When the Past Becomes Forever
Bella's Point of View
{Song of the Chapter: Puppets III (The Grand Finale) by Motionless in White feat. Dani Filth}
Chapter Rating: T for language and mentions of self-harm {I have a bit of a potty mouth oops }
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, except for the plot. Read on
It's been three years since the Cullens had abandoned me. For the first four months, I was, for lack of a better word, catatonic. I never responded to social interaction unless it was a direct question to me. I rarely ate; just enough to keep my broken heart pumping blood through my veins. The blood didn't last long in my veins after I became addicted to self harming. I'm proud to say I'm two years clean and razors no longer hold pleasure, just the memories of that time. Sleeping? Ha. I'm surprised I'm still alive after those horrible months; you can die from not sleeping for a certain amount of time. I mentioned only the first four months, not the rest, huh? Well, my dad Charlie broke me from my zombie state when he threatened committing me to a mental institution. After that, I got my head out of my ass (or broken heart, whichever you prefer) and graduated Valedictorian at Forks High School.
I decided to apply to Stanford University in California following graduation. I chose this because they offered my dream major in English, and also because I knew that my chances of seeing another sparkly face were slim to none. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind seeing Emmett, Rosalie, or Jasper again, but the rest of the family could suck my dick. They abandoned me without a second glance. I added Rosalie because she made it abundantly clear how she felt about me, and I respect that. Jasper is on the list because I had the time of my life with that family, except Jasper. That pixie bitch always kept us apart, and I will forever hate her for that, and Edward is hated by me for that exact same reason. Emmett was my big brother I never had, or wanted until I got a chance to know him. I wish I could see him again.
Instead of reminiscing of the family I lost, I decide to finally listen to the Introduction to Psychology lecture. I had already taken this class in Phoenix, but I loved it so much, I decided to take it again. My notebook lay in front of me, abandoned, until I began to jot down furiously messy notes that I wouldn't be able to read later. Soon enough, the class was over, and I had packed up my stuff to head back to my dorm, thankful that I only had one other class today and it was at night. Since I had recorded the lecture, I would be able to take much better notes once I got back home. Hopefully, my roommate Teagan wouldn't be in. We didn't get along that much, but made it work until we graduated in the spring. She wasn't there and I subconsciously let out a sigh of relief that I would, praying here, get to do all of my work in peace.
Within a couple of hours, I had my notes finished and a small meal of tacos was downed in a short amount of time, I realized I would have to jog to class. Shit. Thankfully, my class was only about two blocks away from my dorm, so I was ok. When I entered my Creative Expressing in Writing class, my eyes were immediately drawn to the back of the lecture hall. There was one of them here. I swear to Christ, if they know the Cullens, I will light someone up. Literally. I keep my favorite Bic lighter on me for this exact reason. Back to the vampire in my class. She was tiny-almost as tiny as my ex-best friend, Alice. The desk seemed to make her appear childlike. She had shoulder-length blonde hair and a heart-shaped, angular face. She must have sensed me staring at her because she turned to face me. A small smile graced her face and she waved me over to her. Hesitantly, I started her way, then decided to say "Screw it" and made my way over to the tiny little vampire. The air about her made her seem very friendly, and I could see myself being friends with her. I sat down next to her and pulled out a notebook and pencil. I decided not to be rude and introduce myself.
"Nice to meet you. Name's Izzy." I stuck my hand out to shake. She shook my hand, the once familiar cool touch but still slightly shocking.
"Well, Sug, it's nice to meet you. I'm Charlotte," she says with a big smile. It must be contagious because I feel one forming on my own face. The lecture begins, and I begin to jot down notes at an almost inhumane speed. When the professor's computer malfunctions when it tries to connect to the projector, I decide to talk to Charlotte.
"I know what you are," I say, in a volume no human would be able to hear unless they were right behind us. I heard Charlotte take a sudden gasp of unnecessary air.
"How?"
Not wanting to go too deep into details with such an unfamiliar person, I decided to give her the extremely chopped version.
"I dated one in high school. After almost becoming a snack for one, he dumped me." I told her, all in one breath, I guess, because I had to take a huge gulp of air when I finished.
"We'll finish this after class," Charlotte replied after a few seconds. I turned back to the front to continue listening to the professor. Before long, we were dismissed and Charlotte and I made our way out of the lecture hall. I didn't know where she wanted to talk, so I stopped walking off the path out of the building.
"Where do you want to talk?" I ask Charlotte.
She chuckled lightly. "Let's talk at my place. This isn't exactly a conversation we need humans listening to." I laughed too.
"Lead the way." She led me to a sleek black and crimson Harley. I dropped my jaw in awe of the sleek but somehow delicate bike; it fit Charlotte perfectly. She handed me a helmet.
"Strap up and get on." I put my helmet on and adjusted it. She drove us up to my dorm. How she knew it was mine, I don't know, but she stopped and got off.
"I figured that this conversation could get long and you might want stuff for tomorrow," Charlotte says, answering my confused look. I walked into the building, heading downstairs to where my room was. I unlocked the door, letting it fall shut behind Charlotte. I grabbed a small duffle bag and grabbed a change of clothes, pajamas, and my toiletry bag. I zipped it all up and slung it over my shoulder. I grabbed my school stuff since my first class was at 10 in the morning. I grabbed some scratch paper to leave a note for Teagan telling her I was with friends and to not worry. No need in her calling the cops since I wasn't there in the morning. She was used to me always being there and not leaving.
"Let's go." We head back to Charlotte's sexy motorcycle and in a few seconds, we're tearing through the California countryside. She takes a sharp right onto a hidden driveway that I would've had a hard time finding. In comparison, it was even harder to see the Cullens' driveway in Forks. About a mile later, a small bungalow appears, surrounded by forest. She grinds to a stop in the garage. A tall vampire with sandy brown hair appears in front of us. He's tall, probably about 6'4" or so.
"WIFEY!" The tall vampire yells. She chuckles at his antics as he picks her up off the bike and spins her, kissing her on the cheek. He puts her down, tucking her under his arm, where she fits perfectly. The size of the two together nearly brings me to tears; they remind me of Jasper and Alice. I fight back against the traitor tears, and thankfully, neither noticed my almost-breakdown.
"Well, hello, there. I'm Peter Whitlock, and who are you?" He says, extending a hand for me to shake. I take it, shaking it firmly.
"Izzy." Peter is obviously confused by my lack of last name, but doesn't question it.
"Well ladies, let's get this show on the road." That confused me, but whatever. I just hope to whatever being is listening that this isn't another eight-ball. I don't need one of those again. He grabs mine and Charlotte's hands, leading us into a small but modern kitchen with white cabinets, stainless steel appliances, and a small peninsula with some stools. I could see a dining room with a small table through the left doorway and what appeared to be a living room through another doorway. We went through the second doorway and a large black couch in front of a gigantic TV appeared which was mounted over a fireplace with a stone hearth. We sat down on the couch, with Peter pulling Charlotte down to sit on his lap. I sat across from them and waiting for someone to start this conversation. Peter clears his throat in a very human gesture.
"So Izzy, Char tells me you know what we are. Care to explain?"
"I moved to Forks, Washington to live with my dad and to let my mom travel with her new husband, Phil. On my first day at school, I noticed a group of insanely beautiful people in the corner of the lunchroom with full but completely untouched trays. I was drawn to the boyish one with chaotic copper hair. What confused me most was his eyes; they were black. I couldn't stay away from him. I soon discovered what they were, but I didn't care. I was "in love" with Edward, and his whole family. Then on my eighteenth birthday, stupidly, I sliced my finger on some paper." I took a deep breath to stabilize myself. Charlotte squeezed my hand in a sign of comfort.
"Take your time doll," she whispers.
"Thanks. This is the first time I've really told what happened then. Anyway, Jasper, who was mated to my best friend Alice, attacked. From then, Edward took me home and didn't stay like he usually did. The next day, he asked if I would accompany him on a walk through the forest. He told me that I didn't belong in a dangerous world like his. What broke me is that he said he didn't want me anymore. If that wasn't bad enough, he left me. Alone. In an unfamiliar forest. 13 hours passed before I was found by Sam Uley from the La Push Reservation." I frantically wiped the fallen tears away. Charlotte wrapped me in her arms, whispering words of comfort into my ear as she rocked me. Peter broke the silence that had wrapped around the three of us.
"What did you say the vampire who attacked you was named, there Sugar?"
"Jasper. Jasper Hale. Why?" Did these two know Jasper? I hope so. Maybe then I could tell him everything about that shitty day that was supposed to celebrate me being an adult or something.
"Well…we know Jasper. He's our sire and my non-biological brother." I gasped at his words. This was my chance to make finally make the amends I need to.
"Really?! Have you kept in touch with him? Have you seen him? Do you know how to reach him?" Peter chuckled at my enthusiasm.
"Slow down, there. You're gonna pass out from lack of oxygen and neither of us know CPR."
I blushed. "Sorry." Both of them chuckled at me and my trademark blush.
"First, yes, I have kept in touch with him enough to know what happened on your birthday. Yes, I have seen him, and I do know how to reach him, to an extent." I gasped.
"How? I need to talk to him." Peter stands up, and at first, I'm irritated, then he gestures for me to stand and follow him. We go up a tiny, hidden flight of stairs to the second level. We stop at the first door off of the landing. Peter knocks. All of a sudden, I get it. Jasper is here.
A sound from the other side of the door startles me. A whimper of either pain or sadness, I wasn't sure. Peter cracks the door the slightest bit.
"Major? There is someone here to see you." He looks up at that, and I feel my heart break. His black eyes are devoid of any emotion, life, anything. The bruise-like shadows under his eyes are so prominent, making his eyes appear to be sunken in. If it's even possible, he looks even paler than before. He looks like I did at one time: a broken, catatonic shell of what he once was. He looks fragile, breakable, not like the vampire I knew back in Forks. I mean, I'm still not even close to what I once was when he knew me, but I'm working on it.
I exhale a sigh of relief. "Jasper." Peter nudges me, not too gently, into the room and leaves me with Jasper. I walk to where he was sitting curled up on the bed and crawl up to sit next to him. He rolls over to face me.
"Hey Jasper." He looks up at me, acknowledging he heard me, but didn't make a sound. However, he places a hand on my neck, feeling my pulse under my skin. He starts to make a quiet purring sound, as if he was a contented cat. I wondered why, but decided to file it into the back of my mind to ask Charlotte about later; she would probably know. His flat black eyes bored into my chocolate brown ones, and the emptiness almost brings me to tears. I feel this deep seeded urge to comfort him, so I do. I pull him into my arms, and he crawls into them willingly. He starts to dry sob, breaking my heart for him even more. I pull him into my lap, and when he's settled, I rock us softly.
"Shhh, Jasper. I've got you; I'm right here and not going anywhere." At that, his sobs quieted to whimpers and I continued to soothe him the best that I could. His sadness was slightly oozing onto me and it was taking my whole being to not cry with him, but I held them back. I clearly needed to be the strong one here. I need to get some happy emotions into him. I begin thinking about puppies and kittens because I know it's the quickest way to make me feel warm and fuzzy. The whimpers slow down too, so I know I'm passing my positive emotions to him. Thank god that worked. He looks up at me.
"Thank you, Bella." I smile at him in response, kissing his head, resuming the rocking. It seems to help, and I will do whatever it takes to bring him back to himself. He goes limp in my arms, and I panic.
"Peter! I need you here ASAP!" I say in my normal volume, knowing he'd here me easily. In seconds, he and Charlotte are at my door.
"What's wrong, sugar?" He looks at Jasper in my arms, and he relaxes his panicked posture, and seeing that, I do too.
"He fell asleep. I didn't know vampires could, but with the lack of blood in his system, I can understand why. His body is trying to recover from the lack of energy," he says.
I nod. "How are we going to get him fed? He clearly hasn't moved much," I reply.
"We'll give him some donated blood bags until he can go hunt for some fur to munch on himself. We'll leave you too now. Try sleeping, Bells."
"Can you go get my bag?"
"It's right here at the door by the bathroom whenever you're ready," he says.
"Can you take him now? I need to take a human moment." He nods, gently lifting Jasper off of me and placing him back on the bed. He whimpers and it breaks my heart. I take off my shirt, and Peter's eyes widen in shock.
"Give him my shirt. The scent should last until I get back." He shakes himself from his shocked state and places the shirt by Jasper's nose, the whimpers stopping almost immediately. He then leaves with a small wave that I return. I go to the bathroom, take off my makeup, and put on my pajamas. I go back to Jasper, who is tossing and turning, as if he's in a nightmare. I would know all about nightmares. I shake him gently, trying to wake him.
"Jasper! Wake up, sweetheart. Come back to me." His eyes shoot open, locking on me. He relaxes immediately when he sees me.
"I thought that you left and I panicked," he stutters, starting to sob again. I pull him to my chest, resuming the rocking, seeing how well it worked the last time. He calms down, breathing in my scent. I rest my head on his, breathing in his scent of musk, leather, and peppermint, a scent that is solely Jasper. His unnecessary breathing settles again, and I know he fell back asleep. I lay back down, bring Jasper with me. I fall asleep with a purring vampire in my arms.
So that's the introduction to my story! I know it's totally different than what was here, but I'm excited as to where this is going.
I am looking for a beta, so if you would be down for that, drop into my PMs and we can talk.
Later lovelies!
~B
