Author's note. So basically, there are so many clichés that now exist in Harry Potter fandom but what can you do but mock them a little. Some aren't that bad, some are good and some are just plain awful. See if you can guess which ones I actually like, lol.
If you know any good clichés, please tell me and I'll try and use it.
Suggestions are welcome.
Enjoy and please review.
Harry ran through the old house, mentally cursing every step of the way. He and his friends were still on the run from the Death Eaters but had managed to get trapped in this building, one they couldn't apperate out of. To try and lose their pursuers, they'd split up but had no idea how they were going to meet up again.
Basically, they were relying on lady luck to somehow help them out, hoping she didn't decide to give her luck to the Death Eaters. This place truly was a maze, there were twists and turns everywhere, as well as random staircases and doors. Hermione had told them this was a ghost house, something that crazy Muggles built to house the ghosts haunting.
Ron had thought that extremely weird, as had Harry but Hermione explained that the Muggles felt they could appease the ghosts by doing so. Apparently, there was one ghost house in America where the widow of a man who'd invented the rifle had built a house for the victims of her husband's invention. She had been made wealthy by that rifle and her wealth had increased all the time but so had the death toll.
So she ordered a massive complex built for them but with so many ghosts arriving each day, more and more had to be built. This meant the sound of hammers and saws had gone on continually for years, until her eventual death at a grand old age. The complex still existed and was now used as a tourist attraction where many people tried to spot the ghosts that supposedly lived there.
"Nice of her to build them a place, I suppose," Ron had said with a frown to which Hermione replied.
"Not entirely, a lot of the house was made up of false doors or stairs that led nowhere, it was meant to confuse the ghosts so that they didn't haunt her. Although it does beg the question why she lived there at all, I suppose she believed they'd follow her if she lived anywhere else."
"Muggles are weird," Ron declared, although not in a bad way as Harry knew plenty of Muggles would think some of the thing Wizards did was odd. And after growing up in the Muggle world, he still felt that way sometimes.
However, they were not in the States, they were in a rumbling old house built onto the side of a hill and seemed to be made up of nothing but secret passageways. The only good thing about this was, it made it hard for the Death Eaters to actually find and capture them, this place was an indoor maze. Harry hadn't seen any ghosts yet but once or twice, he'd passed through a particularly cold piece of air, making him think they were here but invisible for whatever reason.
Quite frankly, he didn't care, all he wanted to do was get out of here.
"Must be some damn way out of here," he said through gritted teeth, still running although he could only hear a distant thud of pursuit. He'd never lost the ability to run fast and long, not after growing up in close proximity to Dudley. Plus, it helped he wasn't wearing extremely voluminous robes that tended to trip one up when running.
Suddenly, as he skidded around a corner, he beheld a glowing light coming from a room a few feet away. Curiosity aroused, he headed for that door and cautiously pushed it open, keeping his wand at the ready. But nothing happened, so he pushed it further and half entered the room.
In the centre of the room, there was a pillar stand on which rested a glowing orb on a plush red pillow. The rest of the room was in shadows cast the orb's light which continuously glowed brilliantly, died a little and then glowed again. Harry could not help but be a little entranced by it, after all, the rest of this house was dusty and old and here was a beautiful treasure in the centre of it all.
He came a little closer, still on high alert but a little more relaxed now. He was being drawn even closer now, it was as though he couldn't tear his eyes away from the orb's light. While a part of him was thinking this wasn't a good thing, the rest of him wanted to touch the orb, find out what it was supposed to do.
He was now level with it and as though it has sensed his presence, suddenly glowed even brighter. So bright in fact, that Harry had to shield his eyes, only lowering his hand when the light disappeared. In place of the orb was a round, shiny medallion which was a simple gold coloured on a silver chain.
Now very much intrigued, Harry reached forward and gently touched it. Nothing happened, so he picked it up and brought it closer for inspection. It had what looked like runes on the otherwise smooth surface but Harry had no idea what they meant. He ruefully mused he should have taken Ancient Runes instead of Divination, it would have taught him a lot more.
But just as he was debating what to do next, the medallion suddenly glowed once more and disappeared from his hands, only to appear a moment later, hanging from his neck. As he started from this, it glowed again but the glow spread throughout his whole body, a painless but now the less a rather alarming process.
But just as he opened his mouth to scream, yell or just gasp, there was a flash right in front of his eyes and he was suddenly gone from that room.
"Where am I?"
"Harry? Harry is that you?"
"Hermione?"
"Yes, it's me, what happened to you, did you find a strange medallion?"
"Yeah I did but..."
"Bloody hell!"
"Ron!"
"Ron!"
"Harry? Hermione? What the hell is going on, I can't see a thing."
"Neither can I, can't move either."
""We need to think of a way out of this."
"...So, any ideas Hermione?"
"I'm...I'm not sure, I've never heard or read anything about this."
"We're screwed."
"We're not screwed Ronald, we will get out of this, there must be a way."
"But how, we're just voices, I can't even feel anything."
"But you can still speak and hear, so we must still retain something. This is probably some sort of state of the mind."
"Some state of mind, I can normally see something."
"Really Ronald?"
"Oi, of course I can."
"I'm just saying..."
"Guys, can we focus here."
"Oh, sorry Harry, I forgot you were here."
"I could tell."
"I didn't mean...I can't see you."
"It's okay, this is pretty weird."
"Stupid glowing light..."
But as Ron said these words, the light suddenly flashed again and they found themselves suspended in animation. They could now see each other and move although not very far as they were being levitated in some sort of empty plain. For a moment, they simply stared at each other before Ron spoke again.
"Okay, this is a slight improvement."
This made his friends grin but before they could speak, a cold high voice suddenly spoke, echoing all around them.
"Poor fools, you have no idea just what you've stumbled across."
"Voldemort," Harry spat as Ron winced but only slightly. Hermione looked frightened but was gripping her wand tightly, ready for action.
The three of them were in a facing each other in a wide triangle shape but quickly glanced around in case Voldemort was about to pounce on them. But they couldn't see anything, just endless whiteness, reminding Harry of cartoon heaven. But then Voldemort spoke again, his voice high and gloating.
"When you touched those Medallions, you activated a curse, a very little known curse that I have found and will use to destroy the three of you once and for all."
"What, by blinding us?" Ron couldn't help but say out loud, his eyes popping even as he realised he'd spoken out loud.
"Oh no, that would be too easy, too quick. I have a far more fitting end planned for you all."
"Here we go," Harry thought, rolling his eyes. What was with Dark wizards and the need to gloat? They always had to stand there and tell you just how clever they've been, as well as say just how they're going to kill you. Harry had seen this ridiculous amount of times, it had saved him of course but it was really annoying at the same time.
"You see, you three will be forced to experience what could have been, if fate had chosen differently for you," Voldemort's voice carried on. "You will witness them and despair because they will be so horrible, you'll try to tear out your own eyes in horror."
"Really?" Harry said sarcastically. "That's it?"
"Yes Harry Potter, that's it. You'll be thrown from one dimension to another until your spirit breaks from the torture of it all."
"Okay," Harry said before he could continue. "Why are you speaking like that? It's weird, even for you."
There was a pause and then a half amused, half sighing voice said.
"Because this is how the curse is activated, I'm supposed to talk like a...what was the expression again...ah yes, like a James Bond villain."
"...Because?" Harry said, struggling to understand this.
"It's a cliché," Voldemort said simply. "And that's what this curse is Harry Potter, the curse of the clichés. I hope you enjoy it."
"What in Meriln's saggy left..." Ron started to say but there was once again...you guessed it...a blinding flash of light and the trio disappeared with Voldemort's mocking laughter in their ears.
Author's note. How many clichés did you spot in this chapter alone? Next time, find out what the first, horrible cliché is, can they survive it and the others? Read on to find out.
