Bijoux: Um yeah...this is supposed to be a Christmas special...knowing my luck though, it won't get anywhere and I'll fail miserably...or I'll have a virtual heart attack halfway through updating meh...either way...I'm a 'newbie' to this section, so can you dudes be nice to me...I don't care if you flame, but Corad has an opinion too...not a pretty one either...so please enjoy my worthless heap of Christmas based trash...and yeah...this may contain spoilers too...can't remember...
I don't own Star Ocean...Christmas...or the Grinch...if I did this would all be a reality...a sad reality at that...
Grinchy Grinch…
Chapter 1: Grinch Attack…?
It was a happy day in the castle of Airyglyph…well…it was…up until…
"CHRISTMAS PARTY!" Duke Vox screamed as he ran through the castle halls, his arms in the air, as if it was a sign of some form of victory.
Albel rolled his eyes when the 'animal man' ran past, now making cheering sounds, which sounded suspiciously like a gorilla's mating call.
King Arzie gazed at the short walk from his throne to the stairs, his crazed uncle's roars and screams echoing all the way to his ears.
And as the commotion dwelled inside the castle of Airyglyph, Magistrate Lasselle lay haven inside the castle of Aquaria, trying to wrap up a present for the queen. He had no sooner failed miserably, and the half wrapped cow prodder, was thrown into a ceiling fan, which probably shouldn't have even been on the planet.
Never the less, this is how Elicoor II knew and remembered Christmas season.
Fayt Leingod was currently decorating the Diplo. Cliff had put up a plastic tree, and was covering it in tinsel and lights.
Fayt stepped away from his work to admire it; he had been decorating the hallways, covering them with tinsel and holly. There was even a mistle toe hanging from the doorframe of the control room, but the disgusted and evil look on Maria's face, threatened it to fall to pieces.
Fayt then made his way towards the small area outside the control room. He frowned when he saw Maria glaring at the mistle toe, which he had spent at least 15 minutes trying to make it stay on the metal frame, in a position it which the door would destroy it when it opened and closed.
The blue haired boy's frown however turned upside down, when he spotted Cliff, just finishing off the large Christmas tree.
"Alright…now I can go have a beer…" Cliff said in a victorious tone as he slumped away slowly. Maria rolled her eyes and she then continued to glare at the small thorny creation above, occasionally her glare would quickly dart towards Fayt, or the poorly decorated tree.
Cliff had soon reappeared, a bottle of beer in his hand.
"So…are we gonna invite the Elicoorians up here for Christmas…?" Cliff asked as he turned to look at Fayt.
Maria looked horrified in the background, before she started glaring at Cliff and Fayt, though they were blissfully unaware of the deadly look they were receiving.
"Well…I guess we could…if they really wanted to…" Fayt sighed as he turned back to the tree; the tinsel was beginning to fall off slightly, causing the tree to look like it had been decorated in a mad hurry, then left for possible death.
"Great…we can go get 'em now…" Cliff said as he disappeared into the control room, Maria glaring at his disappearing back.
"Hey Maria…" Sophia said as she approached the scowling women. Maria grunted a reply, before she continued to glare at Fayt now.
Maria glanced at Sophia, giving her a dirty look every time, in the hopes that she would just bum off. The looks however failed in the end, and Sophia remained standing next to Maria, being the biggest pain ever to the blue haired one.
"So…are you gonna get me a Christmas present…? I got you one…" Sophia said with one of her deadly 'I'm so cute' smiles.
Maria unenthusiastically shrugged, as she turned her head away from the annoying one, for a chance to roll her angry eyes.
"Oh come on, you don't wanna look like the grinch do you! That's Albel's job…" Sophia slightly laughed. She was replied with an awkward silence, and a gush of anger based heat, radiating from Maria's body.
"Okay…well…um…I guess I'll be going now…bye…" Sophia said before she went off to help Fayt fix the tree up a bit. Maria still stood in the same spot, even after Fayt and Sophia walked off, talking amongst themselves happily.
Maria rolled her eyes at their pitiful happiness and existence. It had been about 5 more minutes, before the real problem came…
Yes, Leiber had spotted his 'love' and was slowly edging his way towards her and the mistle toe. Maria raised an eyebrow as he took a sidestep along the metal wall behind him. He glanced around a bit, probably trying to look normal, before he took another step towards Maria. Maria glared at him; if he somewhat even tried to enter her 'bubble' then he'd meet an untimely death.
Maria scowled over at him, just as he was looking at her from the corner of his eye. He noticed this, and quickly glanced away, fidgeting with his clothes to try and look unsuspicious towards her.
She rolled her eyes as he took another large side step. Maria soon began to slightly panic, it appeared that Leiber was getting dangerously close, if only Lancar or Steeg were here…they'd get rid of him in an instant…but no, they weren't here, they were off doing their own business, unlike Lieber, who was obviously slacking off.
Maria snapped out of her thought when she noticed that Lieber was right next to her. She frowned as he did the whole yawning technique, before putting his right arm around her shoulders and pulling her towards him.
'Oh God no…Luther…can you delete him now…?' Maria thought to herself as Lieber began to edge his face closer to hers. Maria started to panic, she probably would have died, if Mirage hadn't come walking around the corner, she spotted Lieber and Maria and screamed as she dived for the scene, it would appear that everything was in slow mode now…
"Maria! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mirage screamed in slow mode as she dived across their front view, a laser gun in her hands.
(Everything in slow mode from now on…)
"NOOOO!" Maria screamed as she tilted her head away from Lieber, who looked ready to kiss her.
"Huh…?" Lieber said as he looked away from Maria to Mirage.
"DIIIIIIEEEEE!" Mirage screamed as she pointed the gun at Lieber for a split second, during her Matrix styled move, before she quickly aimed the gun up at the mistle toe, shooting a large laser beam at it, causing it to turn charcoaled and shriveled.
(End slow mode stage…)
The mistle toe crumpled into a small pile of ash on the floor between Lieber and Maria. As if on queue, Lieber casually walked away from the scene, whistling and generally acting as if nothing had happened.
Mirage climbed to her feet, dusting off her clothes.
"Thanks Mirage…now I'm glad you watch too many Matrix movies…" Maria sighed before she walked away.
"Don't mention it captain…" Mirage said as she saluted the disappearing Maria. She then tuned around and went inside the control room.
Once Mirage entered the control room, she took her usual place at the computer thingy she worked at. Cliff and Marietta were having an argument about inviting people away from their own families, even before Christmas.
It would appear that they had stopped above Elicoor II, but Marietta disagreed with forcing people to come celebrate Christmas day a week early, especially when they already had family on their own planet to enjoy it with.
"I don't care if Santa Clause himself told me to shove it! Because I'm having Christmas with my friends! Whether you like it or not!" Cliff boomed from the captain's chair.
"Yes Cliff…" Marietta sighed as she moved the ship closer to the planet, so that Cliff could go get his 'friends'.
"Alright, I'll take Fayt and go get them…you wait around here…I don't wanna be stuck down there for Christmas.
And so it was settled, no further arguments, Cliff had apparently won the battle, between common sense and pure stupidity.
It took about 20 minutes of slouching aimlessly around the Diplo, before Cliff returned, with Nel, Claire, Adray, Roger, Mr and Mrs. Roger's parents, for some strange reason Duke Vox, and lastly a large kicking, brown sack, which looked as though it contained Albel the Wicked.
"Un-sack me maggot!" the sack screamed. Maria, who was just walking by, gazed down at the sack with an arched eyebrow. This Christmas was going to be a blast…(shows Diplo exploding in mid flight)…
"Now, Fayt, you go get some rooms ready…Maria…do we possibly have a cage…?" Cliff sighed as he turned towards Maria; Fayt was disappearing in the background, towards the living area of the ship.
The other Elicoorians followed after Fayt, to get their rooms.
Maria raised an eyebrow at Cliff.
"Why do you want a cage…?" Maria asked.
"Well…Albel wouldn't cooperate…and old man Woltar kept complaining on the way here that he already had plans for Christmas day…so…I had to catch them…" Cliff explained as he looked down at the sack.
"Let us go you lummox!" Woltar's voice groaned out of the sack.
"You heard him fool…now let us go…" Albel hissed right after.
Cliff rolled his eyes.
"I. TOLD. YOU. NO. ONE'S. GOIN'. HOME. UNTIL. BOXING. DAY!" Cliff screamed as he threw numerous punches into the bag.
Moans of pain seeped through the thick material before Cliff dragged it away, causing more groans of protest and pain.
Maria was left to think to herself as Cliff walked away, dragging the sack quickly towards another room.
"Um…Mr. Klausion sir…?" Woltar mumbled after a while of dragging, "I don't want to be a drag or anything…but I think I'm getting a slight case of tile burn…"
"Shut up you old coot…" Albel hissed back, before signs of physical, verbal AND mental bickering began to show on the outside of the sack.
"Now come on guys…if you just promise to cooperate, I can let you out of this sack, and you can go explore on your own free will…" Cliff sighed as he came to a halt, and then turned around to face the fiercely moving sack.
"I'll cooperate…" Woltar said as his hand began waving it the air, causing the sack to mould around it, the new lack of space in the sack made it possible to the outline of his baldhead.
"Alright then…" Cliff simply said as he bent down to untie the small thread closing up the sack. It was soon undone and Cliff helped Woltar out of the sack, all the time making sure that Albel didn't escape.
"Now, you go have fun…" Cliff said as he retied the sack, waving at Woltar as he began to walk away.
After about another 5 minutes of traveling that seemed rather pointless, Cliff decided he should try and make conversation with Albel, in the hopes that he too, would at least try and cooperate.
"So Albel…you enjoy Christmas…Don't tell me you're like the Grinch of Elicoor or something…?" Cliff chuckled. There was no reply.
"Okay…so…you gonna get anyone a present…? If you get me one, I'll get you one…" Cliff tried again, only to be somewhat ignored.
"Albel…? You there buddy…?" Cliff sighed as he looked over his shoulder at the sack. There was no answer, so Cliff came to a halt. He opened to sack and found no Albel, only a fairly scared looking, beaten and tied up Count Woltar.
"Hey what the…?" Cliff mumbled as he scratched his head, an angry look was on his face, as he eyed the scrunched up sock in Woltar's mouth.
Cliff removed the sock, realizing it to be one of his.
"It was Albel…when you let me go…he kinda just…appeared from this other corridor…he beat me up, tied me up, somehow stole that sock from your very foot, then shoved me back in the sack for some reason…he said something about now he could finally be free again or something…" Woltar explained as Cliff untied the ropes around Woltar's wrist and ankles.
"So…he somehow escaped…caught you…put you in the sack…and said he was finally free, when technically…but wait a sec! The sac never felt lighter, so how could he have…ah forget it…" Cliff tried to figure out the logical explanation but failed miserably, soon walking away from the horrid scene. Woltar soon climbed out of the sack completely and headed for the sick bay, to heal his bruises.
Meanwhile Albel was exploring the ship, scowling at the decorations as he went along. To tell you the truth, the decorations alone made Albel want to hurl, let alone the people who had put them up.
That was when he saw it…yes…IT…the poorly made Christmas tree, that Cliff had previously put up and had attempted to decorate, NOTE: ATTEMPTED.
"Stupid tree…" Albel muttered to himself as he walked up to the tree, glaring at it all the way. He soon became too spiteful towards the tree, and it wasn't long before he appeared running through the many hallways of the Diplo, the tree under his gauntleted arm, as he approached the rubbish eject system.
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Albel cackled as he forced the large mass of red, green, sliver and gold into the large rubbish tube, "Die freak! DIE!" Albel hissed as he forced the entire tree in, soon laughing like a loon again, before he pressed the eject button.
He leapt to the closest window, and watched as the tree flew out into space, soon colliding forcefully into another ship that was flying beside the Diplo. Albel laughed at the sight of the tree, deeply indented into the metal of the Federation ship.
He then walked away, still laughing at the same time as admiring his work.
But although this was all fun for Albel, it would soon turn to war for the Diplo…because the federation ship contained…
"Commander Commodore! That other ship just fired at us!" a federation soldier screamed as he ran up to Commodore Whitcomb, who was gazing out the window of his federation ship.
Anger soon enclosed the man's face.
"Well then what are you waiting for! Fire something back you fools!" Commodore screamed at the soldier.
"Y-y-yes sir!" the soldier said as he saluted Commodore, before running down the hallway. Commodore felt a tinge of happiness when he heard the sound of a firing cannon.
"Ahh, I love that sound…now, time to inspect my precious tree…" Commodore sighed as he walked away, towards his meeting room, where his carefully decorated Christmas tree lay.
But Commodore would not come to a halt at his tree, no, he came to a halt at what was left of his tree. A few decorations, and a short reel of red tinsel lay around where the tree had been.
"WHAT! What has happened to my tree…!" Commodore screamed as he ran out of the meeting room. He looked over at the same soldier he had met before.
"Well…you told us to fire back…so…" the soldier replied nervously.
"Yes I told you to fire back…so you fired back a missile…" Commodore said slowly, allowing time for the information to sink into the man's head.
"Oh…but we…we thought that…uh oh…" the soldier said as he nervously eyed his commander.
Commodore looked out the window, just in time to see his precious tree float past. He quickly darted to the window and screamed when he noticed that in reality it was his tree…
"NOOOO!" Commodore screamed as he clawed at the window helplessly, "It was so young and blissful! AWWWW!" Commodore choked out some sobs as he fell to his knees, tears cascading down his face and splashed on the floor below.
"Um…sir…will you be all right…?" the soldier asked as he looked down at Commodore with a note of sympathy on his face.
"Why…? WHY!" Commodore screamed as he got back on his feet and angrily advanced on the soldier.
"Well, they fired a tree at us…see…?" Commodore looked to where the man was pointing and saw the outline of a tree on the inside of one of the ships walls. The hallway fell silent as Commodore processed the information in his head.
"But…why would they do that…" Commodore asked as he frowned towards the soldier. The soldier shrugged, not really know any possible answer for the question.
"Maybe it was just an accident…" Commodore suggest to himself before he looked out the window again to see two trees floating around now. He collapsed on the ground again, screaming and crying in horror.
"I spent 3 hours making her perfect!" the commander screamed as his soldier came and began to comfort him.
Meanwhile on the Diplo…
"NOOO! I spent 3 hours trying to decorate that thing!" Cliff screamed as he collapsed on his knees, he wasn't crying or making a very big deal about the fact that his tree had just flown past the window, but it still got to him that it was ruined just like that.
"Who would do such a thing…?" Fayt asked as he frowned out the window, then towards Cliff who was grimacing towards the floor.
"I dun-know man…I just don't know…" Cliff sighed as he clenched his fists angrily, and shook his head.
He then angrily climbed to his feet and headed into the control room. There was a flashing red light in this room, and everyone was talking restlessly fast.
"Captain…I think they maybe planning on firing again…" Marietta said with panic in her tone as she urgently typed into the computer in front of her.
"Marietta just calm down…they fired a tree at us! A TREE! And they only did it because we fired a tree at them first…somebody put the tree in the rubbish eject system, that's all…" Maria sighed as she rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms across her chest.
Albel slowly entered the room, while Marietta began to calm down.
"What are you fools trying to do…? Getting us into a fight like that…? How inconsiderate of you, maggots…" Albel hissed as he glared at Maria. Maria glared back, but Albel was now the least of her problems, because somewhere…out in the galaxy…there was a giant, flying mower…designed to be a space ship…and the captain of that space ship was…
"Um…Miss. Peppita sir…" Gonnella mumbled as he doddered up to his 'captain'.
"What is it Gonnella…?" Peppita asked in a sweet tone from the Captains seat of her newly received, mower based, space ship.
"Well…um…me and Ursus were just minding our own business when we spotted the Diplo, they've got all the guys on there, and they haven't even tried to invite you…" Gonnella explained as he looked down at Peppita.
"WHAT!" Peppita roared angrily, "Okay, that's it…now it's war…"
(Zooms out to show Duke Vox reading the story, a bucket of popcorn is in his hands)
Vox: What the hell was that!
Bijoux: Um...the first chapter of my Christmas story...
Vox: Prrrrp...more like a friendship speech in the middle of a battlefield!
Bijoux: What's wrong with that...?
Vox: Duh, it's completly pointless, and in the end goes nowhere...
Bijoux: Okay...please review...maybe I'll acutally get out of my couch based butt groove and update...meh...
