Chapter One: The Duelist Code

So you're thinking of becoming a pro duelist, eh? You've got the cards, the strategy, and the extremely expensive duel disk that needs to be repaired every week—obviously you're well prepared and ready to dive into the depths of professional dueling! But you're wrong; you are absolutely nothing if you don't apply the Duelist code and honour to yourself. You will forever be that loser who duels for 0.2 seconds before it switches back to people we actually care about.

"So what is this Duelist Code?" you ask this handy instruction booklet. Well, it's what you must live by to get a decent part in a show that consists of yammering about absolutely nothing and standing. Everyone must go by it—even villains, no matter how shitty they are. Saying that your duelist automatically leads other people to believe you live by the code (see chapter fifty: Yuusei Fudo and that mentally retarded cop who got fucked up by Yami no Yuugi in Season Zero).

While under the Duelist Code, you are allowed to do the following:

• Steal

• Mug other duelists for their cards

• Subtly cheat

• Outright cheat to get out of prison

• Talk for long periods of time

• Use three cards every single duel

• Laugh fiendishly and then lose right after

• Overreact to everything that happens

• Have parties with your duel spirits

• Beat the shit out of the main character*

• Duel on bikes and then crash

• Wear flared coats

*See chapter eighty-four: why beating the shit out of Yuugi Mutou was the worst idea you ever had

Also, there are a few things you cannot do while under the Duelist Code:

• Fuck with the main character's friends (or fuck them for that matter)

• Win against your rival

• Win honourably against your rival

• Use non-fancy hand positions to show off your cards

• Sitting down during a duel no matter how long it is

• Play Duel Masters

• Die (English only)

These are just the basics and should be used for reference, since elites just bullshit their Duelist Code and expect you to accept it (which you should 0.2 second duel man).

However, with the Duelist Code comes great honour. This honour is calculated on how highly you think of yourself and means absolutely nothing. What it does though, is make you sound high and mighty which is exactly what you want. You can use duelist honour in other situations that do not revolve around dueling (but why would you be in one of those situations?).

Duelist honour should be used only when:

• You want revenge

• Your friend's want revenge

• You want revenge but need to have a reason (ex. Because you dented my newly fixed duel disk, and I'm going to save my friends by beating you with this baseball bat.)

• You've been kicked out of a bar

• You didn't know she was underage

• You've been caught by the police

If you happen to be training to become a villain, everything here still applies, but you must claim that you don't follow it and have magical powers capable of destroying the entire world. This is extremely vital, because we don't want the villains to become stale and overused now, do we?

This code is essentially the very core of Duel Monsters, and should be treated as such. There are plenty of reasons why you should never try to change it, but changing it up to meet your needs is perfectly alright. Don't be ashamed to flaunt off that you follow the Duelist Code, because you obviously have more honour than anyone else. So what are you waiting for? Get that leather clad ass out there on the streets and find a duelist to duel!