Hey, Sev?

I miss you.

When are you

coming back?

Who am I kidding?

You're never

coming back.

Not the real you,

anyway.

The one with the morals,

and the ambitions;

the hope,

the playful energy,

and the compassion.

Now,

you think that's

a bleeding heart,

don't you?

An idiot

who didn't realize

friendship

was never worth it.

You're wrong.

The you from before

is smarter

than who you are now.

But you'll never believe it,

because

you think

you're always right

I keep hoping

you'll be back

someday,

with that trademark laugh

that usually only I could cause,

because losing you was like

losing Tuney

all over again.

I never realized

how much I cared

until you

were gone.

Do you miss me?

Could you possibly miss me

as much as I

miss you?

It hurts,

the indifference

in your eyes

when I walk by you

in the Great Hall.

I open my mouth to greet you,

and you turn to a friend;

whoever's closer.

Anyone but me.

I know it's just a pretense,

for now.

But you believe it,

and what you believe

about yourself

generally

becomes true.

Don't you remember?

All the fun

we had together?

Staying up past midnight,

talking about

whatever caught our fancy?

You think

all those hours

were wasted.

I'll be frank;

I thought so, too,

for a time.

But then

Someone told me

"Wasted time isn't truly wasted

If you enjoy doing what you did."

And I enjoyed that.

Every minute of it.

I know you did, too.

You'd wait for me

to be back

and brighten your day.

I did the same thing;

even sending Howlers,

once, in the summer,

because I couldn't stand

the wait.

If you just took a chance,

faced the truth,

looked back,

you'd know.

You miss it, too.

But I know you,

and you would never admit

anyone else

was right.

Yes, all this time

you could have spent

studying.

All those hours

you could have worked.

But you're not a workaholic,

and neither am I.

We can't work forever.

Everyone needs a break

once in a while;

what better diversion

than this?

You'll never admit it

to yourself,

though.

On the outside,

You're still the same.

But on the inside,

you don't care anymore,

you keep telling yourself.

And maybe,

now,

it's true.

I don't want it to be true.

Shame the world

doesn't revolve around

what I want,

else you'd never

have left.

I still miss you, though.

Every day

it hurts.

You're better

at pretending

than I am.

We'll talk,

and your cool business exterior

seems to fall.

It's almost like

you're back again.

But

Something's gone.

That spark is lost.

The bond is broken.

And it's not the same.

It's hard.

Living without you.

Your presence,

your words,

full of confidence,

when you're playful,

when you're nervous.

You opened up.

And now,

The door to your heart

is closed.

Maybe forever.

And now,

it feels like

there's no one

to confide in

anymore.

It feels like

everything

is falling apart,

and I'm so alone

in the midst of all

the debris

and falling rubble.

Shattered.

Crushed heartdrops painting the floor.

There's no one to talk to

anymore,

the way I talked to you.

I miss you.

Did you ever

miss me?

Will you ever

realize

that you did?