Hello, I needed a sad story to balance everything out. I don't know, I just felt depressed. I haven't been sleeping a lot lately and sleep deprivation leads to depression of sorts/

Anyways, I own nuh-en, Naoko Takeuchi created the BSSM Characters.


This is a story about love. The part all the movies and fairy tales leave out. The story after happily ever after. The part where the joy and unlimited understanding jumped off the wagon and boredom and selfishness took over. This is the beginning of the end and how life and love has its cycles.

Ten years. Most girlfriends would be happy about such a tale. She met her blonde lover ten years ago, she was young and naive, every bit of the cliche. Infatuated with the enigmatic Haruka Tenoh. Everything about her physique and personality, always strong and always a champion. But that was when she was fifteen. Now she finds the blonde, clingy and too available at her beck and call. They have fallen into the comfort-zone and it lacks any challenge and it hardly ever sparks any more passion. Her late night thrysts with her once adventurous bomb-shell turned into couch-dinners-movies-bed date. She hated how dependent she was on Haruka, she probably wouldn't know who she can be if she stayed any longer. She wouldn't be able to know what she can do if she allowed herself to be with her for more than a fraction of a second. She mustered enough courage. 'Deep breaths!' She encouraged herself as she grabbed one of her suit cases, bending one knee to accomadate one more piece of luggage she turned around afraid to face those pained beautiful green eyes that have been pleading with her for the last hour. 'Now or Never.'

"Michiru please... don't do this. I can't live without you." Her once proud and strong blonde groveled at her. Her posture bent to contain Michiru's smaller form.

"You can. You did before you met me." Ice cold she tried to take another step towards the door. The closer to the exit she gets the better but Haruka was quick to stop her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry okay? Please just forgive me." She absolutely pities this taller figure before her, she is appologizing for something she probably doesn't know and something she wasn't responsible for. Giving at least some form of respect to the years they devoted to each other she dropped her suit case and faced the grieving woman. Her smaller hands rose to cup the blonde's cheeks, she could sense her desperation when Haruka leaned on Michiru's touch capturing her hands with her own.

"Haruka... I can't do this any more. You have to let me go." She tried to be as comforting as she could but with words like that, she probably can't do any good. She was right. Her emerald eyes, once full of joy erupted in tears as she allowed her anguish to take over from head to toe. She shook uncontrollably, giving Michiru's hand one more squeeze, she finally let go.

She dared not to look back, she barely made it out. Once she saw Haruka's defeated form she nearly wanted to give up her own mission. Her mission. What was it? To be her own person. Not someone who just merely existed with Haruka. Not just someone known as Haruka's girlfriend. She was scared of course being away from such security that Haruka provided, she was going to step into a whole new world but somehow she was prepared to do so. With one last sigh, she entered the taxi- Never looking back.


The next few days have been quite painful to say the least. Her phone didn't stop ringing, her inbox was getting full and the last time she checked she had 64GB worth of RAM on her Iphone but nowadays it doesn't seem to be enough. It was amazingly from one person alone. She cleared the missed call sections. She hovered her fingers for a while on top of the inbox icon, hesitant yet still curious.

7:27am: I miss you so much. I don't know what I did or what I didn't do but I know I can be better. I can change. I love you Michiru, I do. With all my heart. With everything I've got. Please come back.

6:45am: Am I not enough for you anymore? Is it because I'm not a man?

That one was the most painful text she received. Haruka never showed her insecurities about lacking certain appendages between her legs but just because of her, she would doubt her own capabilities, not just as a woman but as a person? She bit her lower lip her guilt consuming most of her being but there was still more, her phone still alerted her of new messages from the earlier hours.

6:12am: I can't sleep. I tried. Believe me I tried. I broke our bedside photo but I found myself immediately trying to fix it. We looked so happy. I thought you were happy.

5:50am: Is there someone else?

No there wasn't. It was just her and she can't be around her for fear of just suddenly vanishing. The girl she taught herself to be would just vanish in Haruka Tenoh's arms. Why does she care after ten years? Because it has been already ten years and she always pictured herself in a different light. Independent. Successful. Not that she isn't, she is a renowned violinist after all, she just wanted to re-emerge from being just someone's partner and re-discover herself. Is that a crime? Is it a crime to ask so much space from the person who took care of her and loved her all these years? She frankly didn't want to hear the answers. Being truthful to herself is what she needs. Being around the blonde made her feel weak and choked. She needed this. She longed for her freedom at the expense of her poor Haruka.

5:36am: I don't understand Michi. I love you. Don't you love me any more? We made love just a few nights ago. It was still there. You and I - US, it was still there. Don't tell me I was just imagining things.

5:15am: I love you so much. I love you no matter what. I will love you until I stop breathing. Please come back.

4:59am: No one else will love you like I do. I can take all of you. The good, the bad and the confusing :) I will take you back without questions Michi. If I see you on our doorstep right now, I would just open it for you and welcome you back.

4:55am: Can't you see what you're doing to me? I could handle anything in life. I could have handled everything had I never met you. You're breaking my heart Michiru.

She choked out a sob as she read the last few lines. Deciding that it was too much for her to bear she immediately took the sim card out from the phone's slot and threw it. Not caring at all where it landed. She has a concert in a few days and this would not be healthy for her. This is what she wanted right? Her own world, she craved it for so many months now, Haruka's presence was suffocating her and she willed herself to not feel that way. God knows she tried. She picked up her violin, opening the case and gently placed it on her chin. Thoughts still flowed through her head. Haruka's kindness irked her. Haruka's love drowned her. Haruka's passion consumed her. There was nothing left of her to call her own. She was not ready. Ten years didn't prepare her to be simply - Haruka's.


Concert. She managed to play the whole length of that with ease. She felt happy. She felt satisfied. She did all this by herself. Applause and cries for an encore. This is what she needed. This is what she's been missing all along. She headed towards her dressing room but was surprised to see her standing behind the door.

"Hi." She greeted. Extending her hand to deliver her aqua haired beauty some roses, like she always has. Michiru looked at it and it reminded her of the routine she got so sick and tired of. She went past the blonde not giving her a second glance and sat down in front of her dresser eyeing the intruder from the mirror. She could hear Haruka clear her throat as if trying to swallow her own heartache. "You were wonderful Michiru." She ignored her temperamental minx's mood and placed the roses right next to Michiru's elbows. With a heavy sigh, Michiru turned to face the broken blonde.

"Haruka-san, I don't want you to be hopeful. If I show you kindness please don't misunderstand." She was becoming an expert at being a jerk. She felt that being cruel to her now would save her further heartaches.

Haruka just gave her a weak smile. It has been like that in all of her concerts. Haruka would always find a way to sneak in to her dressing room and she was sick of it. She needed space. She needed distance from the blonde. She found herself unable to breathe around her and just like it was when they were still together - painfully suffocating in her love and kindness. Drastic changes and measures have been made and she found herself having to ban Haruka Tenoh out of all her concerts and social events. Cruel. She was indeed very very cruel.

It has now been three months and Haruka has been unrelenting. Having been banned from Michiru's concerts, she was on full stalker mode. She waited by Michiru's door step.

"Haruka?" Michiru stepped back, she was tired from rehearsals and the last person she wanted to see was Haruka. Thinking about the confrontation made her heart drop to the pits of her stomach.

"Michi... can we talk. Please?" Haruka approached her, deathly pale with dark circles around her eyes, her lithe form clearly showing signs of weight loss. She felt guilt consume her again but then her defenses took over. Haruka is old enough to deal with her issues, after all, Michiru has been honest with her. Michiru did not cheat on her.

"There is really nothing more to talk about." Michiru tried her passive-agressive approach again and thried to walk past Haruka only to be stopped. Haruka grabbed Michiru's arms with both hands and shook her.

"What did I do to you? All I ever did was love you! ALL I DID WAS LOVE YOU!" Michiru's eyes widened as she was made aware of Haruka's mental-state, she tried to pry herself away from Haruka's grip but failed miserably and without a warning Haruka planted a desperate kiss on her. She squirmed, not because she was disgusted, but because the woman she fell in love with is forcing herself on her. She finally managed to free her right arm and in one fell swoop her hand landed on the dazed woman's face.

"You PSYCHO!" She didn't mean to say it but it came out and there was nothing she can do take it back. She just threw all respect for the blonde out of the window that was once their bond.

Haruka just stood there rubbing her cheeks. It wasn't the pain from the slap she was contemplating on though it was Michiru's seething words that burned her heart. 'Psycho. That is all I am to you now because I love you?' She watched Michiru turn her back on her again, abandoning her like she did time and time again. She held her hand close to her chest. Trying to feel every ounce of pain she can. True she was acting crazy and not herself. She is merely a shadow of her past self. But this pain will help her she knows it.


"Ano... is Haruka coming? Coz Michiru-san is and I don't want any trouble. Its Chibi-Usa's birthday so..." She looked almost guilty upon uttering the words, she crossed her arms in front of her and laying them on the table her chin propped in the crook of her elbows. The black haired girl just raised an eyebrow at her.

"Haruka-san has the right to be here. She's our friend to you know Usagi-chan."

"I know Rei, its just that, Michiru-san has been complaining about Haruka's obsessive-"

Before Usagi could finish her sentence, the tall brunette covered her mouth, dipping her head close to the naive blonde's ears.

"Haruka's here." She whispered.

Everyone looked at the pale and thin Haruka Tenoh, they immediately wanted to run to her and hug her but they know that would damage what little pride the racer has left in her system after being rejected blindsidedly and continuously by the love of her life.

"Odango." She greeted without her trademark toothy grin and flirtatious nature. "This is for Chibi-Usa." She handed a box about as big as Playstation 3 box and equally as heavy.

"Thank you Haruka-san, how have you been?" Usagi asked with evident concern and pity in her voice. Harka casted her gaze down on the floor idly kicking invisible rocks.

"I've been better." She honestly answered, her tone weak from her lack of sleep. Makoto could only give her friend a loose hug. Words would not do anything to comfort the blonde. Hopefully enough time would do the trick. Apparently not enough time though as the door swung open. It was the heartbreaker herself- Kaioh Michiru, greeting every one including Haruka in a very platonic way.

They were seated on the 12 person capacity table on the dining room. Haruka strategically sat in front of Michiru. She would have sat right next to her like she always has every year before this one on Chibi-Usa's birthday but Setsuna blocked her and so did Minako. So she sat there. Quietly observing as Michiru casually strikes up a conversation, laughing with the girls in the process...

'Look at me please, just once... Michi.' Haruka made sure she didn't say that out loud so she could atleast spend some more time just looking at her. For now merely looking is enough.

The rest of the table was oblivious to her pain. Of course they would all gravitate towards her, how can you not. She is simply breath-taking and talented and just plain perfect. Haruka grabbed another glass of wine. It would be her umpteenth. She lost count, she needed the drunken madness to be able to gaze at those blue orbs, to admire the aqua tresses and to love her laughter. 'She looks so happy,' She thought to herself making sure she took another sip of her wine, 'Happy without me. I've been a burden to her.' Then her emerald eyes grew wide as Michiru's sapphires met hers, the Aqua haired goddess' features was graced with a frown, the blonde could only manage a weak smile and raising her glass. Michiru nodded and dismissed her completely as she went on with her playful banter with Setsuna, Minako, Usagi, Makota, Ami, Rei- anyone except her.

She consumed so much wine that she dreaded her actions. Her logic drifting away from her since everyone was up now. Nobody was eating. There were no barricades on Michiru. She made her way towards her love but was stopped by tanned arms.

"Whoa! Whoa! Hey, Ruka, you've had too much to drink." Setsuna's eyes was pleading. Everyone knew what Haruka was about to do so they froze on the spot at the sudden intensity of desperateness across the room. Haruka once again glanced at Michiru as she took a step back. Her heart sank even deeper into the black hole it was sent to five months ago. She didn't fight Setsuna's blockade, she just stayed there gripping Setsuna's arm for support. She needed to let this out. Drunk or not, logical or not, Michiru needed to hear this.

"Oi! Michiru! I never knew you hated me this much!"

"Haruka!" Setsuna once again interjected.

"No! Look at me Michiru! Why do you hate me so much? What have I done to deserve this? Haven't I loved you enough? Am I not attractive enough for the Great Kaioh Michiru?!"

"Haruka stop it! This is Chibi-Usa's birthday party!" This time it was Usagi's time to cut in, the rest didn't have the courage to break even more fibres on the blonde's tortured soul.

Michiru looked at Haruka with a mix of pity and anger. She probably didn't deserve this but she wanted her space. Why can't Haruka just give her that.

"You don't understand, Usagi... it hurts. It hurts so much." She pounded her fist on her chest.

"Michiru... please... please..." She pushed Setsuna away but didn't come closer to the cause of her decline. "I love you so much. You don't know how much this hurts." This time her tears started flowing freely.

"It would have been a lie if I stayed with you knowing I was unhappy. If you love me like you say you do, you have to move on and let me go." Michiru finally answered, the rest of the people in the room didn't want to get involved.

"Don't you think that is asking for too much?" This time she moved closer to Michiru placing a hand on the smaller girl's cheek.

"Haruka!" The rest of their friends suddenly turned towards the blonde as if to drag her away from Michiru, but Michiru raised her hand to stop them, the blonde looked around her. She could see fear in all of their eyes, including Michiru's she was scaring them even Chibi-Usa. It was then that she realised what she has to do. She has to go somewhere far away, so she could heal. Her wound was Kaioh Michiru and there is no healing when she's nearby. She dropped her hand and placed it in her pocket.

"Come with me. One last time. Just for tonight and I will leave you alone forever. I won't bother you anymore." Her voice slowly regaining its normalcy. She smiled at everyone in the room, weakly as usual, but honestly as well. She offered her hand to Michiru and remained in the air for more than a few seconds. Though she never thought her heart could break anymore it did as every second passed by without Michiru's hand in hers but she has to maintain her composure. "I won't do anything silly or anything you don't want me to do." Her green eyes probed the blue ones in askance and finally Michiru agreed. She grabbed Michiru's hand but it wasn't intense, not desperate or needy. She turned to look at the others.

"Gomen ne, for the way I've been acting." She gave a small bow before leading Michiru out of Usagi's humble home.

The rest of the gang just stood there shocked. They did pity the blonde, it was understandable why she was acting like that but at the same time they were not used to see her in such a state. Gulping awkward saliva, they each exchanged a worried look.

"Should we follow them?" Minako looked at the eldest in the group. Setsuna just shook her head.

"I trust Haruka-san would do the right thing." She then looked at every individual trying to make them understand and they all went back to showering Chibi-Usa the long awaited attention.


Her hands were placed on the blonde's arm, they have been quietly walking to a familiar destination. A park near the Juuban Cho Shopping Mall, just across from the Crowne Arcade. She smiled at the memories they shared there. It's a decade's worth of memories after all. The blonde led her to a secluded bench and they sat there. Haruka still intently gazing at her.

"This was and always will be our place." Haruka finally broke the silence but sensing the beginning of the blonde's speech she need not say a word. "I've been coming to this place more often recently. Trying to remember everything. A glimpse of you. A more vivid picture from a memory. I don't know. I'm so sorry I wasn't enough to make you happy. I though, I just thought we were it. That you were the one..." Haruka looked at the night sky, the moon and stars burning bright for her, giving her strength. All the strength she needed for this very moment, just one last time, she would need this much courage not fall apart. If she falls apart she would pull away, then she felt Michiru's hands on hers but reminded herself not to get her hopes up as Michiru oh so bluntly stated. It was just kindness. "You know I would do anything for you and this is what you want. So I will give you what you want, but not tonight. Tomorrow, so I ask of you, just this, Ten years we spent together, You can give just a moment of the past. I just want to kiss you, hug you, wrap my arms around you while you lay your head on my shoulder and we talk just gazing at the stars- and I swear, I will leave you alone starting tomorrow. I will give you the distance you need."

Michiru sighed. She wasn't really sure if this was black mail or just an excuse for intimacy but she hasn't been exactly the nicest ex-girlfriend to the best girlfriend in the world so she nodded without enthusiasm. Haruka's hands immediately encircled hers and she immediately drew it to her lips, kissing the back of Michiru's hands. Surprisingly Michiru quite missed the show of affection but she didn't let it show. Haruka then cupped her cheeks, she was afraid that Haruka might lunge at her again with some sort of pent-up ferocity but what she got was one kiss on the corner of her lip, feather light and made with haste. It confused her but she immediately shrugged it off.

"Now lets watch the stars ne? I'd rather watch you since you're more beautiful than they are but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." She chuckled lightly turning Michiru's confusion into amusement. She saw Haruka shifting her body and stretching one arm to wrap around Michiru's shoulders, 'Oh right, head on shoulders," Michiru reminded herself of the unusual demands she sounded even more insensitive to herself. She absent-mindedly nodded and placed her head on crook of the blonde's broad shoulders. She felt warmth and comfort at this familiarity. This was part of their everyday routine but she rarely experiences this now, why should she care though? This was just for tonight.

"You know what I loved about you?" Michiru noticed the sudden change in tenses, she felt a little hurt but immediately dismissed it.

"That I was extremely beautiful." She jested, Haruka just smiled.

"Yes that first of all, but then you have this air of ancient elegance most rare. I was so drawn to you." Haruka laughed as she reminisced her petty crush on Michiru that turned into a full-blown romance. She shook her head. "It doesn't matter now... I should take you to your home." She looked at Michiru for what seemed like forever, hesitating to leave but then pulled through in the nick of time. She stood up and offered her hand to the very calm Michiru. They walked a few blocks before they reached the blonde's car.

"Thank you, Michiru." For the first time in a while, Haruka sported a positive expression the pain was still there but there was some sort of focus in those emerald orbs as well. Michiru just smiled.

"You're most welcome, Haruka-san."

Michiru noticed that Haruka was driving really slow. Too slow for Haruka Tenoh standards, she is seriously doubting the pact she made with the blonde but didn't want Haruka to detect the doubts in her uneasiness. Finally she arrived at her house. Her expensive metro-chic empty house. She was about to open the door when Haruka stopped her.

"Nah-uh, let me."

The blonde vanished and reappeared by Michiru's door side. She held it open for Michiru as she helped the beauty up on her feet. They stand inches apart.

"Is it too much to ask for another last kiss?" Haruka leaned closer to Michiru dipping her head in the process. Michiru contemplated at first, but since its the last kiss, it should be alright. She shook her head. Their lips met, once again, Michiru was surprised at how light it was. Like Haruka was afraid of breaking Michiru. Michiru pulled away and gave the best smile she could muster and presented it to the blonde.

"So what are you planning to do now, Haruka-san?" Michiru asked, hands clasped in front of her. Haruka shifted her gaze from Michiru to the pavement. If she stayed any longer, she might break her resolve again and back-out on her spontaneous yet glorious plan.

"Goodbye Michiru." She turned to walk away.

"Matte! You're not gonna-" She suddenly realized what she was going to be accused of. She once again faced the beautiful Aqua haired woman before her.

"I am not going to do anything stupid. I was asked to race internationally. I will accept it. That will get me busy and out of your hair. Ja!"

Before Michiru could say anything, Haruka just winked and entered her yellow convertible. They shared one last longing glance and Haruka sped off. Michiru couldn't explain it but she suddenly felt like her heart was three times heavier than before. She clutched her hand on her chest as she tried to decipher the emotions. She grabbed her phone- no messages this time. She then proceeded to her gallery. There she saw photos in wide varieties from silly to naughty yet always with Haruka. She smiled, but then her smile faltered. She dismissed the thought again before it was conclude it was just because they have been together for so long. She just missed the familiarity and the routines... but isn't that why she wanted to leave in the first place?


So how do you like it? I'd like to hear from you guys, I love sad sad stories, specially the ones make your stomach churn and your heart sink and you think you can actually physically feel it. So please Review when you can don't hit and run or else I will never update. :)