A/N: This is a one-shot based on Lindsay's flashback from Chapter 4 of my other story "Cheer Up Danny" (CUD). It's basically the details of Danny and Lindsay's first time together after the shooting. Set sometime around Epilogue - probably just before because Danny still has no feeling in his legs at this point. It isn't necessary to read CUD in order to understand this story, but being a shameless self-promoter, I would encourage you to read it if you haven't already ;)
Thank you so much to Brinchen86 for the idea! She wanted me to expand on Lindsay's flashback, which never occurred to me. So, thanks lady!
Note: Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were. And unless I become Queen of the Universe and Grand Mistress of everything, they're never going to be. *Le Sigh*.
Danny sat on the bed listening to his wife sing a sweet lullaby to their little girl, coaxing her into sleep. He had been trying to read a book, but he had things on his mind and although his eyes passed over the words on the page, they stubbornly refused to register in his brain.
He missed his wife, the closeness that they had shared up until about one month ago. He wanted her to know that even though he couldn't feel anything below the waist that she was still desired. He had a sneaking suspicion that she was trying to avoid him in the bedroom, not sure how to act or what to do. He knew that she also still had some reservations about her post-pregnancy body. She had taken to getting changed in the bathroom or in the dark. She had started to do other things in the bathroom too. He knew that she meant well, that she didn't want to make him feel obligated or feel left out because there would be no release for him if they started something. But he didn't care. He felt a growing distance between them and it needed to end now. Someone had to address the elephant in the room.
He laid the book on his lap and looked up as Lindsay finished singing. He heard the door to Lucy's bedroom close softly and the quiet footsteps of Lindsay as she padded up the hall to their bedroom.
She smiled at him as she entered the bedroom and walked across the room to stand beside him.
"I'm just going to have a shower, babe," she said, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
It was now or never, he thought to himself. As Lindsay turned to head to the bathroom he reached out and took hold of her elbow.
"Montana, you know that you can do that in here. I'm not going to bite and you've got nothing to hide."
She looked at him in utter shock. He could see that her mind was frantically processing what he had said, trying to determine if he meant what she thought he meant.
"Babe," she started, "I can't very well have a shower in the middle of our bedroom."
He frowned at her attempt to avoid the topic. "Lindsay," he sighed, "please don't treat me like I'm stupid. Or deaf."
"What?"
"Do you really think that I am so clueless that I don't know what you're doing in there?"
Her mouth hung open for a moment in disbelief. "Danny, it's just a shower. I'm just showering."
Danny thought for a moment. How could he put this in a way that wouldn't offend her or make her embarrassed?
"Linds, I know you, okay. I know the kinds of sounds you make when you're... excited, shall we say?" said Danny. "Lately, I've been hearing those sounds coming from the bathroom almost every time you take a shower."
Lindsay stared at him, her mouth gaping open in astonishment. Danny continued quickly, trying to ease her suffering.
"It's okay, Linds. It really is. I know that with everything that's going on right now - work, new baby, new marriage, husband cruising around in a wheelchair - it's not been easy on you," he reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I know that you need to relieve some of the stress and frankly, I agree that sometimes there's just no better way to do that than to get off."
"Danny, I -"
"Linds, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know that there is no reason that you should have to feel ashamed about what you're doing. It's alright. I just, you know," Danny lowered his eyes to his legs and frowned, "I just wish that you felt that you could share this with me. I love you, and the thought of you feeling like you have to hide every time you want that physical release," he shrugged his shoulders and looked up at her face again, "I just wanted you to know that I don't think it's wrong or dirty or anything."
Lindsay had continued to stare at him. He could see that her bottom lip was beginning to tremble slightly as she fought with her emotions. She turned her gaze from his face and looked down at her fingers which were fidgeting nervously. She slowly brought her hands up and cupped his face, rubbing her thumbs over his cheeks and he leaned into her touch, revelling in the comforting familiarity of the gesture. She leaned in and kissed him. It was a delicate kiss, but Danny knew that it contained all of the thoughts and feelings that Lindsay couldn't bring herself to say.
Danny pulled back from her and rested his head against the headboard and gazed at his wife, watching as a lovely rosy blush crept up her cheeks.
"You're really beautiful when you blush Lindsay. Do you know that?" he asked.
She gave him a shy smile, and shook her head.
"Well, you are," he said simply.
"Thank you."
Once again, she moved to get up from the bed.
"I meant what I said, Montana," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Please don't hide from me. If I wasn't in this chair, I'd be in there with you. It would be my hands, my fingers, my tongue, my cock that would be making you pant and moan. There are so many things that I can't do around here anymore, Linds," his voice broke with emotion as he saw tears well up in her eyes. "Please, don't take this away from me."
The look that she gave him took his breath away. It was so full of love and desire. He could feel tears building behind his eyes and he had to blink a few times to keep them at bay.
"I miss you," he said, leaning forward and touching his forehead to hers. "Please," he begged, "let me help you Lindsay."
With their foreheads touching, a wave of relief passed over Danny as he felt her nod her head. He released the breath he was not aware that he'd been holding.
After a moment he leaned back against the headboard once more. He reached down and picked up the book that had been on his lap and dropped it onto the bedside table beside him. Then he reached out to Lindsay.
"Come here, sweetheart," he said, holding his hand out for her.
She took his offered hand and crawled up the bed to lie beside him, resting her head on his shoulder while he wrapped an arm protectively around her shoulders and started to rub her back.
"Danny?" her voice was unsure.
"Yeah, Linds?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like I was avoiding you," he could tell by the way her voice trembled that she was crying and his heart ached. "I just didn't want to make you feel pressured into doing anything that you didn't want to. I - I didn't know if you still felt... that way about me. And I was afraid that I might hurt you."
She sniffled into his shoulder and he felt her sob a few times. He reached out the hand that was not rubbing her back and took her hand in his.
"I know, Linds. I know," he soothed her. "I just want us to be able to talk about things like this. You know as well as I do that we don't do very well when we don't talk to one another. We just end up pushing each other away."
"I know. I love you Danny."
"Love you too Linds," he said as he smiled into her hair.
She sat up a bit and turned to look at him. She stroked his face with the backs of her fingers then leaned in to kiss him.
This time the kiss was not timid or gentle. It was passionate and full of longing. Lindsay ran her tongue over his lips, begging for him to open them and let her in to explore his mouth. He teased her a bit at first, causing her to groan in frustration. Then he opened his mouth and her tongue darted in, and they both moaned in pleasure at the feeling. Without breaking their kiss, Danny pulled Lindsay closer to him then manoeuvred her so that she was straddling his legs, her hands resting on his chest.
Breathless, they pulled apart. Danny moved his hand to the hem of her t-shirt and started to pull it upwards. She raised her arms and let him remove the garment from her completely. She watched as he tossed it aside then moved his hands to her waist.
"Don't," she said before she could stop herself.
Danny froze. "Don't what?" he asked. "I'm not doing anything, Montana."
"Danny, please don't touch my stomach," she said blushing. "It's embarrassing. It's still all jiggly and gross from being pregnant.
Danny looked in utter disbelief at his wife's flat stomach. He looked back up at her face and crumbled a bit at the look of uncertainty in her eyes. "Linds," he said quietly, "you were never gross and jiggly to me. You always have been and always will be the most beautiful woman in the world."
"You're just saying that because you have to," she pouted.
"Babe," he said trying not to chuckle as she stuck out her lower lip and crossed her arms over her belly, "I'm not just saying anything. You're gorgeous. When you were pregnant with Lucy I had to restrain myself from jumping you, you were so radiant. And now? Now you're just hot. Smoking hot."
She scoffed at him and rolled her eyes.
"Seriously, Linds. Your boobs are huge, which is awesome," he winked at her, earning a small smile in return. "And as for these jiggly bits you're talking about, you need to show me. Because I can't for the life of me see anything jiggly about you right now."
She slapped his chest lightly, but grinned at him. "Shut up. You're such a weirdo."
"Show me the jiggle and I'll shut up," he said grinning mischievously at her, taking hold of her arms and uncrossing them so he could see her stomach. "See, nothing. Nada. Niente. If I hadn't been in the delivery room with you, I would never know looking at you that you had given birth only a few months ago."
She couldn't help but smile at the sincerity in his voice. "Thank you," she said.
"You're welcome, sexy mama."
"Pervert," she said smiling at him and leaning down to kiss him deeply, allowing his strong hands to run up and down her sides and her lower back. She didn't even flinch as his fingers trailed around to the front and rested on the area just above her belt buckle.
Danny moved from her lips to kissing her jaw and then he nibbled on her ear, causing her to sigh. She tangled her fingers into his hair, pulling him close to her, and craned her neck allowing him better access.
"Just tell me what you want, babe," he whispered against her neck, his breath warm on her skin, "and I'll do my best."
"Danny," she said, panting lightly, "I want you to touch me."
Pressing open-mouthed kisses down her neck he concentrated on her collarbone as his fingers undid the buckle on her belt, then moved on to the button and zipper on her jeans. Sucking and kissing the hollow at the base of her throat, his hands moved around to the back of her jeans and he lightly smacked her backside.
"Hey!" she exclaimed.
"What?" he asked innocently. "Get up and take off your jeans. And while you're up, get rid of the panties too."
She pulled back from him and glared at him in mock annoyance. "Jeez, you're bossy. You think that just because you're in that chair that you can get away with talking to me like that?"
Danny considered for a moment, then grinned wickedly at her. "Yeah, I do," he said as he smacked her ass once again. He moved his hands up and dropped his fingers down into the back of her jeans, caressing the firm flesh he found there, cupping her ass in his hands and squeezing gently.
"Please take them off, baby?" he asked. "Pretty, pretty please?"
"That's better," she said laughing. She pulled his hands out of her jeans and stood up, pushing the fabric down her legs and stepping out of them. Then she wiggled out of her panties and removed her bra as well.
Looking back at the bed, she saw that Danny had removed his shirt and managed to wiggle down on the bed so that he was lying on his back with his head propped up on a pillow. He was still wearing his sweatpants, but he had placed a pillow under his knees so that they were bent at a slight angle. She cocked her head and looked at him quizzically.
"Doctor said that I shouldn't lay completely flat. It's better for the circulation in my legs to have a pillow under them."
She nodded her understanding, the made her way back to the side of the bed. "Where do you want me?" she asked.
He patted his flat, toned six-pack of a stomach. "Right here, baby."
She looked at him, unsure. "Won't that put too much pressure on your back? I don't want to hurt you."
Danny looked back at her, touched by her concern for him. "Well, you can't put all your weight on me just yet. If either of us gets uncomfortable, we'll just have to find another position," he shrugged his shoulders. "But I know that you like being on top, and I kind of want, you know, to feel like you're riding me." He blushed as the words left his mouth.
"Well, we'll just have to be careful, then," said Lindsay as she lifted her leg and positioned herself so that she was kneeling with her legs spread on either side of his torso. She slowly lowered herself onto his stomach, his hands running up and down her thighs, encouraging her.
"I'll tell you if it hurts, babe," he promised. "Please don't worry about me, okay? This is about you. About how much I love you."
She smiled down at Danny as she finally relaxed on top of him. His fingers drifted up from her thighs to her waist, and finally he took hold of her breasts in his hands. She moaned as his hands came in contact with her sensitive nipples. As he tenderly stroked and teased her pink buds, she arched her back pushing herself further into his touch.
"God, Danny. I've missed you so much!" she said.
He smiled up at her. "I've missed you too, Linds."
He realized that in her position he wasn't going to able to sit up and kiss her while still being able to touch her wherever he wanted to. "Um, Linds?"
"Yeah, Dan?"
"Um, could you, maybe, bend down to me?"
"Huh?"
"Well, I want to kiss you, but I can't really sit up right now. There's a beautiful naked woman on my stomach," he winked at her.
She smiled down at him, then slowly leaned toward him, resting her hands on the pillow on either side of his head, her breasts dangling tantalizingly in his line of sight.
"God, you're so beautiful," Danny breathed, cupping her breasts in his hands once more and squeezing gently. He craned upwards, capturing Lindsay's lips in a heated kiss. He shuddered as she moaned into his mouth as he continued to manipulate the delicate mounds in his hands, flicking her nipples with his thumbs.
He broke away from the kiss and looked at Lindsay, her cheeks glowing with a beautiful rosy flush, her eyes dark and cloudy with desire. He felt a slight twinge of nervousness. What if he wasn't any good at this? What if he couldn't satisfy her? He knew that normally they fit together perfectly, and that it felt so good when they were joined. But that wasn't a possibility tonight. Maybe it never would be again. Would he be enough for her if this was how it was going to be forever?
She must have seen the flicker of doubt on his face, as she reached down and caressed his face and placed a chaste kiss to his forehead.
"Baby, what's wrong?" sensing his hesitation, she continued, "It's okay if you don't want to. I would understand."
Danny couldn't hold back any longer and a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. Lindsay leaned down and kissed the tear away, then ran her fingers through his hair. He sighed as he closed his eyes to try to regain control of his emotions. He opened his eyes and his gaze met Lindsay's, and he could see her concern for him reflected in her brown eyes.
"I just," he said with a shaky voice, "I just don't want to disappoint you, Linds."
She smiled down at him once more and then she leaned down and kissed his lips, his cheek, his chin, his jaw.
"You're not going to disappoint me, Dan," she said. "I love that you want to do this with me. I know that you love me and desire me even when I'm feeling fat or ugly. You reassure me that you want me all the time. And I don't know if I've been very fair in letting you know that I feel the same way."
"Linds..." Danny tried to interject, but Lindsay cut him off.
"You are amazing. You're sweet and kind. You're smart, funny and you're a goof. But you're my goof," she paused as she lovingly stroked his face. "And you're beautiful, Danny. So beautiful. The chair doesn't change the fact that I want you. I want to love you and I want you to love me. Even if that means we do things a little differently for a while. I love you, no matter what. Legs or no legs, you're the only one I want, and I'll take you any way I can get you. I love you so much, honey. Just as you are."
Danny reached up to cup her face.
"Thank you," he whispered.
"Anytime."
Taking a deep, cleansing breath, Danny turned his attention back to his wife's body. He trailed his fingers down from her face, skimming over her neck, collar, breasts, and belly. He felt her writhe on top of him and felt her warm wetness against the skin of his stomach. He slowly dipped a finger into the area between her thighs and smiled at the delicious sensation of feeling her arousal for him.
He explored her slit further with his finger, stopping momentarily to attend to her tiny bundle of nerves. She closed her eyes and moaned into his shoulder at the touch. Danny took this as a sign to go further. He slid his finger further along until he came to her opening. He gently circled the area with his finger, not pressing hard enough to hurt her, but pressing firmly enough so as not to tickle her.
"Danny, please," she sighed in his ear.
With that, Danny slowly inserted his index finger into her opening and she involuntarily rocked her hips to meet his digit. He slowly withdrew his finger, then inserted it again, soon followed by his middle finger. He pumped slowly into her a few times, and Lindsay began rocking her hips into his hand, essentially riding him.
"More, Danny," she begged," please, I need more."
Danny slowed his movements and included his ring finger along with the other two, gently stroking her inner core as she stretched around his fingers.
"Ooh, baby," she moaned, "God, that feels so good. Harder baby, please."
Danny picked up the pace of his strokes while at the same time leaning down and capturing one of her nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip, and delighting at the tautness in his mouth. He gently rolled the bud between his teeth. Lindsay arched into his mouth and pressed her core more firmly against his hand, letting out a wail of pleasure.
Danny could tell by the way she was writhing and panting that she was close. He released her breast from his lips and moved up to suck gently on her neck, being careful not to leave a mark. With his free hand, he reached around to squeeze her firm backside. Then he slid his hand around the front, dipping his thumb into her slit to massage her clit while she rode his other hand.
He basked in the glow of his wife. She was so beautiful. Her eyes were closed as she rocked closer to her release, panting his name over and over again.
"Baby," he whispered into her ear, "please look at me. I want to watch you come for me."
"Danny, please," she panted, "I'm so close."
"I know Linds," he soothed her. "I know. Open your eyes and look at me baby."
He watched her face as she slowly peeled open her eyes. He could see them flashing with her arousal. She gazed down at him as she rocked herself faster on his fingers.
"I love you Montana," he said, reaching up and kissing her neck. He leaned back onto the pillow and took in the sight of his wife coming undone. Finally, with one final rock of her hips, Danny felt her muscles start to contract around his fingers as she came, shouting his name.
Danny kept up his ministrations with his fingers while her internal muscles continued to twitch. Still panting, Lindsay moved to slide off his stomach. As she moved, he removed his fingers. He waited until she was settled beside him, resting her head on his chest, before taking his fingers into his own mouth, one at a time, tasting her release.
She watched as he sucked the last of her juices from his thumb then reached up to caress his face lovingly.
He leaned into her caress and wrapped her tightly in his arms.
"Thank you, Lindsay," he murmured to her.
She looked up at him in confusion. "What? Why are you thanking me?"
He smiled at her and pulled her back down onto his chest, running his hands through her hair. "Thank you for letting me help you, Lindsay. For sharing yourself with me."
She placed a kiss to his chest.
"Thank you, Danny. For loving me, and letting me love you back."
Held tightly in each others arms, they drifted off to sleep, both comforted by the reassurances they had received from one another. Both satisfied with the experience they had shared. Both loving each other, just as they were.
A/N: You like? I have some ideas for other one shots for D/L. But I want to know what people think of this one before I really get started on any others. Feedback please!!!
