I Just Can't Wait To Be King, BATB Style

This fic is dedicated to my younger sisters, Charlotte and Maggie. We have come to laughing ourselves to death imagining what would happen if Simba and Nala from The Lion King showed up at the Beast's castle and Cogsworth was in charge of them. One day I may try my hand at writing a full-scale fic, but for now, I think this will be fun to write and hopefully fun to read. So without further adieu, Simba and Nala will now perform their favorite song as cubs with Cogsworth taking Zazu's place. Enjoy!

(In one of the castle's many rooms, Simba, Nala and Cogsworth are talking. The room is covered with old clothes, thrown about willy-nilly, no doubt by the two cubs. Simba suddenly grins and pounces towards Cogsworth, the way he did to Zazu).

Simba:

I'm gonna be a mighty king,

So enemies beware! (Simba advances on Cogsworth, who backs up and falls over).

Cogsworth:

Well, I've never seen a king of beasts

With quite so little hair (Cogsworth plucks one hair from Simba's mane. Simba scowls and then thrusts his head through a brown boa).

Simba (shaking his "mane" like he's seen his father do):

I'm gonna be the mane event,

Like no king was before. (Simba sheds the boa and leaps up onto a dresser, where Cogsworth had climbed up, obviously to exert his authority).

I'm brushing up on looking down.

I'm working on my ROAR! (The word ROAR knocks Cogsworth off the dresser and into a hatbox, where he emerges tangled in a green beaded necklace).

Cogsworth (disgruntled and scowling):

Thus far, a rather uninspiring thing. (Cogsworth climbs out of the box and is promptly knocked back in as the cubs go dashing by).

Simba:

Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

Cogsworth (finally gets out of the hatbox and shakes the various items off of his wooden frame):

You've got rather a long way to go, young Simba, if you think…

Simba (as Nala sticks out her tongue at Cogworth's back):

No one saying do this!

Cogsworth:

Now when I said that, I- (Cogsworth turns at the sound of Nala's voice. Simba promptly makes a frog face at him and sticks out his tongue).

Nala:

No one saying be there! (Cogsworth turns back to Simba. As soon as he does, Nala puffs out her cheeks and squishes up her eyes).

Simba:

No one saying stop that!

Cogsworth (as he speaks, he sees Nala making another face at him. This time, she pulls on her nostrils, elevating her nose):

Look, what you don't realize… (The cubs run off before he can finish)

Simba and Nala:

No one saying see here!

Cogsworth (now seriously "ticked off"):

NOW SEE HERE! (Gets run over by Mrs. Potts tea cart, upon which Simba and Nala are riding accompanied by Chip):

Simba:

Free to run around all day!

Cogsworth (who is running after the cart as fast as he can, which isn't much):

Well, that's definitely out…

Simba (with Chip riding on his head):

Free to do it all my way! (Cogsworth pursues the cart and cubs into the kitchen, where various mops are washing the floors).

Cogsworth (sliding on the soapy floor):

I think it's time that you and I

Arranged a heart to heart! (Slides into a wooden counter face-first. Simba, Nala, and Chip hop out of the cart and onto the countertops)

Nala (answering for Simba):

Kings don't need advice

From little tick-tocks for a start!

Cogsworth (stands up and grabs onto a broom):

If this is where the monarchy is headed,

COUNT ME OUT!

Out of service, out of the castle,

I wouldn't hang about! AHHH! (As Cogsworth is talking, he does not notice that the broom is sweeping. With a final flick, the broom sends Cogsworth flying onto the counter and into a sink of soapy water. Some of the bubbles cling to Cogworth's arms and look like wings).

Cogsworth (looking at his "wings" and speaking in a disgusted tone):

This child is getting wildly out of wing! (Cut to Simba and Nala on another counter top. The two cub march down two lines of candles, like they did with the zebras in the movie. The candles flames are big and bright).

Simba:

Oh I just can't wait to be king! (Cogsworth appears and runs down the line. As soon he does, the candles' flames go out and Cogsworth scowls at them, obviously offended. Meanwhile, the other enchanted objects are quite enjoying helping Simba and Nala in their torment of the clock.)

Simba (perched on a mop's handle):

Everybody look left! (Cogsworth is promptly run over by an assortment of jugs, glasses, spoons, forks, knives, etc.)

Everybody look right! (Same result from opposite direction)

Everywhere you look I'm

Standing in the spotlight! (Simba slides off the mop handle and lands back on the counter top, next to Lumiere. As the cub lands, Lumiere doubles his flames so that Simba is bathed in golden light).

Cogsworth (looking trampled):

NOT YET!

All (except Cogsworth):

Let every creature go for broke and sing!

Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing! (On "herd," we see a group of plates trotting along together. On "wing," the teacups, led by Chip, jump up into the air, trying to pass as flying animals).

It's gonna be King Simba's finest fling! (Simba and Nala are being attended by Lumiere and Babette. Lumiere has placed a white dishcloth around Simba as a cloak and a small wreath of red roses on his head for a crown. Babette has given Nala a similar "cloak" and a wreath of white roses. The cubs grin as some of the cutlery bow down to them).

Simba:

Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

Nala:

Oh, he just can't wait to be king!

Simba:

Oh, I just can't waaaaaaait…

Nala:

Just can't waaaaaaaaait…

All:

TO BE KING! (All around them, wine bottle shoot their contents into the air, bubbles from the sink float around the cubs, and all the objects are having the time of their lives. Cogsworth, who has attempted to stop the whole show, is knocked back into a dustbin as the last line is sung).

Cogsworth (covered in dirt and dust):

Oh, my head…