She was in denial. Dan had no doubt about that now. He had watched the turmoil of their relationship for months, actually, years now. For some reason, she just couldn't seem to admit to herself that it was finally over, really over. Dan knew for a fact, though, that they had broken up a couple of weeks ago.
You say you've turned it off
Hid your heart up on a shelf
He made a general nuisance of himself, dropping in on her at her apartment at any given time at least once a day. He stayed with her for hours at a time. He was there to hold her when her denial became depression. He made sure she ate, held her when she cried, and watched her while she slept. He couldn't bring himself to leave her most of the time. Not when she cried all day and wouldn't eat unless he force-fed her.
Scared of what it might cost
To take it off for someone else
She still had her bad days, but after having him with her for almost two weeks, her funk began to crack, letting in the sun.
"Trix, you're my best friend. I know what a great and loyal friend you are. If Jimbo can't see that, he's not only blind but he's a fool. So tell me, why are you still sitting around allowing yourself to wallow? Let's go have some fun," Dan finally voiced his feelings to her after they shared breakfast one day. To his delight, she smiled at him and her eyes shone with promise of some kind of adventure.
'Cause lovin' him you lost
Too much of yourself
As they made their way to the door, Trixie turned and asked him, "Jimbo?"
Dan's neck changed to an interested shade of red. "It's better than other things I could have called him. He's just being a bonehead, that's all."
"I'll say," Trixie muttered with a hum.
Neither was sure of what exactly it was they wanted to do. They wandered aimlessly through the town, enjoying the feel of the warm sun and the cool breeze. The conversation lapsed into a comfortable silence as they walked.
Dan didn't notice at first, but Trixie stopped in her tracks, her eyes dancing as something grabbed her attention. He had to double back to see what it was she was pointing at. His mouth formed a huge grin as he saw the sign for miniature golf.
Dan led the way, chuckling as he paid for two games, winking at Trixie over his shoulder. They laughed their way through the first half of the course, only paying partial attention to the scores. After the tenth hole, however, Trixie noticed how poorly Dan was doing. She didn't say anything, but watched him closer.
When they finished the last hole, Trixie confronted him.
"You purposely tanked, didn't you?" She demanded in a harsh tone, but the twinkle in her eyes told him that she was being playful.
"Maybe. I guess you'll never know, will you?" Dan grinned, an evil gleam in his dark eyes.
"Rematch. Now!" Trixie walked back to the ticket window without him then stood, waiting for him. Dan laughed and joined her, paying for a second round.
Baby can't you see that he's not me and...
After the second round, Trixie turned to Dan, trying desperately to hold back her laughter. "Wow, you didn't tank on purpose. You are really that bad," she said before finally falling into a fit of giggles.
Dan put his hand to his chest and pasted a wounded expression on his face. He didn't get the response he was hoping for, however, when Trixie bent double howling with laughter.
"Alright, so I'm that bad at putt-putt, but I bet that I'm better at bowling."
"Are you challenging me?" Trixie straightened, wiping her eyes.
"Darn skippy, I am. But first, I'm hungry. Let's go find something to eat." He grabbed her hand and led her away from the miniature golf course.
I need you to know you can fall into me
That my arms are wide open
And will always be
Dan held Trixie's hand all the way down the block. He jerked to a stop and looked across the street. With a smile and a wink over his shoulder, he pulled her into the crosswalk.
"Where are you taking me?" She asked, looking at the three restaurants that were clumped together.
"You'll see," Dan chuckled. She giggled herself, when he pulled her through the front door of Chuck E. Cheese's. He stopped at the entrance gate and turned to the employee that was working there.
"Could you stamp us please?" When he was answered with a dubious look while the young lady stamped their hands, he explained with a playful smile, "I don't want her telling me she's making a trip to the ladies room and leaving me here."
Right here waiting, staying strong
Come and fall into me
Trixie rolled her eyes at him, but laughed. She never realized that Dan was such a big kid.
By the time they were ready to leave, they had polished off a large pizza and well over 50 tokens. They laughed as they left the restaurant behind them.
Dan reached over to tug on the hat he got for Trixie with their tickets. It was pink, but had Chuck E's grey face on it and ears sticking out the top. She batted his hand away from the hat.
It was a gorgeous night for a walk. Trixie turned towards him. "You challenged me to bowling?" She raised an eyebrow at him in defiance.
I'll follow any road anywhere to get to you
I'll open up my soul
If that's what you need me to do
"I believe I did," Dan said after looking thoughtful for a moment. "But are you sure you want to ruin your winning streak on a bowling challenge that you're sure to lose?" Dan asked, offering her an out.
Trixie's eyes widened, "Was that a hidden challenge? You hide a challenge when you've already challenged me??? You're so toast."
"Ha! In your dreams." Dan stopped and nudged her shoulder hard enough to make her take a step to keep her balance.
"We'll see, Mangan." She narrowed her eyes and shoved him back.
Three games later, Trixie was eating her words. Dan hadn't been kidding when he challenged her to bowling. He had won all three of the games, by quite a margin too.
"I hate to say I told you so… but… I told you so." Dan puffed out his chest with a smile as he jerked his chin up at Trixie.
"I never really realized how big of a dork you are," she replied, giggling at his antics.
"Dork? DORK?" Unable to spit out a come back, he stood there with his brows knit together in a scowl and his jaw hanging.
But now baby it's your move
All you've got to do
Is believe in love, just believe in us now...
Trixie continued to giggle at him, but gave him a hug. Arms still around his waist, she leaned back to look in his eyes.
"I didn't say that being a dork was a bad thing." She reached up, ruffled his hair and turned away to walk out of the bowling alley.
Dan allowed himself a slow Cheshire Cat grin and a moment to let the constriction in his chest fade before joining Trixie and walking back to her apartment.
"Hey, would you look at that?" Dan wandered off course slightly, pointing to a poster on a telephone pole.
"A carnival!" Trixie squealed. "Can we go?"
Dan looked down at the top of her head and smiled. "If you want to, I don't see why not."
"I do," she looked up at him and smiled. "But maybe that's something for tomorrow. I am so sleepy."
Dan chuckled and nodded. "Me too, now that you mention it. I say we go back to your place and snuggle under blankets on the couch and fall asleep watching a movie."
"I think that sounds perfectly perfect. A wonderful ending to a fabulously fun day," she sighed. In a softer voice she added, "Thank you, Danny."
"It was my pleasure, Trix… really." He put his arm across her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.
When they got back to her apartment, they popped in a chick flick and fell asleep against each other, snuggling under a couple of thick blankets.
I need you to know you can fall into me
That my arms are wide open
And will always be
The next day the two headed to the carnival just before noon. They each played quite a few of the games, but neither managed to win any of the prizes.
Dan slowed as they passed the "Test of Strength" and he looked over at Trixie with a cocky smile. He waited in the rather short line and before he took the mallet from the worker, he put one fist into the palm of his other hand and popped his knuckles and vice versa. He hefted the mallet over his shoulder and took his stance. He rose to the balls of his feet and brought the mallet down. He smiled back at Trixie as the bell tolled. She grinned back as she applauded.
Dan accepted his prize from the worker with a 'thank-you' and turned to present it to Trixie. She laughed as she accepted the inflated mallet and gently bopped Dan on the head with it.
"Thanks. I'm impressed, Danny."
"After all those years of chopping wood for Mr. Maypenny? I better be able to win a silly game like that."
Right here waiting, staying strong
Come and fall into me
Trixie hummed her agreement as they approached a hot dog stand. They both ordered foot long hot dogs with sodas and took the dogs to the condiment table. After fixing the hot dogs the way they liked, they sat and ate them as quickly as they could. There were still many things to do and see.
Dan seemed to think his time was better spent eating. After the foot long hot dog, he found corn on the cob. Then he went after nachos and in true Mart fashion, didn't wait before he got a funnel cake.
"Danny, you really should slow down," Trixie warned somewhere between the corn and the funnel cake. "There are a lot of rides that I want to go on. I don't want you getting sick on me."
"Who me? I have an iron stomach. None of these little carnival rides can make me sick." Trixie shook her head but said no more.
Dan began to sing a different tune when they got off the Tilt-O-Whirl. His face was a little green as he made his way over to the nearest garbage can to sit beside it.
"Are you okay? You and your iron stomach?" Trixie asked.
"I'll be fine in just a sec. But could you go get me a Sprite or something to help my… um, aluminum stomach?" Dan answered with a nauseous grin.
"Sure." Trixie grinned, but managed to hold back her giggle. She brushed his hair out of his face. "I'll be right back."
After the Tilt-O-Whirl incident, the two friends just stayed long enough for a ride on the Ferris Wheel. They 'oohed' and 'ahhed' over the fairgrounds when they were sitting at the top of the ride. When the ride was over, they decided to call it a day and head back to Dan's.
The entire time he had spent with Trixie, Dan fought endlessly with himself. His heart screamed that he couldn't sit idly by, but his mind raced with rationalizations.
You don't want to hold her as she cries, you dope, his heart cried as they walked down the street.
No, but she would turn me down in a heartbeat. She's not ready to try again, he reminded his heart silently.
Show her you love her and she'll learn, his heart prodded.
"Shut up, you," Dan mumbled angrily and thumped his chest over his heart. His heart, however, was just as stubborn as he was. It might have shut up, but it kept up a slow and steady ache. By the time they got back to his apartment, he knew. He couldn't take it anymore.
Dan swallowed his nerves and his heart in hopes that it would fall back to where it belonged rather than remain in his throat. He looked into Trixie's usually bright eyes and hoped beyond hope that he was reading her correctly, and that he had at least half a chance.
"Trix, you know, I've been... What I mean to say is... I've really enjoyed spending so much time with you... not that I'm glad that you and Jim broke it off or anything," Dan paused and mumbled something under his breath before continuing. "And well, after these past couple of fun days, I have something that I really want to ask you."
He took a deep breath and threw himself in, "I know that you're probably not ready to rush into anything new, but I would really like it if you were to maybe consider..."
He didn't have to finish his question; his heart plunged into his stomach at the look on her face. He took a moment to wish that his heart would just find a place and stay put.
"Oh Danny… I just don't know…" she said hesitantly, her features twisted into a pained expression. Dan knew that look. She just didn't want to hurt his feelings.
"Just think about it, okay?" he asked, huskily, hoping that she couldn't see the hurt he knew was showing in his eyes. Trixie nodded wordlessly as Dan turned on his heal and left the room before the placement of his heart in his throat suffocated him.
Just believe in love
Just believe in us
Baby....
Trixie waited until Dan left the kitchen and then she fell into a chair, clutching fistfuls of hair in her hands.
"I'm not ready," she told herself softly. "I don't think I'm ready… I don't know if I could take more pain… I just don't want to get hurt again… but he's not Jim…" A hopeful look lit her eyes as her hands fell from her hair and she repeated, "He's not Jim. It's Danny… Danny wouldn't hurt me… he's not Jim."
As she stood again, she decided she needed to go back to her own place. She had things to think about, feelings to put into order, and a life to get on with… just maybe, a life with Dan. She gathered the few things that managed to wind up at Dan's. She sighed with a happy smile when she deflated the mallet he had won for her that afternoon.
Her place was too far from Dan's to walk home, so he gave her a ride. He was oddly quiet; letting his end of the conversation drop. He carried her small bag up to her floor and even stayed to make sure she was comfortable, placing her Chuck E. Cheese hat on one of the posts of her bed.
Before he left, he enveloped Trixie in a bear hug, running one hand over her soft curls. With a low sigh, he pulled away and smiled down at her. Putting his finger under her chin, he pulled her face to meet his eyes.
I need you to know you can fall into me
That my arms are wide open
And will always be
"You call me if you need anything," he said softly. "I mean it. Even if it's silly, call me, okay?" She nodded and returned his smile. He turned and opened the door.
"Hey, Danny?" She asked before he closed the door all the way. He opened the door slightly and met her gaze.
"Thank you. Really, thank you for all you've done. You're a wonderful man and I don't know what I would have done without your support," she said in a rush, her eyes suspiciously bright.
Dan merely shot her his best 'devil-may-care' grin as he turned to leave.
Right here waiting, staying strong
Come and fall into me
Trixie sat on her couch, crossing her legs under her and gave herself over to the war that raged inside of her. She wasn't ready for the hurt that came with a relationship gone awry. She also realized that she was more herself when she spent time with Dan than when she spent time with almost any other friend. He allowed her to have fun, and to have her own opinions. She didn't lose who she was when she was with him, as she had when she was with Jim.
She started comparing Dan to Jim. Dan had taken her to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch. Jim never would have even dreamed of doing something so juvenile. He would give me another one of those Miss Nonsense of America buttons and send me on tour with the carnival. She gave a short snort of laughter. She jumped up from the couch; she didn't need to think about it any longer.
She rushed to her phone and dialed the familiar number. After the beep of the answering machine, she left a quick message.
Dan's trip home seemed to last an eternity. He was exhausted from the past couple of days of fun, but he didn't want to go home to an empty apartment. He would miss being with Trixie. His heart gave a painful wrench at the thought of her not sprawling on the couch with him to watch a movie. It hadn't really mattered that when he saw her he would be greeted with a sad smile, as long as he was spending time with Trixie.
Dan unlocked his door and walked into the empty apartment, dropping his keys on the kitchen table as he passed. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair as he wandered into his living room. He plopped on his couch and glanced over at his answering machine. He blinked slowly at the flashing red light, not quite sure if he could be bothered to get up to press the play button. With a heavy sigh he crawled to the other end of the couch and stretched to push the button.
His heart gave a leap of joy when Trixie's voice came through the speaker.
"Danny? I just wanted to call to say that I've thought about it. You just let me know when and where, kay? Well… I guess I'll see ya."
Come and fall into me
Baby fall into me
Author's Notes:
I would like to say thank you to my lovely editors- Amber, Mal, Julie and Trish. You ladies are the best!
An extra thank you to Amber for playing the part of my sounding board as I struggled to get this story written. And to Trish, as well, for pointing out the obvious, that wasn't at all obvious to me (lol). I hope you don't mind that I used one of the lines that you emailed me!
"Fall Into Me" is one of Emerson Drive's hits. I just love this song and was thrilled when the idea for this story hit. I have been wanting to use one of their songs… which is used without permission, but no money is being made off of its use.
