Akane-No-Baka By: Deus_Ex_Machina

I got this idea as I was working on another story last night. It is intended to be a one-shot, but I may continue it if I get enough good feedback.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½. that privilege goes to Rumiko Takahashi- sama.

Now that we're done with that, on with the show, err, story.

It was raining in Nerima that day as a resounding shout of "WHAT?" reverberates throughout the area. We zoom in on a street and see an odd sight; there is a panda chasing a well-endowed redhead down the street.

"What gave you the right to choose my fiancée, old man?"

The panda holds up a sign that reads, 'It's a matter of honor, boy, you WILL marry a Tendo.'

The redhead stops and gets into a fighting stance, and the panda follows suit. After a brief scuffle it appears that the panda is out cold.

"I'm going back to China to find a cure." With that said, she turns and starts to walk off.

Only to have the panda come up behind her and hit her on the back of the head with a street sign, knocking her out.

In the Tendo home all is quiet for a moment after the declaration of the fiancée. Then the youngest daughter speaks up, "What do you mean fiancée? Don't we get to have a choice who we marry?"

"Akane's right daddy. I mean we don't even know this Ranma." This said by the middle daughter.

There is a pause, then the oldest states, "I hope he's not too young, younger men.are just so young." Nabiki gives Kasumi an incredulous look.

Turning her attention back to the matter, Nabiki seems to perk up, "Is he cute? Just what kind of person IS this Ranma?"

Soun starts to sweat, "Umm.eh heh heh heh. I."

Suddenly, shouting from outside the house cuts off Soun, "Damn it, pops. Put me down."

"Ooh, that must be Ranma." Nabiki and Soun both get up and dash to the front door, only to come running back the way they came, pale as ghosts, followed by a panda carrying a struggling bundle.

"Put me down, can't you see you're scaring 'em spit-less?" This comes from the bundle resting on the panda's shoulder.

Finally the panda puts the bundle down in front of it, and the bundle is revealed to be the girl from earlier. The girl speaks hesitantly, "Umm, hi. I'm Ranma Saotome, sorry 'bout this."

(I'm assuming that you all know how it goes from here, so let's fast- forward to the bathroom scene)

Ranma walks into the changing room of the furo and strips down. She mumbles to herself, "'I'm sure glad you're a girl, 'cause I'd really hate to lose to a boy.' Stupid, stupid, stupid, no matter what I do, I'm gonna get into trouble."

As Ranma scrubs herself off using the cold water, the door opens slightly behind her and we see Akane peeking in through the crack in the doorway leering at Ranma's naked form, both from behind and in the mirror seeing the front. She closes the door softly and waits to hear Ranma getting into the tub. When she hears Ranma enter the tub, she slowly disrobes, then opens the door separating the rooms and steps in, just as a now male Ranma is stepping out of the furo.

Akane very calmly steps out the door, then closes it and gets a robe on. A moment later a scream is heard.

(Dining Room, after the explanation of Jusenkyo, and Akane chosen to be the fiancée)

"I'm not marrying that PERVERT."

"Who's the pervert, YOU walked in on ME."

"Well. It's different when a girl sees a guy!"

"Oh, really? How is it different?"

"It. It just is. Besides, you ogled me."

Ranma stands and starts walking to the door, "That's no big deal for me. I see myself all the time. And I'm better built to boot!"

Akane picks up the table and slams it on Ranma's head. or at least she tries to, but it is caught in one hand, "So, you insult me, and when I return the favor, you try to hit me. Well guess what, don't dish out anything that you can't handle being returned to you!" With that Ranma slams the table over Akane's head instead of the other way around.

Nabiki looks at Akane and mutters under her breath, "About damn time someone stood up to that bitch." She speaks up, "Now that she had coming."
We flash through scenes that come along later, and each time Akane tries to hit Ranma for insulting her, he catches the hit and returns it twice as hard, eventually, she tries to hit Ranma less and less. When Akane tries to force feed him her cooking, he turns the tables on her, forcing her to eat her own cooking. which sends her to the hospital a couple of times before she starts to understand that she just can't cook. Ranma is seen standing up for himself over and over against Akane, who resents him for destroying her fantasy world where she is the best, and she never gets over it.

The End. Or is it? It is up to you, the readers to decide. Just tell me what you think. If I continue this I need feedback. Send all C&C to dayseks_machina@hotmail.com Flames will be ignored.