Cold Day In November
Chapter 1: And It Started As Such A Good Day
Y'all may remember, a little while back, when the Dukes had a little run in with some bad ol' boys down from Virginia one moonlit night. A senator and his wife were murdered, with Daisy as a witness, and the Dukes got caught in the crossfire between the FBI and a gang of mercenaries-for-hire doing the dirty work for some Washington politician. It all turned out alright in the end - the bad guys went to prison, the Dukes received a hefty reward and the thanks of the federal government, and the two wounded warriors, Bo and Luke, spent the rest of the summer being waited on hand and foot while they healed up. As you can imagine, they got pretty tired of it pretty quick, and were just itchin' to get back into the swing of things - especially Luke, whose busted leg kept him grounded a whole lot longer than his younger cousin.
Well, it's November now, and Luke finally got that cast off last week, just in time for a solid week of rain to keep the boys indoors and off the slick roads. It wasn't that Bo and Luke didn't love to go muddin' in the General, but the cold wet weather put Uncle Jesse in the mood to work on a few things around the farmhouse, and he asked Daisy and the boys for their help. Never ones to refuse their uncle's requests, they spent the week sweeping and dusting, cleaning out cabinets and corners, washing the windows, organizing boxes of old pictures and papers, and all manner of tidying up. When Friday dawned bright and sunny, the farmhouse practically gleamed with their efforts, and Bo and Luke were looking for any excuse to get out before Jesse could think up something new.
"Let's call Cooter up, see if he wants to help us work on the General," Luke suggested. He and Bo sat at the kitchen table, finishing coffee after breakfast. They hadn't yet seen Uncle Jesse - Daisy said he'd headed out to the fields early to check for flooding and washout from the rain.
"Sounds good to me," Bo agreed, and picked up the CB mike. "This is Lost Sheep callin' Crazy Cooter, you gotcher ears on ol' buddy? Come back." He waited a few moments for a response, and was about to call again when the mike crackled.
"Hey there Lost Sheep, this is Cooter, but I don't got time to talk, buddy, I got Boss Hogg breathin' down my neck to fix Lulu's Rolls by noon and another dozen cars waitin' after that."
"A dozen cars? What happened, someone hold a demolition derby and not invite us?"
"Where've you been, Bo? I've been hoppin' all week, towin' cars that slid off the road, couple 'o crashes, one real bad one on Tuesday, sent a couple 'o folks to the hospital - I don't think I can fix that one."
"We've been hoppin' too," Bo replied glumly. "Uncle Jesse's kept us busy around the house doin' chores. That's why we called you, we're looking for somethin' to do so he doesn't keep us in again."
"Well, if yer lookin' for somethin' to do, I could use your help - I got a load of parts waitin' to be picked up in Chickasaw, that I sure could use - I haven't had time to get out there and get them. If you and Luke would go out there for me, I'd sure be grateful."
Bo looked hopefully at Luke, who took the mike. "Cooter, you know we can't cross the county line without permits, we're on probation."
"Well, Lucas Dukas, I'll just tell Boss that I can't fix Lulu's Rolls without those parts, and he'll have Rosco waitin' for you at the county line with your permits when you get there!"
Luke grinned at Bo from across the table - finally! "Sounds like a big 10-4 to me, ol' buddy, where do we pick them up from?"
Cooter gave them directions, and promised he'd call ahead so they'd be ready when the Dukes got there. Then he signed off, and Luke replaced the mike.
"Well alright!" Bo exclaimed, sitting back in his chair.
"Alright what?" Uncle Jesse was coming inside through the back door, careful to leave his muddy boots outside.
Luke turned around in his chair. "Oh, we, ah, just told Cooter we'd go pick up some parts for him in Chickasaw. He's been flat out busy all week, and needs them for some repairs he's doin' - he's even gonna get Boss to give us travel permits."
"Oh." Jesse looked thoughtful for a moment, entering the kitchen to pour himself a hot cup of coffee. "Alright, then. I was gonna ask you boys if you wanted to go out huntin' today, 'cause there's not much but beans for supper tonight."
Luke immediately felt guilty - he'd forgotten that both money and supplies were running a little low, but they had already promised Cooter, and he really wanted to get out of the house.
"We'll go out tomorrow, Uncle Jesse," Bo promised.
"Well okay," Jesse consented. " But drive careful, the roads are gonna be real slick out there."
"We will," Luke said, standing. Bo took the cue and stood too, stepping aside to push his chair back into place. "We better head out, so we don't keep Cooter waiting," Luke excused them as Jesse took a swallow of coffee. Their uncle waved goodbye over his shoulder, and they were out the door without another word.
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Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane had been waiting at the county line on the Chickasaw Road for nearly an hour, and he was not in a good mood.
"I tell you, Flash, one of these days I'm gonna get them Duke boys, and I'm gonna…and they're gonna…" He was at a loss for words, thinking of how happy he'd be when they were in jail and out of his hair. Flash, his basset hound, gave him a droopy stare and yawned, bored.
The radio crackled to life. "Rosco! Rosco, where are you, answer me!" Flash barked a bass woof at Boss Hogg's voice. Rosco jumped, startled, and reached into the parked cruiser. Fumbling, he dropped the mike on the seat, leaned in farther to grab it, and fell in entirely. Crumpled on one shoulder, upside down and hat crooked, he answered Boss's call.
"This is Sheriff Ros-co P. Col-trane here, go ahead little fat buddy."
"Rosco! You idiot! And I am not your little fat buddy! Now, did the Dukes get there yet?"
"N-no sir, Boss, not yet, I've been waitin', and…"
"Well then you keep waitin'! Make sure they get those permits! Lulu…"
"…My fat sister…"
"…Your fat sister, needs her car for the Ladies' Auxillary Auction tonight, and Cooter can't fix it without those parts!"
"Ooo! And when the Dukes boys have delivered the parts, I can arrest them for forging illegal travel permits?"
"Rosco, you will do no such thing!"
"Well, why not, Boss?"
"Because Cooter still has to fix my car after you crashed into it yesterday!"
"Well Boss, that road was awful slippery, and I did have the ri…"
"Rosco! If you don't quit jawin' and get back to watchin' the road, you're…"
"…Gonna be watchin' the night counter…"
"…Gonna be watchin' the night counter…"
"…At Dizzy Lovak's all-night corner store…"
"…At Dizzy Lovak's all-night corner store…"
"…On Charlton Road…"
"…On Charlton Road! Now get on it!"
Rosco hung up the mike, muttering to Flash as he disentangled himself from the car. Standing up straight, he dusted off his uniform and put his hat on straight just in time to see the Duke boys drive up in the General Lee.
Now, the reason it took the Dukes so long to get there was that they took the long way 'round, and managed to go through every puddle and mud slick in the north end of the county in the process. That's why the General is lookin' awful brown, instead of the usual orange - too bad they didn't go through the creek and clean him off, too.
"Mornin' Rosco!" Bo greeted cheerily out the passenger-side window, still laughing over coming around the bend of the road and seeing Rosco's legs sticking out of the cruiser's window.
"Don't you 'mornin' me, Bo Duke!" Rosco replied crossly, fumbling to pull the permits out from his shirt pocket. "You just get out there and come back quick-like, y'hear? Boss wants Lulu's car fixed by noon, and…"
Bo took the permits from his hand, and waved as Luke gunned the engine. "Bye', Rosco!" he called, waving out the window and ignoring the sheriff's haughty instructions.
Tripping over his own tongue, as usual, Rosco couldn't get out a good reply until the Dukes were long gone. "Bo Duke!" he finally spat angrily, throwing his hat to the ground and stopping just shy of stomping on it. Flash regarded him for a moment, then settled back comfortably onto her seat with a groan.
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It didn't take Bo and Luke long at all to find Cooter's autoparts supplier, and they loaded up the backseat and truck with scads of boxes, small and large, and a pair of tires too. It was maybe 11am, and though neither of them was in a hurry to get back, they called Cooter on the CB from in front of the store just to make sure.
"Lost Sheep callin' Crazy Cooter, gotcher ears on? Come back."
"Crazy Cooter comin' atcha, Lost Sheep, what's the word?"
"Well, Cooter, we've got the parts…what time did you say you needed them by?"
"Weeeell, this Rolls is takin' me longer than I thought, I don't think I'll get to any of the rest until maybe three - why, you thinkin' of doin' some sight-seein'?"
"Something like that," Luke said, turning in the driver's seat to watch a slender young woman walk past, long golden-brown hair swaying down her back. Bo, who wasn't attached to the CB, greeted her with his most charming smile, but she walked right past the both of them in the General, trying to suppress a giggle. She looked back over her shoulder at the pair, but kept on going. Bo watched longingly until she was out of sight.
"Luke! You there, buddy?"
"Oh! Yeah. So, three? Sounds like we've got a little time then - might as well make use of these travel permits. Know any good places out this way? The roads are awful for jumps, but there's plenty of mud."
"You still at Patterson's?"
"Yeah, just out front."
"Go in and ask John to point you toward Oldhall Road - it leads back into Hazzard, and there's some good spots out there. Lots of old tracks where they used to race, before the Chickasaw sheriff shut them down."
"Sounds great, Cooter. Thanks - we'll see you at three. Lost Sheep out."
It took a quick moment for Bo and Luke to run back inside for directions. Holding a map scrawled on a piece of notebook paper, they thanked John Patterson and headed back to the General. Stepping outside, though, they were greeted by the less-than-welcome sight of Sheriff Little, standing with his arms crossed in front of the driver's side door. Both Dukes stopped in their tracks - their run-ins with the man had been thankfully few but too many just the same.
"I seem to recall that Beauregard and Lucas Duke, the owners of this…car, are not to leave Hazzard County under the terms of their probation. So I saw their car here, and wondered just what business they had here in Chickasaw, where they are not welcome," the sheriff enlightened them with a deep frown, eyes hidden behind his sunglasses.
"Aw, Sheriff, we're just pickin' up some car parts for our buddy Cooter, and we're headed home right now. We've even got travel permits, signed by Boss Hogg himself," Luke explained while Bo tried to look as innocent as he could. They both pulled out their permits from their respective pockets and offered them to the irritable man. He inspected them for a moment, frowning deeper as he saw that every last i was dotted and t was crossed. He handed the permits back, and stepped aside.
"Then Hazzard County must be missing two such law-abiding citizens. You'd best return before your own good sheriff gets worried,"Little advised with ill-concealed menace.
"And let Chickasaw County lose out on all we have to offer? Now that wouldn't be very fair of us, would it, Luke?" Bo refused to be pushed around by the cantankerous sheriff - they were perfectly legal this time, too!
"Why no, Bo, that wouldn't be fair at all," Luke agreed, watching the sheriff carefully…no need to push him too far.
The uniformed man full-out scowled this time, and shook an angry finger at the both of them. "I want you Dukes out of here by sundown, and if I so much as catch you jaywalking, you'll find yourselves in jail quicker than a wolf on a wounded deer," he swore.
Luke held his hands up innocently. "Okay, okay! We're going!" He edged around the sheriff and climbed into the front seat. Bo jogged around the back and climbed in on his side, and under the sheriff's watchful eye, they turned around and headed back towards Hazzard.
On the road, Bo looked over at his cousin. "We aren't really going back now, are we?"
"Of course not," Luke said, handing Bo the hand-drawn map. "Here, navigate."
"O-kay," Bo looked at the map. He hadn't really been listening to the store owner when he explained it, instead watching out the window ata cute blond who was talking to an older woman just across the street.
"You're holding it sideways, Bo."
"Oh! Oh, uh, turn left up here…wait, sorry! Right…" He turned the map back the other way.
A wrong turn or two later, and they found the place - a broad open field, with dips and depressions and hillocks and knolls, surrounded by a worn curving track and a half-hearted attempt at a fence.
"Beau-ti-ful," Bo whistled, seeing the potential in the site. "Why is it we never heard about this place?"
"Does it matter?"
"Not at all."
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It was a good two hours before Luke even looked at the time. He mentioned it in passing to Bo, who was then at the wheel sending the General skidding sideways down a slope into a massive puddle. Luckily, they had cranked the windows up, because the resulting sheet of mud and water washed clear across the entire length of the car. Bo whooped and floored the gas, throwing mud high into the air as the car spun off across the field again. Luke pointed out another knoll to head for on the Duke's newest playground. He promptly forgot his own comment as Bo raced for it and found the hillock wasn't nicely curved, but dropped off sheer on the other side, launching the racecar into the air to land with mucky splash. Another target came into sight, and another, and another, before Bo offered to let Luke drive again. He stopped the car on a relatively dry spot, and he got out so Luke could slid over and take the wheel. While Bo climbed back in, Luke glanced at the clock again - it was 2:30.
"Hey Bo? I hate to cut this short, but we're due back by three, an' even the way we drive we'll be pushing it."
"Aw, man!" Bo looked at the clock and knew his cousin was right. "Alright, let's go then."
Luke hit one more knoll on the way across the field. "We'll come back," he said aloud, a promise to all three of them - Luke, Bo, and the General Lee. Mud dripped off the orange paint as he sped down the road back towards Hazzard.
A few miles down the unfamiliar road, they came around a bend and Luke immediately braked and slowed down. The young women sat on the rear bumper of an RV the was pulled onto the side of the road, sporting a flat tire. The RV leaned just at the edge of the road above a deep water-filled ditch. Both women jumped up at the sight of the car, waving their arms.
"Luke, we don't have much time," Bo reminded his cousin, eyes on the two women.
"Then we'll have to make this quick," Luke replied, pulling up behind the RV. "Howdy, ladies!" he greeted, climbing out of the car as the pair walked up. "Bit of tire trouble?"
"Oh, yes! We've been sitting here for hours, not a soul has driven past! Thank you so much!" one exclaimed, a dark-haired beauty. "My name's Selena, and this is my friend Charlotte. We're on our way south, and got a bit side-tracked seeing some of the sights."
Bo smiled broadly at the shapely blond who walked up to his side of the car. "Nice to meet you, Selena and Charlotte. I'm Bo Duke, and this is my cousin Luke."
"Looks like you boys have had a bit of car trouble yourself," Charlotte commented, eyeing the mud-covered General.
"Oh, no trouble," Bo grinned wider. "Just a bit of fun in the mud."
"Mmm, I think I like the way you country boys play," Charlotte stepped in closer to Bo.
"Let's have a look at that tire," Luke said loudly, before his cousin was lost beyond hope of helping.
"Oh…right!" Bo said, and quickly walked over to examine the flat, now the gallant mechanic. "Aw, we can change this out in a jiff," he announced.
Luke unhooked the spare from the rear of the RV while Bo fetched the jack and tire iron from the General. It didn't take them long at all to life the RV on the jack, spin off the lug nuts, and secure the spare. Bo lowered the jack while Luke stood back and wiped his hands on his jeans.
"There you go, that should hold at least until you can get a new tire," Luke said. Both women stood beside him, watching the whole job appreciatively.
"Thank you so much!" Selena said again. "Will you join us for a late lunch? Oh, you must!" she insisted as Luke began to shake his head.
"I'm real sorry, we'd like to, but me an' Bo promised a friend we'd get him these car parts, and we're running even later now."
Charlotte put a hand on Bo's arm and looked up at his blue eyes. "Can't you at least take a glass of lemonade? We've got a fresh pitcher just inside," she asked invitingly.
Bo looked at Luke beseechingly. "Aw, come on Luke! A few minutes won't hurt."
The elder Duke cousin relented - he wasn't in a great hurry to leave the lovely ladies himself, and Cooter would understand. "Alright, just a few minutes."
Selena and Charlotte looked delighted. "You boys stay here, now, and we'll be right back," Selena promised.
As they walked around the side of the RV, Bo joined Luke leaning against the hood of the General, swatting his cousin in the ribs. Luke chuckled, rubbing one hand on his jaw.
Now, maybe it's just me, but doesn't it seem a mite coincidence that two lovely damsels in distress happened to be stranded on the one deserted road that Bo and Luke were driving down?
A few minutes later, the two women returned bearing four tall glasses of lemonade. Bo and Luke each accepted a glass, taking a careful sip. It was sweet and delicious, and Bo said as much.
"It's an old family recipe," Charlotte explained.
"So where're you gals headed?" Luke asked curiously. It wasn't often a couple of women traveled by themselves, a long distance by their northern accents.
"We're working our way to Florida, from Ohio," Selena explained. "We're taking the scenic route, though - we've been on the road some three weeks now."
"In this thing?" Bo asked, surprised. "What a way to live!"
"Would you like to see it?" Charlotte asked him. He nodded, caught taking a few more swallows of the lemonade. "Well come on this way!" she led the way to the door on the side.
Luke and Selena stayed by the General. "Don't you like Charlotte's lemonade?" she asked.
"No, this is great!" Luke insisted, downing some more. "I think my cousin Daisy would love the recipe." He could see Bo and Charlotte through the rear window as she showed him around, but coyly shook off his advances. Shortly, they were headed back out. He snorted laughter as Bo stumbled stepping out of the RV, but his laughter was cut short when his cousin fell to his knees, looking up at Charlotte with a strange expression. Luke took a few steps forward, halting when his own vision began to tilt. Bo had collapsed, and lay sprawled on the grass. Luke looked back at Selena, who was watching him with a vicious smile.
"You don't look so good, hayseed," she commented, stepping forward.
Luke wavered and stumbled backwards, a shout of protest cut off as he blacked out and fell, rolling down the slope into the ditch below. Selena followed his limp body down, stopping to search him for the keys to the General and making sure he didn't lay facedown in the water. It wouldn't do for him to drown. She held up the keys triumphantly to Charlotte.
"Let's get going. They're expecting us by six."
The two vixens drove off in the RV and the hijacked General Lee, leaving the Duke cousins unconscious on the side of the road.
Something tells me those girls aren't after Cooter's car parts. Come on, boys, get up! That's the General they're stealin'!
