Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who
Angie and Artie looked towards their house from where they walked on the sidewalk. Angie gave a sigh of joy.
"Yes," she exclaimed happily as she couldn't locate the blue box that stood beside the driveway from time to time. Clara, her nanny, must've woken up and decided to take a trip with her time-traveling boyfriend. "Finally, no one home to boss us around."
"Isn't nobody home a bad thing?" Artie asked her.
"Oh please, it's the best thing in a looong time," she told him.
Just as they approached the house they heard a familiar whirring noise and they turned around to see the TARDIS start to materialize.
"Oh, come on!"
Several seconds later, the Doctor opened one of the doors and poked his head out to scan the area. He didn't even seem to notice the children. He poked his head back into the TARDIS and closed the door.
What's he doing? Angie thought. Sure, her nanny's boyfriend was weird, and frankly, quite gullible, but he could be boring sometimes.
She saw when he came back, carrying Clara in his arms. She seemed unconscious and possibly injured. Even Angie wouldn't want to see her nanny injured, as much as she would love the new-found freedom it would give her.
"Sorry," the Doctor whispered as he accidentally bumped Clara's head on the door frame of the TARDIS. He did his best to close and lock the doors. He spun around and faced the children.
"What are you doing?" Angie asked him, crossing her arms.
"Oh, we…uh," the Doctor stammered as he looked down at Clara. "I know this looks bad, but it isn't what it looks like."
"Oh, really?"
The Doctor seemed to pout a bit, before lashing out his only comeback, "Well, at least I didn't go to the cinema when a certain someone told me not too!"
"Did you kidnap Clara?" Artie asked as him. Yes, how did the Doctor acquire Clara in such a way?
"It's a long story, I'll explain when I put Clara down somewhere," he responded. Angie sighed and opened the door for him. The Doctor, in turn, bounced excitedly in.
The Doctor placed Clara gently on her bed just like he had after she had been downloaded by a Wi-Fi network. He lovingly stroked her forehead as she took in a deep breath. She was beautiful even when rendered unconscious. She was even more beautiful when she was awake. Her brown eyes gleaming with curiosity and excitement, how her brow furrowed when she was confused, the way her hair could spin 180 degrees and still lay flat. He stopped himself. How could he think that? Clara was just a friend, nothing more and nothing less. It's not like she would ever return his affections anyway.
He spun around and grabbed a pitcher to pour a glass of water that would stand next to her bed. He made sure she was comfortably wrapped in her duvet and bed sheets. Next, he found a blank sheet of paper and quickly jotted something down on it. He folded it, neatly wrote her name on the front, and then leaned it against the glass of water. Lastly, he took a half-dried rose from the inside of his jacket and placed it in the pitcher of water. He gave her a loving look and spun around to face the children.
"Righty ho then, time to start explaining," he smirked with a clap of his hands. He briskly walked through the doorway and galloped down the stairs. The children gave their nanny one last doubtful look before following the alien downstairs.
The Doctor had just put a kettle on when the children had come downstairs. He looked at them with a faked smile on his face, just letting a bit of fear seep through.
The Doctor started his story at the game of Blind Man's Bluff, explaining how Clara had just woken up from her conference when she began to explain that the Great Intelligence had found his grave, and that he had to go to Trenzalore to save his friends.
"What happened once the Great Intelligence opened your tomb?" Artie asked as the kettle began to sing. The Doctor carefully took it off and turned the stove off.
"A lot of bad things started to happen," he carried the tray of sweet-smelling tea to the kitchen table. He poured himself some tea and sat down, the children sitting across from him.
"First thing that happened was the Great Intelligence walking into the scar tissue that I left in the universe. Now, time traveling leaves little tears in the universe, and the scar tissue that I left in it remains when I die. It was my entire time stream, from my beginning on Gallifrey to my fall in Trenzalore." He took a long, annoying drink of his tea. "When the Great Intelligence stepped through it, it made copies, echoes, of him in my timeline and he began to kill me all at once. Every star system, planet, and person I ever saved started to disappear and die. The whole universe started to cave in on itself."
"But it didn't, or else we wouldn't be here," Angie pointed out.
The Doctor smiled, "Clever girl, but do you know how Clara saved the universe?"
Angie and Artie looked at each other in confusion. This pleased him and he began to lean in a bit.
"In order for the universe to be restored someone had to sacrifice themselves and be born, live, save me and die a thousand and one times. That completely selfless impossible human being was Clara. She jumped into the timeline and created a thousand copies of herself and threw them across my timeline so that I never died; but she would take my place in the process," he grew more serious towards the end and looked older. The house grew quiet.
"Doctor?"
The Doctor looked over to Clara and gave a pleasant smile. "Speak of the impossible girl. Why not sit down and have some tea with us?"
She looked over at the spot and the tea. She had her hand on her head, as if it hurt. He wouldn't have liked to see her hurt, it's painful to see someone you like hurt.
"Yeah." She stumbled slowly to the empty chair besides the Doctor and sat down. She looked a bit disoriented. He noticed her rub her head as she seemed to stare off into the distance. No, actually, her gaze sat upon the teapot and a cup next to it.
"Clara?" The Doctor put a hand on her shoulder. She didn't respond. "Clara, what's wrong?"
"The tea," she said as she stared at the tea. The Doctor looked over at the tea, and seeing nothing wrong with it, looked back at Clara. There was something awfully wrong about her. He looked at her eyes and saw them shake. She wasn't seeing things right either. He quickly grabbed her other shoulder and looked her in the face.
"Clara, what's wrong?" The Doctor asked her. She just stared at the tea like she was off seeing some distant planet or galaxy; or there was something wrong with the tea that he just couldn't notice. She jerked her arms away and started to rub her forehead quickly as she snapped back into reality.
"Sorry, what?"
"Clara is everything alright?" The Doctor asked her.
"Yeah, yeah," she continued to rub her forehead.
"You said something about the tea," he reminded her.
"Yeah could I have some?" She sighed as she looked at it warily. The Doctor nodded and grabbed the teapot. He began to pour when Clara spoke up, "Pour it carefully, and only halfway. Don't add anything." He looked at her cautiously and handed her the mug.
"How does your head feel?" He asked her. She gave a slurred grunt and took the tea.
"I'm going to take a guess and say that's a 'not good at all'," he said as he took out his sonic screwdriver and waved it in front of her eyes. He brought it close to his face and observed it, twisting it around until he got the results he wanted. "You never answered me," he looked at her, "how does your head feel?"
She looked at him as she sipped at her tea and then looked at the kids.
"Angie, Artie, go outside or upstairs, the Doctor and I need to talk." The kids followed her command and began to hop up the stairs out of sight and out of mind. The Doctor looked at her suspiciously. Something wasn't right with his impossible girl. Perhaps she brought something out of the timeline with her? No, that would be impossible. He placed a hand on her and rubbed her back reassuringly. He leaned in and waited for her response.
"It hurts really badly, like it's full, but not full," she tried to explain. She placed the tea down.
"What do you remember from my timeline?"
"Less and less," she rubbed her temples harder.
"That's what I thought," he brooded.
"Doctor?"
"Yes?"
"I don't think I'll be able to keep my tea down," she winced.
"It's alright," he told her as he brought her closer. He helped her up to the bathroom and left her there, waiting outside the door.
He wandered around the house and looked out the video screen to see if Mr. Maitland was on his way back yet. He didn't want to hear Clara. He was coming home, in fact. The Doctor straightened his bow tie and readied himself for the meeting with Clara's employer.
He opened the door and came inside.
"Doctor," he greeted him.
"Mr. Maitland," he smiled. "How was your journey to the neighbor's?"
"Good, good, Clara awake yet?" He asked with worry.
"Dad!" Artie rushed down the stairs and embraced his father in an enormous hug.
"So how's Clara?" Angie asked him with a single quirk of an eyebrow.
"Fine, a bit of a scrambled head but that's to be expected." The Doctor explained a bit proud of himself for figuring it out.
"Is she awake?" Mr. Maitland asked.
"Yes, she's just a bit sick," he gestured towards the bathroom door. "Scrambled head," he pointed out again.
"What happened?" He asked as he began to grow worried.
"Long story, I'll explain later," the Doctor said awkwardly.
He spun around to see Clara standing in the door frame.
"Clara!" He said in excitement. She quickly started to lean on the door frame weakly, as if she couldn't support herself. "Clara?" He grew deeply concerned as she seemed to lose her balance. He rushed over to her. "Clara!" He asked her again, his hands on her face. She planted her head in his chest with a small, "oof" as soon as he asked.
"It's alright, I got you, I've got you." He whispered as he kissed her forehead. He swung her legs up and carried her in his arms. He spun around to face the others, "She passed out."
"Right," Mr. Maitland sighed, "let's take her upstairs to bed then."
The Doctor led the parade up the stairs and to the room Clara slept in. He placed her gently in the bed and wrapped the duvet and sheets neatly around her again.
"Doctor…" Clara whispered as she took a deep breath. Her eyes were half-open as she looked at him wearily.
"Hey, Clara," he whispered back gently as he stroked her head. "How are you feeling?"
"It hurts," she softly cried in pain.
"I know, I know, it's going to hurt for a while," he explained. "The TARDIS is erasing some of your memories; it's not a pleasant experience. You jumped into my timeline, the TARDIS is erasing your memories of my future so you don't accidently, or purposefully, reveal anything about my future. The paradoxes would-" he cut himself off as he saw the hurt and confused look on her face. She was obviously in pain from the way her nose contorted and the way her eyebrows sat crookedly on her face. He hated that look. He decided that he would explain to her later, if she could remember what he wanted to talk to her about.
He stroked her cheek with his thumb as he looked into her eyes and his expression melted as he realized something: she still looked beautiful.
"Just try to get some rest," he said planting a kiss on her head. She was asleep when he looked at her again. He quickly cleared his throat and spun around. "Looks like I have some more talking to do."
Clara rubbed her eyes as she began to stir in her bed. She gave a small moan as put the palms of her hands on her temples to try to soothe the pain that creeping in. She tried not to cry as memories pursued it.
It was one of the painful memories, the ones she wished she didn't have to remember. She was on Gallifrey, chaos was ensuing as the last days of the Time War approached. Mothers held children, men clutched wives, and children wept loudly. She turned behind her to see a young Timelady who cried out for an, "Arkytior" and her father. She didn't know who they were but she presumed they were family. That's when she started to crack like an egg and break into a nervous bout of crying. It was over. It was all over and she didn't even know what it was. She looked up at the sky, hearing a familiar sound: the sound of a TARDIS. That's when Gallifrey grew silent and every being that lived grew silent as they realized that this was the Timelords' end. They respected that. She clung to the beautiful sound in hopes that perhaps at some point the TARDIS would sweep her away and save her from such desolation. She knew better, but it was good to hope. Then the machine's sweet engine faded away and everything grew white and painful. Thankfully, it ended only a few seconds later but with a horrid realization; Gallifrey was destroyed.
Clara finally opened her eyes as the headache softened a bit. She lay there for a while as she contemplated the memory. Had she just remembered…Gallifrey? And not just any Gallifreyan memory but the day the Doctor had exploded it.
The Doctor. Her thoughts about dying on an exploding planet were quickly replaced with thoughts about the Doctor. Was this why he looked so old and tired when he was sad? Was it him contemplating his old life, before he began to run away from every thought, action, and person in his past? Perhaps that was why he didn't sleep at night.
Her eyes wandered carefully around the room to see if there was anything to take her mind off the painful distraction of exploding homes and a spaceman she couldn't be with. They caught a note that had been left there earlier by the Doctor. She hadn't noticed it until know. She snatched it from the glass of water it had leaned on and opened it. She began to read:
Dear Clara,
If you're reading this you must have woken up by now and I'm not here. I didn't think this would actually, properly happen but it did and I apologize for that. I should probably start filling you in on what has happened within the last 24 hours. After you passed out in my time stream I pulled you out and Vastra, Jenny, and Strax helped me take you out of my tomb (I needed to rest for a bit. Doing things like that can really wear you out, can't they?) After about 15 minutes the three sealed the door to my tomb and I carried you out and away from the TARDIS wreckage. When we were walking back you seemed to gain a bit of consciousness and insisted on putting you down because you were "completely fine." (I don't know if you remember this bit which is why I'm telling you) I allowed you to walk (or limp more like) for a bit before you began to slip back into unconsciousness. You seemed to go into small "fits" where you were conscious, and then unconscious and then conscious again and so on and so forth. By the time we reached the TARDIS you were unconscious again and I managed to take the three "Victorians" home while keeping an eye on you. Oh, and the three are hoping you feel better as well. After that I took you home and put you in bed and you're caught up to now. Come downstairs or try to find me if you feel up to it. Get better!
Your very sincere and hopeful friend,
The Doctor
P.S. I've added some modifications to the note since you came downstairs. Mr. Maitland is currently holding me up and I think he wants to call your father. I'll try to convince him to think otherwise though; we wouldn't want to upset him. And some new guidelines I need you to follow:
Don't come downstairs
You might likely be possibly injured, call for me as soon as you can so I can scan you and make sure you're alright.
Don't eat or drink anything.
If you need anything, shout for me, I don't want you coming downstairs. In fact, don't even get out of bed for that matter.
Don't worry about the kids, we're watching them.
Try to rest. I would highly recommend going back to sleep.
If you need to talk about any memories or bits of the time stream to me call for me.
Just call me when you wake up and you won't have to worry about half the stuff on this list.
Clara rubbed her eyes and looked at the door. She is exhausted, despite the large amount of sleep she had received. She looked back over the list and then the door again. She put on a determined face and put the note down. The Doctor didn't know how she felt physically, mentally and emotionally. Especially emotionally; she was a bit upset at him due to a couple of memories and things that she remembered in his time stream.
She quickly sat up and then stopped as her head started to hurt again. She flopped back down in her bed and began to try to wait it out. She is tempted to shout out the Doctor's name but stopped herself. She was upset with him, right? How could she forget that?
This memory was different from the other one. There was a man there. She couldn't give an exact name, but she guessed he was the Doctor. They were standing in the TARDIS while he went on about some absolutely amazing and fantastic thing he wanted to show her. All she felt was pain. Everything was painful and she couldn't get rid of it. The Doctor seemed to notice this because he stopped smiling. He quickly rushed over to her and asked her what was wrong. He kept repeating her name until she screamed. He pulled her close and began to rush her somewhere. She didn't know where she was going but all she could focus on was the pain. And then suddenly the memory started to fade away to black.
She couldn't remember the memory anymore. All she could figure out was that she had remembered something.
She began to see the room as the darkness etched away. The dream must have been bad because the Doctor was there now. Had she screamed? He was waving his sonic screwdriver in front of her face.
She shut her eyes and groaned in annoyance, "Stop waving your toy in front of my face."
She half-opened her tired eyes and saw him a bit taken aback from her snap.
"What? Did I do something?" She said as she rubbed her eyes. The Doctor shook off the sonic screwdriver comment and bent down to eye-level with her and gently placed his thumb on her cheek.
"You screamed, is everything alright?" He asked her softly.
"Yeah, I think so," she murmured, "I think I was remembering something."
"What was it about? Please talk about it." The Doctor urged her as he sat on the edge of her bed. She furrowed her eyebrows and her forehead crinkled in confusion.
"I don't…remember…"she looked at Mr. Maitland and then the Doctor. "Was it…bad?" She was really, properly scared now. What was so awfully terrifying that she couldn't even remember it anymore? The Doctor looked at George for some reassurance and then put on a fake smile as he grabbed Clara's hand and squeezed it.
"No, just a scream was all," he informed her. She nodded like it was some sort of programmed function. She didn't know what was going on or what was happening but she just decided she was going to go with it. She suddenly realized something that seemed to jolt her awake. She quickly sat upright.
"Where are the kids?" She asked. She hoped they were alright. Perhaps they were coping well with whatever it is that was going on with her. Or they could be breaking down and getting upset as their absolutely fantastic and beautiful nanny battled whatever war was raging on inside her head. She couldn't bear to think of them like that.
"Don't worry, Clara. They're at school, perfectly alright." George explained gesturing outside.
"A more important question would be how you're feeling?" the Doctor asked her. Clara rubbed her eyes again to avoid eye contact.
"Tired," she finally said.
"Then sleep," he urged as he stroked her hand with his thumb soothingly. She shook her head. It wasn't that she didn't want to; she is exhausted for that matter. It had been that she didn't want to have any more nightmares, or bad memories of the Time War. Of all things now that was what currently scared her the most now. Not the Doctor, not his time stream, not any aliens or running, not the children, but Gallifrey's final days. Was this how the Doctor felt? Not sleeping because he didn't have to but because he was afraid to. That if he did fall asleep he'd discover that he was really on Gallifrey awaiting his demise? She tried not to think about it.
The Doctor looked at her in the eye as sadness and confusion pained his face.
"Why not?" he coaxed her as he leaned forward and clasp his other hand on hers.
She continued to shake her head and pulled him in for a hug as she fought the urge to cry.
"Shh," the Doctor whispered as he rubbed her back and tried to comfort her. He saw George out of the corner of his eye gesture that he had to go. The Doctor gave him a "thumbs up" as he began to rock Clara back and forth. George quietly left the room to go to work. "Please Clara, tell me what you saw."
The tears began to stream from her eyes as she remembered screams and crying children. Dead people mourning as fireworks blazed brightly through the sky. Hatred in its organic form screaming curses and pulling random people off the street to condemn them to their everlasting death. Those people were lucky. They were the ones who were at peace. The others grew silent as the final sound they heard was a peaceful invention of theirs stolen and turned against itself. This one, however, was a kind soul that mourned with her weary traveler. The one that never slept; the one that stole women and took them to see the stars; the one that never turned his back on people he loved and only did so once on that day. The final day.
She pulled him closer and then away. He had the blood of so many on his hands, planets even. How did he live like this, remembering the worst war in the history of the universe? Not only that but ending it.
He grabbed her arms gently and squeezed them reassuringly. He looked into her eyes.
"Please tell me what's wrong." He begged her.
"I remember it," she sniffed sadly. "I remember all of it."
"Clara, I can't help you if you don't tell me," he explained to her. She shook her head again.
"I can't," she murmured. It was one of those memories that were even too painful for the Doctor to bring up. The Time War had that sort of effect. One that plagues your mind and makes your body sore and you can't help yourself and all you can do is curl up and cry. The Doctor nodded respectfully.
"But please, sleep. You need to rest, Clara. Your mind is under a lot of stress now as it tries to sort out a thousand and one lives in your head now. The TARDIS isn't helping much either," he remarked.
"Why?" she asked in confusion.
"The TARDIS doesn't like the fact that you retained knowledge of my future," he sighed. "I wasn't in long enough to let it sink into my memory but you were in their more than long enough to let the memories sink into your head. She's afraid that you're going to 'spill the beans' about something important in my timeline at some point. So she's erasing your memories in the future up until this point."
"That could explain some of the headaches," Clara observed.
"Yes, now go to sleep." He told her off. She shook her head again.
"I can't sleep, Doctor." She told him again. He put his fingers on her temples.
"Would you like me to help?" He asked her. She reluctantly nodded. "Alright then, just relax, Clara. Just relax." He closed his eyes and telepathically transmitted a message to her brain that translated into, "sleep."
Clara almost instantly passed out again and the Doctor gladly caught her and gently placed her in bed. He pulled the covers up over her and watched her sleep. Her rhythmic breathing was gentle and placid. He set a stray piece of hair back behind her ear lovingly as she continued to doze. He sighed before pulling up a chair and sitting beside her bedside. He took her hand and gently kissed it.
"We're home!" Angie shouted from downstairs. The Doctor looked towards the door and then quickly back to Clara as he heard her start to stir. "Shh," he whispered as he stroked her cheek with his thumb.
"Hello?" Angie shouted again. He started to panic a little as he heard Clara groan a bit. He quickly jumped up and hopped down the stairs.
"Oi, be quieter. Clara's sleeping." He hushed the children urgently.
"Still?" Angie said as she quirked her eyebrows in surprise.
"Yes; I mean, no. I mean," the Doctor sighed and waved his hands in confusion. "I'll explain while I get some snacks. Would you like snacks?"
"Yes please," Artie smiled. The Doctor quietly clapped his hands and walked into to kitchen. He opened a cupboard and pulled out a packet of Jammie Dodgers. He grabbed a plate and poured the cookies on a plate.
"Here you go, nice after-school snack," the Doctor said as he took one and ate it himself.
"So, what's the status update on Clara?" Angie asked the Doctor curiously.
"She woke up a couple of hours ago. I had to force her back to sleep because she refused to. Wouldn't tell me why." The Doctor started to rumble.
"Maybe she had another nightmare," Artie suggested while nibbling on a cookie. Clara had a terrible nightmare that night. They couldn't manage to wake her up so she was just in bed screaming and crying her heart out. It broke both of his.
"Maybe," the Doctor mumbled.
"DOCTOR!" a screeching shout pierced through the quiet. And all three of them jumped in alarm and ran up the stairs.
They came into Clara's room to see her having a fit. She was moving about in her bed, tears streaming from her eyes and her breathing sharpened and was quicker. "Doctor!" she shouted once more.
"Clara." The Doctor said her name as he rushed to her side. By the time he reached her, however, she had already stopped.
"What happened to her?" Angie asked.
"The memory erased in the middle of her remembering it." He explained as he checked her vital signs. He scanned her with the sonic screwdriver. He snapped it open and lifted it up so that he could observe it. "The TARDIS is almost done with her memory," he stated. "It should be done sometime tonight."
"So she's not going to have nightmares again?" Artie asked. It was obvious that the boy was afraid.
"No, in fact, they might get worse as the TARDIS cleans up," he murmured. "I'll bring her to the TARDIS tonight so you can't hear her. I don't want you to worry."
Clara tossed in her sleep unknowingly. It wasn't a sour dream, not in the least. This dream was about her first trip in a TARDIS. It wasn't a steady flight, as it was only her father taking her out and she didn't know how to control it yet. He had owned a Type 49 TARDIS, which was a bit old in her opinion. Not as old as the Doctor's though!
She woke up as she landed on the cold, metal floor. She placed her cheek on its cooling touch for a moment in exhaust. She let out a sigh. She missed Gallifrey. How did the Doctor bear this sadness? Then she realized something. The Maitland's don't have metal floors.
She lifted her head in surprise and looked down at the floor. She put a hand to her head and seethed in pain.
"Clara."
She looked up in response to her name. This bit was the most confusing to her, and she never did figure out what it was about until later in life; once her Doctor had…perished. The impossible figure she saw in the doorway was the Tenth Doctor. She just stared in awe at him.
"Why'd you leave me?" He asked her once he was sure he had her attention.
She looked at him in confusion, furrowing her eyebrows.
"What did I do wrong, Clara? Please tell me what I did wrong," he looked like he was going to cry. She just shook her in confusion. What was happening?
"You can stay at home, Clara. I don't mind," he told her. "But please tell me what I did wrong." Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. "I thought you trusted me. That's why we spent all those years travelling with each other. You told me about Gallifrey, I told you about Gallifrey and we trusted each other and then you just left," he said gesturing his arm towards the door and then letting it down, "out of the blue. And I couldn't figure out why because I thought we were happy together, you were happy with me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I was so confused I did what you told me not too. The last thing you said to me was to not go back to my cloud and I did FOR 69 YEARS!" He was shouting now. She didn't like this. The Tenth Doctor, the Eleventh Doctor and even the Ninth Doctor weren't like this…this…beast. "I did it because I was so confused. I didn't know why you would have left me and I don't-" he broke himself off as the tears were on the verge of spilling.
"And when I came back for you and I asked what was wrong you screamed and shouted at me and you broke both of my hearts clean." The tears started to come out now. "So why did you leave me, Clara?" he asked her again.
Maybe it was an illusion, the TARDIS playing tricks on her again. So, she decided it was best not to respond to his question. She just stared at him with big, brown eyes curious and sad at the current situation. She didn't know what was happening. After seeing her not respond after a while he got upset.
"WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME‽" He shouted at her as more tears fell.
She felt her own tears start to fall as she shouted back at him, "I DON'T KNOW!" She started to break down sobbing as his expression started to weaken.
"Clara, Clara!" The Eleventh Doctor shouted gently at her as he ran through the door frame straight through the Tenth Doctor and making him fade away. He grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her to try to snap her out of the fit.
She tried blinking through the tears and could at least make out the Doctor's chin. She continued sobbing and did her best to weakly hug him. She ended up slumping over him and wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his lap. She whimpered in fright. Why was that mean old cow playing such maddening tricks on her?
"Shhh, Clara, it's alright. It's alright, everything is fine. You're alright," he kept repeating as he rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her. She sniffed and tried to stop her crying. She looked up at the Doctor and he noticed. "Yes, Clara?"
"Doctor, where are we?" she asked.
"We're in the TARDIS. I didn't want the Maitlands to worry over you is all." He cupped her face with his hands and looked over it carefully. "How are you feeling? Any better?"
She gave a slight nod, "Yeah, a little."
"Good, good," he smiled as he placed her head on his chest and brought her closer. She dragged the twisted sheets off her bed along with her. He continued to rub her back. "Just try and get back to sleep."
"What time is it? Can I see the kids?" Clara asked him.
"You could but it's 3 in the morning so I don't think they'll appreciate it." The Doctor explained. "Just go back to sleep, Clara. They're perfectly fine." He said as he rocked her gently. She let out a shaky breath as she looked up at him with wide eyes. She was afraid of going back to bed, the thought shook her.
Sleep was a thing she had come to dread. To fall asleep and have dreams that she couldn't remember when she woke up. Then there were ones she did remember: the life on Gallifrey, the life as a Dalek, the life in Victorian London, and the numerous others that were created to save the Doctor in his past. The overwhelming part was how many she had already forgotten, that the TARDIS had erased from her memory in the future. It was saddening. But there were good ones, too. Like when she was in her dad's TARDIS. She held onto that. Perhaps if she held on to a good memory she'd have one. She doubted it, but it was worth a shot
"Don't be scared, Clara." The Doctor assured her as if he sensed her fear. "It'll be alright, I won't leave you."
"Better not, Chin." She murmured as she began to drift off into sleep. She snuggled closer to his chest as darkness swept over her.
Oswin was climbing down a ladder from her escape pod after it had crashed. The crew hadn't woken up yet, and she didn't think they were going to. She reached the bottom and looked around the dark cavern in front of her.
"Hello?" she asked the darkness. No response. She nervously reached into her pocket and pulled out a torch. She clicked it on and swept it over the premises.
This place was spooky, like a graveyard. Not that she was afraid of graveyards; it was just the feeling it gave. It sent a chill up her spine and it wasn't just the cold. Her light caught a Dalek and she gave a slight scream and jumped, dropping her torch.
After it didn't move she gave a sigh of relief and picked it back up. She quickly bounded over to the empty husk to observe it. She flicked her torch around it and saw the cracks and damage done to the vessel. It smelled of decay and rot seemed to seep around it.
"It's just an empty shell," she murmured to herself in relief. But why would there be empty Dalek shells just lying around? She saw something in the corner of her eye and quickly spun around. There was a light just around the corner. She let out a nervous breath.
If there were Dalek shells lying around then what would the killer of the Daleks be like? This beast would probably do its best to tear her apart. She slowly approached the corner as quietly as she could.
"Hello?" She repeated as she looked around. "Where am I?" she asked the stranger around the corner. She looked around it and the light flicked off and a single blue bulb stared back at her. Before she could do anything else it ran up to her, screaming. She backed up against the cold concrete wall.
"Where am I?" she kept repeating. She was truly frightened now by these creatures. She turned to see the "empty shell" flicker on with a satisfied hum. It slowly advanced towards her.
"Where am I?" she demanded once more.
"ANALYZING BRAIN CAPACITY," the Dalek that backed her against the wall shouted.
"Where am I‽" she shouted at them as she began to cry.
"PERFORM A FULL CONVERSION," the empty Dalek shouted in a higher-pitched voice.
"PROCEED TO TAKING HER TO THE CONVERSION," the other commanded.
"Where am I‽" she shouted once more as the Daleks guided her away.
She arrived at a dark, dirty room with poor lighting. In the center was a cold medical table tilted upwards. It smelled of must and antiseptic like a hospital room that was never used. Surrounding the table were sharp objects and others to scare her. This had to be some cruel sick joke.
"Where am I‽" she shouted once more.
"PROCEED," one of the Daleks shouted at her.
"PROCEED," three others in the room shouted correspondingly. One of the Daleks came over and guided her to the table and pushed her against it.
"PROCEED," it said gravely. She was strapped in. She heard another hum and looked at a set of lights and vital machines next to her. She looked above herself as she heard a bang and a large piece of head equipment were swung over her head. A neck attachment was hooked up to her and tightened along with many others across her body. Many coils and wires stuck out of them.
"What are you doing?" she whispered sadly.
"TURNING YOU INTO A DALEK." One responded as if it were completely obvious.
"No," she shouted, "you can't!" She began to struggle. This was a nightmare come true.
"BEGIN," one of them said. The lights started to quickly flash as the conversion began.
"No," she shouted at them. "You can't I'm human!"
A flash of sparks erupted from around the room as the Daleks sat and watched. It was entertainment. They enjoyed her pain. She felt herself start to liquefy and felt herself begin to melt.
"I am human," she told them. Her voice changed as she said, "I am not Dalek; I am human. I am not Dalek." She repeated. She shouted her last words as a normal human, "I am human!"
Clara took in a deep breath as she shifted in bed a little. Oswin's last words echoed in her head as she turned it and exhaled. She felt somebody rubbing the back of hand soothingly. She tried to relax her tense muscles and give them a small rest after that dream's horrible outcome. She felt the hand move and the thumb rub her cheek as it wiped something away. Had she been crying? She felt the thumb move back to her hand and begin rubbing it gently again. She napped peacefully in the white duvet as she followed the traces he left with his thumb. She finally blinked awake and he cupped her head. He gave a small smile that she returned.
"Hello, Doctor," she whispered.
"Good morning, Clara," he whispered back, "how are you feeling?"
"Better."
"Good, the TARDIS finished wiping your memory so you should feel a lot better," he explained.
"Does this mean I can eat and drink things now?" Clara asked with a cocked brow.
"Why, are you hungry?" the Doctor asked in surprise.
"Yes!" Clara exclaimed. The Doctor shook his head.
"Alright, stay in bed then and I'll get you some breakfast. Don't move," he told her.
"I won't move a muscle," she responded.
"Good, I'll be right back. Try to get some rest," he told her as he walked out.
She gave a faint smile as he walked out. She snuggled beneath the warm duvet and gave a content sigh. She didn't know what it was but she felt strangely happy. Like all the troubling nightmares and the fear they brought was just gone. She looked around the room, feeling safe and secure. Like a loved one wrapping their arms around you in a warm embrace.
"Thank you." She quietly thanked the TARDIS for the comfort it was providing for the trouble it put her through. It made a sound that must have been a 'you're welcome'.
"Here we are, breakfast in bed." The Doctor exclaimed. Clara sat herself up and flattened the duvet. The Doctor carefully placed the tray down on her lap. He looked at her cautiously. "You're positive that you're hungry?"
"Yeah, I'm starving, why?" she asked him as she looked down at what food she had received. One pancake, two slices of bacon and a banana. It was a bit scarce for a breakfast.
"Nothing," he said putting on a fake smile to keep her from worrying. He placed his hand on her cheek and rubbed it with his thumb. "It's just that the last time you ingested something you got a bit…sick."
"I'm feeling fine, Doctor. Try not to get worried over me." Clara told him.
"I'll try," he said as he gave her a real smile. She returned it and began to cut the pancake. She ate everything in record time, taken that she had an empty stomach and was exhausted.
"So, Doctor," Clara asked him while eating the banana. "What time is it anyways? Outside, I mean."
"I don't know," he said looking at his watch, "2ish, why? You have somewhere to be?"
"I need to talk to you about something," she said grimly as she finished up the banana.
"What is it?" The Doctor asked her. She smiled mischievously.
"Not now, Chin. Let me get up and put on a kettle first; be a bit useful for once." She said as she shifted in bed.
"No, Clara, stay put. You're not getting up. You've been extremely helpful these past few days and you just need a small break." He told her.
"Doctor, I'm absolutely fine; I can get up and get my own tea," she told him.
"Or you could just tell me now and you could get back to sleep." He suggested. "I like that one better."'
"I don't, I've slept for days on end; I think I'm fine." She remarked.
"Why can't you just tell me here?"
"I'm not telling you until you let me up."
"Is it important?"
"A little bit, yeah."
The Doctor sighed in a bit of defeat. "Fine, let me clean up your mess first."
"Oi, I don't make messes you make messes." She said to him.
"Of course," he said as he picked up the tray. She gave a teasing smile at him and he left.
He quickly returned to the room. "Let me help you up." He insisted as Clara began to get out of bed.
"I'm fine, Doctor, calm down. You don't need to baby me." She told him off. He stepped back, a bit offended. She climbed out and looked at him. She was still in her clothes from Trenzalore. "See? Perfectly fine," she smiled at him. He gave a small smile back and held her hand.
They stood there for a bit, the moment perfect. For a moment they wished that time wouldn't move, even in the glorified snog box. She wanted to snog him right there and now for all that he had done to help her. Even if he was a bit overprotective but they would get over that bridge when they came to it.
The Doctor had insisted on making tea for her. He knew she was fully capable of doing it herself, but he didn't want her to burn herself or spill or any other event of the sort. She was sitting at the Maitland kitchen table, after insisting that they come here instead of staying at the TARDIS. He handed her the cup that she gratefully took in her small hands and he sat down on the side of the table opposite from her.
"So, what is it you wanted to talk about?" The Doctor asked. He saw her bite her lip nervously.
"Gallifrey," she answered him.
"What about it?" He asked her as he began to drink his own tea. He didn't expect her to know much about his home planet, only tidbits of it.
"How do you sleep at night without remembering the Time War?" She asked him outright. He nearly spat out his tea. He swallowed and looked at her. Sure she read a book about the Time War, but that was only a single page. Why would she be remembering it anyway? Unless she was a…no, she couldn't have been. But what if she was? No, that would be impossible. That was all Clara was though, impossible.
She must have noticed the confusion and thought process being smeared across his face because Clara looked concerned.
"Doctor, is everything alright?" She asked.
"Yes, yes, everything is perfect," he said automatically. "I mean, no, no, everything is not perfect everything is-is-" he cut himself off at Clara's confused face. She was definitely worrying. He sighed and looked her in the eye. "Clara, were you a…Time Lady?" he finally hesitated.
"Yes," she answered him softly, her eyebrows rose.
"And you were on Gallifrey?" he asked her.
"Yes, I was." She told him. He rubbed his hands together as he thought.
"How much of the Time War do you remember?" The Doctor asked her.
"Most of it, I was there from start to end." She mused.
"What was the very beginning?" He asked her, checking to make sure she was right.
"Helping you steal the TARDIS." She said.
"That was you‽" he exclaimed. "But I-no, but-shut up." He told her as she let out a giggle. "It was you, wasn't it?"
"One of the few times you've noticed me." She said.
He thought over what she was saying. More importantly, how does one react to this kind of situation? When you're alone for most of your life and you suddenly discover that you're not. He should be shouting his thanks for finally not being alone; for finding somebody who he could relate to. He obviously wasn't because it was his past she was relating too.
"Clara, I-" he cut himself off as the door opened. Thank TARDIS for a distraction.
"If anyone's here, we're home!" Angie shouted. Artie's eyes caught on someone familiar and a wide smile spread across his face.
"Clara!" He shouted as he ran over and hugged her. She put an arm around him in a hug.
"Hey Artie," she smiled.
"Are you any better?" he asked with concern.
"Of course I'm better." She told him. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I'm just checking," he said. She gave a small laugh.
"How long have you been up?" Angie asked curiously.
"I don't know, couple of hours?" Clara guessed. "Why?"
"Your boyfriend's keeping an even closer eye on you than before," she joked.
"He is not my boyfriend," Clara corrected. "He is also not-"she cut herself off when she noticed how he was staring. He was keeping a close eye. "Doctor, why are you looking at me like that?"
He snapped back into reality. "What? Nothing, I'm just thinking."
"Okay," Clara responded trying not to sound creeped out. She turned her attention to the kids. "So, you have any homework you need help with?"
"No, well, none that we need help with anyway," Angie said, although the face Artie was making begged to differ.
"Good, now you have more time to rest. Come on." The Doctor said grabbing her hand and stood up, trying to pull her up. He was in a rush to do more scans on her and test her on her Gallifreyan knowledge. She pulled it back down.
"Oi, you never answered my question," Clara said. She was going to get this answer even if it was going to kill him.
"Clara," the Doctor said cupping her face, "the Time War isn't an easy topic to talk about." She put her hands on his face as well.
"And Gallifrey isn't the easiest place to have dreams about." She talked back.
"What's the Time War?" Artie asked.
"What's Gallifrey?" Angie asked to correspond. Clara smiled and crossed her arms.
"I'm getting this conversation one way or another, so talk up Chin Boy." Clara said sipping her tea. The Doctor sighed and sat down again.
"Gallifrey is the planet I am from." The Doctor began. "And-" he paused, thinking of a way to have this backfire on Clara and get her to talk to him about it. "You know what? Clara knows a whole lot about Gallifrey, she can tell you about it." She almost choked on her tea.
"What?" she said in shock.
"Go on, tell them about Gallifrey." He urged her curiously. He wanted to see how much she knew, how much she had absorbed in his time stream. He needed to know whether he should be concerned. Clara cleared her throat.
"Gallifrey, kids, is the planet where the Doctor is from." She started to explain. "It is located in Kasterborous, which is some sort of constellation thing. The people who lived there were called Timelords, which is what species the Doctor is. It was destroyed, though, in the Last Great Time War."
"What was the 'Last Great Time War'?" Artie repeated. Clara looked at the Doctor for assurance and then turned away when he urged her on.
"The Last Great Time War was the biggest and bloodiest war in the universe. It was between the Time Lords and the Daleks." The kids knew the name, the Doctor had mentioned them before but they didn't know what they were. "It started because…" she stopped and didn't know whether to say the Doctor's name or not. "It started because a Time Lord was sent back to avert the creation or delay the Dalek creation. The Daleks declared war on the Time Lords and they both used time technology to fight throughout the galaxy and whole galaxies were destroyed in the process." She was simplifying it so the children would understand, leaving out important battles and such. "At the end of the war, Gallifrey was in such chaos that it didn't even matter anymore. So, someone came along and destroyed most of the Daleks, all but two Time Lords and Gallifrey. The two Time Lords that survived were the Doctor and the Master, who passed away a couple of years ago."
They were quiet for a moment as they tried to take it all in.
"You do remember all of it," the Doctor finally said in a quiet murmur.
"Yeah," she said. He fiddled with his hands and thumbs again in the silence. "So," she said breaking the silence and looking at the kids. "Go do your homework. The Doctor and I will be done in just a second."
"But-" Angie immediately started to fight. She stopped as Clara began to give her a look that said to do as she was told. She gave in to her commands and the two ran upstairs to try to wait the others out.
"Clara," the Doctor finally said. She looked at him.
"My silence is your cue." She said.
"Nothing," he muttered. "Just try not to think about Gallifrey too much."
"You don't have to be lonely, you know." She told him. He looked at her. "You could talk about it. I mean, I know what you're talking about now so I can help."
He considered snapping back at her, but that was too harsh. She had just gotten back from his time stream and it was obvious she was confused and needed help sorting things out. He considered saying something comforting but thought against that too. He didn't want her to become concerned and think she was frail. She wasn't frail; she just had a lot to absorb right now was all. He decided what was best now was to sit there and say nothing. Saying nothing had never hurt anyone before. So that's what he did; he sat there and did nothing.
Warning: No Frequent Updates
