AN: I do not own any of these characters or the Gallagher Girls books.


We hadn't left things well. That was the thought that flashed through my mind as I rappelled between two buildings in the Dominican Republic, then grabbed a knife from the secret pocket in my knee high boots, severed the cord I'd just crossed, and continued running without missing a beat. We hadn't left things well, and I couldn't wait to get home.

I leaped the 2 foot gap to the next roof and paused for a moment behind a small chimney. I could hear them. They were still following, and I didn't have much time to lose them and catch my ride. The disk in my pocket, containing a cloned exchange algorithm this particular group of arms traders relied on, weighed heavily on my mind. But not as heavily as that last conversation.

The only way to fix that was to get off of this roof and back to Chicago. Back to Zach. I listened. They were closer now. I rolled sideways and hung myself off the edge of the roof by my fingertips, hoping they'd take a quick glance at the roof I'd just been hiding on and continue along into the night. Based on the pace I'd set, I should be at least two roofs further on than I was.

It worked. The three enemy operatives stooped behind the small chimney, took one glance, and proceeded on. No one noticed my fingertips clinging to a ledge in the shadows. But surely they saw the helicopter circling, looking for me, and knew their time was limited. I held my body on the edge of the roof another two minutes, until I was sure they couldn't beat the chopper to my location. Then I hauled myself back onto the roof and activated my pickup signal. As I climbed into the chopper, I caught a glimpse of the enemy agents turning and raising their weapons, even as they realized they'd already lost.

It hadn't been that bad. Surely I'd worked it up in my head to be more of a fight than it actually was. I had said yes, after all. Zach had asked me to marry him, in front of our families and all my friends, and I had said yes. And then I'd said not yet.

I hadn't meant it to be a rebuke. I knew we were 28. I knew we'd spent roughly the last ten years of our lives together. I knew I'd never meet another person who understood me the way Zach did. Who'd lived my scars alongside me. Who'd fought for me every step of the way. But I couldn't deny I had misgivings.

I love Zach. I've loved Zach for a long time. But loving Zach is difficult. Loving any spy is difficult. You're never 100% sure who you'll get on any given day. And even though Zach has proven his loyalty to me time and time again, even though I've trusted Zach with my life in the field, and with most of my deepest secrets, the idea of committing to trust someone else for my entire life is unnerving. And take that from a woman who spent her senior year of high school fighting the Circle of Cavan.

And while the average life expectancy of a spy is, admittedly, significantly shorter than that of the average person, it wasn't crazy to wait. We were only 28. There was time yet. So, that night, while we were curled up together, almost asleep, I whispered five words that changed everything.

"Zach, why don't we wait?"

He pulled away and turned to look at me. "Cold feet, Gallagher Girl?" he asked, in his usual light manner, only his eyes betraying his concern.

"Just for a little while. We're still young. And I know that we've known each other for a long time. And you know how much I love you. But it just feels rushed. I just think it would be better to wait."

He didn't move, but I swear it was like he had gone to stand across the room. Across the City. Practically in Indiana. His eyebrows crinkled just a fraction, and I could see him recede, see him put on the front he'd finally learned to drop around me.

"If that's what you want, Gallagher Girl," he said coolly, making it clear that he disapproved of this course of action. I could have let it go, but I didn't. Instead, I stood my ground and said firmly, "it is."

I could have said a lot of things in that moment to lessen the sting of my words. I could have chosen to delay this conversation until a different night. A night that wasn't going to be interrupted before dawn, when I left for a solo mission in the Dominican Republic. But I didn't. Instead I rolled over and went to sleep, and Zach didn't break the silence.

I rose earlier than necessary and gathered my gear before the light even began creeping over the horizon. I gently placed my new engagement ring on the nightstand and turned to grab my bag. His arms wrapped around my waist from behind, and he gently pulled me to him.

"You know I can't wear it when I'm working," I murmured, glancing over my shoulder at the ring on the nightstand.

"I know. Be vigilant out there, Gallagher Girl," he said. We had coined the phrase many years before, when we realized that "be safe" would always be an unrealistic charge. And then he kissed me, but it was all wrong. The movements were the same, certainly, the dance of our lips and tongues well-rehearsed and known by heart, but the passion was missing. Zach always kissed me like his heart was on fire. Like every kiss could be the last one.

But that morning he didn't. Instead he kissed me like a normal man might have. Like he didn't know the odds of me walking back through the door were about fifty-seven percent.

It was all wrong. And I left anyway.

I stared out the window of the chopper the entire ride home, knowing I should be using my time to catch up on paperwork, or sleep, or at least chug some orange juice from the provisions refrigerator. Instead I counted exactly how many seconds would pass before I could see Zach again. Before I could walk back through our door and make everything right.


AN: Hi, everyone, I'm back! I got this lovely comment on another story about how I'd probably graduated college and was long gone, and how it was a shame that I didn't have more stories. Well, no longer. I mean, I did graduate, and I have moved on quite a bit. But sometimes you get the creative writing bug again. So here I am, with adult Zammie for your entertainment. Read and Review please :)