Alright, alright. Let's not get confused now. 'Goodbye' has always been one of the words that fascinate me. Its meanings were simple but deep, but no one took time to notice the beauty in this word of parting. When I wrote this story, it was like watching a film. It went on and on, I never paused it. That was what happened before I rewrote this story. This is a more elaborate tear jerker than what I have written in the past, and I hope it brings you to tears just as it did to me.
I suggest: Snuggle up in your bed/couch, make some tea, and listen to A Thousand Years- ThePianoGuys while reading this. It does wonders with helping to boost the emotions in the story.
Rewritten this date: Wednesday, May 11 2016, 19:28 hours.
Darkness. How does one describe the darkness?
Darkness, all that he saw, was it nothing but darkness?
Darkness, it was so empty. In that emptiness, he saw fear.
Fear, was it fear he was feeling?
So cold...
So terribly frozen.
To feel everything but happiness.
There was no joy..
No laughter...
No love.
Nothing but the excruciating pain.
"Kurosaki-kun!" Her bruised knees hit the pavement, her tears gushing from her eyes, her throat screaming for his reply. It hurt. It hurt to see him go then, it hurts to see him go again. She couldn't lose him now. She couldn't bear with losing someone again. She gripped his jacket, silently wishing time could rewind. "Don't do this to me!" She cupped his face. His hazel orbs were fading, turning it a dull shade of muddy brown. "Please..." Her hands traced the collar of his torn coat, tugging it gently to her.
"Please... You can't leave me like this!" She begged, her tears staining the fabric. The tears rolled down her cheeks, across some of her exposed bruised skin. It sizzled and stung her, but it mattered to her no more than the abstract knife to her abdomen as she watched her love as it faded to grey.
"Don't do this to me..." She buried her head deep inside his bloody chest, searching for the warmth she had felt for the longest time possible in her life. "You promised..." No promises had ever meant as much as this promise. Ever since the day he made this promise, she cared for it a lot. But no matter how much she cared for it, it still broke... Like a plate falling on concrete, just like that. It can never be fixed again.
There was a tiny jolt from where her fingers wrapped around his, and she knew he was alive.
"Orihime..." His eyes were filled with a tinge of life as he looked back into her glossy orbs.
"I'm sorry..." His hand wrapped around her blood matted palms, his lips broke into a small bloody smile. Her astonished face looked up from his shirt.
Ichigo's P.O.V.
It was as though my life was slowly being played in front of me. It was a cinematic film, in all the colors possible, but the only emotion I felt from it was remorse and pain...
I was about 11 at that time when we lived in the countryside. My dad was doing this home stay business and used one of two of the houses we owned to bring in foreigners who visited the Karakura village. There was this one girl with long luscious auburn hair and big grey eyes who came with her family, they wanted to climb the mountains of Karakura and visit the springs.
My dad invited them and I found myself following the girl everywhere she went. I never asked for her name, and she never asked for mine. In that week they stayed with us, I would bring her papers and color pencils, toys, my proud papercrafts to pass time together. We grew on each other, and I thought I loved her. I loved her, with everything I knew about love as an 11 year old.
I never told anyone, but I stole a locket and its key from my parent's prized glass cabinets and gave it to her. Inside the locket was a note I had scribbled down, and it said "I love you". I gave it to her before she and I climbed into the mini bus, where our family would personally see them off from the airport. She held onto the fascinating metal, examining its shiny silver surface, its detailed designs, its smooth touch, its jingle whenever she let it dangle from her small neck. It was a long ride from the countryside to the nearest airport, but I remembered to tell her about our promise every so often.
"Hey, you'd promise me to come back again and fall in love with me forever right?"
"Ungh! I promise!"
When we reached the entrance of the airport, I got off and helped her down. We didn't carry any luggage, so I got the opportunity to hold her hand. Our parents were busy unloading the luggage while we stared at the airplanes taking off into the sky. I never saw a view like this very often, but I secretly wished that every airplane would be a promise. I know my promise would remain the same, even if the sky was filled with airplanes. I only have one wish, and that is to love her forever.
I don't know what happened, but I found myself letting her hand go in the slowest possible time frame. I pushed her, and in the entrance of the airport, I was hit by a car. I pushed her just in time so she would be safe, but I suffered more than the driver of the car. The driver had a cracked skull, but nothing really major. He crashed into me because he was late for the last flight due to England. In the court, the judge saw fit that he pay for all of my medical bills, and if I die, he would pay my family 70,000 yen every 6 months. I was told when I woke up 3 months later, that she had threw a fit to go near me and save me but her father had grabbed her and carried her out of sight. It was terrible, such a selfish father, yet I don't blame him. His little angel would be frightened for life if she saw me...
For there was I, leg and arm fractured, with blood covering my body. In the first few days when I was awake, everything was a blur. I could never see clearly, I even wondered if I had turned blind. But according to my doctor, it was normal. I spent a year in the wheelchair because I was much too weak, 6 months to learn how to walk again and 8 months to fully recover from the trauma of vehicles. To add to my miseries, I suffered some head injuries, which led to amnesia and me forgetting what she looked like. I remembered the promise, but I never knew who she was. The doctor said my bone marrow was damaged from the accident, sure enough. My rates of getting leukemia was higher than average.
It wasn't very long until I was diagnosed with leukemia. The lymphocytes in my bone marrow contained cancerous material that extended into my blood. It's slow growing, but my survival rate was 49%. I was grateful for the care and love my parents gave me, and I couldn't thank god more for their unwasted efforts. My cancer was cured when I went for a stem cell transplant, but I had to go for checkups every month. It was terrible. I never knew what was worse; never waking up again or having to live a life that I am living from now on.
Ever since then, the way I went through with life was so much different. I took my pills day and night, went to sleep before the sun went down, and ate food that my doctor restricted me too. I couldn't do much sports, I could never stay up late. Life was dull, it was grey and so depressing. My friends were still my friends in that same old village, and they were only my friends because they felt sorry for me. I could never go on trips with them, I could never have a stay over at their houses, I couldn't eat their birthday cakes either.
I had to spend most of my time in the nurse's office or the hospital.
There was even a time when I stopped wanting to live. But I remembered this promise with an anonymous girl, and decided to have faith in it. Much to my surprise, a girl transferred to my school 2 months ago. She followed me everywhere I went; she talked to me whenever she saw me. She became my one and only true friend and I started to like her a lot.
The thing I found noticeable was the fact that she always wore a small locket wherever she went. She told me it was her only treasure; I had a key too, and I was always reminded from deep within my amnesiac brain that it was my treasure too. We never said anything else in that matter, but in a few short weeks, I confessed and we became a couple.
I really loved her; she was my princess, my Hime.
The only thing I regret was never telling her what was happening to me. She sometimes asked me of the thing that happened the day after she left for the airport. And as a reply, I only told her that I got hit by a cart and had a small bruise. I also told her that it was nothing for her to worry about...It was a lie I don't know whether I regret telling or not...
My last medical report was a week before we decided to go on a date. I went for a CT scan, which was required once in every 6 months. Turns out, the leukemia was back again, this time worse than before. The doctor explained to me what was going on, which was leukemic mast cell leukemia. My chances of surviving were a mere 2%. I couldn't say anything else. I couldn't see the future in us anymore.
My cancer, It was next to incurable.
I never told her. I never told her when I should have. I never told her, I never gave her a chance to worry about me when she was supposed to. Today was supposed to be the most special day in her life... It wasn't. She could tell I was worried about something and thus, she continuously asked me why I was so depressed.
Her constant worry and curiosity eventually set me screaming at her to get out of my life. It was terrible, considering I told her that every single pain I was feeling was caused by her. I shouted at her that I couldn't live a normal life, that I had to go for checkups and to live life on the edge, all because I loved her. I was spilling my darkest secrets without considering how she would feel about it. I know that the world isn't a wish-granting magical place of happiness, but I shouldn't have blamed anyone when the cause of my pain was my body. I understand that no one wants to live knowing the love of their life was dying ever so slowly, and I understand why she was so miserable. We were only together for such a short time, she couldn't bear knowing that one day, when she wakes up, I will be gone forever. And that one day, it would be very soon. She couldn't see the light in falling in love with me when she knows when our love ends.
I had made her cry and run away from me. I chased her, I wanted to tell her I didn't mean it, and that our love will last through thick and thin... I never got the chance to. As she ran away from my arms, across the road in blind confusion, a bus was heading fast in her direction. I caught up and grabbed her hand. I mouthed out "I love you" as she turned back to see me... I pushed her away. I closed my eyes and waited for the sound of my crushing bones, for the pain in my entire body. The bus hit me quicker than a heartbeat, sparing me the thought of fearing the consequences of my actions.
They say karma follows you everywhere you go, and it proved itself in this case. This is what I get for blaming her illogically; this is what I get for treating her badly. Right now, I only wish I could turn back time.
Time was never my friend when it came to recovering from death, but I am grateful that it gave me time to see her again. I am grateful on this occasion that time spared me the last minutes of my life to be with the one I love. With her by my side, death is not painful at all. I only wished for one thing, in hopes that the world truly was a wish-granting utopia, that the love of my short life would move on. That her pain would spare her love, and it wouldn't matter to her if I died or not, that she will love another man, to be happy again.
I know that I will rest in eternal peace, as the man who had the chance to love a woman like her.
"Please! I'm sorry... So please don't leave me!" Her eyes were red from crying, her hair was falling onto his face in a mess of auburn red. He glanced at her, his bloody, exposed arm tucked one of her sunny locks behind her ear. "Please... Don't be. I should be sorry for hiding what happened to you... I'm sorry for yelling at you, I'm sorry for not letting you know the truth. Orihime... Promise me one thing..." He winced at his broken ribs, for breathing was an indulgence he could not pay for.
"Don't say it! Don't say such things! We'll make it through this... You can't die on me, Kurosaki-Kun!" Her pale face was red now, her fingers feeling the warmth disappear from his hands. So terribly cold... She wondered if he knew what the feeling of warmth was like anymore. "Orihime... Our promise..." Ichigo looked up at her watery eyes.
"No... We're not going to open it... You'll make it, Ichigo... You can't leave me alone like this!" She hugged him ever so gently, embracing what was left of his fading consciousness. He gave out a shriveled cough. "Our love, in our hearts..." He fumbled in his pockets, biting his torn lip to bare with the pain of his useless lungs. The key jingled as he grabbed for it. Orihime couldn't say anything, all was happening too fast for her to understand. "Ichigo...stop... I won't leave you... Please don't do this..." She grabbed his other hand tightly. Ever since she flew back, her fate was rewritten completely. Her dad lost his job and spent his days drinking, her mother left her children alone. Her brother took her away and cared for her, but he died.
She couldn't afford to lose her loved ones anymore. She couldn't live like this.
"My beautiful..." He reached out for her tear streaming face, "My love, my heart will forever be with you..." He smiled and touched the locket around her neck. He was determined, he looked at peace. She looked on, shaking her head vigorously. "Don't be silly, don't do this..." She cupped his face, staring into his teary eyes. "Our promise to love each other forever, it is not broken..." He coughed again; a dribble of blood escaped the side of his lips. She couldn't accept it, but she had to. She bit her lip to stop herself from screaming. She will accept whatever her fate had destined her to, she was happy to have been loved by someone like Ichigo. They say the most righteous people often go first, and she believed it was correct. Her prince was righteous; her prince was perfection.
"I, Kurosaki Ichigo... Officially announce our promise..." She hugged him as he said the words, her fingers running through his hair. He didn't mind the tears seeping through his torn shirt, it was a sign that she loved him.
"Our promise... To love each other forever... Fulfilled." The key was thrusted into the locket, and he placed the key carefully in her palms, along with the small note.
"To have loved you, I will die a happy man" there was a tear rolling down his fading brown eyes. She couldn't understand what was happening, everything was so wrong. He cupped her face and with a bloody thumb, wiped her tears away. She was still stuck in astonishment. She held back her tears as she read the note. "My love..." He looked happy, he looked at peace. "I love you, and death can never do us apart" She gripped his hand tightly. He looked at her, a warm smile crept up his face. It soothed her scattered situation, but it also reminded her of the times they had, if they still have them. She gripped his cold hand. "I am happy to have been given the chance to love you..." The smile was as warm as ever. He coughed, and a small dribble of blood escaped the sides of his torn lips.
"Please... You can't go..." She wondered why she said it. Her world was turning upside down once more. She held his gaze as his fingertips brushed her open locket, onto her hands, before falling beside him. "Orihime..." He gazed into her sparkling, glossy grey orbs, before he closed them, his eyes bid her farewell. She hugged him, she realized she couldn't let him go, the locket, the key, the note in between them. The warmth was no more, and she screamed for him to wake up. Her tears rejoiced in the rims of her eyes, falling down unconditionally once more, staining his shirt.
Help finally came. The officers forcefully pulled her away from the cold, still body of her knight as it was covered with white fabric before being pushed into the ambulance. The cloth was as white and as pure hearted as the love of her life. The white fabric soaked the remaining red liquid from her prince. She was screaming...she was dying inside. She was draped with a coat as she sat in the police car. She couldn't think of anything anymore.
Nothing could matter. Everything was gone.
I love you, she would say, as her hands gripped her locket, his key and their note written in which was, I love you. I love you more than words can say, I love you more than emotions can present. I love you more than the warmth of the Sun, I love you more than the coldness of Pluto. I love you more than what you are, more than what you have been, more than what you will be. I love you longer than time itself, I love you wider than the entire universe. I love you more than the stars in the sky, more than the nights you spent alone with the moon. I love you more than the cells that make up every piece of you. I love you for more than you are worth. I love you for loving me. I love you is the only thing I can say, but what I mean when I say the word 'love' is more than what it is defined.
She could no longer feel his warmth, she could no longer hear his voice. Everything has turned into a memory of him. He is her everything, but now, he was her everything. He was gone, he had faded. She broke down, she screamed till her voice was unheard of. She cried till her eyes were swollen. I love you.
I love you for having to love me.
I love you for forever, and that will be a promise. It will never be fulfilled, it will never be broken... because it was never an accomplishment to begin with. I love you, and that is all I can say.
I love you, her eyes closed, picturing his warm smiling laughter again. She held the three components of their love to her chest; to her bruised, broken heart.
I love you. And thank you for loving me too. I will love you till the end of time.
Goodbye, my love.
Goodbye, my princess. And I will love you for the rest of my abstract life.
I love you.
Please don't forget that.
I love you is not what I say, but what I do for you.
I love you, Thank you...
Goodbye.
Well, how was it? Did your eyes water and roll down like a drop of rain rolling off the windows? I really hope it did, because I really wanted to make a successful tragic romance. Hope you enioyed it, don't forget to favourite, follow and review down below so I can see what your reacrions are!
