Mikasa asks him if he trusts her.
What Eren wants to say is no – hell no. It's an immediate reaction, so visceral that his entire body tenses. His teeth clench harshly and violent images that he has tried to forget flash through his mind. The last time he tried to relinquish control he had gotten his friends killed. He remembers a short blond asking the same question, pleading - trust us. Eren meets her eyes, prepared to say no, but the look on her face stifles the words that rise to his lips.
She watches his reaction carefully, as she has always done. Eren thinks that Mikasa knows almost everything about him. She has read him like a worn out book, and she has dog-eared her favorite pages of him, coming to know him better than he even knows himself. He knows that he doesn't understand her nearly as well – but he hasn't tried to until recently, and she still frustrates him with her carefully guarded expressions and her ability to get under his skin and tell what he's thinking no matter what.
He wonders how she can still look so controlled and in her element, even while they're naked and she straddles his waist when he sure as hell doesn't. She seems so natural – but then again, Mikasa is a natural at anything that she tries. He thinks that he could trust her with his life, but he can't trust himself with hers.
Maybe that was trust, but he doesn't know how to make her understand. He feels her hand stroke his cheek and he thinks that she might already understand.
"I don't know," he admits quietly, looking away from her. Mikasa only sighs as though she expected that answer. She leans down and kisses him then, her hand tightening around the hardness between his legs. He hisses at the hot, tight pleasure that shoots through him at her touch and gasps into her mouth.
"That's fine," Mikasa mumurs against his lips as she strokes him. She knows exactly where to touch to make him a writhing mess. She knows how to touch him – she knows him. "I don't need you to trust me to be there for you," She says, her voice earnest and for once almost bursting with emotion.
Her eyes blaze as she watches him and when her lips nip at his throat he comes, digging his nails into the skin of her upper arms. He groans her name, breathing heavily. Eren grips her tightly against him, breathing in the scent of her hair.
He doesn't know if he can trust her – or anyone, not when her life wasn't certain. Nothing was certain anymore.
But in this moment, at least he can have this.
