80 Ways to Tick off the marauders
20 ways to tick off James Potter~
1: Tell him that hunting season is coming up
2: Tell him that he has a gay son
3: Ruffle his hair
4: Tell Lily he wanks to a picture of her
5: Tell him that Lily wants to meet him in the Astronomy tower
6: Then tell Lily that he is going to go jump off the Astronomy tower, and she has to stop him
7: Then, when she rushes to save him, lock them up there
8: And explain while they are cursing you, that they will not get out, until the have hot and steamy sex.
9: Tell Snape that James loves him
10: Then proceed to give Snape a "note" written by James, confessing his undying love and devotion.
11: Laugh when Snape turns green
12: And then point out that he is supporting house colors, and thus is a good boy.
13: Steal James' glasses and wear them around school
14: Charm James' robes bright pink
15: Charm James' robes invisible
16: Steal all of James' clothes and hide them
17: Tell James that spooning leads to forking
18: And then proceed to tell him about safe sex
19: And then shove him into Lily
20: And laugh when she hexes his balls
~20 ways to tick off Sirius Black~
1: Tell him that drapery is very dangerous
2: Brandish a fork at him, yelling, "Begone evil doer!" In the middle of the hall
3: Cut his hair while he is sleeping
4: And then use it to make a polyjuice potion
5: and then drink it, and go down to the Great Hall early
6: And when he comes in, jump up, screaming, "My long lost twin!"
7: And the rush and hug him about the waist
8: Announce to the entire Great Hall during dinner that soon there will be half-werewolf half-mutt babies running around Hogwarts
9: Stroke his hair while muttering about silkiness
10: Charm him to dance on the table while singing sexy back
11: Lock him in a broom cupboard with Remus
12: Tell them that doing it doggie-style is perfectly all right, but "doing it doggie-style" should be done only in private
13: Tell Sirius that Remus is wanking in the bathroom and needs help
14: Convince Sirius that the bathroom is empty, when, in fact, it is NOT empty
15: Then laugh when he walks in on Remus using the bathroom
16: Tell Sirius that he is too horny for his own good
17: Ask Sirius if he secretly wants to make love to Snape
18: Tell Sirius he really should stop supporting Slytherin Colors
19: Charm all of Sirius' clothing green and silver
20: Then announce to Hogwarts that Sirius has a snake, and it wants attention
~20 Ways to tick off Remus Lupin~
1: Tell him, while out of breath, that Sirius just fell out of the tower window
2: Ask him if werewolves can wank
3: Tell him he is a sexy, sexy beast
4: Tell him about Sirius' secret dog fetish
5: Hide behind a bookshelf and then jump out and yell Boo! At him
6: Then laugh when he jumps
7: Charm a mouse to follow Remus around
8: Sing "I'll keep you my furry little secret!" Loudly and badly out of tune
9: Ask Remus why he's whispering, in a VERY loud voice
10: Make copies of Remus' homework, and hide the originals while setting fire to the copies, right in front of him
11: Tell the marauders that, when Remus goes to "study" in the library, he isn't studying books.
12: Then proceed to tell them about the "noises" you happened to overhear
13: Convince Remus that he only has five days to live
14: Charm Peter to follow Remus around, in rat form
15: tell Remus that if he goes to the library anymore, he'll get raped by Madam Pince
16: Scribble on books with him watching
17: Steal all of his candy and eat it
18: Show him a silver spoon and tell him to look, because it's shiny
19: Tell him, in a very loud voice, to stop "Polishing his wand" in the common room.
20: Tell him it's okay to be gay, and then proceed to sing the song in a loud and obnoxious voice
~20 ways to tick off Peter Pettigrew~
1: Play with his fat
2: Talk about jelly rolls
3: Poke his shoulder repeatedly
4: And when he asks what you want, tell him you want his body
5: Ask him if he likes to go Stag……..
6: And when he asks what you mean, say, "Oh, I know how you look at James….." Then walk away
7: Push him into the black lake
8: Tell him Crookshanks will eat him……..
9: Tell him that a hippogriff will molest him if he goes outside
10: Hang him from the moving staircases with rope
11: Tell him to make friends with the giant squid
12: Then tell him the giant squid has EIGHT ARMS
13: And wink at him
14: And when given a blank look, tell him the Squid likes it rough
15: Spike his Pumpkin Juice with veritaserum
16: Then begin to ask him embarrassing and extremely personal questions
17: Steal his wand
18: Then hide it in James' underwear drawer
19: When he walks into breakfast, squeal loudly, point at him, and begin to cry
20: Make endless fat boy jokes
Author Notes~
Thus ends the tormenting of the Marauders…… How I love them…. ^^
Peter: I am not fat! Well…… Maybe a little bit……
James: Harry is NOT gay!!!
Sirius: I hate you………..
Remus: I don't do anything in the library but study from books…… No matter what you might have overheard…… *Blushes*
Hades: Shut up you lot! Back into your mind boxes! In you go!
