka bent over the stove, watching his little girl stir the contents of the saucepan on the front burner. "Otou-san, my arm is getting tired."
"Just a little bit more," he said, smiling indulgently. "I'll bring the bowl of cherries closer for you. The chocolate is almost right for dipping."
"Really?" Her green eyes opened wide, and I couldn't hold back the smile at her wide-eyed innocence. "We're almost ready?"
"Yes. It's just hot enough, and melted just right." He turned around quickly, grabbed the small bowl, and returned to her quickly, protectively.
Neither of them saw me as I watched from the doorway, just enjoying the moment. I suppose I didn't really want to be seen. It was a father-daughter moment, and I didn't want to intrude.
With child-like enthusiasm, she immediately reached for one, almost dropping the wooden spoon she'd been using.
"Wait, wait. We need the cookie sheet first."
"The flowers!" This time she did drop the spoon, causing a little bit of chocolate to splatter on the counter. I covered my face with my hand, politely hiding my smile. I thought it was cute really, but I wasn't the one who would have to clean it up. How many times had I been lectured that it wasn't nice to delight in someone else's misery, after all?
He wiped up the spilled chocolate before it could cool and become too difficult to wipe up. At the same time she was racing across the room to the other side of the counter where a cookie sheet rested on the table. That's when I saw the sugared cherry blossom petals. So, that was the plan.
She raced past me, barely looking at me, but not really noticing me. She was so intent on the task at hand that I doubted anything would have caught her attention. I was content to just watch anyway, not needing to be included in this. I just wanted to see what they were doing.
"Are they still in their shapes, Sakura?"
She nodded, though she reached over to nudge a petal back into its five-pointed design.
"Take a cherry by the stem, dip it in the chocolate, swirl it around a little...there's a good girl." He grabbed a clean spoon and held it under the now dripping candy. "Place the cherry in the middle of one of the 'flowers', and you've got your first one finished!"
"I did it!" she cried happily.
He patted her on the top of her head proudly and they went on to the next one. He didn't have to talk her through this one, but he hovered over her carefully, following her motions while trying to hold back and instill her with the confidence that she could do it herself. After she did three of them perfectly they both relaxed, ready to accept that this was something she could do.
"Otou-san?"
"Hmmm...yes?"
"Sensei told us that girls give chocolates to boys on Valentine's Day."
"That's right."
"Why?"
"It's to let the guys in your life know that you care about them."
She chewed cutely on her bottom lip in thought. "I can't give chocolate to a girl, if she's my friend?"
"Do you have someone in mind?"
She nodded. "The girl who sits next to me is very nice. She said she'd give me chocolates forever and ever because she's my friend. I can give her a chocolate, right?"
"I suppose, at your age, that's just fine."
I stifled another laugh. It was such a cute little conversation for them to be having, especially since Sakura had no way of knowing why he had hesitated over her innocent question.
"Do I need to give one to Onii-chan? He's mean!"
I felt a pang, but I just had to wait and see what would happen. He was wise, he'd think of something to tell her. They paused a moment in their confection making. He kneeled before her and looked her in the eye. "Sometimes that's how big brothers show that they care. It's not very fun, but you'd feel even worse if he just ignored you all the time."
She looked skeptical. "I would?"
"Well, imagine if he didn't give you anything for White Day. You'd be horribly disappointed, right?"
"Yeah. But, he won't eat my chocolate anyway! He'll say I ruined it because I'm a monster, and monsters can't cook!"
"He'll eat it," he assured her kindly. "Then he'll see that you can cook, because these will be delicious."
She beamed triumphantly. I sighed silently in relief. Disaster averted.
They returned to the chocolates, stirring what was left in the pan since it had been allowed to sit for a bit. Soon they were finished, and Sakura looked down into the pan. "There's still more in there!"
"I bought candy molds for what's left," he assured her, producing them with a flourish.
"Hurray! You think of everything, Otou-san!"
He laughed even as he carefully prepared the chocolates. When the molds were filled and the lot was set aside to cool, they still stood there, talking for a bit longer.
"Who is that one for?" she asked him, pointing to the largest of the chocolates.
"That one is for Okaa-san," he said.
I swallowed, hard, around a lump I suddenly found in my throat.
"Otou-san!" she chided. "You're a boy! You can't give chocolates on Valentine's Day!"
He pretended surprise. "You're right! How silly of me. What if Okaa-san gives it to me, and I can eat it? Then I'll give her an extra special gift on White Day."
Her eyes flickered from his face to the picture on the counter that overlooked their activity. I swear she glanced at me as well, and I held perfectly still. Please, let her not see me. Not now, not like this. "Okaa-san is dead, right?"
"That's right, sweetheart. Her memory is still alive though, so I will give her presents every year, and I will smile for her every day."
"Onii-chan talks to her sometimes, and I think she's there, but I can't see her."
"I can't either, but that doesn't mean she's not there. I don't know if she is or not, but when I think that she's watching over us and keeping us safe I feel happy."
"Me too," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist in a sudden and crushing hug. He bent over and kissed the top of her head softly and for the quickest flash of a moment I thought I saw sorrow and loneliness in his eyes. When he straightened though, he was smiling again.
I wanted to cry from joy and sorrow at the same time. We had such a wonderful family, and being touched by tragedy had made the family somehow stronger. They were my family....
"Time to wash up, Sakura. It's almost bedtime, and you have chocolate in your hair."
"Okay!" she called out in her shrill, little-girl voice. She was immediately all smiles, and she ran out of the room at top speed, racing past me without a backward glance.
Once she was gone his eyes fell on the photograph. His smile was still there, but it was softer and tempered with a longing he would not show the children. "I miss you so much," he whispered. "I'm lucky for every moment, but I still wish...."
What he wished remained within his heart. That was fine. I moved closer, wishing I could touch him and let him know I was still here. "Fujitaka," I breathed his name like a blessing. I cried the tears he would not because of that promise I had asked of him. I'd asked him to always smile, but seeing him like this made my heart ache.
I brushed a kiss upon his cheek, but he could not even feel it.
Or could he?
His smile grew and his hand came up to his cheek. He did not see me, he looked right through me, but I wondered if on some level he knew I was there, watching over them. "Maybe, some day...."
"Happy Valentine's Day," he said as he walked from the room and shut off the lights.
