"We now return to Dr. Phil."
"Our first guest today is a fat and very, VERY ugly, pregnant mother," said Dr. Phil.
-Eggman comes out-
Dr. Phil stared in fright. "Ahhh, It's Bigfoot! Run everybody, RUUUNNN!"
"I'm not Bigfoot!" Eggman yelled.
"So then you're the fat and very, VERY ugly, pregnant mother?" Dr. Phil said curiously.
"I'm not pregnant!" said Eggman.
"Then what's that under your chest?"
"That's my stomach."
"Whatever you say, Preggy...so...What's your name, is it Fatty?"
"No!" Eggman yelled angrily. "My name is Dr. Eggman. I'm the World's greatest scientist," Eggman said with pride.
"Maybe the World's fattest scientist," Dr. Phil mumbled. "So, Eggman, let's talk about your eating problem."
"Well..." -Eggman pulls out a sandwich and starts eating- "I spend most of my time eating eggs. I think it's because...because my father scrambled my eggs when I was little!!" Eggman started to cry.
"What?" Dr. Phil said confused.
"My father flipped my omelet."
"I don't understand."
"My father served me sunny side up."
Dr. Phil looked even more confused. "I don't understand all of these egg references, what are you trying to say!?"
"MY FATHER MOLESTED ME! Was it that hard to understand?"
"Yeah it was, Fatty...Now, lets talk more about your crappy life."
"Well..." -Eggman pulls out another sandwich and eats it- "I've been working on a new game called 'Grand Theft Chao.'"
"Really now?" said Dr. Phil. "Tell me more about this most likely crappy game."
"Well, the storyline is...you are a Hero Chao, and the Dark Chao have stolen your breakfast, so you have to go to reclaim your ham and egg breakfast by going into their turf and killing things like cute and fuzzy animals."
"Is this a violent game?" asked Dr. Phil.
"Yes, it is Dr. Phil, but what gave it away?"
"When you said 'killing things like cute and fuzzy animals.'"
"Oh," Eggman said surprised. "There will also be a 'Ghetto Chao Garden' feature, where you will have to pimp out your chao and teach it to talk street. If you don't feed your chao, then it will become angry and you will have to perform a drive-by to calm it down."
"It sounds like a very urban game," said Dr. Phil.
"Yes, it is a very urban game. I got the idea for the game when I was eating at KFC last night."
"Why is everything you do associated with food?"
"Well, Dr. Phil, when I was little, I had no friends..."
"What a surprise," Dr. Phil said sarcastically. "...Anyway, continue."
"As I was saying...I had no friends, so I had to befriend the food in the house. Me and 'Hammy the Hamburger' and 'Betty the Bacon Strip' talked all the time...then I ate them."
"Wow...I...er...Wow...Okay, let's talk about your personal life, Eggy."
"Well.." -Eggman pulls out a hamburger and starts eating- "... I feel outnumbered. Every time I try to kill Sonic, he gets a new friend. I mean, how can I beat Sonic and his friends if they keep getting new members each game!"
"Maybe you should sick 'Betty the Bacon strip' on them," Dr. Phil said while snickering.
"I already told you, I ate them...Hey! Are you making fun of me!?"
"Of course not," Dr. Phil said sarcastically. "Well, your time is up, you may now pass on to the Oprah round."
"What?"
"I said, it's time to go to Oprah's Show, Fatty."
"But I'm scared." Eggman hugged his hamburger.
"You should be!" Dr. Phil yelled. "May God help you while you're in Oprah's domain! Remember to use the fat!"
"Don't you mean 'force,'" said Eggman.
"I am never wrong, Fatty!"
(Will Fatty...er...Eggman survive Oprah's show? Find out in the next chapter.)
