Shagrat:The musical! is back, and this time, it has a plotline, and occasional dialogue and all sorts of other cool things. I still don't own any of it, though. Sigh.
Also, apologies for the questionable quality of this one. Someone requested it, and I wasn't completely sure where to go with it, so yeah.


Scene: SHAGRAT is staring out all a window in Orthanc. Outside, orcs prepare for battle.

Shagrat: 7 AM, the usual morning lineup:
Have wrestling matches until Saruman screams
Bite and kick, split heads, and massacre dwarves
Wrestle again, and by then it's like 7:15.
And so I'll lose a fight
Or maybe two or three
Then hide from the others in the library
I'll forge armour and swords
And shields and basically
Just wonder when will my life begin?
Then after lunch it's hobbit-hunting and fighting
running through Rohan,with no food to spare
talking trees and Riders and bickering
Then back to Orthanc, maybe eat, fight some more,
Forge more swords!
And I'll get beaten up some more
If I have time to spare
I'll clean my armour again,
I'm sure it's necessary.
And then I'll fight and fight,
and fight and fight some more
Stuck in the same place I've always been.
And I'll keep wonderin' and wonderin'
And wonderin' and wonderin'
When will my life begin?
And tomorrow night,
Helm's Deep will fall
But I will be stuck here, it's not fair at all
What is it like
Out there in the war?
Now that I'm stronger,
Saruman might just
Let me go ...

SHAGRAT gazes wistfully outside. SARUMAN hits him on the back of the head.

Saruman: stop daydreaming. Your training starts tomorrow.


And it all segues nicely into "I'll make an Orc out of you"...