When was it, I wonder, that I started to see you this way?
Maybe, that day, I –
It was a windy day after school. The third years each had to go home early to prepare for their studies, while the first years had to help with an event held for their year. As so, we're left with the second years of Aqours, practicing together on the top of the roof of Uranohoshi.
Maybe it was that that.
The second years formed a short horizontal line, with a little gap in between each of them to prevent themselves from bumping into one another. The leader of the group, Chika, stood at the center, with Riko by her right, and You by her left.
That one little incident.
The second years slowly paced to the music, just as discussed previously. The roles of the other years' were left unfulfilled, but it didn't bring too much harm to their formation, seeing that they were going by first-second-third years for this current song.
Chika's ears perked up to the music, a bright smile of her face as she danced to each beat almost perfectly, pretty much in sync with the redhead beside her. Riko, on the other hand, did dance as well, but her movement were less energetic, but more elegant – something that'd suit her very, very well. Yet as those two moved with a different feeling, their every step matched up just right, perhaps due to the fact that they'd danced side-by-side for so long.
The practice was going perfectly, is it not?
We're forgetting someone.
The ashen-haired blue-eye beside Chika was struggling – she was a bit too fast off from the other two. Unlike Chika, focused on the musical beats, and unlike Riko, eyes straight ahead, You's eyes travelled everywhere – to the player, to Chika, to Riko, to the sky – she couldn't find a place to focus, and there's no reason she could decipher. And because of that, she had skipped one tiny step, and now she's way off the other two. She didn't say anything, though – she couldn't stop herself, nor would words not choke by her throat, unwilling to escape – her mind only screamed for her eyes to run all over, peeking only sometimes to the two friends beside her, who are lost in their own worlds, so much so that they didn't notice how You's moves were off. From the error onwards, to about halfway in, You kept it up. She tried to adjust.
But You ultimately fails.
Thump! She fell on the ground, whilst breaking the wall that had separated her from the other two. Chika stopped dancing immediately and Riko followed half a beat after.
"You-chan!" Chika jumped, a concerned look on her face, "Are you alright?" she extended her right hand towards You, who fell back-first to the ground. Grinning with a hint of slight pain, You grabbed her childhood friend's hand and was pulled back up.
"I'm fine, I'm fine!" she laughed, "Thanks."
You smiled, almost as bright as the sun that shone down on them. At the sight of that, Chika laughed.
"What's wrong today, You-chan? It isn't like you to fall of like that." She asked, concerned. You merely shrugged and answered, "Dunno."
"Eeeeeeeeeeh," Chika pouted, but quickly decided, "That's very like you, though."
"Huh?" You looked at Chika, puzzled – but quickly shook it off anyhow. "I'll make it up to you somehow, then." She giggled, almost jokingly.
You didn't want to continue the conversation anymore – despite already knowing that friend of hers for years to no end, she found herself in a loss for words of that particular day. Maybe Chika would just smile and brush that off, she prayed, that'd be the best for her. Yet, all her hopes shattered, when almost jokingly, Chika decided to answer - "You can repay me by convincing Riko-chan to go out with me."
You froze at the idea – eh? Was all her mind answered. Her eyes travelled light-speed to Riko, who was already pink flustered – 'taken aback' would be the least effective way of describing her. You could see her rushing over then, pouting, pinching Chika on the cheek. "D- don't be ridiculous," that simple sentence formed from her mouth, but You believes that by that stuttering tone of hers, there must be something underlying.
Yet as her mind arranged the pieces again, she simply laughed then joined the two, who had previously been on distance from herself.
And then their practice commenced once more, until dusk broke and they finally decided to go home. On the bus, Chika and Riko had actively chatted, but You was too tired to even bother. No, she wasn't exhausted from their practice, far from that – it was her brain that wanted to cease function, because thoughts had exploded her mind ever since that simple statement Chika had made. The part of the journey home, until Chika and Riko's stop, You had kept her eyes and ears shut, while careful enough so that she was still conscious enough to wake herself up. As both Chika and Riko left, You was the only one left in the bus, and that was the time her eyes peeled open.
They didn't even budge her up.
Thinking back to then, I was probably very, very angry. They were both so engrossed with each other that they'd forgotten about me altogether.
But what happened that day had got me thinking; what was up with me when Chika said those words? No – what was up with me even before that? The whole day, or even before that, I wasn't myself, and I fully realize that – but why so?
I am no expert in these things – So I had to resort to somewhere to find out an answer, right?
Perhaps, the internet wasn't such a great place to search after all-
It says here that I'm in love.
…
And for a little part after that, I thought, ah, well, maybe it wouldn't be so strange after all; I've been with Chika for so long, so long that I don't even remember if we've ever been apart at all – we could say we're siblings, and that'll be believable, for the most part.
I thought, maybe it's because I've been with Chika for so long, her saying something so off as such would surely be javelin to my heart, just like what Mari-san had said before: burning flames of jealousy.
Yet for the most parts afterwards, the days I spent with you two in class, the rest of our group of nine in club, and the little time I had for myself in swimming practice, I slowly realized.
I was in love with you.
Riko Sakurauchi, you're the one. You're the one. You're the one.
I can't believe it took me so long.
That day you arrived as a transfer student.
"It's a miracle!" Chika screamed. You's eyes lit up as while she eyed her fiery-eyed friend, she also had her attention caught by the girl of crimson hair to the front, the transfer student from Otonokizaka High.
Her heart skipped a beat, but at that time, she didn't know.
You may have not noticed me, but I had certainly noticed you. Except, frankly speaking, I didn't exactly notice myself noticing you. But it was then, I'm sure now, that my love for you began.
As the days went by, it only grew. But I didn't know, for so long. For so, so long.
… And now that I do, I don't know what to do.
Now that I know, every time I sensed that little eye exchanges between you and Chika during practice, the left of my chest felt like it was being grabbed onto – a painful sensation. In fact, it hurts so much I couldn't even focus on practice anymore. On some worse days, I'd end up being the one that drags the entire team down; and the 'I think I'm not feeling too well' excuse can only be used that many times before it gets fishy.
The days would continue, and slowly, I get used to feeling that way. I'm used to this pain; one that I could never speak of – this love for you, Riko-chan, is one that I get to keep. After all, you sure look way happier with Chika-chan.
Doesn't that sound familiar? Maybe You would never learn…
And perhaps she'd never know, either, that that day, Riko was looking at her as well.
She had always, always been looking.
Deep down, Riko even hoped for a different reaction upon Chika's 'convince her to go out with me' line, but that'd gone down the drain. She'd noticed her 'dozing off' in the bus, but Chika'd stopped her, too sure that You wouldn't want to be woken up right then. Riko'd noticed, that You wasn't quite sleeping soundly as Chika had suggested, and by the time they were going off, she'd had no hand in waking her up either.
And all those times onwards, those awkward practices, she was always the first to notice You's behavior, and how it was unlike of her. Yet she said nothing. Nothing.
Because she, of all things, is convinced that the one You probably ever has a chance in loving was the orange-haired girl who greets her by the window every morning.
A/N: Angst-y as heck ChikaYou? Check. Misunderstanding YouRiko? Aye, check. What other suffering should I bring? Ask that YouHane fic I'm about to write.
