A/N: This is somewhat pointless, but I couldn't sleep so I thought writing something might help. It didn't, by the way. Oh and it's my first one-shot. This calls for a celebration!

Disclaimer: The usual.

Midnight Tips

Clark Kent raised his head a millimeter above the couch to glare at the person who was single-handedly ruining his life. And his beauty sleep. "Lois, what are you doing?"

Lois Lane jumped, her hand snapping out of a box of what Clark hoped wasn't his favorite cereal. Her head whipped around to look at the boy who was literally bent in half to stay on the couch. She didn't even have enough sense to look sheepish as she collected her wits. "Smallville! What are you doing up?"

"Trying to ignore you."

"And how's that workin' out for yah?" Lois replied, still oblivious to Clark's death glare.

Clark decided he might as well help himself to the midnight feast Lois was preparing for herself.

He tried to pat his extremely bad bed-hair down and reached for the dwindling contents of the kitchen cupboard.

"Yah know, Smallville, I don't think Lana's going to notice you." Lois mentioned off-handedly, yanking the peanut butter further out of Clark's reach.

The boy didn't bother replying. Two months of living with Lois Lane had taught him to keep his big mouth shut. She didn't need him anyway; she could hold up both sides of a conversation with as much ease as he could lift the tractor. He simply reached for the crackers she was now consuming.

Lois pulled them away. "You're too farm-boy."

"Nice Lois. Now may I have the contents of the fridge back?" Clark responded.

Lois stood up. "You're not listening, Smallville."

"Should I be?" Clark was getting a little annoyed. Lois was acting like Ebenezer Scrooge with the food and he was hungry.

She ignored the interruption and continued. "The mysterious looks yah got going for yah are only going to get yah so far."

"Right," Clark agreed absently, too intent on staring at the large piece of apple pie Lois had just served herself. His compliance was rewarded with the leftover crust.

"Right," Lois poured herself a glass of lemonade. "You need to show her what you're made of!"

Clark reached for the pitcher before she could shove it on the eggs. "And what's that?"

Lois shrugged. "Dirt? Salt? Steel? How am I supposed to know?"

"Wow Lois, I don't think you've ever complemented me before." Clark responded after the appropriate time for a rebuttal had already passed. He winced slightly; he was slipping. That wasn't even a compliment.

"There's a first time for everything, Smallville." Clark was glad to see that she was also not quite up to par in the verbal arena tonight. Lois seemed to have noticed too because she decided it was good time to bail out. "I'm goin' back to bed."

Clark pretended to look affronted. "Already? What about the dating advice?" He followed her to the stairwell only to receive a nasty glare for his troubles.

He waited until he heard his, well, Lois' door close before turning back to the kitchen. He'd thought he'd seen some peanuts that had escaped Lois' raid.

A/N: So do you agree with my sister? Do I write better when I'm half asleep?