This fanfiction was inspired by "No Greater Love" by Joe's Girl. Her story involves three different ways Jack and Audrey's relationship could have turned out after season 5 (written before the finale aired), and the second ending (chapter 4) inspired me to write this (with permission from the author) as a continuation to that ending. So in order for this to make any sense, you must read "No Greater Love" first, especially chapter 4. Chapters 1, 2, and 4 of that story all precede this...chapter 3 is great and you should read that too but that has nothing to do with this story since it's an alternate ending. This story takes place a few hours after chapter 4 of "No Greater Love" ended. The title is based on something Tony said in season 4, and it will make sense when you read the second chapter (coming very soon).
Enjoy, and reviews are always appreciated. Review "No Greater Love" too if you haven't already.
This is chapter 1 of at least 2 chapters, maybe more if you guys really like it.
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Later that night, Audrey was stretched out on the couch talking to her father on the phone. Jack had gone out to look at apartments, and she wasn't sure when he'd be back but it was starting to get late so she was a little worried.
"Do you want me to come over?" her father asked. "You sound like you could use some company."
"No, that's okay. I appreciate it, but I think I just need to be alone right now."
"Alright, well, you call me if you need anything, alright?"
"Okay, I will."
"I love you," her father said gently.
"I love you too, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Alright, honey, I'll talk to you later."
She hung up and started cleaning up the piles of tissues that had accumulated around the coffee table. She went into the bathroom to wash her face. Jack would be home soon and the last thing she wanted was for him to see her like this. As painful as it was the decision was for the best, or at least, that's what she kept telling herself. For some reason she was having a really hard time accepting it.
As she was washing her face she heard the phone ring again.
"Hello?" she answered.
"Hey, it's me," Jack greeted her.
"Um, hi...what's going on?" she asked, trying as hard as she could not to let any emotion show in her voice.
"I just wanted to let you know that I found a place...I put in my application today and it should be approved within 48-72 hours, so I should be out of your hair by the end of the week."
Somehow his words caught Audrey off-guard, making her suddenly feel anxious.
"You there?" Jack asked, snapping her back to attention.
"Yeah, I'm here, sorry. That's...that's great news."
"Yeah, I just thought I'd let you know...I'll be back in a little while. Are you sure you don't want me to go to a hotel in the meantime?"
"Yeah, I'm sure...stay here as long as you need."
"Alright, well, hopefully it'll only be for a few more days."
"Yeah," she said, fighting back tears. As hard as she had tried to keep her emotions in check Jack could tell she was upset.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she lied, hoping he would let it go.
"Alright, I'll see you in a little bit."
"Okay. Okay, bye," she said and hung up quickly.
Audrey suddenly felt really unsettled, and she didn't know why. The sooner Jack was gone the sooner she could start to put her life back together. She should be relieved, right? Somehow she just hadn't expected it to be so soon...
After agonizing for a minute, she forced herself to stop. They had made a decision and they had to stick to it. She took a deep breath and decided to go upstairs and move some of Jack's things out of her bedroom, hoping that she would sleep easier if she didn't have so many reminders of him surrounding her.
Jack hung up his end feeling confused and also unsettled. She hadn't sounded as happy about this as he expected her to. Frankly, he wasn't feeling as happy about it as he should have either. He knew it would be awkward staying with Audrey and wanted to be out of her hair as fast as possible. But when he put in his application, he found himself comforted by the fact that it would take at least 48 hours to process.
He was mulling all of this over when his phone rang.
"Bauer," he answered. He was surprised to hear Secretary Heller on the other end.
"Mr. Secretary," he said cautiously.
"Jack, I need to talk to you...I need some help getting information from the CIA and the bureaucrats have been stonewalling me for a while."
"What kind of information?" Jack asked.
"I can't talk to you about it over the phone. Can you meet me at Murphy's in a half hour? I know it's short notice but it's important and I don't know who else I can count on."
"Understood. I'll see you in a half hour," Jack answered, though he had a feeling Secretary Heller didn't just want to talk to him about work.
A half hour later, Jack was sitting in a booth with Secretary Heller. They had finished going over what they needed to go over, but Jack had a feeling that wasn't the only reason he'd been summoned. His suspicion was confirmed a minute later, when Heller finally brought the elephant in the room to the forefront.
"Jack, listen, I know this is none of my business, but..."
"Sir, with all due respect, if you called me here to lecture me or to say 'I told you so'..."
"I didn't call you here to do either, Jack," Heller said with a sigh. "I just want to show you something."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little photograph of himself at some point in his late 20's, clad in a military uniform and holding a little baby girl.
"Is that Audrey?" Jack confirmed. Even if the context hadn't been obvious he would have seen it in the eyes.
"Yeah," Heller nodded, grinning with a mixture of pride and amusement. Jack smiled affectionately at the little baby in the picture.
"That picture was taken the first time I held her," Heller continued, his tone becoming more serious. "She's six weeks old there, Jack. I was on tour in Vietnam and I missed the first six weeks of my daughter's life."
Jack sighed. He could see where this was going, but he was confused as to why Secretary Heller was showing him this now. Wouldn't this have made a better illustration for the lecture he had given him months earlier in Los Angeles, when he and Audrey had been so excited to see each other that they had ignored his warnings and been blind to some of the issues they were dealing with now?
"Mr. Secretary, you were doing your job," Jack said, thinking about how lucky he was that he had happened to come home early from a mission right before Kim was born.
"That's just it, Jack. I wasn't."
Jack looked confused.
"I had already served the term I signed up for," Heller explained. "But on my last scheduled tour, my best friend was killed in the line of duty, and I blamed myself for not being able to save him. So I signed up for an extra year so that I could go back there...I don't know if I wanted revenge or wanted to somehow redeem myself by doing something heroic. I made that decision even though my wife was two months pregnant at the time. She wasn't happy, but how could she complain? I was serving my country...who was she to stand in the way of that?"
He looked pointedly at Jack, making sure to drive home that last point.
"When I went back there," he continued, "I had the chance to redeem myself to some extent by helping two men in my unit who were critically injured get to safety. But no amount of satisfaction that I felt from that would ever make up for the fact that I wasn't there when my little girl was born. I've never forgiven myself for that, Jack."
"What's your point, sir?" Jack asked cautiously.
"My point is, you've served your term, Jack. You've done your part. Hell, you've done way more than your fair share for this country already. It's time to let someone else step up to the plate, and time for you to settle down and think about yourself for once."
Jack sat there for a minute processing.
"Do you love my daughter, Jack?" Secretary Heller asked after a few moments.
Jack sighed. He could just walk away and say that it was between him and Audrey, but he was a father too, and having been in the same situation on the other end, he just didn't feel right about it.
"It's more complicated than that, sir."
"No it's not, Jack. It's a simple question. Do you love her or not?" Jack paused for a second. "Alright, fine, you don't even have to answer yes or no," Heller continued. "Just look me in the eye and tell me you don't love her and this conversation is over."
Jack sighed and looked away. Despite all of his years of undercover work he knew there was no way he could pull this off convincingly. So he just looked down, essentially admitting that he couldn't do what Secretary Heller had challenged him to do.
"That's what I thought," his former boss said after a minute.
"It doesn't matter how I feel about her," Jack said sadly. "Just because I love her doesn't mean that I'm good for her. You said it yourself a few months ago when you tried to warn us to slow down and look at things objectively but we were too blind to listen."
"Jack, I said that because I was worried about my daughter. She had suffered so much after you disappeared and I didn't want to see her get hurt again. I never meant to imply that I didn't think you guys should be together, just that you needed to deal with some of the issues you were bound to face before rushing into anything."
Heller paused for a minute before continuing. "I didn't know about your relationship until the day before you disappeared...you and Audrey made sure of that."
"Mr. Secretary, I..." Jack began to protest, but he was interrupted.
"Just let me finish. I didn't know about your relationship, but in hindsight, looking back at those six months, I couldn't remember a time when I had ever seen her so happy. She was extra perky and enthusiastic and there were times when I would catch her smiling for no reason. The only time I've seen her that happy since was when she first found out you were alive and that you were going to be able to come back to Washington with us."
"That was a while ago, sir," Jack said sadly.
"What, and you think anything's changed? You think she loves you any less now than she did then?"
"I don't know, sir," Jack said honestly, a hint of resentment in his voice. "A few months ago she never went anywhere without her engagement ring."
"Oh, for Christ's sake, Jack! Don't you get it? Last night, I had to basically force her to leave the office...she wanted to stay at work all night because she didn't want to go home to an empty house. I asked her what was going on, and she said that you were fine when you were together, but you were never together. If she had known you were coming home last night, she'd have gone home and straightened up her already immaculate house and gotten herself all gussied up to make sure she looked perfect for you, then pranced around counting the minutes until you returned. She was so excited to tell you about our trip to Russia the other day, and I could tell how disappointed she was when she found out you were away. I can see the difference, Jack. I can see how some days she comes into work and she can't stop smiling, and other days she's distant and forlorn. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what that's about."
"Mr. Secretary, I appreciate your trying to help, but it's too late to do anything about it, and with all due respect, sitting here dwelling on what I've done wrong is just making me feel worse."
"It's not too late, Jack!" Heller insisted. "It doesn't have to be. That's what I'm trying to tell you. After I got back from that last tour of Vietnam, I resigned my position and never looked back. When Richard was born, I was right there in the room. In those days, men weren't usually present at the birth but I insisted...I wasn't going to miss out again. I may have worked long hours and traveled more than I wanted to when my kids were growing up, but I made sure that I made my family my number one priority. It's not too late for you to do the same, Jack. Audrey loves you, and I don't think she wants your relationship to end anymore than you do. I can't speak for her, but I think that there's a very good chance that if you tell her you're willing to quit your job and make your relationship your first priority, she'll be more than willing to give it a little more time to see if you can make things work."
"And then what? She doesn't exactly have a ton of spare time either. She works long hours, and she can't expect me to just sit around waiting for her to come home."
"Then why don't you come back to work with us at DOD? I know she's told you that I wanted you to come back."
"Sir, I appreciate the offer, but we both know you were just trying to do me a favor...in your own words, I was a pain in the ass when I worked with you."
"You're right, you were a pain in the ass, Jack," Heller admitted. "You're also the best damn advisor I ever had working for me. I guess Audrey didn't tell you that I've had six different people in your position since you disappeared and I'm about to reassign another one. I just haven't been able to find anyone who's willing to think outside the box and look beyond the incestuous world of Washington power politics. Yeah, I didn't like that I constantly had to worry about you mouthing off to senior officials or creating a huge political fallout by stepping on people's toes, and I really didn't like that you never listened to me. But I'm also keenly aware of the fact that Audrey and I wouldn't be alive if you had listened to me when I told you to stay out of CTU's way and let them do their job right before we were abducted."
Jack sighed. He had always felt frustrated working at DOD. It was so different than what he was used to, and he felt like he didn't belong. But at the same time, he loved working with Audrey. Even before they became a couple, they had always worked well together despite their different perspectives, and somehow having her around always seemed to brighten up even the most unbearable day.
"Listen, Jack, I don't expect you to give me an answer now. I know you need some time to process, and that you need to talk to Audrey. Just promise me you'll think about it, and that before you move out you'll sit down and talk to her? Regardless of the outcome, I know that there are some things she wants to say to you, and I think you owe her that much."
"Alright, I promise," Jack said after a minute.
A waitress brought over the tab. Jack took out his credit card to try to pay for his drink but Heller waved it away and gave him a look that said "don't be ridiculous."
"Get out of here," he said. "Go home and straighten things out."
"Yes, sir," Jack said, chuckling slightly. Heller tapped him sympathetically on the shoulder as he turned to leave.
"Mr. Secretary?" he said, turning back around.
"Yeah?"
Jack took a deep breath. "Thank you," he said sincerely.
"You're welcome."
Twenty minutes later, Jack pulled into the driveway of Audrey's townhouse determined to talk to her. He hadn't made any other decisions, and he didn't know what the outcome of their conversation would be or even how to begin it, but he knew there were things that had to be discussed before he was ready to walk out of her life. He thought about waiting until tomorrow, when hopefully the tension would have cooled a little, but he knew he would just keep putting it off until it was time to leave if he didn't do it now. It was now or never.
He entered the house slowly. There was no activity downstairs other than a light she had left on for him, so he went upstairs, growing more and more unsure with each step about whether this was a good idea. When he got to the top, he saw that the light was out in her room.
He quietly opened the door, and stopped as he saw her sleeping. She was curled up on her side, clutching the stuffed dog she had never quite outgrown. Jack stood there for a minute just watching her, his face conveying a mixture of affection and longing as he struggled not to cry. She looked so beautiful when she slept. Jack always thought she looked like an angel, and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with her and fall asleep holding her in his arms. But he couldn't do that, not anymore. He thought about waking her up so they could talk, but she looked so peaceful, and he didn't have the heart to wake her up and drag her through another conversation that was bound to be painful no matter what the outcome. He stood there looking at her for another minute until he saw her start to stir.
She opened her eyes slowly and was surprised to see him standing there.
"Jack?" she asked softly.
He opened his mouth to ask if she was up for talking, then lost his nerve.
"I just came in to get my toothbrush and pillow. I didn't mean to wake you...go back to sleep."
"Oh, I already put them in the other room for you."
Whatever confidence Jack may have had before was shattered when she said that. The implication was clear - she was ready to move on. She wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible, and she had taken the first step by moving his stuff out of her bedroom.
"Oh, okay. I'm sorry...I didn't know...I'm sorry I woke you up."
"No worries," she whispered, and turned onto her other side facing away from him, burying her face in the pillow so he couldn't see the tears welling up in her eyes.
