THIS FIC CONTAINS NO MARY SUE
This is my fourth Mary Sue parody…Have I no shame?
Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric had an angsty, tragic past. Her mom and two brothers kicked her out for being incessantly annoying and rude with repercussions.
All she had to face the cruel world with her was her loyal pet elephant, Dodo. Dodo and Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric were great friends, because Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric was the animal alchemist and could talk to animals and was friends with all animals.
Then Dodo died.
Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric was sad. She angsted for a bit before deciding to break the greatest taboo of alchemy and bring him back to life.
(Cue: A million readers roll their eyes.)
Unfortunately, it didn't work. Surprise, surprise. Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric lost her breasts in the unfortunate accident...But they grew back.
One thing led to another, and now Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric has met her long-lost brother, Edward Elric, when Roy Mustang assigned them to go on a mission together.
Now they are in a hotel room in a town with an uncreative name, making babies. Incest is hawt. And since she's a girl, it's not at ALL like Elricest. Because mixture of the words 'Elric' and 'incest' means that applies only to Ed and Al, because they are the only people with the last name Elric. Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric's last name isn't Elric. It's Elric. There's a difference.
Yeah.
Anyways, Ed and Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric had three children, because of course they would have triplets after their first round of passionate sex.
And even though they are related, giving the babies a higher chance of being disfigured, NONE of them are disfigured. Because the laws of science don't apply to a series based on the laws of science.
Anyways, all the babies are girls, because Ed had a curse put on him as a child and he is only able to produce girls. He named them all after dead people. (1)
They are named Nina, Trisha, and Sakura, because who doesn't love cutesy, japanesey names? They're KAWAII! (Is that like Hawaii? I LOVE HAWAII! Ed and Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric had their vacation in Hawaii, because even though Hawaii didn't become a state until 1959, and this takes place in the early 1900's, IT DOESN'T MATTER! IT'S FANFIKSHUN AND ANYTHING GOES!)
Then Natalie Emma Delanie Nessa Bethany Elric died, and the next generation of Elrics was given something to angst about, thus letting the world of angsty Fullmetal Alchemist thrive.
THE. END.
(1) It's true. Look at any fanfiction where Ed has children- THEY'RE ALL GIRLS NAMED AFTER DEAD PEOPLE!
