Disclaimer: I am still not J.K. Rowling as much as I would like to be…
AN: So i got the lists to kind of work with me. For some of them, the numbers go together, like one and one will go together etc, in the pros and cons lists so you might have to scroll up and read the numbers to get it. Sorry bout that. It wasn't working the other way it was set up.
"So tell us why you won't date James again?" Margaret Ross asked, wanting to hear it again, mostly for her own amusement. She was bored and one of Lily Evans's rants was the cure for any boredom.
"I already told you," Lily said, not looking up from her book.
"I have never heard it," Danielle Gray said. The three seventh girls sat around the fire. Margaret and Danielle were both painting their nails.
Lily gave a snort, "Oh please. How could you not have heard it? And I know you have."
"Well yeah, but I am bored."
"Well then, find something to entertain yourself with," Lily sighed trying extremely hard to concentrate on her book.
"I think you should date James," Margaret said, exchanging a glance with Danielle.
"What?!" Lily shrieked and put down her book. The people in the common room turned to look at the source of the noise.
"I agree," Danielle put in, casually.
"How could you possibly agree to something as absurd as that?" Lily scoffed.
"Well look at it this way; James Potter is the best choice out of the four," shrugging, Margaret put the lid back on the nail polish.
"How do you figure?" asked Lily, coldly.
"When you compare the pros and cons, Potter is the best. Here I have the lists," Margaret pulled out four sheets of paper.
"I'm not even going to ask why you have those on you."
"Just give it a try, Lily," pleaded Danielle.
"If I do, will you guys let me go back to finishing my book?"
"Of course," Margaret smiled.
"Here hand them to me," Lily put out her hand.
Pros and Cons of Dating Remus
Pros:
He is kind of cute
He can read
He is serious
Can't think of one
……
…….
…..
nope
Not yet
Still nada
Cons:
1. His breath smells like rotting fish
2. He will never pay attention to you
3. You will never have any fun
4. He still wears footsie pajamas
5. He smells like onions
6. He is engaged
7. He liked too much commitment
8. He is going to be married.
9. He is moving out of the country
10. You are like a sister to him. Incest! EW!
"Huh. Remus never told me he was engaged," Lily looked at the paper.
"He doesn't like to talk about it, tragic," Margaret said sympathetically.
"He could dump you like, I don't know, but it would be quick because he can't be kept away from the love of his life," said Danielle dramatically.
"I thought you said he doesn't like to talk about it. And I never thought he smelled like onions or his breath like rotting fish," Lily frowned.
"But it's true. He isn't man enough for you," Margaret said.
"Uh okay… So Remus is out of the picture. Who is next?"
"Peter."
Pros and Cons of dating Peter
Pros
He is a little boy cute.
He can eat
He is loyal
He can treat girls nicely
Can't think of anything…
…..
Nothing
Still nothing
Uh….
…….
Cons
1. He is so going to be overweight when he is older
2. He over eats
3. He is scared of you
4. He doesn't really like you
5. Wears bad clothes
6. Has bad hygiene
8. Doesn't shower. Ever.
9. Sweats a ton!
10. Walks funny
"That's weird. Peter doesn't smell that bad," Lily once again frowned, trying to think. "I mean he would probably not be my first choice, but I don't think he is that bad. Just someone you would have to give a chance,"
"Well, look at Remus. You thought he was great but it turns out he is not."
"I guess," Lily said uncertainly.
"Let's look at Sirius now. You won't believe what we found on him."
Pros and Cons of dating Sirius Black
Pros
He is HOT!
He is dreamy
He is flirty
He is gorgeous
He is Hot!
He is hot!
He is hot!
He is really hot!
He is really really hot!
And… he is hot!
Cons
1. He smells like really really bad
2. He likes anything with tits
3. He will just use you for sex
4. He will dump you as soon as you have sex with him
6. His breath smells like rotting fish
7. He showers less than Peter
8. His hair looks so shiny because is super greasy.
9. His feet smell horrible too.
10. He doesn't have a good vocabulary
"Since when had Sirius Black smelled?" Asked Lily skeptically.
"Haven't you noticed? They all reek."
"No I haven't and why do all of them have rotting fish breath?"
"Something they eat."
"And I know Sirius Black is a bit of man whore, but I have never seen him treat a girl bad."
"That's just what you think. James looks awesome when you compare him to these smelly boys. None of which have manners by the way," Danielle said, inspecting her nails.
"Fine, give me Potter's list," Lily stuck out her hand for the fourth.
The Cons and Pros of James A.K.A. Potter
Cons
He is obsessed with you
He really likes you
He is annoying
He never gives up
He has obnoxious habits
He wears glasses
He knows which girls are pretty
He gives you too much praise
You like guys for brains
You hate him
Pros
1. He will always treat you well
2. He will always be there for you
3. He will provide good entertainment
4. Once he has you, he will never let you go
5. He would drop them all for you in a second
6. If having a bad hair day, you can take them away.
7. He thinks you are beautiful
8. You could never feel bad about yourself
9. He is HOT! And smart! And brave!
10. He is perfect for you.
"See? So when it comes right down to it, James Potter is the best choice," Margaret said.
Lily stared at the list, feeling her cheeks heat up. "Well when you put it like that… Potter!" She shouted. And walked over to where James stood talking with his friends.
"Do you think we should tell her that we made up everything on those other lists?" whispered Danielle staring at Lily, as she giggled, blushed, and then slowly nodded.
"No," Margaret whispered back. "It will be our little secret. Besides for Lily Evans, James Potter is the only real choice she had."
AN: Ehh… Nothing too great. Just some idea I had.
