TITLE: Just Let Go
AUTHOR: Astrid
DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything The West Wing, all property of Sorkin et al. Nor do I own the lyrics to Toni Braxton's "Let It Flow."

RATING: G
CATEGORY: Drama, slight angst, unspecified couple.
SUMMARY: There comes a time when we must go our own way.
SPOILERS: None.
ARCHIVE: when I get around to posting it, http://www.envy.nu/pepperchic/WestWing/main.html
You want it, let me know.
FEEDBACK: If you like it, let me know. If you hate it, let me know.

A/N: Not beta'd. I was listening to the "Waiting To Exhale" soundtrack and my muse awoke. Hope you enjoy.



Let It Go 1/1


Saturday night:

This is one of the hardest things that she has ever had to do. She loves him but she knows that he'll never love her. Not the way that she needs him to love her. Not that she could ever tell him exactly how she feels, not if he's so blind that he doesn't see it. But deep down inside, she knows that it's more of him not wanting to see it. And knowing this, feeling this, is tearing her apart, because no matter how she tries, she can't stop loving him. Not when she works by his side everyday.

It's late as she finishes typing and saves her document before printing a copy. She scans over it, checking for any mistakes, making sure it's complete. She makes a few changes, satisfied, she prints up two copies, one for her records and one for him. She balls up the first draft and throws it away. She finds a pen and signs her name to the one she'll leave on his desk before he gets back from dinner.

Her resignation is effective immediately. She has another job lined up, at a doctor's office in Georgetown. She starts Monday morning. Ever the dutiful assistant, she's already arranged for a temp to be here when he arrives in the morning.

She looks at her watch, it's getting late and he'll be back any minute now. She shuts off the computer before pulling out the box she's had carefully tucked away. She packs the last of her remaining personal items. She's spent the past week gradually moving her things from out of the office. She straightens up her desk, no longer personified by her.

She starts about her final task, walking into his office and placing her letter of resignation on his desk. She looks around, trying to capture the image of his office in her mind. She takes a deep breath, knowing that if she doesn't leave now, she won't ever. So she turns and leaves, closing the door behind her.

She stops at the desk that has been hers for the last three years and gathers her purse and the box of her things. She walks down the deserted corridor, stopping only to sign out and to turn in her security badge. She gets to her car, having avoided saying any goodbyes or having to explain why she's taking her things with her.

This is what's best for her. And so is making a clean break. Her friends will get a message on their voice mail. It's not as if she's not moving, so there's no need for long, emotional goodbyes.

She places the box in the backseat and gets in. She starts her car and hits the play button on her CD player. She pulls out of her parking spot, a tear sliding down her cheek as she turns the volume up.

She looks in the rearview mirror, wiping the tear away, "Just let go."

And she drives out of the parking lot, leaving both him and the White House behind. And she doesn't look back.


First thing Monday morning
I'm gonna pack my tears away
Got no cause to look back
I'm lookin' for me a better day

You see, the thing 'bout love
Is that it's not enough
If the only thing it brings you is pain
There comes a time when we could all make a change, darlin'

Just let go
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Everything's gonna work out right you know
Just let go, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let it go (Baby)

Don't nobody want no broke heart
And don't nobody want no two-time losers, oh no
Ain't nobody gonna love you like you are
If you take whatever he brings your way, oh no, no, no

You see the thing of it
Is we deserve respect
But we can't demand respect without change
There comes a time when we must go our own way

Just let go (Let it flow)
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Everything's gonna work out right you know
Just let go, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let it go

Sometimes love it can work out right, right now
Sometimes you'll never know it, you're never ever gonna know it
But if it brings you pain in your life
Don't be afraid to let it go

Just let go (Yeah, let it flow)
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Everything's gonna work out right you know
Just let go, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let it go

Just let go
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let go, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let it go (Let it go, let it go, baby)

Just let go
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let go, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let it go (Let it go, let it go, baby)

Just let go
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow


Right about now, he's opening the envelope he found lying on top of his desk, wondering where the hell his assistant is and why her desk seemed so...vacant. As his eyes move across the page, he no longer wonders where his assistant is but why she's left him and why like this. It becomes clear to him that this is how she wanted it. Maybe not how she wanted it, but how she needed it.

And as he drops down into his chair, her letter of resignation still in his hands, he wants to run out and find her. But he knows that he has to just let go.


THE END