Hello, readers! It's a new month, so how about a new story? The best part? It's a oneshot, so there's no hanging waiting for more! Isn't that utterly fantastic?
I got this idea... I don't even know how. You'll have to tell me if it's a decent one, but it's a bit early for me to be begging for reviews, so I'll hold off on that just a tad.
DISCLAIMER: Practically every element in this story, save the actual plot, belongs to Satoshi Tajiri, that is, if I understand intellectual property laws rightly, and I rather think I do. Even the characters are canon. Well, there is one nameless guy, but let's face it: he was probably invented by Satoshi Tajiri too. So yeah, read, please!
Planning Pays Off
"WAKE UP, YOU GUYS!"
Splash!
"YAAAH!"
It was the middle of the night. The moon shone down upon the scene, with a wet and shivering man, a wet and shivering Meowth, and a dry and slightly deranged looking woman holding an empty bucket.
The Meowth shook himself, sending water droplets flying towards the humans. With his fur standing on end, he frowned. "What was dat for, Jessie? We was tryin' ta sleep, weren't we, James?"
The man nodded in agreement, straining water out of his purple hair. "And was the water really necessary?"
The woman rolled her eyes. "Oh please, you babies needed a bath anyways, but that's not the point. I just had a brilliant, utterly foolproof plan to capture that twerp's Pikachu!"
Meowth and James exchanged glances. The Pokemon spoke for both of them. "Uh, Jessie, dat's sweet of ya, but don't we usually come up wit' da plans?"
Jessie crossed her arms. "Yes, and exactly how many of them have succeeded?"
"Um…"
"Zero, that's right," Jessie cut in. "And besides, I've worked it all out. This way, the twerps'll be unprepared!"
"How so, Jessie?" James asked.
She grinned. "How so, you ask? Why, because we're taking desk jobs for a few months."
"WHAA?!" The pair gaped at the redhead.
"Desk jobs?" James protested. "Do I look like someone who can work inside a, a… CUBICLE?" He shuddered, and Meowth scowled.
"Look whatcha did, now Jim's all freaked out! And I'm not too thrilled either, to tell ya da truth. What use is a Meowth in an office? What am I supposed ta do, get you guys coffee and ramen?"
But Jessie was shaking her head. "Please, I've got it all mapped out with Professor Sebastian. Now c'mon, get in the balloon, we're on a tight schedule!"
With that, she clambered into the balloon's basket, gesturing for the others to follow her. James glanced down at his Pokemon partner. Out of the corner of his mouth, he muttered, "Is it that time of the month or something?"
Meowth glanced up at the sky, then shook his head. "Moon's wrong. She's just being Jessie."
"I heard that!" Jessie's voice snarled. "Now hurry up or so help me I will leave you two here to rot!"
The others got into the basket without a word, and they were off.
"You're late."
Jessie scowled, climbing out of the balloon and onto the landing pad. "My apologies, professor, but our guide had trouble with the map and-"
"I have neither time nor interest in hearing your petty excuses," Professor Sebastian interrupted in his coldly calculating voice. "I am here for the science, not to sympathize with fools."
James and Meowth bristled, but Jessie was faster. "Of course, professor," she smoothly replied, moving in front of her partners. "The science is the priority here. And seeing as I know you to be one of the very best of the best, I went straight to you."
The scientist raised an eyebrow. "Says the woman who called me 'pointy'."
Jessie waved a hand dismissively. "That was before I witnessed your scientific genius with regards to Project R. In any case, I have a scientific inquiry to make."
The professor's other eyebrow went up. "Really. Come this way." He turned and began to head into his lab. Jessie kept pace with him, already discussing her idea.
James and Meowth noticed they were being left behind and hurried to catch up. But before they had gone more than a couple of feet, two burly Grunts stood blocking their path. "Sorry, fellas, you're on theft prevention," one growled, referring to a clipboard clenched in his gloved hand.
James blinked. "Theft prevention?"
"Code for 'watch the Rocket balloon and stay out of our way, punk'," the other grunt replied. James and Meowth looked ready to protest, but the Grunts glared at them until they returned, defeated, to their balloon.
"What's Jessie's problem, d'you think, Meowth?" James asked, confusion evident on his face.
Meowth shrugged. "Maybe she's sick of us messing everyt'ing up."
"Or maybe you read the moon wrong."
"Dat too."
They sighed. It was going to be a long… "Hey, Jim, how long d'you t'ink we's been here?"
"Uh…"
"Dat's what I figured."
"What do you suppose we did?"
"Who knows?"
Suddenly, Jessie leapt into the basket, clutching a burlap sack and grinning maniacally once again. James and Meowth jumped in shock.
"Jess! We tawt you'd be in dere for, I dunno, maybe a couple days?"
"Yeah, Jessie, what did you get, anyways?"
Jessie smirked. "None of your business, but we have to hurry or else we lose the twerps!"
Meowth scowled as he manned the controls. "Fine, don't tell us."
"Glad you're fine with it, Meowth, and no, I won't tell you!" Jessie replied in a sing-song tone.
"And how was dis a desk job, anyhoo? We didn't sit at desks, for one t'ing."
"Ugh, Meowth, will you stop being an ungrateful sourpuss and get us back to Sinnoh already?"
As the bickering escalated, James decided that, for once, he would stay out of it, thinking that there would be time enough for explanations when they returned to Sinnoh. And, as it happened, he was right. Sort of.
"Keep digging! But not too deep now!" Jessie called.
Meowth rolled his eyes and hefted another shovelful of dirt. "Hey, Jess, why aren't you helping out?"
Jessie rolled her eyes. "Oh, Meowth, you need to see more of the big picture. I am helping you… by supervising!"
James considered several witty comebacks, then decided it wasn't worth it.
"Come on, you're nearly done!" Jessie called, surveying their work. "Actually, you are done, excellent!"
James and Meowth heaved themselves out of the pit, then stepped back to survey their handiwork. "That gym leader, Byron, wasn't it? He'd be proud," James observed, wiping a dramatic tear from his eye.
"Yeah, dat's nice 'n all, but why's it so big and trench-like?" Meowth pointed out. And it was true; instead of the usual circular pit, the hole stretched to cover the entire path and was in actuality a bit shallower than usual.
Jessie grinned. "Ah, but you see, this is where that visit to the professor comes in." She upended her burlap bag onto the ground. Out spilled Pokeballs and what appeared to be tiny manacles, as well as three rubber suits, a couple spray cans, and a silvery bundle. The other two stared, nonplussed.
Jessie, however, was undeterred. "Pokeballs, go!" she cried. All of the red-and-white spheres cracked open, releasing quite a few Bulbasaur, all of whom were an unusual silver color. James and Meowth gaped at her.
"Nyah… nyah…" Meowth gasped, reverting to his primal language in shock.
"How on earth did you get all those oddly colored Bulbasaur?" James asked in astonishment. "I didn't even know there were that many oddly colored Bulbasaur to be had… wait a moment…" he fished around in his pockets for his stack of cards, then flipped through them feverishly until finding the one he needed. He stared at it, then at Jessie. "But, their odd coloring is green, not silver."
"I know that, they aren't silver naturally," Jessie explained, shackling the Pokemon's legs together. "They have a special coating that is impervious to lightning attacks or Razor Leaf attacks."
James nodded, then frowned. "Okay, I get the first one, but why be Razor Leaf-proof?"
"I'm getting to that. But right now I need to have these Bulbasaur in formation."
"Oh. D'you need our help, Jessie?" Meowth asked, having recovered human speech.
"Not necessary," came the reply. Minutes later, Jessie stepped back, surveying her work. There were twenty-one in all, shackled together in three rows of seven. Next, Jessie instructed the Pokemon to lower themselves into the pit with Vine Whip.
Meowth glanced down at them. "You're sure dey can breathe down dere, Jessie?"
"Yeah, sure, they'll be fine," she muttered, dragging the silvery bag over to the pit. She opened it and poured the contents out. Now the Bulbasaur unit was completely covered in a twelve-inch layer of leaves.
"What? How could you possibly fit all of those in there? What are they, anyways?"
"Razor Leaves. And the bag is designed special," Jessie replied, tossing it aside carelessly. "That's why the Pokemon are sprayed down, so that if there's any edges they won't be injured."
Meowth raised a paw timidly. "Uh, Jess, sure, the Bulbasaur won't get hurt, but what about dem twerps? I mean, I ain't saying I'm their friend or anyt'ing, but I don't wanna commit twerpicide, ya know?" James nodded in agreement, and even Jessie looked a trifle troubled.
"Well, Professor Sebastian did say he took the edge off the leaves, but I don't know that I trust him…" She frowned. "It'll be fine. The twerps are tough."
"So, Jessie, why the manacles? Why the Bulbasaur, in fact?"
Jessie turned towards James, pointing triumphantly at him. "Just the question I wanted asked, James. See, I had this brilliant idea. Our pits don't work because that annoying twerp and whatever twerpette girlfriend he's dragging around just send out there Pokemon, day is saved, we're blasting off again, yada yada yada. So then I realized what we were missing: a way to restrain them. So this is the plan: The Bulbasaur in that pit will have their Vine Whips raised to look like grass, an impression helped by all those lovely leaves that are practically at ground level. So then the twerps will walk on over it, lah di da, whoops, and then they'll be trapped in the vines! Then, one of the Bulbasaur will pass us Pikachu, who will go in… this!"
With a flourish, Jessie pulled what appeared to be a bell jar out from behind her back. Her partners gasped. "D-dat's one of Hunter J's!" Meowth stuttered. "How'd you get one of dose?"
Jessie shrugged. "That professor has a lot of stuff. I just borrowed a lot of it. So, when we have Pikachu, we set the little rat to statue mode, take him to the boss, and bada-boom-bada-bing, we'll have hit the big time!"
James stared. "Jessie. You. Are. A."
"GENIUS!" Meowth squeaked. Jessie glanced at him, and the Pokemon cleared his throat embarrasedly. "Sorry, ahem, GENIUS!"
Jessie allowed a small smile to grace her lips. "Thank you, thank you, but we need to suit up. The twerps'll be here soon, and I'd hate to spoil this lovely plan." The other two nodded, and together, they cleared all traces of their presence (save the pit) and were hiding behind a bush.
Ash marched along the path determinedly, followed by Dawn and Brock. "Isn't this great, guys?" he called over his shoulder. "We aren't lost, we just ate, and we haven't seen that annoying Team Rocket in da- WHAA!"
Ash's optimistic monologue was cut short as he tripped… over a rock. Brushing himself off, he blushed embarrassedly. "Whoops! I should look where I'm goi-OOF! AAAH!"
Brock and Dawn screamed along with him, as did Piplup and Happiny, for this time they had actually fallen into the Bulbasaur pit. Team Rocket grinned, then stepped out from behind the foliage.
"Now, guys," Jessie said, addressing her team, "I've also noticed that saying our motto gives the twerps time to regroup, so let's save it for the balloon ride, okay?"
"Sure thing, Jessie," James nodded, proffering the bell jar. Jessie snapped her fingers, and the vines holding Pikachu (who was trying - and failing - to Thundershock his way out) brought him close, then dropped him onto the base. Before the little Pokemon could attack, he was sealed in glass. James flicked the switch, and the yellow rodent froze, eyes still pleading for release.
"NOOO! PIKACHUUUU!" Ash howled.
"Can it, twerp!" Jessie retorted, cuing Meowth to bring the balloon down to their level. "It's been fun, really, we may have to keep in touch," she called. Then they rose up, up, up. Just before they were out of range, the Team recalled the Bulbasaur, dropping Ash and company into the pit. Then they sped off into the distance, as quickly as their hot air balloon would take them.
Meowth sniffled slightly. "Ya know, Jessie, I had my doubts, but you did it!"
"We did it," she corrected, smiling slightly as she clutched the bell jar. "Now let's hurry up and take this to the boss! I smell promotions!"
Ten days later, they stood in front of Giovanni, carrying between the three of them a large wrapped present.
"Hmph. This better be good," their leader grunted, stroking his Persian reflexively. The cat Pokemon hissed at Meowth, who surprisingly did not react. The joy of having captured Pikachu was apparently too great for him.
"Well, sir, it's been a while, but we finally captured it!" James announced. Together, the three of them opened the box. "TA-DAAAA!"
Giovanni blinked. So did his Persian. In unison, in fact.
"That's a Pikachu," he growled.
"Yes, we know!" Jessie squealed. James, however, had noticed his boss's lack of excitement.
"What is it, sir?" he asked.
"This is a Pikachu," Giovanni repeated. "However, all of your encoded communiqués clearly stated you had discovered a Missingno!"
"What? No, we've been hunting dis Pikachu, sir!" Meowth squeaked.
Giovanni glared, then pressed a button on his desk. A panel behind him slid back to reveal a screen. "On the left is the code word for Pikachu. On the right is the one for Missingno. It's Serve, not SWERVE! Do you idiots realize how much you've put us through? How many company dollars you've lost us? I'm gonna-"
Suddenly what had appeared to be a statue of a man moved forward, gesturing for a whispered conference. Giovanni grunted angrily, then turned to him. They muttered together for a few minutes, then the leader of Team Rocket turned back to them.
"Look. This was no easy feat, correct?" The trio nodded apprehensively. "Well, let's see if you can succeed… without all of the professor's toys. Think of it as a test of your ingenuity, if you will. Brink this, this Pikachu back to us, and then we'll talk about promotions. Sound good?" He even forced a smile.
The trio glanced at each other, then nodded. "We won't let you down!" Jessie chirped.
"Nope we won't!" the others agreed. Together, they raced out of their boss's office, leaving him with the statue man.
"You're probably right," Giovanni observed. "They're the least harm wandering Sinnoh."
The man smiled thinly. "Thank you, sir. I try."
Giovanni waved a dismissive hand. "Just don't let it get to your head."
Ash and company stumbled dejectedly into the Sunyshore Pokemon Center. The Nurse Joy looked up, saw them, and gasped. "Oh, hello over there! I have something for you!"
Ash looked up mournfully. "What?"
Dawn nudged Brock. "Why aren't you mobbing the nurse?"
Brock shrugged. "It's not the same without-"
"PI-KAAA!"
"PIKACHUUU!" Ash ran towards the desk, and Pikachu leapt into his arms. Immediately, Brock made a beeline for Nurse Joy, but before he could say a single word, Croagunk had incapacitated him with a well-aimed Poison Jab.
"I'm so glad you're back, buddy!" Ash cried, then noticed his Pokemon proffering a letter. Setting Pikachu on his shoulder, he opened up the letter. It read thusly:
Twerps,
That was too easy, but don't expect Pikachu back again. Team Rocket will triumph in the end!
Sincerely,
Jessie
James
Meowth [pawprint]
Ash grinned. "Meh, we're ready for whatever comes next, right, guys?"
"Definitely"
"No worries!"
"Pi-kaa!"
The End. You know, I've discovered that if I go too long without writing something, I get all worried and stressed. So I feel so much better now, like you wouldn't believe!
Now I happen to think that the whole Bulbasaur idea was pretty sweet. But maybe you disagree. Well, that doesn't bother me. In fact, I want you to tell me what bothered you about it, so that I can write better in the future. Review and let me know what you think! And also review if you liked it, in case that wasn't clear... But I do like to hear what you have to say. (Ooh! Unrelated to Pokemon but related to rhymes: I saw The Princess Bride this weekend and I loved it, loved it, loved it!)
See you next time! With another decent rhyme!
CarpeDiemEveryday
P.S. Hope you had a lovely All Saint's Day!
