Love and War
Part Three of a Three-Way Crossover of Twilight, Maximum Ride, and Monsters vs. Aliens
Chapter 1: Reception
ALICE CULLEN
The wedding guests all departed for the banquet hall at the back of the ship while the wedding party went to the front for the wedding photos.
Hollywood was coming. A robotic dragon programmed for strategizing in combat. I didn't know why it was coming or what it would do when it got here, but I saw it coming.
Edward was getting into a line with the other groomsmen. He was planning to slip in a comment about Hollywood.
Edward! I screeched mentally. Don't you dare!
He glared at me.
The pictures will be done before it gets here, I insisted. Don't wreck this for them.
I returned to the banquet hall, giving Edward another exaggerated threatening glare as I departed.
I kept my psychic eye on Hollywood. What would it do when it got here? I barely noticed when a brown-haired man stepped up beside me.
"Hey there," he said. "Derek Dietl."
I absently shook his hand. "Alice Cullen."
"You have a cell phone I could borrow?"
"Why?"
"I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the woman I'm going to annoy for the next five to ten minutes."
I broke out laughing. I genuinely hadn't seen that coming, probably because of the close eye I was keeping on the oncoming robot. "Good one," I said.
"Thanks," he said. "So, are you married?"
"Hmm? No, but I know a man who would be very ticked off if he heard me telling people that."
He looked blank. "Uh, what?"
"Yeah, I'm married."
"Oh."
"To that guy," I said, pointing in the general direction of Jasper.
Derek looked. "Who, Flinchy McGoo over there?"
I followed his gaze. Jasper's face was contorted terribly. I ran up to him. "What's wrong, Jasper?"
"That guy," he whispered. "Who is that?"
"Who, Derek? He used to be engaged to Susan. What about him?"
"He's got the... the scent," he muttered. "Like Bella had for Edward. He's my flavor."
"Oh, my," I said.
"I can't handle it," he muttered.
I tapped his shoulder. "You've done great, sweetheart," I said. "You're showing magnificent self-control."
"I can't last much longer," he rasped.
"Okay, baby," I said in a soothing voice. "It's okay. You won't hurt him. Sneak out the back and dive into the ocean so you can't breathe. Catch a whale or something. Okay?"
"Okay."
I gave him a quick kiss and sent him on his way. I faintly heard him landing in the water.
The wedding party was returning. At that very moment, Hollywood burst out of the water and landed on deck. Gasps rang out.
"Are you kidding me?" Susan roared. "Do you mind? I'm trying to get married here!"
Three times in rapid succession, Susan punched Hollywood in the face, heavily denting it. Hollywood threw out a wing to deflect the fourth blow, then punched Susan's face with a spiked fist, leaving a nasty cut on her forehead.
Susan leaned back, putting all of her weight on her hands, delivering a powerful kick to Hollywood's chest with both feet. She went for another punch, but the robot grabbed her hand and threw her to the floor. A jet of fire was unleashed from Hollywood's mouth. Susan rolled out of the way, only slightly singed. She picked up one of the dining tables at tossed it at the dragon's head.
Hollywood was thrown off-balance, giving Susan just enough time to get to her feet. As soon as she did, though, she was forcibly tackled. The giant woman and the robot both pitched over the side of the ship.
Everyone rushed to the railing. Beneath the surface, the fight was still going strong. A wolfish howl rang out through the water.
"What happened?" Dr. Cockroach whispered.
A splash sounded from the opposite end of the boat. Everyone spun to see Susan, dripping wet in her wedding dress.
"Hey," she said wryly. "All right, let's cut the cake."
