~~~ My first attempt at both a Flack/Lindsay fic and a songfic.
I don't own the song - The Beatles do - nor the show - Jerry Bruckheimer does, I believe.
Anyway, I don't know how good this is, but thanks for any and all reviews. If I've gotten any of the lyrics wrong, I'm sorry, tell me and I'll correct them.
And yes, I took a bit of a "creative license" with Flack and Lindsay. But who knows, it could happen, it's just that they don't show you it on TV, right? :) ~~~
You say you want a revolution,
Well you know,
We all want to change the world.
While wheeling the damn plastic doll down the street, joking to Linds how at least you wouldn't have to pay for dinner, she decides to example her acting skills.
"A doll? I could understand if you dumped me for a real woman, but a doll?!" she says it nice and loud, making sure everyone on the street hears.
"Forgive my wife. She's not well." you mutter to some passerbyers.
You say it, and you don't know how it ended up so that Messer got Lindsay and you didn't get anyone at all. Messer didn't just get Lindsay. He got Aiden, too. You can't figure out, actually, how it is Danny's managing to pick up all the woman you two work with. What's wrong with you? You're every bit as good as him.
But you don't care about Aiden. Well, that's not true - you do. The same way you care about your sister, or about Stella. Aiden was a good person.
How you feel about Lindsay is something else, though. It's how, everytime she and Danny have a problem, she shows up at your apartment. It's how, every time she messes up in the lab because she's too distracted with Danny, she cries on your shoulder. It's how she goes to you for a laugh. It's how she goes to you for a smile. It's how she plants a kiss on your cheek and says, "Thanks, Don. You're a good guy."
That's who you are. That's all you've even been, to anyone.
Don. The good guy.
You tell me that it's evolution,
Well you know,
We all want to change the world.
You're good at your job. You know you are. It's a hard job, but you manage it. You never considered being anything else when you were a kid. And even now, if you had to re-do it all...well, you wouldn't. You'd keep things as they were.
Except.
Except you would have gotten to Lindsay first. You wouldn't have let Messer flirt and charm his way into her heart. He's your best friend. You'd never ill-wish Danny. But would you deprive him of his love?
Yes. Because his love is your Lindsay.
Changing the world. That's what all of you are doing. Putting the bad guys behind bars. Superheroes of the modern day. Right? That's what all of you are doing.
Superheroes always gets the girl. Isn't that how it goes?
So the question is, who's more super? You, or Messer?
But when you talk about destruction,
Don't you know that you can count me out,
Don't you know it's gonna be alright, alright, alright?
Since every time an attractive female walks in to your field of work Danny claims her (other than Stella, because she's out of both your leagues) you're a little apprehensive when you first encounter Angell.
And realize.
If you want her, you can pursue her. Danny isn't competition anymore.
But Lindsay....
Would you do that, to a woman like Jessica Angell? Date her? Flirt with her? Kiss her? When really, it's Lindsay Monroe you want? (A Lindsay Monroe who is, it would seem, inching closer to that hyphenated state of Monroe-Messer every day, a fact which just about breaks your heart).
Except you have to move on at some point, right? That's the healthy thing to do. And that's the mature thing to do. When it comes down to it, you're making a decision. And although you'd love it if you were the one calling her "Montana", if you were the one taking her home every night, if you were the ones she left little notes for, if you were the one she batted her gorgeous eyes at, if you were the one...
Well the fact is, you're not.
And you have a decision to make.
Lindsay or Danny?
Because choosing Danny is the proper, responsible, adult thing to do. It's the type of thing Don Flack does. Choosing to keep Danny as a friend (and thereby keep Lindsay as only a friend) is what you should do.
Yet if you chose Lindsay. If you decided that Messer wasn't all that important to you, if you decided to tell Linds how you felt, how much you...
You turn to Jessica Angell, sitting next to you in the police car. And you choose.
You choose her.
You say you got a real solution,
Well you know,
We all want to see the plan.
Why do you kiss Jess?
You can't say why. It just happens. You're fed up with your sister, fed up with everything, because it seems like the world is just falling apart at your feet...
And, maybe, the only way to stop it from unravelling was to kiss her.
Or - something like that.
Your tired, confused mind pesters, What about Lindsay? Lindsay? Lindsay? Cute smile, brown hair, great laugh. Do you remember her? What about her?
But you think, maybe you've fallen for Jessica Angell. Because now when Linds comes to you needing comfort, or help, you still tell her a joke, you still hug her tight, but instead of feeling careful happiness and a tinge of desperation, you feel ok. Like all you're doing is lending a hand to a friend, not upping your chances of making her look at you differently.
The thing is, you've wanted Lindsay for so long, you kind of forget what it's like to not want her.
But kissing Jess...
That was something new.
That was a spark.
You ask me for a contribution,
Well you know,
We're all doing what we can.
Danny isn't sure if he can handle Lindsay being pregnant.
Quite frankly, you aren't all too sure that you can, either.
Danny isn't sure that he will be a good father.
Danny doesn't know if he wants a kid right now.
Danny feels like he's in over his head.
Danny says he loves Lindsay so much he'd do anything for her.
Danny says he can't believe he put her in this position.
Danny feels like his heart is ripping in half.
Danny thinks it's all his fault.
Danny doesn't know how to tell Lindsay that he'll stay by her, no matter what. That he'll raise this child with her, whatever it takes.
Danny isn't sure how to convince Lindsay he loves her.
Hey Mes, you think, I've had that problem for about four years now.
It's different, Danny coming to you with a big issue. Actually, you wish he hadn't. You wish it had been Lindsay who came to you, distressed over a baby not yet born. Because you would have held her close, really close, and maybe worked up the courage to kiss her. At least, you would have said, "Linds. I don't care what Danny does. I'll never leave you."
Even with Angell in the picture.
Loving Angell is different than loving Lindsay.
As Danny finally finishes with, "I'm goina do it, Don. I'm goina be a dad." you say, "He-yyy!"
You think, Holy shit.
Your Lindsay is pregnant.
And it's with Messer's kid.
But if you want money for people with minds that hate,
All I can tell you is brother you'll have to wait,
Don't you know it's gonna be alright, alright, alright?
She hasn't come to you in a while.
Not since she became pregnant, and you and Jess became more serious.
But there's that knock on the door, the knock you recognize nearly instantly as hers. Once lightly, twice heavily, as if she's too scared to ask for help but too desperate not to.
You don't check through the peephole. With Lindsay, you never do.
"Linds," you say, "What'd you bring me?"
By which you mean both What takeout bag do you hold in your hand? and What's the big problem tonight?
Lindays stretches out her arm to reveal Chinese food before adding, "He asked me to marry him."
You stop short, because actually, you were focused on the Chinese food, thinking about all those cheesy stories where the engagement ring is put inside the fortune cookie, and wondering if you could get away with that with Lindsay. Not that you actually have an engagement ring, but hey.
So, marriage, you think.
Messer finally worked up the courage.
Good for him.
Damn his soul.
"Linds?" you shut the door and she plops onto your couch, so pregnant it's almost comical.
"I said no."
"Why?"
"Well, should have said yes? He only asked me because -" she gestures to her stomach.
"You should have said yes, Lindsay." Your words surprise you. They surprise her, too. You can tell.
Fact is, if Lindsay isn't going to be with you, you want her to be with Danny.
You sit down on the couch next to her, put your arm around her, and kiss the top of her head. You inhale the scent of her shampoo, for old time's sake.
"Anything else, Linds?" you ask.
"I just..." she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, "I really should have said yes?"
"Next time, Linds," you reply, "There will be a next time."
And you break into the Chinese food, offering it out to her. She gives you a grin and says, "Thanks Don, you're a good guy."
Like always.
But that's ok.
This time, you asked for it.
You say you'll change the constitution,
Well you know,
We'd all love to change your head.
"Ok, Flack, this is it. I'm going to do it."
"Going to...?" you prompt.
"You know, ask her to marry me. Should I get down on one knee or just take her to city hall?"
"She said no last time, didn't she? And besides, if Lindsay wanted to make a spectacle out of things, she'd let you know it."
"City hall, then."
"Of course." you smirk. The fact that you know Lindsay better than Danny gives you some sort of disgusting satisfaction.
"I'll surprise her with it."
Your face falls.
Yes. A surprise.
That's perfect. That's what you don't know about Lindsay. That she likes surprises. It's little things like that that Danny figured out and that you didn't. It's little things like that that decide who gets told You're a good guy and who gets told I love you.
Little things like that which manage to make Messer more super.
You tell me it's the institution,
Well you know,
You better free your mind instead.
A sweet baby girl.
Stella starts breaking out presents only seconds after Mac's been named godfather only seconds after, it seems, Lindsay's finished giving birth.
They don't know what the baby's name will be - Danny wants Lucy, and Lindsay wants Lydia - and you laugh. It's a happy time. A baby, for Messer and Linds? Craziness, you think. Will YOU ever have a child to call your own? Will Jessica, maybe? You try to imagine it. You can't quite, but...it's closer, hovering somewhere there on the edge of possibility.
As everyone laughs, talks and jokes, Lindsay says softly, "Flack." she motions for you to lean down, and when you do she whispers, "I have a middle name, though."
"You do?" you ask. A middle name before the first name. Well, it's a start.
"Samantha." she looks at you eagerly, awaiting approval. Your sister's name. She chose your sister's name for her baby.
Danny's taken notice now, and he grins at you. "We'd have it for a first name," he adds, "But my dad doesn't like the idea of a girl being called Sam."
You take a deep breath and try to keep away the tears. "No, no," you say, "I'm honoured. I'm...we're honoured." you're going to track down your sister later, and tell her to get in touch with Danny, or Lindsay, and tell them how honoured she is.
"You mean a lot to us, Don." says Lindsay.
You smile at her.
For the first time, being a good guy is almost enough.
But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know know it's gonna be alright, alright, alright?
You know that shit happens.
But why'd she have to die?
She was the first person you thought...maybe...and then...death...
No fair, you think. The first attractive woman to walk in to the field that Danny doesn't go after, who actually fell for you, who you actually loved, and she dies.
No fair. No fair. Jess can't have died. No.
You don't realize until she's gone how much you loved her. You should have told her. You did tell her, didn't you? You can't remember. You're suddenly paralyzed with fear thinking you didn't tell Jessica you loved her.
Because you did love her.
Back at your apartment, you can't sleep. When you close your eyes you see the bullet hole that bastard put in Jess, and similarily, the one you put in that bastard.
A knock on the door.
Once lightly - twice heavily.
You aren't going to answer, but then it opens on its own. Your heart quickens for a second, not sure what's going on, but then Lindsay shows herself, holding the spare key which you keep hiden above the door frame and saying, "Don Flack, creative you are not."
You try to muster up the energy to smile, but you can't.
This time, she shuts the door. This time, she comes to you. This time, it's you crying, pathetically, pitifully, into her shoulder.
"Are you ok?" she ask, when you've finished.
No.
You'll never be ok again. You've lost Lindsay for good. You know you have. She has a husband now, and a baby. And you've lost Jess. You've lost Jess even more so. Oh god, oh god. Jess.
But, "You're a good person, Lindsay Monroe."
That's all you manage to say.
Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright!
