A/N: This is a humour story I wrote which all events that are mentioned happen before or within (Though not mentioned) my other story 'Chronicles of the Last Dragonborn'. This story explains and elaborates on things that piss off, annoy and gets on Draco's nerves. (One of my Dragonborn)

EDIT (SEPTEMBER 26th 2016): Everything in here is non-canon to my other story 'Before Destiny'. And I am planning to re-edit and add more chapters to turn this story into more of a parody instead.


1. Research notes/papers/studies flying around

Draco was tidying his desk filled with all his research notes and papers all over his desk in Honeyside. These notes and papers are about research on fearless dragons to pathetic slaughterfish, and from the rare yellow mountain flower to the poisonous nightshade. After some hard work, everything was neat and in order.

'Finally that's done, everything's in order,' Draco thought. 'It requires some effort though. Now it is time for me to…' Before the thought was finished, a gust of wind blew in his direction. Apparently, he had forgotten to close the windows and that was why the wind entered, and since he did not exactly place any weights on the stacks of paper or tying them up in bundles, the strong wind blew away all his notes and papers. Seconds later, the neat stacks of paper are now being blown all over his house. Sighing, he decided to pick all of them up and arrange them neatly again.

An hour later, he was finally finished. However, he had forgotten to close the window or even using any way to keep the papers in position. The wind blew again and his all his hard work was reduced to nothing. Because Draco is such a patient and rational person, he did not lose his temper and just decided to do the whole thing again.

He finally finished after another hour and this time, he remembered closing the windows. However, he did not bundle up the stack of papers or putting some weights on them to keep them from flying away. At that moment Draco heard a knock on the door. Without thinking, Draco used his whirlwind sprint shout.

"WULD… NAH KEST!"

Draco was now at the door in less than a second and opened the door. It was a courier wanting to deliver a letter to him that was from Calcemo, the Court Wizard in Markath. Draco took the letter and returned…

…to see pieces of paper all over the room. Apparently, when he used his whirlwind sprint shout without thinking, it created a strong gust of wind that blew at his study desk, sending all his notes flying around the room. This time, Draco was frustrated and pissed. He had already done it three times and wasted three hours just to arrange his research notes neatly. He wasn't planning to do the same thing for the fourth time. Without thinking, Draco unleashed his Thu'um in frustration. Unfortunately, he was not aware of the direction he was facing.

"FUS… RO DA!"

The unrelenting force shout pushed away anything that stood in its path. That included his quills, inkwells, books, soul gems, and alchemy ingredients, dining utensils and even food and beverages. Draco looked at the trouble he created with his unrelenting force shout.

Now he had to clear a much bigger mess…


2. Bandits and robbers trying to kill him and get his stuff (Up to a group of seven)

Draco was walking along the road to Windhelm when a small group of five Nord bandits surrounded him.

"All right, tree hugger! Hand over your valuables or we will gut you like a fish!" the leader demanded.

Draco just stared at them like each of them had grown a second head.

"Do you even know who you're dealing with?" Draco asked.

"No, and I don't care. You're just a weak elf and tree hugger who should have gone back to their precious forests! Your kind can never stand a chance against us Nords! One more thing, when you hand us your valuables, remember to give us that pretty circlet with strange blue stones you're wearing!" the leader replied; pointing towards at Draco's aetherial crown he was wearing.

Draco remembered that he was wearing his Bosmer Elder armour and he still has his mask covering most of his face, so that was probably why the bandits do not know who he is.

"Well take a good look at who I am!" Draco shouted as he pulled off his mask. "I'm the Dragonborn, milk-drinkers! I once slain two dragons at once, killed an entire squad of Thalmor soldiers and killed a bear in hand-to-hand combat with only clothing!" Draco remembered that being called a milk-drinker was the most insulting to the Nords.

"How dare you call us… wait what? YOU? DRAGONBORN!" the leader asked incredulously. "Hey guys, this elf says that he's the Dragonborn!" The rest of the bandits started roaring in laughter.

"Dragonborn… what a joke!"

"How could a tree hugger be the Dragonborn anyway!"

"That's a good one!"

"Dragonborn! Ohhhhh… I'm soooooo scaaaaarrrreed!"

Draco sighed as he saw the bandits' reaction. Coming to think of it, he could not really blame them for not knowing who he was anyway, since most of the time he has his mask on and prefers to keep a low profile. Still, he did not want to waste his too much time dealing with these bandits, he had better things to do.

Draco just walked away from the group of bandits instead of showing his power of the Thu'um or fighting them, who were still laughing at his claim that he's the Dragonborn. They were not worth his time.


3. Windhelm(During Ulfric's rule)

"You come here where you're not wanted, you eat our food, you pollute our city with your stink and you still refuse to help the Stormcloaks!" Rolff shouted angrily at Suvaris Atheron.

"But we haven't picked a side because it's not our fight!" Suvaris replied.

"Hey, maybe the reason these Grey-skins don't help in our war because they're Imperial spies!" another Nord named Angrenor shouted.

Draco was usually indifferent, but he was unable to stand the scene any longer. He marched up to the two Nords and defended Suvaris.

"Hey, lay off her. She's done nothing to offend you," Draco said to the two Nords.

"What do we have here, another outsider that pollutes the city. And defends the dark elves," Rolff scoffed.

"Can't believe we let people like you into our city," Angrenor added, and drew to a height that towered over Draco.

"You better watch your words, you have no idea who is standing in front of you," Draco replied.

"Oh, and who could it be?" Rolff sneered.

"You probably heard of me, you probably didn't. I am the Last Dragonborn."

"You?! Dragonborn?!" Angrenor asked incredulously before laughing.

"How can someone who's a pathetic nature-lover be Dragonborn?!" Rolff scoffed, trying to stifle his laughter. "Only Nords can be Dragonborn as they are the only race who can shout!"

Draco and Suvaris sighed. Everyone can learn the Thu'um. It's just that the Nords are more capable in using it than every other race. Apparently, this scene was quite similar to his encounter with the five bandits. Draco tapped Suvaris's shoulder, wanting to tell her something.

"Watch this," he told her. "IIZ… SLEN NUS!"

Angrenor and Rolff are immediately frozen solid. Fortunately, none of the guards spotted what happened.

"Thank you for your help outlander," Suvaris said to Draco.

"Don't mention it. I don't really hate your kind, but why did they treat your kind this way?" Draco asked.

"It's not just the dark elves most Nords in Windhelm pick on, they also take advantage of the Argonians, who are not even allowed to live within the city walls at all," Suvaris explained. "And the name of the district my kind lives in is also an insult to us. It was once called the Snow Quarter before it was renamed the Grey Quarter. In fact, anyone who's not a Nord here gets picked."

"I see. I guess we better leave this area before the guards spot us with these frozen bodies," Draco said as he pointed to Angrenor and Rolff, who where still frozen solid.

"I thank you outlan… no, Dragonborn. What's your name?"

"You can call me Draco," Draco replied.

"Very well. Thank you Draco," Suvaris replied. "Take care."

"You too," Draco replied as he walked away.

He was sure it would not be the last time he would be entering Windhelm or bumping into those racist Nords again.


4. Hearing people sing 'Ragnar the Red'

Talsgar the wanderer was walking on the road, trying to find directions to Solitude. As he was walking, he saw Draco who happened to be walking in the opposite direction. Talsgar walked up to Draco.

"Do you know which direction to Solitude?" he asked. Draco pointed towards the direction of the road that leads to Solitude.

"Ahhh, thank you stranger!" Talsgar replied. "Things are going well for me, I should sing a song." He cleared his throat and sang, "Oh, there's once named Rag…" before Talsgar could finish the first stanza, Draco immediately executed a neck chop with extreme precision on Talsgar, knocking him out instantly.

'Why is Ragnar the Read so popular anyway?' Draco thought.

He hated that song.


5. Chaurus Hunters and their fledgings

'Okay, just a while more,' Draco thought as he observed the behaviour of the Falmer and the Chaurus. He was watching them from a scaffold in their hideout, taking down notes and studying them. Never harms to learn more, right? Yeah, but doing that in a hideout filled with hostile Chaurus and Falmer is never a good idea.

'Alright, that's it for today, time for me to go,' Draco thought as he quietly left the area. However, he accidentally tripped and fell onto the ground with a thud. The Falmer heard him charged at him together with the Chaurus. Draco recovered on his feet and fought the abominations and the giant insects with no sweat. He suddenly found himself fighting his way through more Falmer and Chaurus. Then he found himself in a small chamber with eight chrysalises.

'What are those things?' Draco thought. At that moment, all eight husks burst open and the fully-grown Chaurus Hunters emerged and they are all looking at Draco with a killing intent.

'Are those adult Chaurus'? I guess I have more things to study about them, but first I need to get out of here alive,' Draco thought as he observed the Chaurus Hunters. And then Draco fought them.

Two hours later….

"You should be lucky that you're still alive. If not for your Bosmer blood, the effects of the poison may have been much worse," Danica said as she stitched up Draco's wounds as he laid down on the bed. "How did you get injured anyway?"

"About that… let's just say that I fell into a nest of Chaurus Hunters and they did not like me. Can you just heal me and let me go as soon as fast as possible?"

"You will have to stay here for at least two weeks," Danica said.

"TWO WEEKS?!" Draco shouted incredulously.

"I know it hurts, but I'm doing my best to ease the pain," Danica said.

"No, I lost my research notes in that Falmer cave while I was trying to get out of there. I want to recover them as soon as possible before the Falmer use them as fuel!"


A/N: These are the first 5 things that get on Draco's nerves. I have already planned most of the things that annoy Draco, but I would like to see what you think about how I wrote for this first chapter and what I can improve on to make it funnier. This way, my writing can improve.